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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 10:58:22 AM

cloudboy

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Yes, I know, its all like some simple math equation, isn't it?

(in reply to Red82)

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 11:48:47 AM

slaveboyforyou

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Marriage is serious, and I get a little tired of people treating it like it is just something to do while you wait for someone better to come along. If being a submissive full-time is something you need, then don't get married to someone that doesn't want that. I know a lot of people think they can talk the woman they are courting into being a domme. But that is probably unlikely. It's certainly not fair to the person you are with to do this. I can't think of too many things that are more infuriating than discovering the person you love picked you, because they didn't think they could find someone better.

< Message edited by slaveboyforyou -- 5/11/2007 12:21:58 PM >

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 12:09:31 PM

LaTigresse

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Paybacks are a bitch aren't they..............

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 12:38:07 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: gloriousangel

My opiniion is this.

Marriage is about trust and honesty.

Good luck

Marriage is also often about sexual repression. I'm curious, if marriages weren't tied so closely to monogamy, would they last longer? Oftentimes, marriages are about the illusion of monogamy, and partners would rather have the illusion than the truth.

What's odd is that the OP has indicated he has a great sex with his wife but can't get it up and has ED with his Mistress. (That's kind of funny.)

Curiously, no one has said, "If your wife truly loves you, she'd give you permission to see your mistress outside of the marriage."

Whatever happened to the proponents of sexual liberation? Where is our Dan Savage figure?

Frankly, I just wish pollux would quit posting under this alias, because its just really soooooooooooo annoying!

Is that like "If you really love me, you'll have sex with me"?

And, for the record, Dan Savage scolds those kinky folk who take it too far. He had a willing spouse who was doing what she could for him. And he went behind her back. That isn't the sort of thing that Dan Savage approves of because it's exactly the sort of the thing that makes vanilla folk distrusting and unwilling to be with kinky-folk. She was GGG, he was an ass.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 5/11/2007 12:39:30 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 12:41:19 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Red82

Oh Simple! Curiously, you didnt say "If you truly loved your wife, you woulden't have sneaked around her!" There is nothing wrong with a poly marriage, but there is when the parties involved are not consenting. No communication, and he willfully hid it.

Im still not seeing any defense for it.

If I said that, I would just be repeating the common, boilerplate mantra of the majority-think, plus its already been said.

As for, "No communication, and he willfully hid it, " yes, exactly, that's otherwise known as the illusion of monogamy. Sometimes its wiser and more considerate to give your partner an illusion than it is to give them the truth. Its pretty difficult for us to judge this marital thinking from the outside.

Also, did it ever occur to you that a person may sneak around precisely because they do love their wife?

I just don't understand how people rationally can expect marriage to maintain each person's romantic and sexual needs over the course of a lifetime.

As for me, I don't believe in sexual repression, one love after marriage till death do thy part, or that I would want to tie my wife to me, and only me, forever. How exactly is that expectation "loving?" I'd argue that such an expectation is possessive and selfish.

In a marriage, though, shit breaks. If the people do love one another, they work through problems, support one another, and negotiate their own boundaries.

Who knows what will happen to the OP. I just hope he finds sexual liberation and stays married in a good relationship. Here's hoping he has the skills to pull it off!! Here's hoping that his wife can also think outside of the box.

Here is a question: If a master says "Never have sex with other men" and the slave does, is she is a good slave?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to cloudboy)

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 1:00:59 PM

KatyLied

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Has anyone yet explained how he hid the cb3000 for 15 days?

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 1:02:55 PM

Red82

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quote:

Has anyone yet explained how he hid the cb3000 for 15 days?

I think it has gone past the OP, which is starting to look kinda far-fetched, and just getting into the issue that it raised.

(in reply to KatyLied)

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 1:03:04 PM

AquaticSub

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Nope. Possibly he was on a trip. At least, that is the best explaination I can offer.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to KatyLied)

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 1:07:32 PM

shyinini

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quote:

ORIGINAL: draba

Dear Mistress's
My wife found my profile yesterday and was not very happy. She has asked me to close it and was quite polite telling me I have a choice. Either stop playing with Mistress or divorce. She has forgiven me and read my posts. She does Domme me sometimes and told me she does not want to be my Mistress all the time.
I do not know what to do about my Mistress. I really do not want to stop having sessions. Should I tell her what happened? I do think on the other hand that I should stop. And hope for the best with my wife.

Therefore, I am closing my profile and will check for responces.

Thanks, it has been fun
draba

d r a m a !!!!!!

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With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 1:09:39 PM

KatyLied

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quote:

Nope. Possibly he was on a trip. At least, that is the best explaination I can offer.

Oh, that makes sense. A little kinky get together.
I blame Cloudboy for creating this problem of the CB3000.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 1:16:52 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Nope. Possibly he was on a trip. At least, that is the best explaination I can offer.

Oh, that makes sense. A little kinky get together.
I blame Cloudboy for creating this problem of the CB3000.

I just want to know why a sub/slave has to obey all orders but somehow it's ok for them to disobey when it comes to sex. I may post a thread on it. May not.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 1:24:07 PM

amaidiamond

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Since when is it ok to disobay? Or did I miss something....

(in reply to AquaticSub)

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 1:35:17 PM

cloudboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Has anyone yet explained how he hid the cb3000 for 15 days?

No, not yet. He dissolved his profile, and only he can answer the question. What's also puzzling is how he had ED with his Mistress but still elected to wear a chastity device for her. Maybe the device contributed a sense of too much urgency and pressure when it was removed, so that he couldn't relax and get it up. (Getting older is a bitch for men, BTW.)

This thread should shoot off like a bottle rocket if his wife creates a profile and then begins to chime in.

By the way, Steve McNair was charged with DUI while only being the passenger in a vehicle. I'm trying to process that feat right now too.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 5/11/2007 1:41:41 PM >

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 2:05:11 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

By the way, Steve McNair was charged with DUI while only being the passenger in a vehicle. I'm trying to process that feat right now too.

Wow... how does that work?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to cloudboy)

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 2:07:55 PM

draba

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Some how may account is still active, altough I closed it.
Pixel, thanks for your advice. I always liked your posts. You had the most usefull advice. Yes, I wll take everyone's advice. You all are helpfull.

It was a CB 2000 and my wife was out of town. Mistress did not want me masterbating. Yes, I do have ED with my Mistress. I dunno why. It was the saving grace in my relationship with my wife. See saw that I can not use my cock out of wedlock and was relieved that I never F--- another woman. That she knows of.
Thanks again
draba

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 2:15:53 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: draba

Some how may account is still active, altough I closed it.
Pixel, thanks for your advice. I always liked your posts. You had the most usefull advice. Yes, I wll take everyone's advice. You all are helpfull.

It was a CB 2000 and my wife was out of town. Mistress did not want me masterbating. Yes, I do have ED with my Mistress. I dunno why. It was the saving grace in my relationship with my wife. See saw that I can not use my cock out of wedlock and was relieved that I never F--- another woman. That she knows of.
Thanks again
draba

Charming. Remember that part of being a sub/slave isn't always getting your way and that includes how often you have sex or scene.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 5/11/2007 2:16:17 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to draba)

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 2:25:33 PM

cloudboy

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People are funny. One poster here in the past linked Pro Domination to a service like a pedicure or a car wash. She described it as a business transaction. But here, she saw it as an intimate act that violated the sanctity of your marriage.

I happen to think that all BDSM activities are sexual as they involve trust, fantasy fulfillment, contact, and in the hetero world, a M-F dynamic.

Still, part of what makes poly work, or to use another term, marital compromise, is a lack of direct competition. Hence, the spanking, bondage, or whatever you practice with your mistress may not in fact compete with you sensuality and intercourse with your wife. This can help alleviate jealously.

Plus, once your wife understands you have certain needs she cannot meet, but which do not threaten your marriage, she might become more supportive of you provided you are respectful and tactful about what you do and when you do it. She might also want some additional freedoms for herself as well.

Anyway, to return to the POV that pro domination is a business transaction, you can argue that there's little difference between you getting sessions or taking to the golf course. I don't buy this line of reasoning b/c BDSM for me is always an intimate act, but its still a decent defense from the morality police.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 5/11/2007 2:29:28 PM >

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 2:27:42 PM

Griswold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: draba

Dear Mistress's
My wife found my profile yesterday and was not very happy. She has asked me to close it and was quite polite telling me I have a choice. Either stop playing with Mistress or divorce. She has forgiven me and read my posts. She does Domme me sometimes and told me she does not want to be my Mistress all the time.
I do not know what to do about my Mistress. I really do not want to stop having sessions. Should I tell her what happened? I do think on the other hand that I should stop. And hope for the best with my wife.

Therefore, I am closing my profile and will check for responces.

Thanks, it has been fun
draba

The weird thing is...your wife found my profile too.

(I never trusted her for a fucking second!).

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 3:19:05 PM

BreakHim4Me

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Seems to me you should tell us her ID.

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RE: wife found my profile - 5/11/2007 3:24:01 PM

KatyLied

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on Steve McNair:

http://www.baltimoresun.com/sports/football/bal-mcnair511,0,7112418.story?coll=bal-home-headlines
On late Wednesday, McNair was charged with a misdemeanor charge commonly referred to as "DUI by consent" that prohibits a vehicle owner from letting it be driven by someone who is inebriated.

We should be talking about this in the NFL thread. But anyway, with the likes of Ray Lewis on his team, a DUI charge is nothing. I'm not impressed with McNair's level of criminality.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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