RE: question to young subs and slaves

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AquaticSub -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:35:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mercmjm Here is the reason why simply it just cannot work. 5-10 years, yes it can work out fine. But a 20 yr age difference, come on now that is like your father there. Also lets forget about the different stages life. People die. So lets say you are 25 and you have a 45 year old dom. The life expentancy is between 65-75. So lets just say 70 for all intentive purposes that odds are he will die around 70. So now you are 50, do you really want to be a widower at age 50? Also now lets say you want to have kids. Odds are again you will not have kids within the first 2 or 3 years that you are together, atleats intentionally. So lets say you are about 29 when you want to have kids, that means he will be 49. So you will be 30 when the kid is born, and he will be 50. That is only if you want one kid, i mean the guy will be a senior citizen with 1 or 2 or 3 kids. Does not matter if it is bdsm or vanilla, you cannot be as good of a father to a 5 or a 10 year old as a guy who is in his 30s can be. If you think about it you know I am right. Just so you all know, I am not bashing senior citizens. Now yes I am aware that there are a few out there who have all this energy when they are in their 50s and 60s, but when you are in your 60s, are you still going to be wanting to run around and chasing after kids and wanting to play football or baseball with them 4-5 days a week plus all the other things you have to do while being a parent? Actually it can work, it does work and it has worked. I don't recamend huge age differences but it can work if both parties are committed to it. I firmly believe that a successful marriage is 75 percent commitment.

AquaticSub -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:37:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen and D/s relationships aren't all romance and fluff. It's not all about finding the next parent to your child. That's a tad narrow view to see things. This is true! Some subs aren't looking to have children at all but are looking for a fit dominant to serve.

Sub03 -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:42:28 AM)
I'll let my Master of the past 14 months know that we dont have a real relationship because he is older then me. I am 22 and he is 55. Me and Master have the best relationship that either of us has ever had. 14 months and still going strong as ever. Actually talking about getting married. The reason I look for older guys is maturity, they are past the stupidity stage of younger guys. No offense meant but I just dont get along with guys my own age. Plus older guys usually have their lives together, a home of their own, a steady job, and the means to take care of a sub/slave. Not to mention that they have been through life and have the knowledge and life experiences to lead me in the right direction.

gooddogbenji -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:42:34 AM)
Can I be the first one to call the OP a tool? PLEASE??? Pretty please? YAY!!! OP: You are a tool. Why? Because people can choose who they want to be in a relationship with, regardless of your opinion of it. Are you one of those guys who writes the ladies messages how you would be better for them? Yours (well, not yours, but I always say it), benji

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:43:45 AM)
for a 22yr old, you are certainly paranoid, young man, worrying about growing old and dying. please show which BDSM bible that states we submissives have to be with Doms close or near our age. i wouldn't mind if Daddy was the same age as my father - it would make the role even more special than the 7yr difference we have now. age is just a number and yes people do die everyday including those in your age group however you're too busy focusing on the age aspect of a D/s dynamic. if the submissive is happy being with a Dom who is 15 to 20yrs older than her, that's her preference like i'm sure it's you're preference to find someone who is younger than 22.

AquaticSub -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:43:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji Are you one of those guys who writes the ladies messages how you would be better for them? Yours (well, not yours, but I always say it), benji I love getting those letters. Really I do. It gives me a chance to practice my aim.

slaveluci -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:45:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mercmjm Here is the reason why simply it just cannot work Oh boy...this is gonna be good...i'm all ears[;)] 5-10 years, yes it can work out fine. But a 20 yr age difference, come on now that is like your father there Well, more like my "Daddy" but...yeah, that's a GOOD thing Also lets forget about the different stages life. People die Yes...at all ages....i could get hit by a bus tomorrow. That's not a good argument. If i sit around and worry that He's going to die before me, what quality of life would W/we have? Yes, He may very well do so but it's not how many years W/we have, it's the quality of the ones W/we'll share. Also now lets say you want to have kids Nope, never have, never will...next point? Oh, there is no next point. Please don't tell me that is your well-thought-out analysis of why a 20 year age difference in a relationship won't work. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m18.gif[/image] For Master and i, it works wonderfully. His children are all grown - my age and older. i never wanted any and He wants no more. W/we are perfect for each other and yes W/we realize, chances are, He will die first - maybe. But, if He does, W/we will have had the wonderful time together and i will have beautiful memories. Am i going to deny either of U/us that just because He MIGHT die first? No way. i'll enjoy every second i have with Him until that day[:)]..........slave luci

leatherorlace -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:48:31 AM)
you really haven't lived and observed for very long have you? It's entirely possible that the passing seasons will imprint your mind with real observations if you ever defeat your NEED to whine and snivel. Gentry quote: ORIGINAL: mercmjm Here is the reason why simply it just cannot work. 5-10 years, yes it can work out fine. But a 20 yr age difference, come on now that is like your father there. Also lets forget about the different stages life. People die. So lets say you are 25 and you have a 45 year old dom. The life expentancy is between 65-75. So lets just say 70 for all intentive purposes that odds are he will die around 70. So now you are 50, do you really want to be a widower at age 50? Also now lets say you want to have kids. Odds are again you will not have kids within the first 2 or 3 years that you are together, atleats intentionally. So lets say you are about 29 when you want to have kids, that means he will be 49. So you will be 30 when the kid is born, and he will be 50. That is only if you want one kid, i mean the guy will be a senior citizen with 1 or 2 or 3 kids. Does not matter if it is bdsm or vanilla, you cannot be as good of a father to a 5 or a 10 year old as a guy who is in his 30s can be. If you think about it you know I am right. Just so you all know, I am not bashing senior citizens. Now yes I am aware that there are a few out there who have all this energy when they are in their 50s and 60s, but when you are in your 60s, are you still going to be wanting to run around and chasing after kids and wanting to play football or baseball with them 4-5 days a week plus all the other things you have to do while being a parent?

smilingjaguar -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:48:49 AM)
Take a long, hard look at the attitude and (lack of) thoughts you have expressed on this thread, and you sum up why I am married and collared by a man 6 years my senior.

astarri -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:56:52 AM)
Actually this isn't so much BDSM related as it is generally accepted that women tend to be more attracted to men between 6-8 years their senior. (first year psych student haha) but they have done studies that support this fact. Now i am not saying that no one ever deviates from this sexual preference ...just stating that it exists within human sexuality. Now had you asked why many women are attracted to Dominant men twenty years their senior perhaps would be more relevant.

Mercnbeth -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 10:59:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mercmjm I would like to know why I see so many subs and slaves, particulary female, go after doms who are atleast 5 years older than them and not male doms their own age? this slave limited the computer programs auto-connector to NOT connect this slave automatically to anyone her age at the time or younger because of past experiences as well as personal preference. this slave also didn't "go after" anyone, and didn't advertise as slave or even looking to be one. she put her profile out there, and browsed responses as well as the computer generated match-ups, for people who might be compatible with this slave for friendship/S&M, keeping an open mind that we might grow on each other. we are 11 (chronological) years apart in our present incarnations, regardless of how "young" or "old" we feel from time to time.

junecleaver -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 11:04:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mercmjm I would like to know why I see so many subs and slaves, particulary female, go after doms who are atleast 5 years older than them and not male doms their own age? Also for the ones who are bi, why would they go after a domme who is their age but will only go for a dom who is atleast 5 years older than them? Also do not tell me becuase of maturity, I have worked in corporations such as readers digest, a fortune 500 company that i will not name, and various other companys that have people ranging from 25-70 and generally there are really not that mature or much more mature than me, atleast the ones who do not have kids anyways It's simple really: the older guys get the hotter they become. ;) Some girls are looking for a Daddy type and it's easier to call you Daddy, when you're old enough to be my father. Actually, I am dating a man your age. He's the youngest I've ever dated. But as I tell him all the time, he acts like he's thrity. He's already has a well-established IT career, is financially stable, and ready to accept the responsiblity of owning another person.

slaveluci -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 11:07:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji Can I be the first one to call the OP a tool? PLEASE??? Pretty please? YAY!!! OP: You are a tool. benji Awwwww, come on. Don't call the young'n a "tool."[:)] He's just a bit unable to comprehend why anyone would desire someone much older. Hopefully, after reading all the responses, he'll come to a better understanding.............slave luci

softness -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 11:17:46 AM)
looks at the OP ... i am your age ... and your post is exactly the reason why i would reply to a man 20 years older than myself before i would reply to you at 23 i am still a girl ... not yet a woman - insert bab bar singing here! - i need to be with a MAN of wisdom, understanding maturity and experience ... though i would not limit myself to a particular age bracket but i know i am MUCH MORE LIKELY to find what i need in a man in (for example) the 30-45 bracket rather than the 19-29 one. does not think it is a question of age ... last year a played a little with a Dom who was 21 at the time ( a year younger than i was) ... and he was awesome in his insight and maturity for one so young and relatively inexperienced. Now the time was not right for us to build into a more long term dynamic but i would have gone to him had the opportunity been there because he had the strength of character to hold me in safety, love and submission even at our young age.

Pezzle -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 11:47:28 AM)
Yeah. I have unfortunately faced the reality that he will die before me. It's a hard thing to face. However, I do not detatch love from D/s and he is who I feel I truly love. I don't wish to get into a debate on whether or not I actually love him, I'm just trusting my gut.

aurora31 -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 12:03:33 PM)
I have to laugh at the being a widow at 50, we can die at any time and if my Sir based his decision to let me serve based on that fact that I might die before him I would not have the honor of serving him. As I have posted before I have an incurable form of cancer my life expectancy is 14 to 36 months from time of diagnoses. That was 7 months ago. Yet my Sir looked past that at who I was as a person and my potential as a slave. That was probably one of the biggest things that influenced my decision to serve him, his willingness to look past my health and the fact that treatments I will eventually under go in order to extend my life as much as possible and hopefully be one of the first ones to actually beat it. To me this says tons about who he is and about his strength of character. These treatments will make me very sick and also will require me to travel to Bethesda, Maryland every three weeks for 4 to 5 days at a time to recieve them. Yet despite all of this he allows me to serve him. He gives me his all, works with me on growing in my submission and service to him holding nothing back. These are all things I was looking for in a potential partner. These characteristics usually come with age and maturity. I never refused to look at some one based on age alone. I looked at who they were as a person. Did they have the life experience and wisdom to guide me and teach me. These characteristics are hard to find in men my own age. We all know that in general that women mature faster then men perhaps another reason why it is easier for me to find females who were my age who could provide these things. Just my thoughts here. I know for myself that I look at who some one is, not an age or the package on the outside. But for me for the most part I found the qualities I was looking for only existed in men several yrs older then me. aurora

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 12:38:51 PM)
Actually some of use just have a preference for older men and women. It's just my thing.

KatyLied -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 1:05:10 PM)
quote: But a 20 yr age difference, come on now that is like your father there. Also lets forget about the different stages life. People die. Your argument doesn't make sense. Some women like a father-figure in their lives. And anyone can die at anytime. There are many causes of death that have nothing to do with age. You or I could become a fatality tomorrow. There are no guarantees in life.

GeekyGirl -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 2:04:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mercmjm I would like to know why I see so many subs and slaves, particulary female, go after doms who are atleast 5 years older than them and not male doms their own age? Also for the ones who are bi, why would they go after a domme who is their age but will only go for a dom who is atleast 5 years older than them? Also do not tell me becuase of maturity, I have worked in corporations such as readers digest, a fortune 500 company that i will not name, and various other companys that have people ranging from 25-70 and generally there are really not that mature or much more mature than me, atleast the ones who do not have kids anyways As a general rule, with age comes wisdom. If he's going to lead me, he'll have to have more wisdom than I am. While we all know older men who are immature and foolish, as a general rule, the older a man gets the more life experience he has. I want him to have signficantly more knowledge and experience so he can effectively lead me. Why in the world are you talking about kids? What does that have to do with maturity? I don't have kids and am not physically capable of having them anymore.Does that mean I am lacking in maturity? Having kids doesn't "grow you up" in some magical way. I've met plenty of immature, childed people. I like having a daddy figure and I prefer someone 10-15yrs older.

GeekyGirl -> RE: question to young subs and slaves (5/11/2007 2:07:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mercmjm well first, I should clarify. It is not a bad thing if you look for both your age and older, but girls who only look for older. Let's be honest, someone who is 15 or 20 years older than you, there really cannot be a relationship. A long term one atleast. Tell this to my great-aunt who just lost her husband of 30 years who was 35yrs older than she was.

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