quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

As much as tend to dislike them at times, I do have to admit that labels, in some cases, have a purpose.  It would be kind of hard to go to the store for a can of chicken noodle soup, and then when you got there, none of the cans had labels.
 
That's My attempt to be funny.
 
Somehow, I think the point is still made.  Now, I know what chicken soup is, and you know what chicken soup is, but if we each walked off to get a bowl, we might come back with similar, yet different things.  Sure both bowls have yellowish liquid in them, with noodles and chicken, but there might be differences, too.  Does yours have big noodles or small ones?  Did it come with carrots?  Did you opt for the cheap looking (sorry) Cambell's kind, or did you bring something back that was made fron scratch?  Undeniably, we both have bowls of chicken soup, but they may not look the same.  Even if Mine looks different from yours, you'll probably still look at it and say, yep, that's chicken soup.
 
Same goes for the rest.  If someone calls themselves a submissive, I have a general idea of what they mean.  As I get to know them, I'll learn more about their definition of the word.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

As much as tend to dislike them at times, I do have to admit that labels, in some cases, have a purpose.  It would be kind of hard to go to the store for a can of chicken noodle soup, and then when you got there, none of the cans had labels.
 
That's My attempt to be funny.
 
Somehow, I think the point is still made.  Now, I know what chicken soup is, and you know what chicken soup is, but if we each walked off to get a bowl, we might come back with similar, yet different things.  Sure both bowls have yellowish liquid in them, with noodles and chicken, but there might be differences, too.  Does yours have big noodles or small ones?  Did it come with carrots?  Did you opt for the cheap looking (sorry) Cambell's kind, or did you bring something back that was made fron scratch?  Undeniably, we both have bowls of chicken soup, but they may not look the same.  Even if Mine looks different from yours, you'll probably still look at it and say, yep, that's chicken soup.
 
Same goes for the rest.  If someone calls themselves a submissive, I have a general idea of what they mean.  As I get to know them, I'll learn more about their definition of the word.

LOL I love it and as funny as it is it makes sence.

Magik's slave

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

There have been so many debates about what is a sub what is a slave what is a bottom what is a Dom or Master or Top and it seems there are as many different definitions as there are people, Everyone says it depends on the people and what they call themselves to define it for themselves, But i ask you when do these words just simply lose any meaning at all. When you have as many definitions as people the words begin to mean nothing at all, Labels are no good because one persons slave is anothers sub and one persons Master is a Top to another, and then you get words like fake and wannabe thrown out because these people who label themselves these ways do not measure up to the definition someone els personally gives the word. I think  this breeds a lot of animosity amongst the community. I mean how many threads have there been in the last few weeks alone about Fakes and wannabes not to mention the number of threads asking what the difference between sub and slave is. The only thing we can seem to agree on is that these words have no definition at all and there for in my opinion are meaningless and rather worthless to us as a group trying to find a way to define ourselves so that we can match up with our perfect other half!!

Magik's slave

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion



The meanings have become blurred because many people have been made to feel ashamed of not measuring up to those who place themselves up on pedestals.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeniferJuniper

Sorry – but I like my definitions, and with no intention to grade or disrespect….

Submissive/bottom = One who submits to others, but not necessarily full time, often just for scening – and is usually in control of what happens.  Usually only has one Dom/Domme at a time, but can be shared with others, if the Dom/Domme wishes.  Is in the lifestyle for the physical/sexual pleasure.

Dom/Domme/Top = One who dominates others.  Again, not necessarily full time and usually just for scenes.  Is in the lifestyle for the physical/sexual pleasure and can have any number of submissives.  Is in the lifestyle for the physical/sexual pleasure.

Slave = someone who is “owned”.  Who gives over total control to the other person 24/7 – who doesn’t do anything without first asking permission or thinking if it will meet with the approval of their owner.  Only has one Master/Mistress.  Commitment, loyalty, trust and love – in the lifestyle for the mental/emotional pleasure. (not to be confused with the Gorean slave)

Master/Mistress – someone who takes over control of the slave’s life – and is responsible for the slave’s health, wealth and well-being at all times.  Can have more than one slave (but few have the ability/time/energy for such total commitment)  Is in the lifestyle for the mental/emotional pleasure.

All brief descriptions and I apologize if it sounds at all derogatory, it is not intended.
So when someone approaches me, I have to decide which category they fit into – I am not looking for a submissive and all too often I get those, who just want nothing more than a couple of hours play and/or sex and nothing more.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

sure they have meanings.  most importantly to the people who are using them.  even if they are interchangebly using them to suit their mood or preference for the time being, they are still valid to them, so why shouldn't they be meaningful?
 
this slave believes the problems and animosity you are talking about are generated by folks who either here on the boards or just in their minds generalize and make absolute assumptions with regards to the individuals who are employing those words.
 
in other words, it's fine and dandy for folks to have all the meaningful definitions they want about a particular orientation, but when they try to squeeze everyone into the same box, grouped all together under the heading "submissive", "slave", "bottom", "human", "whatever", and so therefore they must all react or act or behave in the same manner is where the negative or uncomfortable associations or assumptions come into play.
 
at least, that's where this slave sees people go when they assume that all those who identify with a particular orientation (or with the human race, for that matter) are going to have identical wants, needs, desires, reactions, stimulus, etc.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

sure they have meanings.  most importantly to the people who are using them.  even if they are interchangebly using them to suit their mood or preference for the time being, they are still valid to them, so why shouldn't they be meaningful?
 
this slave believes the problems and animosity you are talking about are generated by folks who either here on the boards or just in their minds generalize and make absolute assumptions with regards to the individuals who are employing those words.
 
in other words, it's fine and dandy for folks to have all the meaningful definitions they want about a particular orientation, but when they try to squeeze everyone into the same box, grouped all together under the heading "submissive", "slave", "bottom", "human", "whatever", and so therefore they must all react or act or behave in the same manner is where the negative or uncomfortable associations or assumptions come into play.
 
at least, that's where this slave sees people go when they assume that all those who identify with a particular orientation (or with the human race, for that matter) are going to have identical wants, needs, desires, reactions, stimulus, etc.

((smiles)) very true...
You are right, but it is in human nature to try and put everyting into neet boxes we want there to be absalute truths and not "this means this here but means that there"
I personaly dont care what you call yourself be it sub slave Master or Dom, but it seems to me that enough people do care to be causing a bit of a ster.

Magik's slave

quote:

ORIGINAL: jaunty1

I have always found these debates about the definitions of words to be highly amusing. Eveyrone else always trying to justify the way another person is by their own definitions. Why does it matter so much?
 
You call yourself a slave, your Master calls you a slave; another calls you something else. Which means more to you? Another persons definition, or your own?
 
melissa asked me once what made her and her service different from anyone elses. My answer was simply "I do". WE are the only ones that matter; OUR definitions are the only ones that matter. When I talk to other people, or meet them at clubs; I use the same philosophy. I don't care what they choose to call themselves, and I don't care if it coincides with what we care to call ourselves. As long as we are true to ourselves and each other, that is all that matters.
 
Live well
 
Alex

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Another example of how a word feels rather than what it actually means, I'm all for maing new words or catagories that fit if the terms don't fit you as an indivdual.
What I and many others have a problem with is that communication becomes more difficult, takes longer and limits itself to the most basic idea unless the lexicon has some reasonably set definitions for most terms.

If slave can mean "anything" anyone wants it to mean then it has in effect become meaningless because it has no definition.
(definative differences that give a word meaning in the mind).

I'm not so arrogant as to think my definition should be THE definition. But if the definition was actually set by anyone, we could move on to discuss more complex ideas about M/s and D/s and their similarities and differences and what makes them tick.

Unless and until the definition is set we will be relgated to the same onld discussions of 1,894,917,931,247,852 different equally valid ideas about what a slave is or is not.

I'm certainly not gonna hold my breath waiting for it to happen though, LOL.