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Online Domination..what the...? - 5/22/2007 7:21:44 PM

MistressAinCT

Posts: 205
Joined: 2/21/2004
Status: offline

I have to ask this...I just don't get it.

I don't understand what online Domination is all about. It's hard enough sometimes getting some slaves to do things for Me while in My presence, why would I trust an onliner to do it?

I have done online ONLY with slaves who I see RT and own outright-with long distance relationships that's sometimes the only thing holding it together between visits (which is why I DO NOT take out of state slaves anymore). But I just don't understand what anyone could get out of looking at a computer screen and following orders as a way of having a BDSM relationship (and is it REALLY BDSM if there is no physical contact???)...I wouldn't even do online training when I was pro to clients-it didn't make sense!

And yes, I know there are webcams, but I liken that to looking at pix or renting a DVD..it isn't REAL to Me...and its a lot like porn.

Call Me old fashioned-and I know some will-but I prefer the warmth of skin touching skin, watching the welts for RT, the actually TEASING and heat of human flesh as it turns red, and the wonderful aftercare that happens when two people have enjoyed a good, REALTIME session.

Is it that people are afraid of human relationships? That its a way of filling a fantasy without having to admit you have them? If you can't kneel in front of Me RT, what makes Me think you can do anything else over phone or computer?

And if you are going to say "its the only way to get what we need/want/desire", PULEEEZE...it isn't. IMHO, its a lazy person's way of service, and I personally just don't have the time to spend all day on computers bossing slaves around.

I guess I am really clueless about this-someone wanna fill Me in?

BTW, I KNOW that Domination is sometimes very psychological and one doesn't have to be in the direct physical presence of a Dominant to be dominated in that way so I figure it has to be more. Is it?

_____________________________

When you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow www.mobiusmetals.webs.com

So many toys-so little flesh...

Post #: 1

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/22/2007 7:39:42 PM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

As an extention of a RT relationship I could see it being used as a form of communication to continue contact in some way, and while I consider it a poor substitute, I suppose it can fill the void when a D and s are apart.

Stand alone, I don't see how online could be fulfilling, Some may find it is the level they are comfortable with, flirting and toying with the concepts and applying what's most comfortable? Then you have to consider, how often do people get upset, feel their lives are impacted by people they speak with on the internet. I do not mirror this attachment though I can sometimes connect on a solid mental level, it's still only a single dimensiont o me.

I have however seen MANY people (mostly from playing online games) who develop these fantastical bonds through the internet alone, to the point of obsession or an alteration of reality. They go insane if so-and-so doesn't come online, they spend all their time chatting, dreaming, and in effect, ignoring reality for the fantasy they make up consisting of content they recieve through this virtual world. I've watched people break down in tears, tear apart their physical surroundings, fall into deep pits of depression. I feel it's an addiction of the past decade, the internet is a gate way to fantasy, no need to take drugs or run away from home, it's all at your finger tips. It definitely requires a mindset to do however, to percieve textual (sometimes pixelated!) people as intimate contacts.
This is sort of the opposite end of the spectrum fromt hose who feel people on the internet are nothing BUT text and cannot associate an SN or an image with a real thinking person, which creates a great deal of the ass-hattery we see online.

It's not a complete answer, but it's an insight of sorts, to the behaviors I have seen and dealt with of intensive internet users. I work as technical support consultant for a major Canadian communications company, specifically with their internet tech department. You would be surprised who the most emotional/irrational customers are, not the ones who lose valuble business time or important services, it's the ones who are addicted to their chat programs and MMO's (Massive Multiplayer Online).

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 2

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/22/2007 7:50:28 PM

Minsha

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

I would agree completely that is is one of the negative by-products of the access to a large number of people that the internet has allowed.
Those that are physically too far, or feel (for whatever reason) they cannot join a community or focus more on making contact that this is some form of an outlet. As someone that is a member of my local community, I don't find any valid substitute in online domination.
I agree with the OP that the physical sensations of having a submissive person in the flesh is awe-inspiring.

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)

Post #: 3

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/22/2007 7:51:39 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I agree with you. I don't get it either. I use the computer for a means of communication and thats it. I guess online is all some have. I can't see how the dynamics are played out on a webcam. Doesn't work for me.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 5/22/2007 7:52:00 PM >

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 4

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/22/2007 8:11:11 PM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline

For me,

If I have meet the person RT, amd we are moving toways full time, real time. Then there would be assignments relating to the relocation, etc. But otherwise, I don't get it eaither.

Mike

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 5

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/22/2007 8:13:30 PM

mercurialis

Posts: 61
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline

I am one of those that have a purely online mistress/sub relationship. It is very long distance and it is very possible I will never see this woman in real life.

Why is it online? Because it started as a friendship, and the way I make friends who share my more unusual interests is through online, as I still have yet to be able to attend a munch or a BDSM group meet. When I'm a little older and I start to be able to visit these events, I'll be able to start meeting people through the real world first. However, regardless of the fact of where it started, the result is that we became very good friends over a period of many months.

What is my online domination about? It's about the same things I would want from a real life online dom/sub relationship. Since there is no one in my life right now who could fill that dominant role for me, my only potential source for this is through online contact. And its hardly like I trolled chat rooms looking for it...neither one of us was looking for what the other had to offer, but we eventually realized that over a period of time, we had started to just naturally take the roles of dom and sub with each other. We didn't seek this out, it just happened.

Is it real? It's as real as any of my other online friendships I suppose. Some people might think those aren't real...but, well, I think as long as the person on the other end of the connection is not some poser, then what you are talking to is a real person, the same person you might have ended up meeting at an event or munch. So the manner of initial contact is different, it's not like it should change much. Yes, real life contact is the better way to make friends. But when that friend of yours isn't around, you email them, call them on your phone, and IM with them...the same with any online friend you would make.

I think if two people just start a dom/sub relationship for the purpose of cybering or just purely sexual reasons, then yes, it probably is a fairly shallow and meaningless relationship, and many of the people who do that probably are not doing everything they type. But if two people have a friendship or dom/sub relationship that is more than just that, why couldn't it be fulfilling?

I should add; to date, all of the dom and sub sessions I have done in real life have come out of making friends online. Let's face it...the internet is currently a very popular way to connect people who have less common and usually hidden interests. When I'm looking for local groups that I can join and take part in soon, I do it through google....an online method to allow me to eventually do things in the real world. Same with making online friends.

< Message edited by mercurialis -- 5/22/2007 8:28:05 PM >

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)

Post #: 6

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/22/2007 9:44:12 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

It's not really for me either. Even with Robert so far away right now and our primary communication is online...I'm not "making" him do things and watching via cam for any sort of gratification....seems empty for me. If it works for others, then wonderful!

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to mercurialis)

Post #: 7

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/22/2007 10:25:14 PM

Masque66

Posts: 185
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline

Well for one online domination has been my only method as of yet. I don't have many options in my local area. As to how do I know? I don't know. But really they won't have any fun if they don't follow my instructions, so it's in their own best interests to do so. I also see it as an opportunity for creativity. When all you can do is give orders, your words must be your tools. In addition there's something very pleasant knowing that your sub's own body has become the instrument of your domination.

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 8

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/22/2007 10:47:24 PM

mansub20

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

I have seen mistresses offering on-line domination only. Some blatantly say on-line that they want tribute. One that I contacted emailed me back with only one question 'do you want to be a money slave'. Now lets work this out... they dont want to meet and they want my money.... hmmm

I reported the money-slave email but the web-site has done nothing.

It seems the vast majority of domms on this web-site are either money-scams or professionals advertising. I'm sorry but this site is loosing credibility

(in reply to Masque66)

Post #: 9

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/22/2007 11:12:18 PM

Masque66

Posts: 185
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline

money slave...You know I get this sort of thing all the time. They're called telemarketers.

(in reply to mansub20)

Post #: 10

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/23/2007 1:53:35 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

I don't understand... Am I the only one who has a slave that only acts up when she wants punishment? Whether online or not, I have no doubt she would follow orders. I know I'm blessed to have her, but statements like "I don't understand what online Domination is all about. It's hard enough sometimes getting some slaves to do things for Me while in My presence, why would I trust an onliner to do it?" make me wonder.

I've felt that same notion around. Many Dom/mes I've spoken to implied that if they don't lay down the law, their slaves will run free. I admit, I occasionally have to remind My Pet who is in control, and which end of the leash she gets, but overall she want to be My Slave. Has the desire to serve fallen from the favor of subs?

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to Masque66)

Post #: 11

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/23/2007 1:58:47 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Keeper, you know the answer to that one. People are people and we are all different. Some require a firmer hand than others. Perhaps, it's even the Master that prefers it that way.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 12

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/23/2007 2:57:27 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

There must be something appealing about online Domination just for the large numbers of people who engage in it. i have had a plethora of Doms expect my obedience and submission through online or phone as a condition of meeting in real life. When i explain that i need to feel a connection first and that i can only feel a connection through the use of all 5 senses, the Dom promptly disappears, with or without the 'you fake!' insult hurled at me.

i fully understand that some folks can get very involved online and for some, it is the only viable outlet for them who am i to question it. What i do question is the use of the internet to try to eliminate all risk associated with meeting in person or thinking that people should be expected to bond in cyberspace before even considering meeting in person.

For some reason i can understand Dominating online easier than i can understand submitting online. Seems like a really complicated form of masturbation and since i'm a two-handed typist it doesn't work for me. i remember one IM where had i actually performed what He was typing i would have had to type my responses with my nose.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 13

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/23/2007 3:14:48 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

I don't understand... Am I the only one who has a slave that only acts up when she wants punishment? Whether online or not, I have no doubt she would follow orders. I know I'm blessed to have her, but statements like "I don't understand what online Domination is all about. It's hard enough sometimes getting some slaves to do things for Me while in My presence, why would I trust an onliner to do it?" make me wonder.

I've felt that same notion around. Many Dom/mes I've spoken to implied that if they don't lay down the law, their slaves will run free. I admit, I occasionally have to remind My Pet who is in control, and which end of the leash she gets, but overall she want to be My Slave. Has the desire to serve fallen from the favor of subs?

I never had a desire to serve in the first place. M didn't accept me because he wanted someone to serve him, either.

agirl

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 14

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/23/2007 6:01:14 AM

MistressAinCT

Posts: 205
Joined: 2/21/2004
Status: offline

Wow...I got some good info..

I don't spend all day online as I have some friends who do-even the ones NOT into BDSM but are into MySpace. They have given up all reality for the comfort of their computer chair and screen. This is epidemic whether its in the BDSM community or mainstream. I think cyber-sex is still alive and well and living all across America.

My slave started out as a friend as he lived in NH and I am here in CT (I have/had RT slaves here with Me). There was NO online Domination whatsoever since that wasn't the initial reason for our contact, but eventually he moved here to be with Me and that is when the physical D/s relationship started. So I can understand when some of you say that you started out as friends online, then moved forward.

I was speaking more toward the people who depend soley on this way of life with NO intentions of meeting anyone RT. Believe Me, if I could get paid for online Domination I would do it in a heartbeat. As a pro, I did make that offer to clients but very few accepted (thank the Goddess!) because they also knew it would be an empty thing. And besides, when they left Me and My dungeon, they were leaving their fantasy behind for the reality of their job and family. That's why proDomination works but I digress...

And as for submitting online, well, that's the same thing. What can you possibly get out of it if you can't see your Dominant's eyes as she either praises or corrects you? How do I know you are hitting yourself with a ruler when I tell you to? Yes, the "fun" is that you do indeed go through with it, but do I really KNOW who I am talking to? Could you be a kid or group of kids yanking My chain (thankfully, its a LONG chain...)? Pix can be uploaded from anywhere, gang-do you KNOW who you are speaking to?

And do I really have to get into the realm of child porn and abuse online (shit, where did THAT come from???)

Assuming we are all adults (and that is a HUGE assumption here, folks) I guess I will never understand online Domination OR submission. If it gets your juices flowing (I suggest sitting on a towel then) by all means-enjoy! you won't have to worry about disease, injury or whatever, but you also won't experience the full enjoyment of another person revelling in your submission, basking in your subspace, cooing in your aftercare. And might I add, possibly the greatest sexual experience of your life?....<sigh> now where IS that whip and slave????

Keep those cards and letters coming, people!

_____________________________

When you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow www.mobiusmetals.webs.com

So many toys-so little flesh...

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 15

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/23/2007 6:35:41 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

I kinda get on-line domination -- having been involved in LDRs a large part of that could be considered on-line. However, in that case it is something to maintain a relationship in between meetings. I imagine the on-line only crowd are similar only without the meetings; dunno why they wouldn't want to take it to rt though.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 16

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/23/2007 6:44:53 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

I don't understand... Am I the only one who has a slave that only acts up when she wants punishment? Whether online or not, I have no doubt she would follow orders. I know I'm blessed to have her, but statements like "I don't understand what online Domination is all about. It's hard enough sometimes getting some slaves to do things for Me while in My presence, why would I trust an onliner to do it?" make me wonder.

I've felt that same notion around. Many Dom/mes I've spoken to implied that if they don't lay down the law, their slaves will run free. I admit, I occasionally have to remind My Pet who is in control, and which end of the leash she gets, but overall she want to be My Slave. Has the desire to serve fallen from the favor of subs?

Service doesn't equal submission and submission doesn't equal service. You are confusing the two.

Peace

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 17

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/23/2007 6:48:34 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Masque66

Well for one online domination has been my only method as of yet. I don't have many options in my local area. As to how do I know? I don't know. But really they won't have any fun if they don't follow my instructions, so it's in their own best interests to do so. I also see it as an opportunity for creativity. When all you can do is give orders, your words must be your tools. In addition there's something very pleasant knowing that your sub's own body has become the instrument of your domination.

If you do not have anything going on in your area, then make something in your area. If you utilise the abilities of online, you can create a group and even a munch. Saying there are no options in an area is a weak excuse.

(Plus I googled your area and there are numerous groups and organisations)

Peace

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Masque66)

Post #: 18

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/23/2007 7:07:06 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

I don't believe anyone ever says that online is better than r/l but sometimes people have problems that prevent them from r/l. People with debilitating, chronic illnesses may never be able to form a r/l D/s relationship but they can enjoy some of the same feelings in an online only.

I also don't understand why people who aren't into something feel that therefore they have the right to denigrate anyone who enjoys something that they don't. I don't go around saying "you eat cake batter ice cream? are you nuts, that stuff's sickly sweet". I just say it's too sweet for me when offered a bite and I'll stick to my chocolate.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 19

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/23/2007 7:13:52 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

Greetings MistressAinCT,

quote:

Pain is the way weakness leaves the body...

i love your tag line...so true~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 20

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