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kc692 -> RE: Reality Check (5/22/2005 8:11:53 PM)
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I cannot believe this, I was just checking spacing and spelling, and cancelled whole reply, so here goes again from my caffeine starved brain...I hope I can remember it all..I worked 45 minutes on the first one
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ORIGINAL: realist
Thanks to all for your responses. I had a great weekend and hope you all did too.
It was claimed I'm new here. No, this is my third nickname. I've been aware of this site for years. Though, I have not participated in some time.
Why your third nickname ? Is it because:
1) You were labeled as a troublemaker under the other names, and wished to try a fresh start?
2) You know longer believe some of your posts, so want to start under a new name, so noone will see you contradicting yoursef anywhere on the posts?
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It was claimed I'm bitter or upset, no I'm not. I'm delivering editorial comment for good reason.
It was said I'm frustrated, no I'm not. I'm a very happy person with a great family life, lovelife, and sexlife. (listed in order of importance)
It was asked, if this site doesn't have what I want, why am I here? To make the public statement that BDSM lifestyle mythology held online precludes participation by the vast majority of our community.
If I might cut and paste some of your profile:
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I offer friendship and the possibility of play if I and someone else are compatible and mutually interested.
That doesn't sound like your lovelife, and sexlife (in that order) must be very great, or at the very least you seek something else to complete it, since according to you the lifestyle is all about sex. It also doesn't sound like you put up that profile with the predetermined notion of making a public statement of BDSM.
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There are a couple dozen posters here, several hundred active profiles at Collarme.com, and tens of millions of BDSM enthusiasts not participating in this site. It is perfectly fair and logical to ask why that is and attempt to find answers.
I myself have just found out about it, and joined immediately and have stayed here under one nickname. I also have 2 friends that I told about it, and as soon as they got online and roamed around the site a little but, they joined immediately also. So, I think it is because they do not know about the site.
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[there is an empirically obvious separation of human sexuality and the rest of life. It's a common sense argument to note that one is not sexual or holding a sex role while performing acts that are not sexual, like driving a car, parenting, working a career, paying the bills, eating food, or playing a sport. A sub or dom you may indeed be, in exclusively sexual regards, but in the rest of life, the vast majority of your lifetime, you are anything but that sexual being. Thus, 24/7 does not and cannot exist.
If 24/7 did exist, then no act by the participants would have a non-sexual nature to it. That would be an overwhelming obsession and not at all psychologically healthy. Try the same with food and you'll not survive it. Claiming infinite sexual being is really just a competition to see who's the most sexually elite, the most submissively or dominantly "pure", or a veritable sexual authority. This becomes absurd when one considers the question of how purely sexual people perform any non-sexual function. This becomes arbitrary and contrived when we ask what career is good, or what car make, or what side dish with dinner, is the proper choice for the 24/7 player.
!!!????!?!?!?!?!? Noone told me the lifestyle was all about sex and only sex , has someone told you that? I have a male slave applicant that served two lesbian dommes for over a year, and got no sex in return. He provided services for them, and truly enjoyed it, and never once had sex with them. So, he was available 24/7, and no sex. And he has offered the same to me.. Explain that, please...
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None of that, or the bulk of life, is sexual. If one wishes to claim otherwise, they have a significant burden of proof required to back the claim.
I have not see anyone claim that on the threads here, have you?
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I think they'll merely do as all UFO abductees have, and claim that because they've lived it, you can take their word for it.
Whether I believe or or not in what they believe in, does that give me the right to belittle them??? Do I agree with what everyone says on these boards? Hell no!! Do I belittle them"?No, not mosttimes. I think most people here take the stance to respectfully agree to disagree.
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The grave problem online then is the collective reification of desired mythology by the tiny vocal minority. An excellent myth-induced common statement epitomizing this phenomenon is when people list their hard limits and add "no scat, and no kids". If those are even in your sexual universe, you're either destined for disease or considering the possibility being a criminal of the lowest order, by going just a tad too far, thus the hard limits must be stated online as such. These are the statements of people who do not have real world experience, just online adherence to popular mythology.
I definitely agree with you about the children, but:
I had a sub applicant that for a myriad of reasons I did not feel would be compatible with me. He was being considered for FEMA Director for an area near here, and full time EMT. He was also a dedicated toilet slave, and stated that unless there was illness, all waste products coming from the body were sterile, and safe. Now, not my cup of tea, so I'm glad we discussed that. I also feel like he know what he was talking about. Apparently it is some folks' cup of tea though, so I don't see how that is unreasonable to discuss.
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There is no greater case of mental pretending than "cybersex". It's not sex, it's typing about sex. A typed description of a car is not a car. A typed description of sex is not sex.
I don't think anyone disagrees with you on this, however, some folks like the pretending and/or cybersex. Who are you to judge?
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Why do the vast majority of BDSMers not come here?
I don't know..can you ask all of them? I'm sure one or two may not have internet, don't you? Again, a lot also do not know of this site.
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How come so many who do soon leave and never return? What drives them away or causes them to never interact online?
Where do you get these kernels of supposed truth? How do you know how many leave and do not return? How do you know how long they stay? CM's numbers grow every day, so for every one of the few that leave have many more come to take their place. What numbers, and where are you quoting them from? Some never interact online, just because they like reading and do not post. I have had applicants tell me about some posts or mine in threads they have seen and read, and they have never posted. They just aren't the type to get on the boards with writing. Some don't have the time to do anything but read, and not have the time I have spent on this post. If you check out number of views to actual posts on threads, you will see that a lot of people are looking, even if they aren't writing.
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where seeking money from exploiting someone's kinks is called a valid fetish and never raw greed, and only those ready to relocate and give up all financial assets are "for real".
I have never asked someone to relocate although some have requested to, and have never asked someone to give up financial assets,. but if one did, and another accepted, what business is it of yours?
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The thing I don't like about all that is, more than the fact it's just pretended bullshit, more than anything else, is that it drives away regular, well grounded reasonable people who are good parents to their kids, who haveI good jobs, who have rich and rewarding lives, who make good friends, who don't stoop to argue trivia,
Here we go with those rash sweeping generalizations that start to put peoples' intelligence to question when they utter them..I have 2 grown children with good jobs( I assume you think they are good if the jobs pay well, so I still think they qualify)and they have wonderful spouses. My spouse and I have been together for 16 years, we have 3 grandchildren, I own my own business, and have a career that in my first year, won a professional award at being the best in my field in an area with 70,000 plus people. I have few good friends, because I use that term sparingly, however I have numerous good aquaintances.
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who save badmouthing an individual (like me, for example) for when it's really needed and the matter is important, and who make no tie whatsoever between how much money you have and whether or not they're sexually interested in you. (do you understand the listed assets in my profile now?)
No, I don't. Do you really think anyone thought that income figure was real???? It just looks obnoxious..
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I do well at munches. I have never met one person from a munch who expected another to relocate, give up all assets, live a 24/7 sexlife, be a "true slave", or called typing a form of sex. I did meet one guy once who said Gor was a viable lifestyle. He got very upset when I asked him if I could pet his Larl kittycat.
People don't like it when you tell them their pretending is pretend.
Do you really do well? I can't see that. I would think that you belittling people would not further you in their graces. Maybe they just don't discuss too many ideals with you. Just for the record again..I have never asked someone to relocate, give up all their assets, live a 24/7 sex life(after all, I have to work), and never called typing sex. Typing is hard work going back and fixing your typos.However, if someone asks one to do those things and that one agrees, again what business is it of yours?
There are bs people, rakers, and realists not only in this lifestyle, but in vanilla also. I would daresay the ratio of bad to good overall is the same..People are human, good, bad or ugly. They are all different, and no group can be fairly labeled as always being one thing or another.
I know I had other salient points in the first post, maybe I will remember them again, after some sleep.
I gotta admit, I'm really curious why you change names, genders, and roles when you want to on profiles....so,,, are you truly a realist????
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