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Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 3:27:57 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		I didn't want to hyjack a different thread, but the comment was made that 'vanillas are weak.'

Weren't we ALL vanilla at one point? We are born vanilla and then in time we discover this side or not, through whatever means. That doesn't make a vanilla person weak. Like I have said over and over, I am ONLY dating vanilla men, and I have seen very few signs of weakness among them; the man I am currently with is ANYTHING but, weak, if anything, he is one of the strongest men I know, inside or outside of this lifestyle; he is very strong and powerfull and a true gentleman, heck, give me a few days alone with him an I may have a new convert to this lifestyle, lol.

And sence, vanilla just means 'non kink' how does that translate into 'weak'??

I'm a bit perplexed, maybe a few members can help enlighten me; no flames or rudness please. Thanks.

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RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 3:42:26 PM   
b12345


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		I would assume that by making a statement such as vanilla=week, is just a way to overcome ones own insecurities, and make one's self feel unweek.  Like you said I have trouble seeing how someones lack of kink = weak.  I am sure there are plenty of strong people in every meaning of the word that are not into any kinks. 

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
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RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 3:46:40 PM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline 		Is it possible the person you quoted as saying vanilla is "weak" meant in  context  with  lame....boring...etc?

(in reply to b12345)
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RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 4:01:26 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

I didn't want to hyjack a different thread, but the comment was made that 'vanillas are weak.'

Weren't we ALL vanilla at one point? We are born vanilla and then in time we discover this side or not, through whatever means. That doesn't make a vanilla person weak. Like I have said over and over, I am ONLY dating vanilla men, and I have seen very few signs of weakness among them; the man I am currently with is ANYTHING but, weak, if anything, he is one of the strongest men I know, inside or outside of this lifestyle; he is very strong and powerfull and a true gentleman, heck, give me a few days alone with him an I may have a new convert to this lifestyle, lol.

And sence, vanilla just means 'non kink' how does that translate into 'weak'??

I'm a bit perplexed, maybe a few members can help enlighten me; no flames or rudness please. Thanks.


Hello slaverosebeauty. You're a smart girl, you know that's bull shit.RL

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 4:09:10 PM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		I think I understand what you are saying slaverosebeauty.
Many people think they are "superior" to vanilla people because they
are into an alternative lifestyle.
I see it by the way many people even post here on the boards.
Somewhere along the line they believed being into kink or BDSM activity
elevated them over those that do not partake in this lifestyle.
Of course vanilla does not mean "weak", nor is anyone in this lifestyle "better"
than anyone else because they participate in it.

< Message edited by VeryMercurial -- 5/15/2007 4:10:09 PM >

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
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RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 4:15:06 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Some of the strongest people I know are 'nillas. And some of the weakest I've met are so-called Doms and subs.

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 4:15:18 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Some of the strongest people I have ever known were, to the best of my knowledge, very "vanilla".

I think that to say a person that is not kinky is weak is meerly a way of making the person saying it feel superiour to those that they perceive as condeming them. It's no different than a person saying one alternate lifestyle choice is more superiour/better/more pure/etc etc etc... than another. I always see it as the person speaking/typing somehow must feel insecure in their own choice therefor they have to belittle the rest to make themself feel better.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 4:16:32 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Some of the strongest people I know are 'nillas. And some of the weakest I've met are so-called Doms and subs.


Cheater cheater cheaterrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

She said it better, shorter and sweeter than I did.


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 5/15/2007 4:17:10 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 4:17:42 PM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Some of the strongest people I know are 'nillas. And some of the weakest I've met are so-called Doms and subs.


Thank you bobbi, I get so tired of the high and mighty among us.
They nausiate me, especially those that insist they are all knowing,
and the authority on every topic.

< Message edited by VeryMercurial -- 5/15/2007 4:18:37 PM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 4:27:28 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		What VeryMercurial said!

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In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 4:59:07 PM   
Einzelganger


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline 		I've always been submissive.  Of course, I never realized it until two years ago (or rather, it was pointed out by a sub friend), but I've always been a submissive individual.  However, I don't feel stronger (or less 'weak') having embraced my submissive nature.  I might be a little mentally different than most vanillas, but one thing to consider is, why was 'vanilla = weak' said, or in what context?  Was it somewhat innocuous, as so many use the term 'weak' to describe something that's lame or boring to them?  Or was it said as a way of saying that vanillas are 'weak', perhaps for the same reason they think of us as strange (that we're different)?  Just my thoughts...

-Einzelgänger

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 5:06:34 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

I didn't want to hyjack a different thread, but the comment was made that 'vanillas are weak.'

Weren't we ALL vanilla at one point? We are born vanilla and then in time we discover this side or not, through whatever means. That doesn't make a vanilla person weak. Like I have said over and over, I am ONLY dating vanilla men, and I have seen very few signs of weakness among them; the man I am currently with is ANYTHING but, weak, if anything, he is one of the strongest men I know, inside or outside of this lifestyle; he is very strong and powerfull and a true gentleman, heck, give me a few days alone with him an I may have a new convert to this lifestyle, lol.

And sence, vanilla just means 'non kink' how does that translate into 'weak'??

I'm a bit perplexed, maybe a few members can help enlighten me; no flames or rudness please. Thanks.


Vanillas are weak with the same frequency as BDSMers. It has very little to do with sexual orientation. Sometimes it's harder to say "No, I won't dominate you because it doesn't do a damn thing for me".

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 5:09:21 PM   
minnetar


Posts: 1272
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline

b
quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

I think I understand what you are saying slaverosebeauty.
Many people think they are "superior" to vanilla people because they
are into an alternative lifestyle.
I see it by the way many people even post here on the boards.
Somewhere along the line they believed being into kink or BDSM activity
elevated them over those that do not partake in this lifestyle.
Of course vanilla does not mean "weak", nor is anyone in this lifestyle "better"
than anyone else because they participate in it.


beautifully written

minnetar

(in reply to VeryMercurial)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 5:25:34 PM   
Pezzle


Posts: 41
Joined: 5/8/2007
From: New Jersey
Status: offline 		In terms of sexuality... Vanilla is not weak. Vanilla can be just as tasty when you've had a whopping fill of the other 30 flavors for a while, so to speak ;). I mean that as in being in a committed D/s-romantic relationship and just occasionally having some passionate regular sex.

A totally vanilla lifestyle? It's not my thing, but if it's your thing then you go for it all you want. If being neither dominated nor dominating does anything for you, why fake it? Faking it would be "weak".

_____________________________

Chaos is our Master!

(in reply to minnetar)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 5:51:12 PM   
Crush


Posts: 1031
Status: offline 		Think ice cream:

many flavors, some we like, some we hate.  But vanilla is very popular, because it does have flavor!  Me, because of lactose intolerance, I'm a sorbet fan!

It isn't weak or strong....it just is.   


(in reply to Pezzle)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 6:06:42 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		People in alternate lifestyles always tend to try and say what they do/are is better/deeper/cooler/more intense/less sucky than what others do/are.

BDSM M/s is certainly no exception to this.

And of course it's just as false.


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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 6:06:57 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Vanillas can be weak so can anyone else including those in the lifestyle. Maybe they are boring to us but that is their choice to be vanilla. People that want to compensate for thir own misgivings usually make stupid statements like that. It is anyones choice to be vanilla or otherwise.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 6:16:49 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

I didn't want to hyjack a different thread, but the comment was made that 'vanillas are weak.'

Weren't we ALL vanilla at one point? We are born vanilla and then in time we discover this side or not, through whatever means. That doesn't make a vanilla person weak. Like I have said over and over, I am ONLY dating vanilla men, and I have seen very few signs of weakness among them; the man I am currently with is ANYTHING but, weak, if anything, he is one of the strongest men I know, inside or outside of this lifestyle; he is very strong and powerfull and a true gentleman, heck, give me a few days alone with him an I may have a new convert to this lifestyle, lol.

And sence, vanilla just means 'non kink' how does that translate into 'weak'??

I'm a bit perplexed, maybe a few members can help enlighten me; no flames or rudness please. Thanks.


Weak is when you have to decry another's choice as to how they choose to live their life. For myself, I never want what is being called a "vanilla" relationship these days again. I like being dominant and relating to my partner that way and I prefer that she relate to me as submissive to dominant. I like BDSM play and I like it when I combine the BDSM and the sex play and the D/s all together. I like the responsibilities that I have taken on as a submissive's dominant, even up to the saddest one of all...telling a submissive that I was deeply in love with that she had to go home and get her life there straightened out before we could build anything together while knowing that she might never come back. And she didn't. I still wouldn't change it.

Being weak for me would have been not recognizing the futility of going on as we were and starting to pretend that the darkness in the corner wasn't growing.

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 6:25:09 PM   
Braddock


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

Is it possible the person you quoted as saying vanilla is "weak" meant in  context  with  lame....boring...etc?


See, this is how I'd interpret that, too.  That "vanilla is weak" means "vanilla is boring" or "vanilla is beneath me."

"Vanilla...ha, that's so 1954. Why I have to suspend myself from the ceiling on hooks while 8 subs clean my chest with their hair and then shove needles through my eyelids, and then I take it up the ass while someone uses a vacuum cleaner on my privates in order for me to get off...and that's a boring Thursday.  One-on-one sex in the missionary position?  Might as well be in a coma."

I'm glad I'm not at that point yet, and that for all the BDSM/multiple partner/public exhibitionism/humiliation/et al that I can enjoy, a nice, straight, vanilla fuck can still be a great ball of fun and a nice change of pace from the norm of My abnormality.  I hope to never, ever GET to the point where a vanilla evening would be a tragic waste of an evening.

OTOH, if they really meant "Those who live Vanilla are weaker and inferior to me" then I guess I don't know what to say to that.

Do you think laughter and pointing and then more laughter will suffice?

~B

(in reply to spankmepink11)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Vanilla = Weak?! - 5/15/2007 6:53:18 PM   
PrincessEllie


Posts: 287
Joined: 11/30/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think Vanilla means you're weak. It's just a personal preference.
Yeah, I find it bland and boring, but it's not bad just because it doesn't have whips and chains.
Some people like that sort of stuff. As long as I don't have to be 'nilla, I don't care who is.


_____________________________

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me up
Or hold me down
And bite me baby, bite me!

http://www.cafepress.com/scenedayware
--Discreet BDSM day clothes--

(in reply to Braddock)
Profile   Post #: 20
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