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pageturned -> RE: Photos please (10/13/2007 8:15:12 AM)
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I think there are two levels we could discuss this.
The first level is theoretical, about mutual consent. If you require a picture to talk (your right), and I don't feel like sending it (my right), we're not going to talk. If you require a picture to meet (your right), and I don't fel like sending it (my right), we're not going to meet. In between, some different kinds of negotiations, which are pretty usual in every relationships, but also sometimes tiresome. But in the end, it's a matter of respective will. Either they meet or they don't. Then, you may have a certain opinion about subs who don't want to share a picture, and you may have a certain opinion about Dommes who require a picture to reply. But in both cases it's free will, depending on sensitivity, personal agenda, past experiences, amount of contacts, and so on. Free will, to be respected. If I see in a profile a "no pic, no reply" policy, I don't contact her. I won't miss her, she won't miss me, as we're both looking for something different.
On a more personal level, I have no picture on my profile and I won't ever. As for sending, I haven't sent any so far, but I'm not ruling out the chance. I put some effort in writing my profile, and I'd like people to start to know me through it. Then, it's about talking with a person that you get to know that person. Chemistry is in the mind first, in my opinion. Look follows. Then, I have to admit (shame on me) that I'm more likely to contact a Domme if she has a picture I like (and I'm not talking just about beauty; I'm talking about the expressiveness of photography as a means of communication) in her profile. But I have contacted Dommes with no picture at all. The final word on chemistry is not given neither by pictures (look), nor by words (communication), but by meeting (body language, reactions to each other, and so on). We could talk about phone calls as well, or other identity verifications, but I'd go too far. The first meeting I had with a Domme was after months of email and phone calls, but we didn't know the look of the other (apart from a self description). Actually, while I have to admit again that I'd prefer to see a picture before meeting, it's also true that a blind meeting can add some mystery, and emotions, which is not bad. Obviously, as I prefer not to send pictures, I don't ask for them (or if I do, in one of my unforgivable moments of weakness, I say upfront that I wouldn't swap).
There's another point, just to advocate my position a little further. If I'm a submissive (ok, I am), and I take a plane to meet a Domme, in a public place, her city, for a coffee, what the Domme is risking is just a little time of her own. I'm risking hours, or days, and money. So I wouldn't say that I'm not serious. What I (selfishly? one-sidedly?) think is that after communicating so much, the Domme should understand the reasons why I'm not sharing a picture. If she doesn't, maybe she's not sensitive enough (for my standards), or I haven't been able to convey who I am.
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