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RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 10:08:17 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Guess I'll just have to stop going to that two-bit whore on nickle night.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 10:13:41 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

ORIGINAL: gothicdiva
Yes, I noticed that Velvet. Had he read my subsequent posts, there would have been no confusion as to whom I was referring.
Really? So you're saying that it wasn't appearent in the post I  responded to but in later post and somehow I was supposed to know that? Hmmm, interesting.


Here is what gothicdiva said in total - it speaks for itself so don't twist things around like it was her fault YOU misunderstood

gothicdiva posted:
[I agree with you on this point. She said "partner." I don't know if somewhere we assumed it was a wife or someone mentioned it. At any rate, it's still the same...she's an unwitting victim in all of this.

At any rate, I would love to see some more male viewpoints here...it seems that a few of you are "lurking" but not posting.

Be well,
M. Diva ]

Anyone with half a brain understood who she was referring to - only those with the intention of twisting words would pretend not to - or maybe people really are that stupid???


_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 10:15:55 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		LOL, yet another 10 and 1 respectively, velvet. Me thinks you're grasping a bit too hard for this. Or are you just an emotional masochist?


_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 10:21:05 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink - if you can't see where you misunderstood her and have the balls to admit it, i have nothing more to say to you - what an ego

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 10:23:06 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		LOL, somehow I doubt you will let things go. And I'm the one with an ego. LOL

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 10:37:04 AM   
frazzle40


Posts: 56
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		Back to original post.

I didnt know he was married when we met,
I was told when i fell pregnant.  
I got the i'll leave her for you BS.

Would i have wanted a known liar and cheat.   not on your life.          Being a single mum isnt easy, but the alternative was worse.

This has nothing to do with BDSM, just common sense.

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 10:43:14 AM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Guess I'll just have to stop going to that two-bit whore on nickle night.

Wahooo a regular customer now then ... leave those nickle whores alone ..... thats 5 cents please


< Message edited by astarri -- 5/27/2007 10:44:04 AM >

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 10:50:03 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		LOL, but as with those whores on nickle night, astarri, I shall not pay unless services are rendered.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to astarri)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 11:14:02 AM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

LOL, but as with those whores on nickle night, astarri, I shall not pay unless services are rendered.

hey you got your advice and sound advice at that !!! now pay up Mister!!

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 11:25:09 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Aright, alright!! Sheesh, women from Canadia are tough. LOL

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to astarri)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 11:37:09 AM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		*flexes her muscles all tough rocks like


thank you 

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 3:01:21 PM   
bustysubmissive


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline 		thank you my master is not married as everyone assumes, he lives alone but does have a girlfreind. I am very aware that what im doing is wrong but when we first met he said they had seperated! 6 mths down the line when ive fallen in love with him i find out hes seen her " as freinds" !! I know im not all innocent here and would never see a married man intentionally, I hate myself for getting in this mess and am very ashamed of myself, but i didnt come on here looking for any sympathy, i realise what ive done and  desperatly want to sort this mess out asap. but when u love someone its hard.There is no easy option, but please dont think i just want sympathy, i need advice. my submissive side is telling me to give it time , my vanilla side is telling me to run as far away as i possibly can.

(in reply to ennaozzie)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 3:08:37 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bustysubmissive

My current master has taught me well and promised to end his current relationship, but after 6 months im still waiting and have realised it will never change. I have grown and become strong and my submissive side has even suprised me, my need to submit has gone beyond being satisfied from a few snatched hours when master can sneak away. I told him the only reason ive hung around waiting for him is that he promised he would end his relationship early on as there was nothing left, but hes still there!
I cannot go on deceiving myself and his partner, this isnt what being submissive is about for me im looking for a ltr which he promised, but reality has hit me and i need to decide if its time to move on? any genuine advice woukld be good as this is so difficult as i love him dearly which ive told him , he says he loves me but im struggling to cope with this situation.


Huh?

(in reply to bustysubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 3:18:43 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bustysubmissive
i realise what ive done and  desperatly want to sort this mess out asap. but when u love someone its hard.There is no easy option, but please dont think i just want sympathy, i need advice. my submissive side is telling me to give it time , my vanilla side is telling me to run as far away as i possibly can.


In this case I would think your "submissive" side should be listening to your vanilla side. I also think you know what you need to do but, as you said, it's difficult to do. I place a high value on my own integrity and honor. There are times when my submissive side is so enthralled with being submissive to someone that it out-shouts my vanilla side. But it doesn't take very long before the vanilla sides' nausea and clearer thinking takes over and my submissive side quits running the show. I've never been quite where you are at but I know my vanilla side would be heaving and my submissive side really can't stand that.

There are manipulators out there. They can hook you and wind you up so tight you don't know what to do, on the surface. But to be able to face yourself every day, you know what you need to do. It's hard. It's danged near impossible, but you can do it. It took me 26 years to leave my abuser because the manipulation was so subtle it took a long time to realize what was happening. (Frog in hot water!) It still aches sometimes, but it was the best thing I ever did for myself. You can do it.

(in reply to bustysubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/27/2007 4:33:00 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bustysubmissive
i need advice. my submissive side is telling me to give it time , my vanilla side is telling me to run as far away as i possibly can.


I don't know if it was a poor choice of wording on your part or if you meant it that way, but this sentence would imply that having a "submissive side" or being submissive would make it more difficult to make a decision that would involve choosing what is the right thing to do. You state your "vanilla side" is speaking to you sensibly so I am not sure where the conflict is. You know what is the right thing to do and can not use submission as an excuse to get out of doing the thing that may be emotionally more difficult but will ultimately be what is best for all involved parties. To stay in such a situation because you want to cling to the unlikely notion of what may someday be is not submissive it's selfish. You clearly said that you know what you are doing is wrong. Submission is not a condition that renders us powerless to conduct ourselves with integrity or absolve us of our wrong doings.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to bustysubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/28/2007 2:24:42 AM   
azzmaster


Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		this is the oldest stoey ever... bdsm and vanilla world. u know u have 2 move on and master is a liar or u wouldnt have posted this. if it feels wrong it isnt right

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/28/2007 5:31:54 AM   
larissa2007


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline 		Well your vanilla side it the correct side.  Love is a powerful emotion.  You sometimes never stop loving someone, after all when someone you loves dies, do you stop loving that person?  Of course not.  Maybe that is how you need to make the break clean, tell yourself he is dead, that will allow you to grieve for the love lost and move onward with your life.

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 137
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/28/2007 6:36:10 AM   
kazinja


Posts: 24
Joined: 8/15/2006
Status: offline 		Being caught between hope and fear, or between sensible and wishful thinking, should not be translated into being caught between your submissive and vanilla sides, as Erin wrote before. The main thing feeding your hopeful/wishful side, may be the thought that "he might change" or worse "I can change him". He very probably won't, you probably can't. First, he seems to be very good at deceiving, as he has been able to fool you and his partner for a long long time and he feels confortable in continuing to do so. Second, why would he change? It's bringing him exactly what he wants!
Seeing no problem in deceiving two people full time and getting someone pregnant while in a 'previous' relationship (birthcontrol is the responsibility of two people) does not describe the person I would put my trust in as either partner or master. Even if he would eventually leave his partner, you probably would end up in her situation one day or another.
Manipulative and deceitful people can be very charming. That's one of the easiest ways to get what they want. Don't make it easy for him by helping him to do his thing and let yourself be turned into his 'partner in deceit'. Trust your 'vanilla' side and run.

I wish you lots of strength

Ron


(in reply to larissa2007)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/28/2007 7:00:10 AM   
naughtygirl2tame


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		i have a problem and i am not sure what to do everyone is telling me to walk away,just dont know what to do.i cant is the truth,,,he has to tell me to walk,he has to initiate the parting i cant do it...i know i sound stupid or irrational.but you dont know whats going on and its so painful, so hurting so much sorrow, its all confusing to me,for i dont know what happend in the first place that it got to the point of evryone telling me to walk away.......yes i should but i just cant he has to tell me........... I am a good girl, just wish he relized how much..... tell me dose the pain ever stop?,.Do you learn to trust again? To give without question ? When is it really time to walk away? WHEN??  when your so broken and hurt that it cant be fixed only by the touch of his hand? is it time to walk away then?,,,, Someone tell me please........ Is it time to walk away when you feel you can no longer breath the air around you its so thick and suffocating but you know in your heart that if you walk away you would suffocate anyway so whats the point?..........like i have said in my journal.i think i want off this ride its not fun anymore,......Is that when you walk awy when it stops being fun???? But i have a question  HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN IT HAS STOPPED BEING FUN??????  When dose one truly know when to walk away??????
broken...

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: when to walk away ?? - 5/28/2007 7:18:28 AM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		I never understood the point of cheating, I really didn't.... I mean - if your relationship is at the point where you plan to or actually go behind your partners back then surely that means you should either talk to your partner, try councelling or walk away, whats the point in stringing people along? I just dont get it, never have and I don't think ever will, can someone please explain?

(in reply to VeryMercurial)
Profile   Post #: 140
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