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RE: Approaching Dommes ? - 5/21/2007 3:52:55 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Have any male submissives made an approach to a Lady, who thougt thought was Domme. I dont mean at a munch, more in a Cafe say or at the mall. If so how was your approach recieved.


I am neither a Dom or a Lady, but I would suspect that you would probably never be able to recognize one at other than a BDSM event.  Unless, of course, she drops something in front of you and says, "Pick it up, bitch!"



That was part two of the question...
i was thinking by mannerisms or dress ?  But yes " Pick it up, bitch " would be a good clue i guess.

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Approaching Dommes ? - 5/21/2007 3:54:31 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		See and my style is "I'm sorry, would you mind getting that for me, please?"

How a sub found me is beyond comprehension :P

< Message edited by MsKatHouston -- 5/21/2007 3:57:00 PM >

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Approaching Dommes? - 5/21/2007 4:03:04 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

See and my style is "I'm sorry, would you mind getting that for me, please?"


MsKatHouston, in my humble opinion, everthing that a Domme says works!  But personally, emphasis on certain phrases really DO get my attention.

quote:

How a sub found me is beyond comprehension :P


Now I see why we should really blame it on the fearmones (or should I say, fearmoans?).

____________________________
Edited because I can...at least one time.



< Message edited by addicted2it -- 5/21/2007 4:08:24 PM >

_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Approaching Dommes? - 5/21/2007 4:06:05 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		Yea but how would you know I was a domme if it happened in a mall? 

In all seriousness though, sometimes a look can do more than phrases.  I have found some kinky people in the mall.  None I have ever struck a relationship with but some who have divulged certain things in off handed ways, that could be construed as kinky or not but then there's a look...and you know.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Approaching Dommes ? - 5/21/2007 4:07:52 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Have any male submissives made an approach to a Lady, who thougt thought was Domme. I dont mean at a munch, more in a Cafe say or at the mall. If so how was your approach recieved.

For the Mistress`s, if you recieved such an approach how would you react to it ? Would you welcome it or find it intrusive ?



I've been on the receiving end of such an approach more than a few times. One turned out quite bad and another was very good.

Bad...I was out with my UM who was 20 at the time. I don't look my age and we're often thought to be siblings or colleagues rather than parent/child. I was in a coffeshop while he was getting our order and someone approached me indicating he was a sub in a subtle way. I simply looked at him and said I was with someone and didn't appreciate being bothered. He then approached my son and told him how lucky he was to have such a woman in his presence and asked if we were in a relationship. His loud reply of "Dude, that's my mom, get out of my face, you freak." caused sufficient enough embarrassment that he left the shop redfaced. Hopefully he rethought his approaches in future.

Good...while in the same coffeeshop ( I study there often) a gentleman 2 people ahead of me in line prepaid my order and then struck up a conversation when I walked by to thank him. Completely vanilla conversation closed with his proferred business card with a simple hand written note on the back saying "My pleasure, Ma'am". I did end up calling him and having dinner with him a few times before he was transferred away from the area.

I think the questions I would have is what approach were you thinking to use? What is it about a woman that would cause you to consider approaching her to begin with in public?



_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Approaching Dommes? - 5/21/2007 4:16:04 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

Yea but how would you know I was a domme if it happened in a mall? 

In all seriousness though, sometimes a look can do more than phrases.  I have found some kinky people in the mall.  None I have ever struck a relationship with but some who have divulged certain things in off handed ways, that could be construed as kinky or not but then there's a look...and you know.


Well, if you had your picture posted, like you do or did, maybe you would be recognized by someone -- anyone.

I think that, if you have kink on the brain...which is not necessarily a bad thing...then you will be looking for those verbal or non-verbal cues, body language, and all things which titilate our very active imaginations.

Oh, and I did meet a Domme in a mall.  Strangely-enough, I was walking with another Domme at the time, and we ran into each other quite by accident.  By the way, I knew the Domme that we ran into.  You really do meet the nicest people at the Beverly Center.


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Approaching Dommes ? - 5/21/2007 4:22:58 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Have any male submissives made an approach to a Lady, who thougt thought was Domme. I dont mean at a munch, more in a Cafe say or at the mall. If so how was your approach recieved.

For the Mistress`s, if you recieved such an approach how would you react to it ? Would you welcome it or find it intrusive ?



I've been on the receiving end of such an approach more than a few times. One turned out quite bad and another was very good.

Bad...I was out with my UM who was 20 at the time. I don't look my age and we're often thought to be siblings or colleagues rather than parent/child. I was in a coffeshop while he was getting our order and someone approached me indicating he was a sub in a subtle way. I simply looked at him and said I was with someone and didn't appreciate being bothered. He then approached my son and told him how lucky he was to have such a woman in his presence and asked if we were in a relationship. His loud reply of "Dude, that's my mom, get out of my face, you freak." caused sufficient enough embarrassment that he left the shop redfaced. Hopefully he rethought his approaches in future.

Good...while in the same coffeeshop ( I study there often) a gentleman 2 people ahead of me in line prepaid my order and then struck up a conversation when I walked by to thank him. Completely vanilla conversation closed with his proferred business card with a simple hand written note on the back saying "My pleasure, Ma'am". I did end up calling him and having dinner with him a few times before he was transferred away from the area.

I think the questions I would have is what approach were you thinking to use? What is it about a woman that would cause you to consider approaching her to begin with in public?




i would never approach anyone who was in company, i would be polite and just try and strike up a normal conversation and go from there. i was just wondering how such an approach could be made to a Lady that appeared Dominant, either by the way She dressed on mannerisms.
Failing that i would fall at Her feet and offer  hand made chocolates

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Approaching Dommes ? - 5/21/2007 4:30:56 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Have any male submissives made an approach to a Lady, who thougt thought was Domme. I dont mean at a munch, more in a Cafe say or at the mall. If so how was your approach recieved.

For the Mistress`s, if you recieved such an approach how would you react to it ? Would you welcome it or find it intrusive ?



I've been on the receiving end of such an approach more than a few times. One turned out quite bad and another was very good.

Bad...I was out with my UM who was 20 at the time. I don't look my age and we're often thought to be siblings or colleagues rather than parent/child. I was in a coffeshop while he was getting our order and someone approached me indicating he was a sub in a subtle way. I simply looked at him and said I was with someone and didn't appreciate being bothered. He then approached my son and told him how lucky he was to have such a woman in his presence and asked if we were in a relationship. His loud reply of "Dude, that's my mom, get out of my face, you freak." caused sufficient enough embarrassment that he left the shop redfaced. Hopefully he rethought his approaches in future.

Good...while in the same coffeeshop ( I study there often) a gentleman 2 people ahead of me in line prepaid my order and then struck up a conversation when I walked by to thank him. Completely vanilla conversation closed with his proferred business card with a simple hand written note on the back saying "My pleasure, Ma'am". I did end up calling him and having dinner with him a few times before he was transferred away from the area.

I think the questions I would have is what approach were you thinking to use? What is it about a woman that would cause you to consider approaching her to begin with in public?




i would never approach anyone who was in company, i would be polite and just try and strike up a normal conversation and go from there. i was just wondering how such an approach could be made to a Lady that appeared Dominant, either by the way She dressed on mannerisms.
Failing that i would fall at Her feet and offer  hand made chocolates


Good answer..polite and normal conversation with just a slight hint of subtle innuendo tends to work best when I think of the approaches that charmed or intrigued me the most.

ummm. dark or milk chocolate?

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Approaching Dommes? - 5/21/2007 4:47:59 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

Yea but how would you know I was a domme if it happened in a mall? 


I wouldn't, but only because you are discreet.


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Approaching Dommes? - 5/22/2007 12:51:56 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		The odds of finding me at the mall.......slim to none. Hate them.

Try the farm supply store, looking speculatively at rope and odd bits of horse tack.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Approaching Dommes? - 5/22/2007 12:59:59 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

The odds of finding me at the mall.......slim to none. Hate them.

Try the farm supply store, looking speculatively at rope and odd bits of horse tack.


Not to hijack the topic but I agree with you LaT. I've bought half a dozen riding crops throughout the years and the best one still to this day is the one I picked up for $7.95 at my local farm and seed store. It's lasted far longer than any of the far more expensive ones and it's looks have lasted far longer as well. Hmmm, I may need to make a little stop in at the feed and seed. LOL

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Approaching Dommes? - 5/22/2007 1:06:32 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

The odds of finding me at the mall.......slim to none. Hate them.

Try the farm supply store, looking speculatively at rope and odd bits of horse tack.


Not to hijack the topic but I agree with you LaT. I've bought half a dozen riding crops throughout the years and the best one still to this day is the one I picked up for $7.95 at my local farm and seed store. It's lasted far longer than any of the far more expensive ones and it's looks have lasted far longer as well. Hmmm, I may need to make a little stop in at the feed and seed. LOL


One of the best things about owning horses is that you can hang up all of your equestrian toys and BDSM toys all around your house without attracting too much attention.  So, if someone asks you what they are for, just say my horses are kinky.


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Approaching Dommes? - 5/22/2007 3:09:55 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		True, except I do have to be careful. There are things I would NEVER use on a horse that I would on a person. If those get questioned I just say that they are for work.......keeping the boys in line! 

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Approaching Dommes? - 5/22/2007 3:40:50 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

True, except I do have to be careful. There are things I would NEVER use on a horse that I would on a person. If those get questioned I just say that they are for work.......keeping the boys in line! 


Oh, LaT, horses don't like it, but some humans obvioulsy need it.  (Who, me?)  And just for the record, I completely support the humane treatment of animals...unless they are pony boys or pony girls.

quote:

If those get questioned I just say that they are for work...keeping the boys in line!


But why leave the girls out?  *wink*




_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Approaching Dommes ? - 5/22/2007 3:56:42 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I've had this happen three times in the last two years. Twice at Stonestown and once at Nordstrom.
All 3 were very polite and friendly. One of them became a sub about six months later..   

I don't mind it as long as I'm not with someone when they approach me.


Diane    


         

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Approaching Dommes ? - 5/22/2007 5:05:54 PM   
freakgoddess


Posts: 48
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline 		I am approached in public places by submissives.  I've never considered it intrusive as long as they behave discreetly.  In fact, it's flattering to me that they recognise and are attracted to my aura.

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Approaching Dommes ? - 5/22/2007 5:58:07 PM   
Alcuin


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		This sub's 2cents worth:
in approaching a Lady in the vanilla world whom i felt might be a Dominant, i've simply acted polite as hell - confidently respectful, assertively chivalric, noble & gentlemanly - but not fawning, wimpy, desperate, lecherous or desperate.
A tasteful, tactful casting down of one's eyes at just the proper instant doesn't hurt, either.

Commenting on an item of apparel can be helpfully revealing - esp. if it's black leather or pvc. If i were afraid of seeming gay, i wouldn't be a very good sub to start with, methinks.

i've not been disappointed - even tho They largely turned out to be simply vanilla Ladies who were only likely "Domme-&-didn't-know-it".)
Because of my confident & assertive demeanor, i've had female subs approach me in like manner. Even tho i wasn't What they were looking for, i've made a few really good sub-friends that way...

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Approaching Dommes? - 5/23/2007 12:18:43 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

True, except I do have to be careful. There are things I would NEVER use on a horse that I would on a person. If those get questioned I just say that they are for work.......keeping the boys in line! 


Oh, LaT, horses don't like it, but some humans obvioulsy need it.  (Who, me?)  And just for the record, I completely support the humane treatment of animals...unless they are pony boys or pony girls.

quote:

If those get questioned I just say that they are for work...keeping the boys in line!


But why leave the girls out?  *wink*





The answer to that is easy........no girls working for me at the present time!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Approaching Dommes ? - 5/23/2007 1:49:57 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alcuin
in approaching a Lady in the vanilla world whom i felt might be a Dominant, i've simply acted polite as hell - confidently respectful, assertively chivalric, noble & gentlemanly - but not fawning, wimpy, desperate, lecherous or desperate.
A tasteful, tactful casting down of one's eyes at just the proper instant doesn't hurt, either.


Oh hell yes.  That would push all my buttons in just the right way.  Specifically, the subtle indications of submission and physical deference using body language and eye contact, or lack thereof.  Most men genuinely don't know how to be "seductively submissive", and it's very nice to see that someone obviously Gets It.

(in reply to Alcuin)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Approaching Dommes? - 5/23/2007 3:14:40 PM   
LightHeartedMaam


Posts: 296
Joined: 5/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it


Oh, and I did meet a Domme in a mall.  Strangely-enough, I was walking with another Domme at the time, and we ran into each other quite by accident.  By the way, I knew the Domme that we ran into.  You really do meet the nicest people at the Beverly Center.



WHAT???? Dommes running about willy-nilly in Malls???  We must stop them!!!!! :)

_____________________________

Now that I'm older, I thought it was great that it seems I have more patience. Turns out, that I just don't give a sh*t.

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 40
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