slavegirljoy
Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006 From: North Carolina, USA Status: offline
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Fast (not brief) Reply: TPE is a totally pointless expression, IF it has no relevance in your life. It isn't pointless to me. Everything is relative, including power. A person can have power in one situation and be quite powerless in another. Also, there are different types of power. Of course, i have individual power and i don't lose that power when i enter into a relationship, even one that is considered (by me and my Master) to be TPE. After all, i am not in a Total Power Draining relationship. Every person has their own individual power, including me. But, there is also a relationship power that exists only within and only because of the relationship. It is a new power that is formed by 2 or more people putting their individual power together into their relationship, for the purpose of achieving a common goal. How that relationship power is used is dependent on the power structure of that particular relationship. Also, within the relationship, there is a balance of power, that, in many relationships, fluctuates between the people within the relationship because there is no clearly defined and agreed-upon power structure and, because there is rarely (if ever) a relationship where all of the people involved have equal power. They may decide to share the power or split the power equally but, that is a decision that they made for the benefit of the relationship. That doesn't mean that they each have equal power. Instead, it means that one person is choosing to give up a portion of their power (for the benefit of the relationship), since they come into the relationship having more power, and the other is gaining some power (as a result of the sharing of power), because they come into the relationship having less power. In my relationship, and i am speaking about my relationship only, i have chosen to give control over my power to my Master, in order for Him to be in charge. In other words, i haven't given Him my power, i have given Him control over my power and He decides how it should be used and when and to what extent. He and i agreed to this power structure, right from the beginning. It is based on Him being at the top of the power structure and me being under Him. Within our relationship, He has the position of power over me and He has the position of power over the relationship. There is no fluctuation of power because there is no power struggle between us and there is no question about who is the one with the control over all of the power, in this relationship. In order to avoid or, at least reduce conflict, in our relationship, He and i agreed that He would be the one in charge. He would be the final decision maker in all matters pertaining to me and to our relationship. It has been my choice to never challenge Him on His decisions and to never attempt to take control of the power over the relationship from Him. This is what's true for the way me and my Master function as a M/s couple. This is what TPE means in our relationship. He has full control of the power, within our relationship, and this gives Him the authority to make the final decisions on all matters regarding me and our relationship. The exchange comes into it because i have given up my right to maintain control over my power, within the relationship, over to Him in exchange for the benefits i receive from being in this relationship. He has Total Power over me and our relationship, per our mutual desire to live this way. i don't give up any of my individual power. i relinquished to Him any and all claims to ever take control of power in this relationship. He doesn't micromanage me because that would be very tiresome for Him and completely unnecessary, since i have earned His trust and confidence, over the course of the past 2 1/2 years, to the point that He feels certain that i will 1) do what i am supposed to do, whether or not He is present to see me and, 2) not do anything that would violate His rules, requirements or, expectations of me. i am still the same person i was when i entered this relationship. i haven't lost anything. Instead, i have gained a greater sense of confidence and surety about myself and about my place in this world. And, that, along with the sense of security i get from knowing that i belong to someone, who i believe in and who is there to support me, gives me more power than i ever had before, either as an individual or as a part of a relationship. This greater power that i receive, from being in this relationship, goes directly back into the relationship and under the control of my Master, who uses it wisely and for the benefit of both of us. If someone else wants to say that my relationship is not what i and my Master say it is but, in actuality, it is a Total Authority Transfer relationship or, an Ultimate Authority Transfer relationship or a DAISADCM (do as i say and don't challenge me) relationship, so be it. It makes no difference in how my Master and i see our relationship or in how we define it or describe it. i don't know who first coined the term, TPE, and, for all i know, my perspective on what it means may be very different from how the originator looks at it. As far as i can tell, there is no "official" definition of what a TPE relationship is and, as is the case with other terms, such as "slave" and even "BDSM", there are many different perspectives and definitions available and none, in my opinion, is any more universally right or wrong than any other. Maybe TPE isn't the best term to use for M/s relationships. Maybe there isn't any one term that is best to use. But, this is the one that i and my Master choose to use for our relationship. And so, the debate continues and probably will, so long as there are people who want to see a total abolishment to the use of the TPE term. BTW: Much of this might be redundant but, i felt it was important to express my thoughts on this as completely as i possibly could. And, this took me a lot longer to write than it will take anyone to read. Plus, i have voiced my views. So, i feel better. joy Owned (another term that stirs controversy) servant of Master David
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