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I thought you didn't like me - 5/10/2007 8:09:12 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

I was at a lifestyle gathering having lots of fun talking with a group of people. Later in the evening one girl said to me "Wow, you're soooo much different than I thought you were." I said how so? "You're really funny, down to earth and easy to get along with. You're warm and friendly and not stuck up and well.....you're not a bitch". Rather shocked I looked at her and asked her where on earth she would have gotten those impressions, had we met before? She said no, but you were pretty hard on me on a thread on collarme and well...."I thought you didn't like me". She went on to say that she was really intimidated at the thought of meeting me.

Well in all honesty, I didn't remember what she was referring to. It had been awhile ago and when I got home I looked it up. I didn't see where I was particularly hard on her....I did disagree with her opinion on something though. There were also several threads that I found where I was in agreement with her.

Do you feel that because someone disagrees with you here on collarme that they "don't like you"? Do you think that if someone else's opinion is different it's a personal thing between you and they?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

Post #: 1

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/10/2007 8:10:27 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

It depends how they deliver the message.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 2

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/10/2007 8:15:57 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

Nah...as long as there aren't any personal insults, I consider debate a helathy thing. If our opinions vary then I enjoy learning about other people's perspectives, even if they don't change mine....sometimes, rarely, but sometimes they do.

In an online forum, no, I don't really think people are making a personal judgement on me based on my thoughts...maybe they are, but I have not found that to be so in our local community.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 3

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/10/2007 8:34:18 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

I simply don't worry about it. If you like me you do, if you don't you don't...I can't change that and don't have the energy to expend to try.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to spanklette)

Post #: 4

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/10/2007 8:37:39 PM

Eruditegirl

Posts: 53
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline

It's the internet....so a few words of advice from someone I don't know or will most likely never meet...although greatly appreciated advice...and I sincerly listen/read the advice...but it doesn't affect me in a way of..."Oh they don't like me"...or "I don't like them"...that would be more on a personal level...and even then...I have to respect a person before there thoughts/opinion of me have any validity....there are 3 Doms on here whose opinions I would take on a personal level...2 because I have meet them and it has moved beyond the internet...and 1 just because he is an arrogant shit...but gives excellent advice....

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 5

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/10/2007 8:46:10 PM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

I think there are people who may have no interest in getting to know me further, based on my opinions/views/etc on the boards here, but I don't think someone who has only read a few comments on a message board can legitimately not like someone.... and if they do, then I could care less.

IMO, someone hung up on being popular online, or one who be upset to be 'un-liked' in an on-line forum likely has self-esteem issues.

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 6

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/10/2007 8:51:03 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

I think to date I've only met one person from CM first. That's been pretty cool so far.

Whether I will meet others in passing over the next months/years might have more to do with Lifestyle events than anything. Not too many people here know who I am, or what I look like. But I don't think I've done any bridge-burning by any of my posts.

I don't know of anyone I would try to avoid. In some cases, that's saying a LOT!

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 7

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/10/2007 9:28:02 PM

TheHeretic

Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline

That's why I turned in my paddles for debate purposes. I've met a few other people who are on CM, but none yet who are active in the same forums I tend to hang in. You develop an impression of other posters, but what shows up on the monitor is a pretty limited view of the whole person.

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 8

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/10/2007 9:54:18 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

I think most often someone just genuinely disagrees with another person and it doesn't mean they dont like them.

When someone disagrees with me personally, I dont sit here thinking that they must dislike me. In most cases, I would feel that they think I'm debate-worthy, in other cases someone is just hedging for an argument from someone...anyone.

In my case, those who dislike me, pretty much avoid or ignore me, which I think is the best course of action for anyone who doesnt like someone.

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 9

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/10/2007 10:14:36 PM

szobras

Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline

Do you feel that because someone disagrees with you here on collarme that they "don't like you"?
No
Do you think that if someone else's opinion is different it's a personal thing between you and they?
Not unless they make it apparent,and I accept it to be so.

< Message edited by szobras -- 5/10/2007 10:52:08 PM >

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 10

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/10/2007 10:17:12 PM

N4SDChastity

Posts: 327
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline

I've had a few people (nope, no names) come at me accusing me of being "mean," or not liking them, or haveing something personal against them, based on comments I've mde on the forums. I try to inform them that, for the most part, I try to be humorous, where I feel it's needed. Also, in those istances where I do respond in a more serious vein, it is because the topic did not easily lend itself to my brand of humor, or, my opinion was more deeply felt. Either way, just because I have a different opinion doesn't mean I hate you, quite the contrary, I'm more inclined to like people who challenge my view, and provide me with a venue to "prove" my convictions. In those instances, I do my level best to put forth my arguments (or disagreements with your arguments) in as straight-forward and dispassionate a manner as I can muster.

I like EVERYBODY... YOU'RE next!!!

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 11

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/10/2007 10:46:29 PM

HutchGarahl

Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Do you feel that because someone disagrees with you here on collarme that they "don't like you"?

No

Do you think that if someone else's opinion is different it's a personal thing between you and they?

No

Not sure how anyone can dislike someone they've never actually met. There are a few ladies here who I hold their advice in high regards because they have shown sensability and care for the people they talk to. There are a few guys here who I hold in the same manner. Although one guy seems to be a pompous ass at times, he does give great advice. Then we have the troll who tends to delight everyone. :) But normally, I don't dislike anyone till they give me reason to.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 12

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/11/2007 1:01:42 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

I can agree with a person I dislike, I can disagree with a person I like. It isn't wether we see eye to eye about certain issues but rather what their personality seems to be that determines wether I like them or not.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 13

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/11/2007 1:14:18 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

If someone disagrees with Me all it means is they have a different way of looking at things than I do.Its no big deal unless they think their way is the only way or
they insult Me personally for not thinking they are right.

I'm not here to be popular and post away until I have some cool title.

I'm here to help people through My real life experiences that I get in part by being a Pro-Domina and in part by being a Lifestyle Domina.

An added benefit is that it lets potential submissives know where I stand and quite a few have commented they like My posts.

So I'm here to stay and enjoy the benefits I get from reading posts and
meeting all the awesome submissives that I do.
Even if it doesnt work out its a learning experience and you can always use those.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 14

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/11/2007 1:21:19 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

There are a few people here that I probably wouldn't like to meet because they have shown themselves to readily resort to being spiteful to others and take things to an unnecessarily personal level. I know we wouldn't have a remotely compatible world view and life's too short to spend it arguing! However, that said, I would relish meeting most people here because they are capable of making rational replies and are interesting in sharing ideas, whether I agree with them or not has nothing to do with like or dislike.

At least the girl saw a different side of the OP anyway!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 15

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/11/2007 1:53:43 AM

Copulo

Posts: 268
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline

I think it depends on one mood. If my mood is not good then I sometimes mistake something as a personal jibe, if my mood is good then I would probably see nothing in that same post. The written word is a powerful thing as it can be read in so many different ways.
There is a huge difference between disagreeing and silly sarcasm. Disagreements lead to debate and are healthy but sarcasms can cut deeply and are often used as a form of bullying.
If we all sat here and agreed with one another then we would have very boring posts. The whole point is to get opinions. I must admit though that when the girl brigade clique come out in force to protect each other, regardless of weather they actually agree or not, I find that very shallow.
I do find the people who bitch on the boards are often very different in real life. Boards give some people a confidence that they lack in reality.
I was friends (real life) with a female that continually bitched to others on the boards. There was no rhyme nor reason for picking out her victims other than she saw them as weak and homed in on that weakness. Last year I told her to her face that I had made a decision to drop our friendship. I told her that her nasty ways on the boards (towards others) was nothing less than bullying and that I did not mix with bullies. She was very upset that I could do this, but that was her issue and not mine.

I have no qualms whatsoever when I meet someone in rl who have been nasty (not necessarily to me) on the boards, in asking them why they behave in such a way.

< Message edited by Copulo -- 5/11/2007 2:29:53 AM >

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 16

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/11/2007 4:59:59 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

Do you feel that because someone disagrees with you here on collarme that they "don't like you"?

No

Do you think that if someone else's opinion is different it's a personal thing between you and they?

No

I don't handle people with kid gloves. I figure if they are going to be so overly sensitive about mere words on the screen, how the heck are they going to deal with me (or others) in a real time situation where parties disagree. Disagreement is a very real fact of life & to think different is going to cause a great deal of grief in life.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 17

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/11/2007 5:17:44 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

If you set out to make people like you on a internet forum then you may aswell not be here as you would have nothing of importance to say.

I've pissed off many, many people but many if any will ever meet me so I may aswell say what I think no matter what harm it will cause.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 18

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/11/2007 5:20:30 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

not here to be liked, popular or part of a "clique". it doesn't matter to me whether you agree or disagree with my opinions ...i'm merely here to express my opinions, meet others and have some fun. though there are a select few i do admire and respect here on the forums.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 5/11/2007 5:21:39 AM >

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 19

RE: I thought you didn't like me - 5/11/2007 5:37:53 AM

PrincessEllie

Posts: 287
Joined: 11/30/2006
Status: offline

I try not to take anything that's said to me on the internet too hard.But sometimes when I'm ganged up on in a thread, I feel hurt and disliked. What can I say, I'm a sub! I don't like people being vexed with me.

_____________________________

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me up
Or hold me down
And bite me baby, bite me!

http://www.cafepress.com/scenedayware
--Discreet BDSM day clothes--

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 20

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