RE: Constructive Ideas Needed

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DarkDreams123 -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 6:14:29 AM)
Well, velvetears, why are we on here at all? I doubt that our motives are quite so pure that entertainment isn't somewhat of a factor. I do understand what you are saying about a kind of clique. Not only does this clique tend to post on the same threads together, but they also tend to congratulate one another as they disparage the OP. Isn't this just really human nature? You know, even though we are adults now, we are still the same person that we were as a child. Perhaps more sophisticated, perhaps wiser (hopefully), but deep down we still have the same needs we have always had: a need for approval, attention, a sense of belonging. I think CollarMe is a venue for getting some these needs met (I would hope we all have other venues as well!). It's a social club: with all of the good points and bad points that entails. I think you make a good point that it should at least be a clean debate: no name calling, character assination, etc. The debate should center around the ideas being presented and not the personalities. I appreciate the ideas of lighthearted in the sense of being more thoughtful about my replies and limiting the volume. -DarkDreams

velvetears -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 10:58:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkDreams123 Well, velvetears, why are we on here at all? I doubt that our motives are quite so pure that entertainment isn't somewhat of a factor. I do understand what you are saying about a kind of clique. Not only does this clique tend to post on the same threads together, but they also tend to congratulate one another as they disparage the OP. Isn't this just really human nature? You know, even though we are adults now, we are still the same person that we were as a child. Perhaps more sophisticated, perhaps wiser (hopefully), but deep down we still have the same needs we have always had: a need for approval, attention, a sense of belonging. I think CollarMe is a venue for getting some these needs met (I would hope we all have other venues as well!). It's a social club: with all of the good points and bad points that entails. I think you make a good point that it should at least be a clean debate: no name calling, character assination, etc. The debate should center around the ideas being presented and not the personalities. I appreciate the ideas of lighthearted in the sense of being more thoughtful about my replies and limiting the volume. -DarkDreams i have no issue with seeking entertainment - or whatever motive brings you here. i just don't see being cruel to others and enjoying it as entertainment. i guess some do - oh well. Many do have a need for approval, attention, and a sense of belonging - i guess those drama mongers feel a sense of belonging when they get with their clique and do their thing - odd way to go about feeling you belong - i would rather feel it in a more positive way. i don't agree we are the same people we were as a child - maturity changes people, hopefully for the better [:)]

happypervert -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 10:58:49 AM)
quote: i just dislike hypocracy. Oh really? Looks to me like you're getting on your high horse and pointing fingers at the clique because they get on their high horses and point fingers at the drama whores. You've done nothing constructive here at all, and that make you a hypocrite too. Welcome to the club!

popeye1250 -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 10:59:59 AM)
"Cum-bay-yah, cum-bay-yah."

velvetears -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 11:19:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: happypervert quote: i just dislike hypocracy. Oh really? Looks to me like you're getting on your high horse and pointing fingers at the clique because they get on their high horses and point fingers at the drama whores. You've done nothing constructive here at all, and that make you a hypocrite too. Welcome to the club! Look up the definition - it's saying one thing and doing something differently - which i haven't done. Perhaps you feel i have done nothing constructive, that's your opinion and how you have seen this thread go. Other's will have a different perspective.

swtnsparkling -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 12:07:03 PM)
quote: Looks to me like you're getting on your high horse and pointing fingers at the clique because they get on their high horses and point fingers at the drama whores. The cliques ARE the drama whores.

lovetokissnylons -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 12:09:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz minnetar, I did not see any names specifically mentioned. Velvet, No matter what is said here, people are going to behave the way they choose. If I were you, I wouldn't focus on the why, instead, I would simply not focus my attention to behaviors that were bothersome. If that's not naming names, then what IS ? I specifically see 2 names mentioned in your post ! (just kidding, Domin8tingUrDrmz. Seems to me there's a lot of wisdom in this thread, both in Velvet's comments and in yours and in others here, too). Good thread !

astarri -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 12:21:15 PM)
i watch, while having dinner in a nice restaurant, a man be arrongant and rude and condescending to the waitress. These behaviours speak loudly ...everyone has a little mean streak inside of them ... it is merely a matter of controlling it.

velvetears -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 12:30:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling quote: Looks to me like you're getting on your high horse and pointing fingers at the clique because they get on their high horses and point fingers at the drama whores. The cliques ARE the drama whores. my point exactly swtnsparkling, thanks!

velvetears -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 12:32:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: astarri i watch, while having dinner in a nice restaurant, a man be arrongant and rude and condescending to the waitress. These behaviours speak loudly ...everyone has a little mean streak inside of them ... it is merely a matter of controlling it. i agree astarri, that to me is what being a mature adult is all about. Children have a very difficult time controling their emotions and how they react... in time and with proper upbringing they learn what's appropriate to say and what's not.

KatyLied -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 12:58:25 PM)
quote: quote: hypocracy. Look up the definition - Word not found!

gypsygrl -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 1:27:14 PM)
hy·poc·ri·sy 1.a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess. 2.a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude. I dunno. Its not quite the same as saying one thing and doing another. The definition seems to have more to do with putting forth the pretense of virtue, so its a bit more precise. One thing I've always liked about the called "cliques" in question (I'm assuming we're all talking about the same thing) is that I see no pretense.

popeye1250 -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 1:52:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl hy·poc·ri·sy 1.a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess. 2.a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude. I dunno. Its not quite the same as saying one thing and doing another. The definition seems to have more to do with putting forth the pretense of virtue, so its a bit more precise. One thing I've always liked about the called "cliques" in question (I'm assuming we're all talking about the same thing) is that I see no pretense. Gypsey, gee, that sounds like Bill Clinton! Remember him comming out of church every sunday morning with that bible in his left arm held up high to his chest so everyone could see it? lol And behind the scenes he's boinking that fat tart Monica. Hey! No-one's invited ME to be in their clique yet! What gives?

ICGsteve -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 2:34:15 PM)
The innocent getting played with as entertainment is a problem, and I suspect that the experience is sometime traumatic for the OP, but the only solution is to have heavy handed Mods. The cure is worse than the problem. I think that most of the time all are willing participants in the entertainment experience, and then there is no problem at all.

slaveluci -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 2:41:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: popeye1250 Hey! No-one's invited ME to be in their clique yet! What gives? No clique can hold you[;)]. You're too funny and independent-thinking to be part of a throng....luci

velvetears -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 3:09:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl hy·poc·ri·sy 1.a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess. 2.a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude. I dunno. Its not quite the same as saying one thing and doing another. The definition seems to have more to do with putting forth the pretense of virtue, so its a bit more precise. One thing I've always liked about the called "cliques" in question (I'm assuming we're all talking about the same thing) is that I see no pretense. The pretense as i see it is their assuming the stance of hating the drama yet they seek out those threads and add to the drama. They would come off a lot more honest is they just said - i love this drama, it gives me an opportunity to add some of my own. That definition of hypocricy does fit if you think about it - one example off the top - You say you hate thieves, then go out and steal. You say you hate drama, then find threads to contribute to it.

velvetears -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 3:12:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ICGsteve The innocent getting played with as entertainment is a problem, and I suspect that the experience is sometime traumatic for the OP, but the only solution is to have heavy handed Mods. The cure is worse than the problem. I think that most of the time all are willing participants in the entertainment experience, and then there is no problem at all. i agree there's really no way to "solve the problem" Everyone is free to post as they wish. One of my points was - so are the drama posters the "clique" disparages so vehemently.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 3:14:08 PM)
Gypsy- melee, excellent word! Not used nearly enough. I tend to find it more amusing when someone gets their druthers up and starts a few threads on how we need to start acting right- and then completely start doing what they are telling everyone else not to do. I've noticed a few typical friendships around, but nothing so solid or cohesive to be called a clique. But I don't often pay attention or get friendly with people in the background so I might just be clueless. But forums and forums and this is one of the better ones.

KatyLied -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 3:30:59 PM)
quote: The pretense as i see it is their assuming the stance of hating the drama yet they seek out those threads and add to the drama. I also realize that when people purposely "out" themselves as participants in drama they are attention-whoring. It's entertainment. You need to look at the posters as people with a kink for public humiliation, and give 'em what they seek.

popeye1250 -> RE: Constructive Ideas Needed (5/13/2007 3:43:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: The pretense as i see it is their assuming the stance of hating the drama yet they seek out those threads and add to the drama. I also realize that when people purposely "out" themselves as participants in drama they are attention-whoring. It's entertainment. You need to look at the posters as people with a kink for public humiliation, and give 'em what they seek. Katy, but shouldn't they have that Listed on their profile in the first place? "Attention Whoring" "Public Humiliation." - "You can pull my pants down in the Mall anytime!" "And you can "forget me" being on the roof of your car as you drive home from the Mall, I won't mind." You'd actually expect drama from people like that! It'd be like a warning. Hmm, I don't think I'd want to be in their clique.

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