RE: Submission & Romanticizing

RE: Submission & Romanticizing (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

chiaThePet -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/18/2007 9:18:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lighthearted maybe it's just the cranky mood I'm in, but while browsing profiles this evening I came across a number of submissive profiles that were so florid it was just plain annoying. it made me wonder who they were trying to fool, themselves or someone else. I also realized that I am the first to romanticize any situation, especially in my personal life. I have romanticized being a submissive in my mind many times in the past, as much as I know that the reality of belonging to someone means it can be smelly, tiresome, sweaty (in a bad way) and unpleasant...is it just human nature to forget the unpleasant realities when they aren't right in front of our faces? or is it because we want to take something that is a basic need and lift it up as an ideal, worthy of prose? thoughts, anyone? Is it simply the application of prose which annoys you, or does there exist an underlying taboo overall in the BDSM, D/s community which frowns upon romanticizing or "vanilla coating" the relationships within it's ranks? Does Power have distaste for romance, finding it weakens it's authority with the addition of "sweet" and "sugary" applications, giving the appearance of just another angel food coupling? Does Power actually fear such will destroy the balance if it accepts romantic interlude? i am curious chia, pondering the truth beyond simple quirks of "dislike", as pets often do. With Love and Respect, chia (the pet)

lighthearted -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/18/2007 9:42:49 PM)
yes...my thoughts wander, but I have the attention span of a fruit fly, so even tho they may wander, many times they aren't particularly deep. in all honesty, I've I said before, I tend to romanticize situations myself...but there's a place where I draw the line...and considering myself to be the mushiest of the mushy, anything beyond that becomes so sugar-coated, it's unpalatable. so while I can appreciate prose, poetry, romance and the occasional feminine hygiene commercial, it's being bombarded by such that makes me question motives and mental health standings. I think my mood and the over-wrought profiles that kept popping up are what prompted my initial post. so, to answer your question, sweet has it's place, romance has it's place, dreams and fantasies have their place, just as others have pointed out. and, just as others have pointed out, just because I can't tolerate others' expressions of such doesn't make them wrong or less worthy or whatever. by the same token, tho, my opinions are my own and also just as valid as the blessed Harlequin romance toting, Fabio loving, bodice ripping counterparts. balance, it's all about balance...you know, that whole circle of life thing. thanks for asking.

chiaThePet -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/18/2007 10:01:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lighthearted yes...my thoughts wander, but I have the attention span of a fruit fly, so even tho they may wander, many times they aren't particularly deep. in all honesty, I've I said before, I tend to romanticize situations myself...but there's a place where I draw the line...and considering myself to be the mushiest of the mushy, anything beyond that becomes so sugar-coated, it's unpalatable. so while I can appreciate prose, poetry, romance and the occasional feminine hygiene commercial, it's being bombarded by such that makes me question motives and mental health standings. I think my mood and the over-wrought profiles that kept popping up are what prompted my initial post. so, to answer your question, sweet has it's place, romance has it's place, dreams and fantasies have their place, just as others have pointed out. and, just as others have pointed out, just because I can't tolerate others' expressions of such doesn't make them wrong or less worthy or whatever. by the same token, tho, my opinions are my own and also just as valid as the blessed Harlequin romance toting, Fabio loving, bodice ripping counterparts. balance, it's all about balance...you know, that whole circle of life thing. thanks for asking. Gee, i wasn't smitting you and don't think i said anywhere that your opinions aren't valid. i was asking about the relationship of Power and romance, and if such cannot exist together because of ideals in existence in the community, beyond "dislike" of florid application. And no, as i asked it, you added nothing to answer my question, you just beat me about the head and shoulders with a somewhat limp bouquet of attitude. Thanks anyway. With Love and Respect, chia* (the pet)

lighthearted -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/18/2007 10:13:22 PM)
sigh

chiaThePet -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/18/2007 10:35:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lighthearted sigh How Romantic

jonathon0 -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/20/2007 1:27:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lighthearted maybe it's just the cranky mood I'm in, but while browsing profiles this evening I came across a number of submissive profiles that were so florid it was just plain annoying. it made me wonder who they were trying to fool, themselves or someone else. I also realized that I am the first to romanticize any situation, especially in my personal life. I have romanticized being a submissive in my mind many times in the past, as much as I know that the reality of belonging to someone means it can be smelly, tiresome, sweaty (in a bad way) and unpleasant...is it just human nature to forget the unpleasant realities when they aren't right in front of our faces? or is it because we want to take something that is a basic need and lift it up as an ideal, worthy of prose? thoughts, anyone? Isn't romance/romanticising a neccesary bonding mechanism and motivator of desire. For me it is anyway. The visualisation and projection romance inspires, is simply a tool or vehicle to get you closer to where you want or need to be. As a sub I find it essential.Of course reality, in time, will adjust everything but by the time it does, one would hope that you and yours will have connected and found an exciting place to be. But we are all individuals and entitled our own unique, or not so unique, responses. Profiles are simply a way of getting noticed, and in view of that the florid and poetic ones must believe it makes them more attractive. If it's a mistake or an error of judgement the silence will tell them. Hmmm...I think it's time to revisit my profile, just in case. This is avery interesting subjuct, thanks. Jonathon x

SlyStone -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/20/2007 6:02:53 AM)
I have no problem with the romanticized profiles because people are saying what it is that they seek and how it is that they define bdsm. The only danger I see in overly romanticizing bdsm is if it's a one sided venture where one partner has an idealized version of how things should go in his or her head and the other partner is coming from a strictly reality based in the moment striped down expression of self. Here there is gonna be a certain amount of discord for sure. (Think Yanni playing the piano at a Metallica concert). From what I have been told it is more often the dominant who has the romantic ideals and the submissive who is left wondering why he showed up with a dozen roses rather then handcuffs and a whip but from personal experience I know it works both ways. While I agree that there does have to be a certain suspension of reality and element of fantasy in bdsm as someone else has said, for me, at it's essence, it is the opposite of romantic because romance implies a need to idealize and for me bdsm is a place to be totally real, but that's just me.

chiaThePet -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/20/2007 7:16:06 AM)
Hi jonathon, It is an interesting subject when lifted up from original application and viewed beyond the matter in which it was put forth, not to take anything away from the OP's flow of thought that She finds such annoying when She feels it may be in the extreme. i tend to be a romantic at heart and have always been such in my vanilla life, the roses, the prose, those things which lift my heart's desire so to speak. The curiosity in me rises when i remove such from the vanilla, into the BDSM, D/s area of my life. If the purpose sought in a D/s relationship is based on the needs and desires to either Dominate, or submit, should that relationship remain outside the boundries of that which is defined within a relationship of friend, lover, girlfriend, boyfriend etc? Does the Dominant view romantic offerings as an attempt by the submissive to move the relationship into a more "vanilla" genra? As a submissive, i possess a constant ache to please and be pleasing. Will my offer of prose or gifts designed to please be seen as sugary attempts to manipulate the relationship beyond it's purpose? Does the Dominant simple look at such and command, "Save the bouquets boy, drop and give me twenty, and do a little tongue cleaning of that floor while you're down there." " If I want whispery words, I'll just tighten that rope around your neck." i do understand that many are seeking "the one", and relationships form and grow beyond the immediate Power exchange, some even becoming as a couple may be viewed in more vanilla terms. Each relationship is unique unto itself, and will allow what it allows. Does the general flow of thought (if one exists) deny romanticism as contrary to the D/s relationship, because it gives a more vanilla taste to it? Does being a romantic create roadblocks in the D/s journey? Should i leave the flowers on the stem and instead be fitted for handcuffs? With Love and Respect, chia* (the pet)

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 4 [5]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125