question to young subs and slaves (Full Version)

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mercmjm -> question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 6:52:34 AM)

I would like to know why I see so many subs and slaves, particulary female, go after doms who are atleast 5 years older than them and not male doms their own age?  Also for the ones who are bi, why would they go after a domme who is their age but will only go for a dom who is atleast 5 years older than them?  Also do not tell me becuase of maturity, I have worked in corporations such as readers digest, a fortune 500 company that i will  not name, and various other companys that have people ranging from 25-70 and generally there are really not that mature or much more mature than me, atleast the ones who do not have kids anyways



drawntothedark -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 6:56:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

Also do not tell me becuase of maturity,


I'm not a young one, but I was one at one time.

Why can't the girls put down maturity? It's a reason most will give. You may have diffrent views on what age has to do with the subject, but it doesn't mean the girls do.

It's a prefrence.

Would you want a submissive who is let's say 15 years older than you? If not why is that?



mercmjm -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 7:01:02 AM)

well first, I should clarify.  It is not a bad thing if you look for both your age and older, but girls who only look for older.  Let's be honest, someone who is 15 or 20 years older than you, there really cannot be a relationship.  A long term one atleast.  I mean you could play with them or be trained but any form of complete lifetime ownership cannot really be done if you really analyze it.  Now to answer your question about would I take on a sub who is 15 years older than me.  Would I play with her? possibly.  Would we just do something used for training purposes? possibly.  But would I go as far as complete ownership or a real relationship other than basically friends or a regular mentor, no. 



drawntothedark -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 7:13:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

Let's be honest, someone who is 15 or 20 years older than you, there really cannot be a relationship.  A long term one atleast. 


It's not a bad thing to look only for older either. It's their prefrence.

Why can't a person who is in a relationship with someone much older have a "real" relationship? Michael Douglas and Catherin Zeta Jones did well with theirs. It was not uncommon for Roman men to marry much younger woman. So I don't understand your thinking.

However, if you want to know what younger subs think on this subject, then do a search on the forums. This is a very old question. :)

Good luck to you.

BTW I used to be one of the "only a older man will do" girls. My Dom is 4 months younger than me. It was an issue for me until I really got to know him. Now I don't see our age at all. So just be patient. There is someone out there for us all.



KatyLied -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 7:13:32 AM)

quote:

Let's be honest, someone who is 15 or 20 years older than you, there really cannot be a relationship. 


What?  Some people perfer a relationship with someone much older.
Just because it doesn't suit your preferences doesn't mean it's an impossibility.  Just because you can't think it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, and is successful for others.
It sounds like you have sour grapes from being rejected.



mercmjm -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 7:15:41 AM)

but now why would some want older men but would also have a domme who is their own age?  does that really make sense?



drawntothedark -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 7:16:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

but now why would some want older men but would also have a domme who is their own age?  does that really make sense?


To me it does. But like I said, you could do a search and find your answers. Believe me, someone starts a thread about this same subject once a month.



KatyLied -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 7:18:57 AM)

Yes, why can't you wrap your mind around people having preferences for certain things.
Some girls like older men because they want guidance, to be taken care of, also they like the idea of taking care of another as he ages.  Maybe they want a domme as a friend too, someone to hang out with, someone to provide a need that their dom doesn't.  If it works for them, good for them.



mercmjm -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 7:20:26 AM)

oh ya I know that there are tons of people my age who ask the same question, dom or sub.  Just a curiousity thats all and an annoyance thats all



windchymes -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 8:16:12 AM)

Kinda goes along with all those older doms who are looking for "younger" subs.



ownedgirlie -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 8:17:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

well first, I should clarify.  It is not a bad thing if you look for both your age and older, but girls who only look for older.  Let's be honest, someone who is 15 or 20 years older than you, there really cannot be a relationship.  A long term one atleast.  I mean you could play with them or be trained but any form of complete lifetime ownership cannot really be done if you really analyze it. 


I don't really need to analyze it, as I am living it - 3 years now (unless that is still considered short term) with a Master 17 years my senior.  I didn't set out for someone older than me to this degree, it just happened that way.  I have always been with men older and wiser than me, though.  I had a husband for nearly 20 years who is 6 years older.  Is that long term?  [:D]




marieToo -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 9:00:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

I would like to know why I see so many subs and slaves, particulary female, go after doms who are atleast 5 years older than them and not male doms their own age?  Also for the ones who are bi, why would they go after a domme who is their age but will only go for a dom who is atleast 5 years older than them?  Also do not tell me becuase of maturity, I have worked in corporations such as readers digest, a fortune 500 company that i will  not name, and various other companys that have people ranging from 25-70 and generally there are really not that mature or much more mature than me, atleast the ones who do not have kids anyways


I think some of those girls prefer a father-figure type.  However 5 years older isn't really a big enough difference for the father-figure thing to apply.  Maybe it's just coincidental?  Or maybe they just like men who are older than they are,  the same as some men like younger girls exclusively.  

I have mostly been drawn to men who were older than myself as well.  Maybe its a wisdom thing or an experience thing.  My ex husband is 7 years older than myself and the dominant males I have been involved with were anywhere from 5-12 years older than myself.  I used to swear I'd never even consider submitting to someone under the age of 40.  And then sometimes life throws you an exception to your own rule (in spades, even).  

If I were you, I wouldnt focus on this as if it is an obstacle in your search.  It sounds like you are convinced that this is the way it is with everyone. When you impress the right girl and she you, it probably won't make a difference what ages you are.  Dont get stuck in the mindset that you aren't wanted because of your age. 

Also, just because something isnt going to last forever because your partner is old enough to be your father or mother, doesn't mean it can't be a significant relationship in your life. 

Good luck to you. :)



littleone35 -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 9:03:13 AM)

I don't understand what you mean you can't see a lifetime ownership with an ollder man and younger sub?  My Master is more then 15 years older than me and we have been together for15 months and still going strong.  Sounds like you had a bad experience.  I have always like older men.  Older man (at least the ones i have known) have patience experience and are very much gentlemen.  Of course they are also kinky and fun.  As for Dommes i don't know any my age or othersise.

Matt's littleone



MsOpal -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 9:13:05 AM)

Why does this bother you so much?  Are you as curious about why some people look only for a specific race, or hair color?  There are always things we look for, things we desire.  Relax and enjoy the diversities in all facets of life.  



slaveluci -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:11:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

Let's be honest, someone who is 15 or 20 years older than you, there really cannot be a relationship.  A long term one atleast.  I mean you could play with them or be trained but any form of complete lifetime ownership cannot really be done if you really analyze it. 
[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m20.gif[/image]...what?  Guess i'd better alert my Master that since He's 60 and i'm 34 (a 26 yr. difference), we really don't have a relationship - at least not a long term one.  i mean, W/we can play and He can train me but now i'm gonna have to look for another.  WTF?  What in the world are you talking about?  "Cannot be a relationship?"  i'm curious just how you do "analyze it."  W/we have the best relationship together that either of U/us has EVER had and W/we're in it for life.  "Complete lifetime ownership" is indeed the reality.  Bless your heart, i don't take any offense at what you said because it obviously comes from a place of having no clue about such relationships.  Let me make you aware, though, that there CAN be a long-term relationship and it CAN be wonderful.  i have never been attracted to men my age or younger and it does have to do with maturity for me.  That and sheer life experience.  i want someone that can offer sage advice and guidance they have garnered from personal experience......slave luci



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:30:12 AM)

i'm not younger however i do get younger doms looking at my profile even while it states the obvious that they're looking for a submissive close and/or near their age. i wouldn't want to have a younger dom because we would have nothing in common including what i want out of a relationship. i get suspicious when i read a profile claims he's been in the lifestyle for several of years or more.

if i was a younger submissive, i would be seeking someone who is older, wiser and maturer than those within my age group because i view the younger dom as a guy looking for his sexual kink satisfied or play partner to add a notch on the bedpost. who knows if the younger dom is serious about being in a committed relationship or not but at least with an older i will know what he wants and expects out of a relationship.



mercmjm -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:31:22 AM)

Here is the reason why simply it just cannot work.  5-10 years, yes it can work out fine.  But a 20 yr age difference, come on now that is like your father there.  Also lets forget about the different stages life.  People die.  So lets say you are 25 and you have a 45 year old dom.  The life expentancy is between 65-75.  So lets just say 70 for all intentive purposes that odds are he will die around 70.  So now you are 50, do you really want to be a widower at age 50?  Also now lets say you want to have kids.  Odds are again you will not have kids within the first 2 or 3 years that you are together, atleats intentionally.  So lets say you are about 29 when you want to have kids, that means he will be 49.  So you will be 30 when the kid is born, and he will be 50.  That is only if you want one kid, i mean the guy will be a senior citizen with 1 or 2 or 3 kids.  Does not matter if it is bdsm or vanilla, you cannot be as good of a father to a 5 or a 10 year old as a guy who is in his 30s can be.  If you think about it you know I am right.  Just so you all know, I am not bashing senior citizens.  Now yes I am aware that there are a few out there who have all this energy when they are in their 50s and 60s, but when you are in your 60s, are you still going to be wanting to run around and chasing after kids and wanting to play football or baseball with them 4-5 days a week plus all the other things you have to do while being a parent?



BoiJen -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:32:48 AM)

Okay to the original poster...you're viewing this from your perspective of life. We don't all view maturity as social or finacial success. Some view it as personal happiness and a wide range of what maturity IS. As for me...well I'ma dyke. I'm 21. I'm involved as the secondary to a Domme who's 38 and her guy who's 40. I don't feel less or limited. I didn't actively seek them out because of their age or anything really. Their energy caught my eye more than anything and it just happened. Some people plan on having that older relationship.

And really what it sounds like is that you're 22 and having a hard time finding a girl who's your age who wants to play with you. So don't go bitching about why girls are looking at older men when this kind of complaining and accusitory behaviour is exactly why they don't want to be involved. Seriously address your apporach and you might see somethings change for you.



BoiJen -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:34:20 AM)

and D/s relationships aren't all romance and fluff. It's not all about finding the next parent to your child. That's a tad narrow view to see things.



AquaticSub -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:34:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

I would like to know why I see so many subs and slaves, particulary female, go after doms who are atleast 5 years older than them and not male doms their own age?  Also for the ones who are bi, why would they go after a domme who is their age but will only go for a dom who is atleast 5 years older than them?  Also do not tell me becuase of maturity, I have worked in corporations such as readers digest, a fortune 500 company that i will  not name, and various other companys that have people ranging from 25-70 and generally there are really not that mature or much more mature than me, atleast the ones who do not have kids anyways


Because a fair amount of women look at the males around their own age and only see boys, whereas they would like a man. I consider myself fortunate to live in an area where, for whatever reason, I have encountered plenty of men my own age.

Besides... some males just look hotter older. If we are going by looks alone, I'd have the Harrison Ford 35 year old type over the 25 male model type.



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