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RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? - 3/13/2007 4:58:34 PM   
bastardandthewen


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/3/2006
Status: offline 		Bastard and I "met" on another online forum system in 2002. We began some sort of an "online relationship" within a few months of first chatting. We spent nearly two years in this fashion; we each occasionall dated others casually, but kep t returning to the online thing, being drawn back to the other person and fustrated with the distance seperating us. I was in Norway, then in tyhe UK and he was in Australia.

Daily, we had msn at work, and supplimented this with webcam chats in the evening, and hours-long phone calls several times a week. We decided a year into this that we have to physically get together, and so began plans. It took nearly a year to make the arrangements, and so once I sorted out my own life and details, I hopped on aplane to australia.

It was a risky move, but everything went exactly as we planned. there were no surprises, no bumps in the plan, and no issues after meeting finally. That was 2004; we were married a year later.

(in reply to asyouwishmaster)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? - 3/13/2007 5:00:59 PM   
RWAble


Posts: 282
Joined: 1/5/2007
Status: offline 		Congrats


_____________________________

When the Yankees leave Florida, then we can be free.

Life is a voyage, not a destination.

(in reply to bastardandthewen)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? - 3/13/2007 5:23:18 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Fast Reply

Even though this is an old thread, there may be some who do not know the history between me, my Lord and alandra.

My Lord and I met online in early November 2004 and spent six months getting to know each other through chat, email and phone.  I flew to visit him and alandra at the end of April 2005.  This year we will celebrate our two year anniversary in San Antonio and hopefully next year we can celebrate it by moving me to Canada.

The spark that existed through chat, email and the phone was even more intense in person.  What helped is that we were completely honest about who we are with each other and we had realistic expectations for the relationship.  We both waited until meeting each other in person before expressing how we felt and deciding to committ to a relationship together. 

The distance does not make it easy sometimes, but none of us can imagine our lives without each other.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to RWAble)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? - 3/13/2007 6:45:12 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
The spark that existed through chat, email and the phone was even more intense in person.  What helped is that we were completely honest about who we are with each other and we had realistic expectations for the relationship.  We both waited until meeting each other in person before expressing how we felt and deciding to committ to a relationship together. 


That has always been my view. The internet can give you a relaxed anonymity that allows truth on deep levels. But just as Kyra and Knight, I wouldn't want to limit things to only the internet. Yes, it does help to get to know each other in a unique way.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? - 3/13/2007 6:50:03 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I met my male sub in an online game we were friends and played the game for a long time before it moved to anything else. We've been together IRL 2 years now and had spent 2 years getting to know each other. So yes it can happen, you just take it slow and meet face to face.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to asyouwishmaster)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? - 3/13/2007 6:51:24 PM   
BlackWomanSubNJ


Posts: 54
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		It just goes both ways. So do my feelings about long time chatting online.  I prefer to do online and phone for a few weeks and then meet.  Just enough time for most of the lies to get exposed.

I met one so called Dom after this amount of time and he turned out to be just some nerd desperate for some ass.  I met another who lied about his height. He said he was 5'9" and he was shorter than me at 5'7". Then I met the one who just had a panty fetish.

I try not to drag things out too long because then it will be too disappointing when you meet in person and then find out these things months into the association.

My first succesful meeting happened after about 3 or 4 weeks of online and phone conversations. When that ended I was discouraged with what I ran into online and stopped even trying for a couple of years.

The next one I met after only a couple of weeks and I had great hopes of success, but then I found out he was in a "situation" where we could never be alone together. Needless to say, that could not work.

I met my current Dom after about 6 weeks of mostly phone conversations.  The first thought that went through my head was "there is no BS  here." And i was right. It's been extremely challenging as he demands much more  than the previous two. 

Anyway, I've found that it's not much different from vanilla meetings online.  People have agendas. People lie and misrepresent themselves.  Only after much time and effort will you likely find a suitable situation.  It's important to talk with other people and be aware of warning signs.

_____________________________

My purpose is to learn to fullfill His desires, in the hope that He will become my Master and own me completely.

(in reply to asyouwishmaster)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? - 3/13/2007 7:32:57 PM   
MasterGremlin


Posts: 230
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline 		My Master and I met 9 years ago last Dec online.  W/we went from talking to cyber to emailing stories and fantasies to each and then to talking on the phone and phone sex.  After about 3 or 4 months He flew to the state I lived in to meet me in person.  A month later I flew to see Him.  I moved in with Him that June and W/we were married a year later.  It has been almost 9 years since I moved in with Him and almost 8 years that W/we have been married. 
W/we were in love before W/we even saw a picture of each other so by the time W/we did exchange pics, W/we were both wowed.  O/our first sexual experience with each other in person was very vanilla and rather awkward as He is ...uh...well hung and I am very small.  For me, it was like being a virgin all over again and wasn't much fun for Him as He really couldn't get in.....  But, W/we kept trying and I ended up walking bowlegged for a few days   But it was just as exciting (if not more) than the cyber sex W/we had been having and it has continued to grow over the years. 
Cordially,
minxy

(in reply to asyouwishmaster)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? - 3/13/2007 7:57:33 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: asyouwishmaster
I want to clarify though. I'm talking about long term online, very intense online, really getting to know someone, investing time, both online and on the phone, and then meeting. Was the click there in person that was there in cyber? And if you would, please include how much time you invested online before meeting.


To put it quite simply. NO!

I have never had an online to realtime thing work out. I have had several "relationships" where I spent anywhere from 4-8 weeks getting to know the person, talking everyday on the phone, multiple times per day online perhaps, doing some preliminary training, blah blah blah. It never worked. It rarely ever made it past the first encounter before the guy either disappeared entirely (poof!) or decided to re-evaluate his desires to be involved in bdsm.

My rule of thumb is no long, drawn out internet courtships. Some of my friends told me to stop meeting people online entirely. My most successful time with people from online has been with those that I meet nearly immediately after talking to online. No time wasted, cut to the chase. I am still friends with several people from CM whom I met IRL after a week or less of chatting.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to asyouwishmaster)
Profile   Post #: 48
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