RE: falling in love with your Master

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RE: falling in love with your Master - 5/21/2007 6:33:33 AM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
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I had a wonderful relationship, but it wasn't giving me what I needed (bdsm). I did both for a while (with everyones knowledge), but at some point came to the conclusion it wasn't fair to the person I had the relationship with. Being with a Dom took a lot of my emotional energy..to the point I don't think I had enough to give to the other. It wasn't anyones fault, it's just the way things are.

I wish I had some advice to give you, I really do. I know you should be upfront with your spouse about how you are feeling..perhaps he won't want to be someone you "settle" for and would want out of it also. There is a lot to get caught up with in bdsm. I agree with LA that you probably do have some frenzy going on and aren't really in love. There are a lot of emotions that can come into play..some feel like love (trust me, I know). I have loved a Dom or two..I am in love with a wonderful one now. Do you know if your feelings are returned by the Dom you have? Where does he see things down the road? Are you willing to give up someone you love, for something that might last or that might be? Is this worth giving up your whole life for (child and hubby)? I have known many that walked away from those they loved only to end up alone in the end. The Dom moves on and they are left more empty than before.

I don't know if that is what would happen to you, but you have a lot to think about. This is one of those adult things that no one can really help you with...you have to live with your decisions either way.

Good luck with it.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to dvart)

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Post #: 61

RE: falling in love with your Master - 5/21/2007 6:44:02 AM

shyinini

Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline

I will admit I have not read this entire thread...
I have in thepast known a self identified slave who moved away from her beloved married master (nilla wife) cause her nilla husband was transferred to TX (military). I thinkshe "loved" hermaster morethanher husbnad but would never leave her husband becasue they did nothae a badmarriage and they had beautidul children together.

I have become friends with another woman, not military, in this same predicatment, altho moving is not in the picture.

She so wants to be wanted by a man who will emotionally attach to her....
fulfill her needs as a submissive.

I cant give her advice direction guidance in regards to her marriage or her husband or her submissive hunger....but I have told her I fully understand her submissive hunger,not just sexually.

Like another postersaid.... I cant get into that headspace ~~ but I so accept her for the person she is and the wants she has.

I did tell her just yesterday.... Sir means alot to me and I would do anything for him...thank God neither of us are married or attached, but to each other ~~ but I refuse to have anything to do with being "in love" with him until the committment is to be live together. Tis the ONLY ay I know to keep my heart and emotion as safe fromthe pain of being rejected and released for what ever reason.
I really do not see it coming.... to not be wanted.... but he knows I carry enough baggage to be gentle yet strict, loyal and opnly sincere with me.....

I so sympathize (but cant fully empathize) with those who are like moki.... fully accepting their dilemna casue they helped put themselves there and seem to take responsiblity....
good luck for anyone in this positon

(graciously read past the typos please?)

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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Post #: 62

RE: falling in love with your Master - 5/21/2007 10:29:09 AM

peepeegirl5

Posts: 214
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHyde

quote:

You don't owe any man the time of day sweetheart. Do as you please.

Wow, that's fucking shallow! And amazingly selfish, too. Nevermind that one of those "men" is her husband and the father of her child. Nevermind anything all. Just do as she pleases, with no regard at all for others? Yeah, advice like this is speaks volumes about a child who calls herself a domme.

PS, I'm not defending the husband. He actually sounds like a louse. But the selfish idiocy of the statement above just made me want to scream. There are clearly some people in this world to whom we don't owe the time of day. But I think for someone on the sidelines to say about an entire gender, with no regard for the individuals involved is, well, immature to the umpteenth degree.