Indemnis
Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
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For all of those who just *expect* you to realise you are being mistreated, they really have very little idea what you are going through, hon. I do... my first D/s experiance was similar. I loved him deeply, and I loved the relationship... I was so terrified of losing it, and him, that I gave him an enormous amount of leeway.
I am here to tell you, this is NOT the right, or healthy way to go. Get out of this relationship, post something nice on CM, and find yourself a person suited to you, someone who likes what you like and wants what you want. Love him or not, this relationship is unhealthy and is NOT going to work. If he is cheating on her, he is going to cheat on you... it seems to me he is on that "fence" I have been hearing so much about, unsure of which side he wants to land on... he's unwilling to give up his comfortable, 'nilla life to truly explore the lifestyle, so he is using you as an outlet for his fantasies.
If you truly wish to be involved in the lifestyle, find yourself a D that will work for, and with, you. Being submissive does not mean you have to take crap from any man. Don't let yourself get walked all over.
_____________________________
No-one respects the flame quite like the fool who's badly burned-- Pete Townshend
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RE: so new and so lost...... - 
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