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MsSaskia -> RE: Pro-stitute? (no flames please) (11/12/2007 1:45:35 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MrThorns
quote:
ORIGINAL: MsSaskia
quote:
ORIGINAL: MrThorns
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ORIGINAL: Eldritchdancer
"If a Dominant, be they male or female, demands tribute to meet with them at all... how are they different from a prostitute/giggilo? In both cases you are giving something of value just for the pleasure of their company."
I see no difference between the two. The trade of goods, services, coin, cash, candy, car payments, chickens, goats, etc, in exchange for sexually-related services is exactly what a prostitute or giggilo does. The type of tribute is really irrelevant when being used as a means for trade.
Professionals in the BDSM sense of the word, are just bossier about how they ask for it.
(Regardless.. I'm not passing judgement on either practice. I'm just going to call it as I see it.)
~Thorns
You may not think you're passing judgement, but you are. The legal definition of prostitution includes very specific sex acts, not "sexually related services". Pro dommes do not do those acts. Calling a stripper a hooker doesn't make him or her a hooker. Calling a pro domme a hooker doesn't make her a hooker. Calling an accountant a lawyer doesn't make her a lawyer, either. Nothing wrong with any of those professions, but it'd be nice if people knew the difference.
From the UK: "Prostitution - exchanging participation in sexual activities for money or other goods..."
Would orgasm denial be a sexual activity?? Or chastity?? Sensual floggings? CBT?? Pro dommes don't participate in these sexually-related services?
From Canada: "Prostitution is the exchange of sexual favours for money or other material goods, devoid of any emotional involvement..."
And from the U.S.
"PROSTITUTION - The giving or receiving of the body for sexual activity for hire but excludes sexual activity between spouses. (Fla. Statutes '94)
Performing for hire, or offering or agreeing to perform for hire where there is an exchange of value, any of the following acts: Sexual intercourse; sodomy, or; manual or other bodily contact stimulation of the genitals of any person with the intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desires of the offender or another.(Kansas Statutes '95)
The common lewdness of a woman for gain. "
If I am paying my accountant for sexual favors, I wouldn't call her an accountant either... but it's an interesting argument. I mean, if a prostitute takes money, tribute or widgets and yet she is not sexually satisfying, or fails to perform sexual acts (but is really good about giving back exact change and keeps good books)... perhaps I could call her an accountant?
And I'm still not passing judgement about any sex worker or how they choose to practice their craft.
~Thorns
I think you'll be hard-pressed to find any law dictionary that defines flogging, caning and the like a sex act. Sex acts involve genitals with genitals or anus and genitals or anus with mouths. Pro dommes don't do those things in sessions. We, unlike you, are very clear on exactly what the law states, particularly in our own states and cities, and are scrupulous about sticking to that so we can stay in business. Police are very clear on this, too, and do not target pro dommes because they are clear on our job descriptions. They test everyone out to see if any of us are willing to bend the rules a bit, keep an eye on those that are to be sure they aren't becoming a public nuisance and leave alone the ones that don't bend the rules. If no sex acts are being performed by their own legal definition, there is no cause for arrest or prosecution. It's good enough for the legal system, but clearly not good enough for you. Perhaps your next step should be lobbying your Congressional representative to get those laws changed so people like me know our place a little better.
BDSM is not all about sex. Sex is a small part of it and no, it is not standard operating procedure that the client gets his rocks off/achieves orgasm with a pro domme. Believe it or not, clients come to see pro dommes for the same reason other people in the scene play: to test their limits and to get into subspace. They are not expecting sexual gratification. If they want that, we refer them to prostitutes. The lifestyle clubs I go to forbid fucking or oral. They stay legal that way, too, and they stay in business because club members understand that BDSM isn't about sex acts.
That whole "I got no problem with prostitutes, and I don't care what you say, you're a hooker" is ridiculous and transparent. You want to reduce what we do to sex acts, whether we're performing sex acts or not. The idea that couples might come to us to learn to play with each other, or that crossdressers might need a non-judgmental place to go to learn to be more passable, or that someone just needs to be beaten til they fly sounds a little too much like what everyone else in the scene does. We're good enough at it and we love it enough that we devote ourselves to it 24/7, and a lot of lifestylers resent that and try to find reasons to pick at it. Whatever. Knock yourself out. Continuing to spread misinformation about what pro dommes do might comfort you somehow, but it's weak as hell.
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