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But a 20 yr age difference, come on now that is like your father there.

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So now you are 50, do you really want to be a widower at age 50?

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Odds are again you will not have kids within the first 2 or 3 years that you are together, atleats intentionally.

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl


Ditto to Aquatic about older men being attractive also. I have never seen anything sexy about a 25yr old. They look like little college boys! Now a man in his late 30's can make me drool....

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ORIGINAL: mercmjm

well first, I should clarify.  It is not a bad thing if you look for both your age and older, but girls who only look for older.  Let's be honest, someone who is 15 or 20 years older than you, there really cannot be a relationship.  A long term one atleast.  I mean you could play with them or be trained but any form of complete lifetime ownership cannot really be done if you really analyze it. 

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ORIGINAL: BondageTopJere

OP is probably going to flame me for this one but.

To everyone whos wondering what the point of the OP was, its frustration pure and simple.  Quite frankly, if your a normal by most accounts 20 something and you identify as a Dom, you quite simply screwed to getting someone your own age, period and end of story. There are few who can manage to attract a sub around thier own age or younger in the mid 20's but thats far and few in between, and usually possess a mugh higher than average looks and stability than the average.

So I hate to say it, but to the OP, simply accept the fact that its going to be extremely difficult to have a relationship, especially any sort of 24/7, until you hit your late 20's at the earliest, and deal with it. Most subs don't care about age, they look at stability, maturity, and experience, qualities that older men almost invariably have more of than a comparable younger one. I'd say maybe about 1 out of 5-7 sub look at age first, so thems mighty hefty odds to go up against.

If it sounds like I'm being a d***head, so be it.  I'm trying to save you uncountable hours of frustration your going to experience by limiting yourself to women who already know their subs.  For what it's worth, go date vanilla girls and if you don't manage to grow your own by the time you hit 28 or 29, then start going after the already out there subs.

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You had me there till that last part... It is not the smartest of ideas to go about trying to convert a venilla into a sub, Im sorry but that is more futile and more frustrateing then dateing in your own interest area. It seems to me like a total waist of time to perposfully go dateing in the venilla community with the idea that he will convert one of them, and I find you rather imeture for planting that idea in his head at all.

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ORIGINAL: mercmjm

Here is the reason why simply it just cannot work.  5-10 years, yes it can work out fine.  But a 20 yr age difference, come on now that is like your father there.  Also lets forget about the different stages life.  People die.  So lets say you are 25 and you have a 45 year old dom.  The life expentancy is between 65-75.  So lets just say 70 for all intentive purposes that odds are he will die around 70.  So now you are 50, do you really want to be a widower at age 50?  Also now lets say you want to have kids.  Odds are again you will not have kids within the first 2 or 3 years that you are together, atleats intentionally.  So lets say you are about 29 when you want to have kids, that means he will be 49.  So you will be 30 when the kid is born, and he will be 50.  That is only if you want one kid, i mean the guy will be a senior citizen with 1 or 2 or 3 kids.  Does not matter if it is bdsm or vanilla, you cannot be as good of a father to a 5 or a 10 year old as a guy who is in his 30s can be.  If you think about it you know I am right.  Just so you all know, I am not bashing senior citizens.  Now yes I am aware that there are a few out there who have all this energy when they are in their 50s and 60s, but when you are in your 60s, are you still going to be wanting to run around and chasing after kids and wanting to play football or baseball with them 4-5 days a week plus all the other things you have to do while being a parent?

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ORIGINAL: mercmjm

Here is the reason why simply it just cannot work.  5-10 years, yes it can work out fine.  But a 20 yr age difference, come on now that is like your father there.  Also lets forget about the different stages life.  People die.  So lets say you are 25 and you have a 45 year old dom.  The life expentancy is between 65-75.  So lets just say 70 for all intentive purposes that odds are he will die around 70.  So now you are 50, do you really want to be a widower at age 50?  Also now lets say you want to have kids.  Odds are again you will not have kids within the first 2 or 3 years that you are together, atleats intentionally.  So lets say you are about 29 when you want to have kids, that means he will be 49.  So you will be 30 when the kid is born, and he will be 50.  That is only if you want one kid, i mean the guy will be a senior citizen with 1 or 2 or 3 kids.  Does not matter if it is bdsm or vanilla, you cannot be as good of a father to a 5 or a 10 year old as a guy who is in his 30s can be.  If you think about it you know I am right.  Just so you all know, I am not bashing senior citizens.  Now yes I am aware that there are a few out there who have all this energy when they are in their 50s and 60s, but when you are in your 60s, are you still going to be wanting to run around and chasing after kids and wanting to play football or baseball with them 4-5 days a week plus all the other things you have to do while being a parent?

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ORIGINAL: haysup

You sound prejudiced against an age difference in relationships in general, not simply in BDSM.
My parents are not only 20 years apart in age, they did not speak the same language when they met. (My mother is Dominican and my father is Yugoslavian.)
Yet here we are now, my father is 70 years old with a youngest son who is 14, and we are all doing fine, thanks. My father is also a superintendent and undertakes regular hard physical labor. "Senior citizens" are not the frail untouchable blossoms you imagine.
Consider how the comments you make may be offensive to those who live the reality you deride as impossible.

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ORIGINAL: BondageTopJere


If it sounds like I'm being a d***head, so be it.  I'm trying to save you uncountable hours of frustration your going to experience by limiting yourself to women who already know their subs.  For what it's worth, go date vanilla girls and if you don't manage to grow your own by the time you hit 28 or 29, then start going after the already out there subs.