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RE: In the real world - 8/6/2007 10:30:52 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		The trouble I find with that is that it infers that if I don't treat my slave as a date or a mate or a wife then I'm not being a gentleman.
Elegant walks to my left almost always except when I have her shift. Elegant opens doors for me. Elegant serves me even in public, but we work it in such a way that it goes as un-noticed as possible.
Elegant is my slave first and formost. To the unknowing she might appear to be my secretary or an obedient doteing (sp?) wife who pampers me.
We are equal in value but unequal in status/power. I still maintain the gentleman aspects of manners, but the manners between folks of unequal status have always been a bit different.



(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: In the real world - 8/7/2007 5:40:14 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		 For us it is fairly public. Scooter was playing with the band in a local bar last week and Jewel and i went after he left to set up. We walked in and after she hugged him i did as well as saying hello Master. The only thing he did was grin, look at the bar owner and say, "well I am greedy".

I've been known to be walking through Wal Mart yelling Master.

We are who we are and the general public can take it or leave it.


_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Dominic2007)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: In the real world - 8/7/2007 7:15:01 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Gentlemanly behavior, opening doors, demanding I walk on the off side so he is between me and the bulk of traffic, vehicles or people. Letting him order for me if he so desires, though that was usually more of a "You should try this." type of scenario. We never hid it, just strip away the sexual bits, and keep it civil, power exchange for me, spreads across all activities, and in itself is not lewd. I let him make the choices and direct action, he in turn tells me, politely as always, what he wants or expects.
I've been threatened with discreet toys in public settings but have never actually had to suffer any accessories while in public, though depending on how relaxed the atmosphere was he would whisper things to me to keep me keyed up or excited in some fashion.
My very first exploratory relationship with a Dominant, lead to an experiment of trying to associate subtle touches to my neck, as an associative trigger for pleasure and submissiveness. That particular gentleman liked to use that conditioning in public places as a subtle way of keeping me in tune to the power exchange even if the setting was very mundane and ordinary.

As for the rest of life, I do what needs doing, unless my partner desires me to modify something, in which case I do. My partners never ask me to do anything impractical or unreasonable in venues that might cause difficulty, they respect my public image as much as their own.

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: In the real world - 8/7/2007 8:40:35 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		He walks one to two steps behind off My right shoulder unless I reach for him--
 
In restaurants: I order for him deciding what he will eat, tellng the waiter " the boy' will have this or that
If we are with friends, he is always seated to My right
 
Shopping: when I purchase something, I will step to one side when the bag is handed and say" the boy will get that"
 
most other times it is had to tell submissive from gentleman
 
 

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to Dominic2007)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: In the real world - 8/7/2007 8:56:41 AM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		Sorry, but are we discussing a first time meeting?  Because if so, that varies, I think on how "well" and "long" you know the other, if phone contact etc.  For me, I think if it is several months, it should be, contrary to what all other's believe more "private", than "public" (restarant etc).  You never know how you will react, after a few weeks to a year, but, the longer it goes on, without meeting, I think it is more personal if done in a private setting. That does not mean you have to have expectations of playing, but I think, it should be pre-planned, and comfortable for both, with no expectations (only adds pressure to both), and to let it flow the way it naturally will.  :)

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: In the real world - 8/7/2007 1:29:35 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

The trouble I find with that is that it infers that if I don't treat my slave as a date or a mate or a wife then I'm not being a gentleman.
Elegant walks to my left almost always except when I have her shift. Elegant opens doors for me. Elegant serves me even in public, but we work it in such a way that it goes as un-noticed as possible.
Elegant is my slave first and formost. To the unknowing she might appear to be my secretary or an obedient doteing (sp?) wife who pampers me.
We are equal in value but unequal in status/power. I still maintain the gentleman aspects of manners, but the manners between folks of unequal status have always been a bit different


If he were to consistently use the mainstream protocols of opening doors for me, carrying the bags, letting me walk first I would be in a relationship that is unfulfilling for me.  He does this from time to time when he wants to, but I didn't get in a relationship to be treated like a girlfriend.  I want him to treat me like his slave and use me.  That means that most often, Alandra and I open the doors for him, he walks into a door first, Alandra and I carry the bags.

I am sure that some of the people who notice this behavior think he is an asshole, and he can be at times but not for these behaviors.  In not using "gentlemanly manners" with me he is fulfilling us both.

Knight's Kyra


_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: In the real world - 8/7/2007 1:29:51 PM   
atendersoul


Posts: 167
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		Sir has peers from work that W/we go to see often at their house. she makes sure that her head is never higher than His and makes sure that she serves Him first where ever W/we find O/ourselves. girl does not call Master by His given name in private or public and when out in public, He takes her hand always in walking.

(in reply to Dominic2007)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: In the real world - 8/7/2007 1:36:07 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

He has me walk on the inside when we're on a sidewalk.


So few know this...VERY old standard.


a standard that developed years ago in Europe... in days that waste was just dumped out the windows into the streets.  Ladies walked close to the buildings under the coverage building provided.. ... and men... well even then... the shit was dumped on them from up above.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: In the real world - 8/8/2007 6:13:05 AM   
Laure


Posts: 42
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		For us, extremely rare.  He can be the Dom all day and all night and still not feel the need to order for me in a restaurant or have me walking behind him.  We both know who is in charge. 

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: In the real world - 8/9/2007 7:49:16 AM   
biracalsub4wmDom


Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

in the real world, he's Doctor *insert Daddy's last name here* and i'm "SouthSide" of  Fearless Radio. 


SouthSide??  for real???  WOW.  that's awsome!  lol

_____________________________

blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***




(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: In the real world - 8/9/2007 8:04:43 AM   
favesclava


Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		He will always order and pay. yes the inside of the sidewalk is done. i automatically move to the inside since its a cultural thing with me appropiate behavior taught from childhood.
i walk to His left a step behind. i ask permission to go to the ladies room . He doesnt care what others think so we pretty much act the way we do in private. at the bar He tells me to dance. sometimes He will order me to go dance by a table full of men. First time we went to a bar, he called me over  and asked me"if i tell you to go with him and fuck him what would you do?" i didnt skip a beat, answered i will go with him and fuck him. i was then dismissed. this man called later and offered an outstanding amount of money for Master to sell me to him. the answer was no.

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: In the real world - 8/9/2007 9:10:13 AM   
Cuffkinks


Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

sidewalk
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

He has me walk on the inside when we're on a sidewalk.


So few know this...VERY old standard.


That's more gentlemanly than Dominant, though... as i understand, that was adopted in the days before sewer systems so that any ick kicked up by passing carriages would strike the man rather than the woman... but what good is a slave who doesn't "take one for the team"?

Amusing corrolary... when my wife was little, her mother always made her and her brother keep one hand on the side of the shopping cart when they were out at the store, to keep them from running off... she still does it to this day. Looking through some of the other responses, that strikes me as a rule that could apply very nicely to D/s couples as well.

...dave



   I was of the thought that in the "old days" one would keep his woman (insert girl/boy/property for present time reference) on whatever side was opposite their sword hand. This way, if they needed to draw their sword quickly, nothing was in the way.

_____________________________

Resident "11"

"I love you, Sir. You make my heart sing and my panties wet. What more could a girl ask for?" - hejira92

"And that's why it's good to be...Me." - Gene $immons

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: In the real world - 8/9/2007 4:33:47 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline 		I've always done discreet public things depending on the particular situation. It's a huge turn on of Mine personally. Although it's funny that I usually require him to walk on my left and a step ahead with my hand on the small of his back. Or I'll link his arm, with my hand on his bicep, so that I am able to direct with the most gentle pressure. Especially if his hands are full with packages. At other times I'll have him walk to my right and behind so that he can open doors, pull out chairs etc.

his dropping to one knee to tie his shoe or pick up the keys I dropped *oops* can allow him to greet me from a knelt position as I walk into somewhere public to meet him. No one really looks twice. It just appears that he's tying a shoe or picking up the dropped item if someone does. Rather than he's kneeling to great me with head and eyes lowered. A quick brush of his finger tips against the toe of my shoe is as good as his lips pressed to them when it's impossible to do so. A restaurant with a long tablecloth is great for slipping off a shoe (or not) and getting a quick little foot rub or shoe polishing without anyone being the wiser.

In previous relationships I've found that a simple series of code words can convey a great deal while appearing completely innocent. "Honey, don't you have a conference call in the morning?" can actually mean "get my purse and coat so we can get out of here". A raised eyebrow across a room, a certain look, even a wink can mean something opposite than it appears. "Pumpkin" or "Darling" can mean "you just wait until we get home young man". 

It can be a subtle pulling of hair at the nape of the neck while dancing slowly. Or the pressure of one perfectly manicured finger nail against just the right nerve in the thigh that says "you're treading on thin ice". I've "accidently" stepped on his foot to let him know he needs to watch his step as well. An extra little tug at his tie as I straighten it for him may look loving and thoughtful but the two of us know it is a reminder that he's on a very short leash.

Even in the most vanilla of situations I have been complimented on how attentive and considerate my boyfriend is towards Me. I just look over and smile that very special little half smile and agree that I'm indeed a very lucky woman. Other times I've joked that it's all in the training. If that gets a little chuckle I'll wink and let it go at that.

I've been a bit more blatant as well in front of servers, clerks etc if I think it will go over well. I'll change his order at dinner on a whim. Or order for the both of us. That blush and burn sweeping over him in front of another person is a treasure for both of us. However I usually take the situation, and the person involved, into consideration before making small gestures or comments that might be recognized. Once they are acknowledged, then I'll take it a bit farther. It's a judgement call but I wouldn't ever involve someone into our kink non consentually in public.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to Dominic2007)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: In the real world - 8/9/2007 11:11:41 PM   
needDomme


Posts: 115
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		What a dream Domme you are Ms. Jo.

need

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: In the real world - 8/10/2007 7:22:36 AM   
OrrisKitten


Posts: 59
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		For me there isn't a usual protocol or anything, but in public, my Dom is always secure in the fact that he is in control. He likes that when we are out that I am myself and that I am outgoing and talk to people. He hates when I sulk. He likes it best when I stand up straight with good posture and loves when I wear shoes that will change how my normal walk is, especially if they are heels and we are walking on cobblestones and I need to hold on to him.

He also loves guiding me with a hand on my lower back. There are a few parts of my body that are an instant turn on for me that he love brushing or gently rubbing. I think the thing that he does the most that shows his dominence is that he will stroke my face. It looks completely vanilla and sweet, but he knows that it makes me feel incredibly submissive and when we are out with other kink-friendly friends, they seem to smile a little and see it as well.

When we go to bars he generally asks me what kind of drink I would want and I will say something along the lines of "sweet and fruity" or whatever it is that I am wanting and he will order me a drink. He doesn't always tell me what it is unless I ask him and then he tells me. He sometimes orders for me if we go out to eat, but usually asks what I want first or suggests something which I would like and I trust him. He always picks the wine we get (which is natural for me as he is a self proclaimed wine snob) but over all I don't think that it is very visible to those around us unless they know.

We also have a fun game that we play when we see couples, guessing who would be the Dom and who would be the sub in the relationship, which makes it fun and funny. Its always a pleasure going out wiht him because while he is proud to show me off, he is always in control and I always feel safe.

(in reply to needDomme)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: In the real world - 8/14/2007 5:53:07 PM   
fsslave


Posts: 16
Joined: 8/14/2007
Status: offline 		Master orders in restaurants...always water for me and whatever He wants, i can point out menu items i would like, but He orders whatever He feels like letting me eat, and yes, it really confuses the waitstaff! i've learned to just avert my eyes so they HAVE to talk to Him. He is allowed anything off my plate the looks good to Him. As i am not permitted sweets unless i am on my knees with Him feeding it to me, we seldom get dessert, but if we do, i take mine to go so He can feed it to me later, in private. After the meal, i kneel to Him and thank Him, usually in the parking lot after i've opened the car door for Him, but sometimes in the foyer, at a picnic once right by the table, no one looked twice, they just assumed (i guess) that i was kneeling to be close to Him and whisper something. i walk by His side, Him holding my arm bent up against my back; we appear to be a couple in love...(oh, wait! We ARE!) If i am on the leash, He will either hold it up under my hair at the back of my neck, or wrap it around my waist under my clothes. In secluded parks, He has led me by the leash very overtly. i never wear panties, so His hand is constantly serruptitiously stroking the stripes on my ass left from the crop or teasing the end of my butt plug; i am not permitted to bat His hand away, and He keeps it quick, or up against a wall, discreet. i do ask permission to use the bathroom, but it is "May i use the bathroom?" No one overthinks the wording. Our rules are that i must keep my legs closed or crossed at all times when off the bed (or otherwise instructed) but if i open them, Master will merely push them together and discipline me later. i always kneel and change my Master's shoes in the bowling alley, and no one has ever given us a second look. Well, if they did, i was not noticing, as my eyes are on my Master only. i also carry the bowling balls in and out of the alley, although He will help if He thinks i am struggling. i feel like i have let Him down if He has to carry anything. i carry all the packages when we shop, fetch the drinks at bars, etc. We have called each other "Master" and "slave" in public, but it came out inadvertantly, and hence, so very naturally, that, again, no one noticed, probably thought they heard it wrong! 

< Message edited by fsslave -- 8/14/2007 5:55:38 PM >

(in reply to OrrisKitten)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: In the real world - 8/14/2007 8:05:17 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

He has me walk on the inside when we're on a sidewalk.


So few know this...VERY old standard.


a standard that developed years ago in Europe... in days that waste was just dumped out the windows into the streets.  Ladies walked close to the buildings under the coverage building provided.. ... and men... well even then... the shit was dumped on them from up above.


I always read it was to protect women from having the street muck splashed on them from carriages, though it is quite true that waste was dumped right onto the street.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: In the real world - 8/14/2007 8:25:58 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

The trouble I find with that is that it infers that if I don't treat my slave as a date or a mate or a wife then I'm not being a gentleman.
Elegant walks to my left almost always except when I have her shift. Elegant opens doors for me. Elegant serves me even in public, but we work it in such a way that it goes as un-noticed as possible.
Elegant is my slave first and formost. To the unknowing she might appear to be my secretary or an obedient doteing (sp?) wife who pampers me.
We are equal in value but unequal in status/power. I still maintain the gentleman aspects of manners, but the manners between folks of unequal status have always been a bit different


If he were to consistently use the mainstream protocols of opening doors for me, carrying the bags, letting me walk first I would be in a relationship that is unfulfilling for me.  He does this from time to time when he wants to, but I didn't get in a relationship to be treated like a girlfriend.  I want him to treat me like his slave and use me.  That means that most often, Alandra and I open the doors for him, he walks into a door first, Alandra and I carry the bags.

I am sure that some of the people who notice this behavior think he is an asshole, and he can be at times but not for these behaviors.  In not using "gentlemanly manners" with me he is fulfilling us both.

Knight's Kyra



When I have had women serve in the past, these are things I happen to enjoy a lot. I like to have groceries carried for me. I like to have the door opened for me. I like to have them refer to me as "sir" whether public or private. Much like wearing a slave collar, these are things that add the difference to me as opposed to have a girlfriend. That this person is a slave to me.

However, with that said, I am far from completely comfortable with it in public. Especially in a society of the "Southern gentlemen".Not by a long shot. Its part of the learning process.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: In the real world - 8/14/2007 8:34:11 PM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 189
Joined: 7/7/2006
Status: offline 		I have been known with a new sub at lunch to forget to order something so that he (or she) will have to get up and approach the wait staff and add to the ordernever lifting their eyes

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: In the real world - 8/14/2007 8:48:30 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		~ FR ~

I am his slave and servant wherever we are.  I open his doors.  I carry his bags.  I dote on him.  He orders for me when we're out, deciding what I will eat and drink.  There has only been a couple of times when I was so loaded up with bags he opened the door.  Once there was too much to take out of the car in one trip so I made two while his hands were free.  I laughed. 

I call him Master in public.  He grabs me where and when he wants.  I walk a step behind to his left unless instructed otherwise.  When in the car, he likes me to entertain him by masturbating, and he likes to grab at me for fun, so he drives.

This is the way we both want and need it to be.

(in reply to PrincessDonna)
Profile   Post #: 60
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