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CreativeDominant -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/17/2007 2:39:56 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: themischievous1
Your post kind of cracks me up, as in amuses me in a wry sort of way, and that's a good thing. I can use a little amusement after what I've been through. I'm not trying to offend either; I think your post is fitting and certainly accurate, at least in my particular situation.
I very recently changed my ID to "switch" because of what you've written here (though I detest the labeling of everyone that goes on):
quote:
I have romanticized being a submissive in my mind many times in the past, as much as I know that the reality of belonging to someone means it can be smelly, tiresome, sweaty (in a bad way) and unpleasant...is it just human nature to forget the unpleasant realities when they aren't right in front of our faces?
For me, the unpleasant realities were that he didn't bathe, (try once a week), he wouldn't work, he had anger issues (as in was abusive), completely avoided communication, calling everything I said and thought "bitching," and smelly was putting it lightly since he soon began to chain smoke. Add that to the not bathing and I think you get the picture. Needless to say, I bailed.
Naw..there was nothing romantic about being a submissive whatsoever and it succeeded in turning me off to submission so thoroughly that I'm not sure I'll desire to experience that state of being again for quite some time.
You know, perhaps it is the romantic AND the optimist in me that is saddened and bothered by the words above. Why?
Well, because there are some of us male dominants who do bathe (Hell, I even like a little soap with my showers), who do brush our teeth (though I cannot go for the artificial white like paper look), who have done a lot of work on all of our issues, and who do not use "bitchiness" on the submissive's part as the excuse for our own, wrong, behavior. (though that comes with the caveat that there are several blurry lines, as discussed on here in prior threads, between true "bitchiness" vs. bitchiness about not wanting to submit to something but having a very good reason vs. bitchiness that is due to not wanting/not liking/not feeling like submitting to a particular action at that particular time.)
There are some of us male dominants who like to give our submissive partners back massages after a hard day and some of us who even believe that, if she has worked outside the home, not every chore at home is hers too (I know...blasphemous, undomly thinking on my part to some).
Nothing wrong with switches...I know a couple of great people who identify as such...but please do not let the behavior of someone who "sounds" as if he did not or could not live up to his claimed label sour you and turn you off from your submissive side.
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