stella40
Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MistressNoName
I'm quite impressed actually with the thought you've put into this. I have been trying to understand the whole area of forced-fem play and have never been able to even get a glimpse of it's true meaning to the individual male - CD/TS/TV. For 6 months I had ongoing connection with a TS/CD boy, also from the UK. He was truly fascinating to me, and he did make several attempts to articulate the meaning that crossdressing held for him. In retrospect I see that his words were similar to yours in some respects, but I think he lacked the introspection you have demonstrated here. So thank you for your points-of-view into this area of service/play and I hope you will write more.
MNN
I've come in to add to what LadyEllen has already pointed out - that a TS is female, whereas a TV or CD is male (irrespective of how they want to be referred to) - and to make a couple of different points for clarification.
From a non-transgendered perspective I can see how it is oh so very easy to lump everyone together into a sissy/CD/TV/TS classification and even superficially it may be hard to differentiate the transvestite who is crossdressing for emotional satisfaction from the genuine male to female transsexual who has yet to be accepted onto any course of treatment or who even has decided for some reason not to go for treatment. But we are actually talking about people who are one of two genders - male or female.
The subject of feminization among women is always going to be a sensitive subject which provokes a wide range of opinions both positive and negative. For some women it's a definite turn off, other women just can't get their heads round it, others tolerate it but nothing more, others are fascinated or curious, and there are the few who actually understand what it's all about and accept it.
Superficially looking from the outside in you see a male who appears to prefer wearing women's clothing, but sometimes looking from the inside out this is a female who is trapped and lonely in a male body who is struggling to present herself and be accepted as a female. More often yes, it IS a male wearing women's clothing, for whatever reason, be it sexual arousal, emotional comfort or simply through preference, but many people tend to discount at face value that they're dealing with a genuine transsexual.
To most women even the mere mention of the word 'feminization' is enough to get alarm bells ringing, and often conjures up mental images of drag queens, beefy looking men with hairy legs in floral dresses, or heavily obese hairy middle-aged men wearing lacy panties and stockings. But why would someone be seeking 'feminization'? Why would a guy want to be feminized into a girl? Here I offer some suggestions why - please bear in mind I am generalising into various categories and it's always best to have an open and frank discussion with the person concerned.
So why feminization?
Well maybe the guy concerned isn't really a guy but a genuine transsexual, i.e. that female trapped in the male body, who might have only recently discovered that she is actually a transsexual. She's full of fears, doubts, she's craving acceptance and reassurance, and for her 'feminization' is really nothing more than advice on make up and what to wear. Like genetic women she takes her image seriously, she may not want to look 'girly' or 'sissy' because she doesn't want to be turned into a caricature of a woman. If she is a genuine transsexual, and it may take you some time to get to know her to find out, she's going to be very conscious of her image, and she doesn't want to be perceived as a transvestite. Many transsexuals go through this phase, but most come out of it when they start living full time in their true female gender. As LadyEllen pointed out previously, with a transsexual it is her attitude to her own genitalia and her ability or desire to live in the female gender role and want to maintain an exclusively female image which is a major indication as to whether she's a girl or really a boy. And even then most doctors have problems working this out and leave it up to the gender specialists.
Then you have the TVs and CDs who want to crossdress for any one of a number of reasons - sexual arousal, as an element of play, for emotional release, sometimes simply because they much prefer to wear women's clothing over male clothing, or whatever. They are male, though some may deny this and many will want to be perceived as female when they take on the female gender role. In the majority of cases they don't want to live full time as women (but there are a few who do), but merely to take on the female gender role, or simply to dress up as women for whatever reason. Many live double lives, some even perceive themselves as being both male and female in one body, and they can successfully function as males, and some can function equally well in the female gender role.
Not all feel that they have to dress up fully as women with wigs,outfits, clothes and make up, some are perfectly happy to wear female underwear under male attire. Some are submissive whether or not they are dressed as a woman or not, but some prefer to be submissive only when they are in female gender. Quite often this is because they have been brought up to believe that men are dominant or stronger, and women are weaker or submissive and so they feel they can express their submissive nature only when being dressed as a woman. They may not even realise that they hold misogynist views until it is pointed out to them. Many want to wear the clothing they feel women 'ought' to wear - hence the slutty, tarty or girly image, but just as many work at being as convincing as possible because it gives them a buzz whenever they go out and are perceived as female or they simply prefer that image.
Therefore the reason why they want to be feminized may also vary. They may want to have their masculinity taken away from them, either as punishment for not being a normal male, or as punishment for some other reason, for many men who secretly perceive women to be the stronger sex it can be because they want to emulate women in some way. But in many cases TVs and CDs seek feminization because a Mistress is taking control of a compulsion that many of them find hard themselves to control. They may also seek acceptance, permission or agreement to crossdress through being told to or even required to wear women's clothing by a Mistress.
Then you have the sissies. Now this is serious feminization, often to the point of it being theatre of two people and its own subculture. Sissies are among the most misunderstood people in the community. They are normally very warm, sensitive, masculine men who usually want to be turned into little girls,sissy maids or even sissy sluts by Dommes. They are often very secretive about their sissy sides, they take it very seriously, not every Mistress can deal with a sissy - they require patience, understanding, a non-judgemental attitude and also an awareness of the whole sissy culture. They don't want to be women, they don't even want to look like women, and usually only want to be dressed in specific items of female clothing suitable for a sissy - satin, lace, sissy maid outfits, corsets, stockings, high heels, etc. Some love being sissy maids, doing chores, and pleasing Mistress. Usually they are not into extreme forms of BDSM, only in a Mistress who will help them express the little girl inside their masculinity.
I repeat that I am generalising here and only trying to clarify certain things from the perspective of my own experiences and those of people I have met so as to give other people reading this thread a better insight as to what might lie behind 'feminization' from a transgendered perspective. I am not professing to be an expert, I'm not, and I'm only cobbling together all this from my own POV and experiences. There may be inaccuracies, some may read this and think 'that's not me' but I'm hoping it will help shed some more light onto this topic.
< Message edited by stella40 -- 5/20/2007 4:40:16 PM >
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RE: Feminization focus - 
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