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Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 3:27:46 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		OK I know I have seen this mentality a lot on thes forums. Aspecially in a thread that is going on right now that provoked me to start this thread regarding a "safe place" or subs only that seemed a little bit to much like the day care that parents drop their kids off while they work out in the gym. So often you see people compaering sub/slaves to children... such as with discapline and punishment and many other things. I want to know why?? Do you Doms not crave an adult partner who needs you yet can take care of themsevs if you arent there?? I dont get this and I for one know it makes me a little hot under the collar when someone does compare a sub/slave to a child. A child has no place in this lifestyle!! I feel it to be very demeaing and belittleing to be compared to a child. Am I the only one that thinks sub/slaves deserve more credit and respect then that??

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-


Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 3:31:02 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I may call Fox a "boy" but he is no child and not immature in the least.

If he is going to be of excellent service to me he must be mature and self motivating.

I can completely understand what you are talking about, MagiksSlave.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 3:33:48 PM   
HutchGarahl


Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

OK I know I have seen this mentality a lot on thes forums. Aspecially in a thread that is going on right now that provoked me to start this thread regarding a "safe place" or subs only that seemed a little bit to much like the day care that parents drop their kids off while they work out in the gym. So often you see people compaering sub/slaves to children... such as with discapline and punishment and many other things. I want to know why?? Do you Doms not crave an adult partner who needs you yet can take care of themsevs if you arent there?? I dont get this and I for one know it makes me a little hot under the collar when someone does compare a sub/slave to a child. A child has no place in this lifestyle!! I feel it to be very demeaing and belittleing to be compared to a child. Am I the only one that thinks sub/slaves deserve more credit and respect then that??

Magik's slave


No your not hun. I have never treated a sub or slave as a child and never will. Anyone going under me better damn well know how to care for themselves or find another place to go. As much as I like having my subs and slaves, I like my privacy as well, and that means away from all. How can I have that if I constantly have to watch another?

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 3:41:59 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		A lot of subs don't exactly help the problem either. There is more than a small percentage of subs who ACT like children, who want to be taken care of, who don't want to have to be responsible for themselves and who get themselves taken care of by being immature and helpless. Most wont admit that though.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 3:44:53 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave
Am I the only one that thinks sub/slaves deserve more credit and respect then that??

Magik's slave


{raises hand} I'm with you. being a slave does NOT mean I am a child or have the mentality of one, quite opposite, I am 100% adult, I may act 'giggly' or 'playfull,' we all have our moods. Beign compared to a child is one BIG reason why I think ageplay is gross, it puts the bottom-type in that 'role' of a child and to be treated as such, its not my thing.

If a top [or anyone else for that matter] spends any amount of time speaking with me they would see I am clearly NOT  child. On my profile on match, I get commened for carrying myself older than my physical years.

Do I want my future partner to protect me, yes; do I want to be treated with respect, thats a given; do I want him to take/have control, of course.

I do think that soem bottom-types are mentally 'behind' the rest of the class, and they need to be treated as they act, yet, the rest of us are NOT behind everyone else, and we should not be treated as such.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 3:45:56 PM   
salilus


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline 		I would be worried for you if this sort of behaviour happened constantly and everyone had these mannerisms of which you speak.

Since it's not ubiquitous, I doubt you'll have a problem finding people to socialise with that will treat you in the manner you wish.

For some people, a total loss of control renders them childlike or, perhaps, there is some element of ageplay involved. I'm sure they believe their 'style' is as valid as the one you seek or currently enjoy.

< Message edited by salilus -- 5/25/2007 3:47:54 PM >

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 3:48:28 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

A lot of subs don't exactly help the problem either. There is more than a small percentage of subs who ACT like children, who want to be taken care of, who don't want to have to be responsible for themselves and who get themselves taken care of by being immature and helpless. Most wont admit that though.


But is this really beeing a sub/slave??
I mean we talk about people who say they are Doms just so they can get someone to do stuff for them but arent really interested in being Domanent. It goes the same for subs.. there are people who say they are subs because they dont want responsability and want to be taken care of that doesnt make them a sub makes them irresponsable and looking for an easy way out just like the person who says they are a Dom who just wants someone to mow their lawn..

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 3:48:30 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Well when reading your post it is pretty hard NOT to see you as a child. Is English your first language? If not then it's okay.. if English is your language would you at least try to use punctuation?
Spell check?
Proofread?
I've been reading here for months & you have yet to make a post even close to the basic rules of written communication.
You say you have dyslexia? You write more like someone DD.

So yeah it can be pretty easy to see you as totally immature and needy. Using several exclamation marks or question marks isn't the way adults type!!!! It looks hyper-active and I can almost hear your voice rising in pitch as I read.

You are treated the way you present yourself. Why don't you work on improving that instead of just whining about crap?

*Sliver, out.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 3:51:38 PM   
SliverOfLight


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/25/2007
Status: offline 		Heya Magickslave? That was NOT me typing. I'm in a hotel in a diff city and my freaking sister was playing/doing crap with my pc.
It was NOT me. I'm so so sorry, I couldn't get on the pc fast enough to edit. Gods I am sorry.

:( I'm using the bs profile she just made. I'm not sliveroflight I'm cj. Argh. This sucks.

'I' am sorry. I really really am.

~cj who wants to push her damn sister out the hotel window but it wont open.
I feel awful.

< Message edited by SliverOfLight -- 5/25/2007 3:53:12 PM >

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 3:54:29 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

Well when reading your post it is pretty hard NOT to see you as a child. Is English your first language? If not then it's okay.. if English is your language would you at least try to use punctuation?
Spell check?
Proofread?
I've been reading here for months & you have yet to make a post even close to the basic rules of written communication.
You say you have dyslexia? You write more like someone DD.

So yeah it can be pretty easy to see you as totally immature and needy. Using several exclamation marks or question marks isn't the way adults type!!!! It looks hyper-active and I can almost hear your voice rising in pitch as I read.

You are treated the way you present yourself. Why don't you work on improving that instead of just whining about crap?

*Sliver, out.


WOW whats with the personal attack?? I wasnt talking about how Im treated, as Master doesnt treat me like a child at all. I was talking about the way subs are portrayed and such on these boards. I often see them likend to children. I will not defend my spelling and grammer to you as I have no need. You dont like reading my posts then DONT. Cheep personal attacks are unbecomeing and paint you as the immature one not me. I dont know what your problem is as I have never attacked you as a person or anything but if you have a problem with me or how I write the block button works wonderfully, but I would apreaciate if you took your petty name calling els where.

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 5/25/2007 3:56:01 PM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 3:57:37 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Please fully read. The first post under cjenny was not me. Please read? I also Cmailed you.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 3:58:01 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SliverOfLight

Heya Magickslave? That was NOT me typing. I'm in a hotel in a diff city and my freaking sister was playing/doing crap with my pc.
It was NOT me. I'm so so sorry, I couldn't get on the pc fast enough to edit. Gods I am sorry.

:( I'm using the bs profile she just made. I'm not sliveroflight I'm cj. Argh. This sucks.

'I' am sorry. I really really am.

~cj who wants to push her damn sister out the hotel window but it wont open.
I feel awful.


Ok now Im confused!!!!



Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to SliverOfLight)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 3:58:44 PM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

A lot of subs don't exactly help the problem either. There is more than a small percentage of subs who ACT like children, who want to be taken care of, who don't want to have to be responsible for themselves and who get themselves taken care of by being immature and helpless. Most wont admit that though.


There is a world of difference between not having responsbility for things and acting like a child. I never act like a child, loathe that behavior and find the concept of a "safe space" at a play party beyond silly. I do like being taken care of and I do loathe any heavy responsibility and live a pretty responsibility free life, beyond household/child care type stuff..no money issues, no bill issues, don't care what the price of gas goes up too...that type of stuff. It is a somewhat child-like existence I guess but I'm not sure how that hurts anyone else. I also don't see what the issue with admitting it is. I don't see the connection between wanting and having a pretty worry free life and acting like a child or the connection to the "Safe space" post.


_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 4:00:49 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

A lot of subs don't exactly help the problem either. There is more than a small percentage of subs who ACT like children, who want to be taken care of, who don't want to have to be responsible for themselves and who get themselves taken care of by being immature and helpless. Most wont admit that though.


But is this really beeing a sub/slave??
I mean we talk about people who say they are Doms just so they can get someone to do stuff for them but arent really interested in being Domanent. It goes the same for subs.. there are people who say they are subs because they dont want responsability and want to be taken care of that doesnt make them a sub makes them irresponsable and looking for an easy way out just like the person who says they are a Dom who just wants someone to mow their lawn..

Magik's slave


While it may be acceptable to tell a man who says that they are a dominant that they are not; many see it as highly unacceptable to tell a woman that they are not submissive...

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 4:00:51 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: SliverOfLight

Heya Magickslave? That was NOT me typing. I'm in a hotel in a diff city and my freaking sister was playing/doing crap with my pc.
It was NOT me. I'm so so sorry, I couldn't get on the pc fast enough to edit. Gods I am sorry.

:( I'm using the bs profile she just made. I'm not sliveroflight I'm cj. Argh. This sucks.

'I' am sorry. I really really am.

~cj who wants to push her damn sister out the hotel window but it wont open.
I feel awful.


Ok now Im confused!!!!



Magik's slave


And I'm mad. Sigh. Check your cmail okay? I'm sending you a second one. Thanks

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 4:01:35 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not certain that this was the point of the thread (d-types treating their own s-types like children), and if so that probably wouldn't apply to me.

What I've seen a lot of, though, and it has stuck out in my mind, is that novice submissives get treated as children 'here' in the forums.  Sure, newbies need to have the appropriate time and space to learn and grow, granted.  But when we inadvertantly (or not) give relationship advice to a 40+ year-old submissive as if they have never been in a relationship with anyone before is absurd.

Just one opinion, amongst many.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 4:04:01 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

A lot of subs don't exactly help the problem either. There is more than a small percentage of subs who ACT like children, who want to be taken care of, who don't want to have to be responsible for themselves and who get themselves taken care of by being immature and helpless. Most wont admit that though.



Ding ding ding....we have a winner. A substantial portion of the submissive/slave community is what I refer to as "Cinderella Subs". They do not have the skills to be self reliant, have no urge to learn the skills to be self reliant, and can't run their own lives. The D/s "lifestyle" is perfect for them because they can claim that they're submissive.

There are Dominants out there that do want an adult relationship. Master equates me with an office manager. My role is to make his life smoother and easier. That means that I make decisions and don't ask for permission unless it's something I'm unsure about. He doesn't care how it gets there, as long as it gets there....and I'm trusted to be adult enough to get it there.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 5/25/2007 4:07:50 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 4:05:28 PM   
szobras


Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline 		 I think much comparitive views perhaps come from common things such as the idea of award and punishment, or consequence. The idea of authority and obedience. Teaching and nurturing, just for a few. Yes,these are things seen in the life of a child. However, they are also things seen in the life of all adults, regardless of orientation.
Sometimes adults do also act childish, but that's another reason altogether, and also is not limited to orientation.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 4:08:30 PM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

A lot of subs don't exactly help the problem either. There is more than a small percentage of subs who ACT like children, who want to be taken care of, who don't want to have to be responsible for themselves and who get themselves taken care of by being immature and helpless. Most wont admit that though.


But is this really beeing a sub/slave??
I mean we talk about people who say they are Doms just so they can get someone to do stuff for them but arent really interested in being Domanent. It goes the same for subs.. there are people who say they are subs because they dont want responsability and want to be taken care of that doesnt make them a sub makes them irresponsable and looking for an easy way out just like the person who says they are a Dom who just wants someone to mow their lawn..

Magik's slave


While it may be acceptable to tell a man who says that they are a dominant that they are not; many see it as highly unacceptable to tell a woman that they are not submissive...

Knight's kyra



I guess what I don't follow is if you live absolutely under the authority of another person, if you completely subservient to his/her dominating influence, then how exactly are you not being submissive? The motivation behind it doesn't define it as submission, the act of submitting does.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Sub/slave=child - 5/25/2007 4:13:35 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		Heck, the reason i don't have a slave now is because i haven't found one i feel is mature Enough to suit my needs. No babies wanted here, or doormats either. I need someone who is strong enough and secure enough in themselves to yield to me

_____________________________

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be


(in reply to szobras)
Profile   Post #: 20
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