Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

it IS easier to lie online


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> it IS easier to lie online Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 11:59:09 AM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		Reading a book about the structure of the brain and how it related to emotion etc... I found a very interesting paragraph i wanted to share with you all. We've all supposed that people lie online because they can, but this shows online communication actually leads our brains to desire to lie. First a definition:

aprosodia (damage to right-hemisphere of brain and inability to comprehend emotional aspects of speech) ie. not being able to understand inflection in the voices of others.

"While damamge to the right temporal neocortex is fairly rare, millions of people experience daily aprosodia in their email. At night all cats are gray, and in e-mail everyone is aprosodic, because the medium consists of curt sentences lacking emotional inflections. This is why people misunderstand one another so readily by e-mail, and why it is so much easier to lie on the Internet than in other social interactions. minus the perceptible cues of voice tone, eye contact, and expression, email so lends itself to emotional deception that people assume outrageously fabricated identities, simply because they can."

Might also explain why there is so much misunderstanding on these boards.....

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 12:02:47 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		Excellent thread!  And... no shit....

i cannot count how many e-mails i've sent (and vice versa) that, because of the lack of tone or emotion in the e-mail it was misunderstood.  The reverse is also true; however.  i have also sent e-mail where the tone was very clearly understood, absolutely no mistaking it. 

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 12:06:04 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I do believe lack of voice inflection leads to misunderstandings.  I've always felt that way.  

I really believe that someone who lies in email or online in general is going to do so otherwise as well.  I hardly think someone caught in an "online lie" has the right to say "but the computer made me do it" and "it only happens online...I never lie in person".  To me this is passing the buck, not taking responsibility for your actions and not having accountability.  All things I care to pass by when choosing a partner.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 12:13:40 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		I don't condone lying online or off, but i do think there is a greater tendency to hold back details or not share as much of yourself wiith someone who can't see you. I know i am more hesitant to trust and open up to someone online much of the time, but in person when i can see their reaction, i am more likely to go into more detail.

The big lies though are just not forgivable at some point. After 6 month, oh yeah i ahve something to tell you...I'm not really divorced, just separated...and i have 3 children.  Ok now when i've opened up to this person about my child and they have shown interest in her life, and acted like they cared but then  when i find out they have kids they never talk about??? Just very weird

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 3:08:48 PM   
MstrWrite


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		i find that sometimes the opposite is true. it's easier to be honest online than off. if you're so inclined, it's much easier to open up to someone you do not know and will not meet face to face. if by chance you should one day meet face to face, they know the best and worst of you already. i imagine many of your families and best friends don't know of your bdsm interests, but you feel free to open up to strangers online about it. does that mean that computers make us more likely to tell the truth? i don't think so. i guess i agree with the statement above that people who lie will lie online. honest people won't. and the medium has little to do with it.

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 3:15:51 PM   
LadyPaige


Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think a lot of people consider on-line communiction just another role playing game, and they really don't care if the person on the other end is playing or not.  Here they can be anything they want, and they are.  There's no accountability, so therefore a dishnonest person has no reason not to be.

(in reply to MstrWrite)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 3:16:04 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		I have been online for over 12 years now.
I think you need to define what you mean by "lies".
Many lie by "omission", especially in the beginning.
Do we owe it to total strangers to immediately tell everything about ourselves, on demand?
I think not.
It really does take a lot of communication, time and effort to really know anyone "well".
I don't see any shortcuts here.
I have had many "submissives" get mad at me because I don't tell them "all about me" immediately and
on demand.
Why should I?
I am the type I rather hold back a lot of information about myself, then lie.
I will open up and tell you, when and IF I care to open up and tell you things.
By the way---->I fucking love the internet.
You can have a lot of fun here.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 5/28/2007 3:38:39 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 3:17:04 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		It's easier to lie online, but it's also easier to tell the truth...it's also easier to order pizza.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 3:18:21 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

It's easier to lie online, but it's also easier to tell the truth...it's also easier to order pizza.


Again, I will say I don't know that I owe total strangers "the truth", about a lot of things
in my life.
Sorry.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 3:21:35 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		Oh, I didn't say anyone "owed" anyone anything. If you feel the need to keep something to yourself, then by all means, do so. It's your life and your call.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 3:22:37 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Good, I have this habit that I love, its called "living and breathing".
I prefer to err on the side of caution.
I also try to follow the same advice I would give a UM, or anyone I care about
when online, and that is to be careful.
Many women need to play IT a lot safer then men, if they are smart.
I would add, that it is not only just easier to lie, it is also easier to trust a liar online
and many have the stories to tell about their relationships with liars. 

< Message edited by MzMia -- 5/28/2007 3:32:40 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 3:23:33 PM   
Teachme59


Posts: 47
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline 		A agree with MstrWrite..at least it is true in my case. I have told people online some of my deepest secrets. I would not dream of telling those secrets to the same person face to face in the same circumstance. I guess that makes me a little bit of a coward but not out of the ordinary.
Of course the problem is there is equal opportunity for deception and not being able to see expression and posture makes it hard to figure which is which.
So we must all beware.
Butch

(in reply to MstrWrite)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 3:31:35 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think its all too easy for misunderstandings to occur, for exactly the points made by others. Lies are a different thing though, being online will not make an honest person start to lie. Most ( almost all ) honest people wont lie, be it online, on the phone, in snail mail, or offline. All the internet does is make it easier for liars to get away with things, as you dont get to see the body language or hear the voice.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 4:12:06 PM   
Ayanaev717


Posts: 72
Status: offline 		Very good point.

The mind has a difficult time understanding words and based on our own cognition we read into certain words. The reason for misunderstandings is because certain words have certain meanings and therefore give us certain feelings. For example Johnny age 8 was told "you need to talk better," as a form of scolding, because he always spoke softly.  Johnny now age 34 e-mails a Domme and reads, "you need to communicate better." His minds goes back to age 8 and feels the feelings he felt back then which could have been shame, but now as an adult and in control- he bites back at the Domme, "I communicate better than you and I don't have time for gameplayers." So the mind uses what we already know and feel to understand words.

Excellent posting.

A

< Message edited by Ayanaev717 -- 5/28/2007 4:15:41 PM >

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 4:20:32 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Hello Ayanaev and welcome!
Have you also been accused of being a liar and a game player?
I am starting a CM support group for Dominants that have routinely been called:
liars, men pretending to be women, and/or game players.
Ya wanna join?

< Message edited by MzMia -- 5/28/2007 4:21:01 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Ayanaev717)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 4:25:05 PM   
Ayanaev717


Posts: 72
Status: offline 		Thank you for the welcome MzMia

I have been screamed at and called everything under the sun. I have gotten a lot of pretenders and a lot of powerplayers. So my time is often spent deleting and giving a good sound, "put u in your place."

Sure would love to join your group.

A

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 4:30:32 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		LMAO, welcome my little chocolate cupcake.
You will find that many of the men that call themselves "submissive",
are far from it.
Especially when crossed or rejected.
But, there are some sweet ones around also, like politesub.
Welcome to the forums.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 5/28/2007 4:32:38 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Ayanaev717)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 4:35:43 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

LMAO, welcome my little chocolate cupcake.
You will find that many of the men that call themselves "submissive",
are far from it.
Especially when crossed or rejected.
But, there are some sweet ones around also, like politesub.
Welcome to the forums.


Sheesh ive gone all red...... Thanks for the compliment Maam

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 4:43:53 PM   
homme100


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Mz

Of course it is easier since the other does not see that you blush. Apart from that, non-verbal communication or listening to a voice is a necessary complement and  control mechanism in your quest for truth. That is why, in my humble opinion, the internet is so popular: it can be a make believe for those who go for that... We all want to impress which is fine but encompasses  emphasizing our positive sides and being silent about the not so positive aspects.
I would not consider this a lie, it is the normal approach between human beings. Another question is  you  being asked a specific question (age for example) and you do not tell the truth...
To request that somebody tells you "all" about her/him is ludicrous ..to know about the other is a process that cannot be broken down in whatever number of bits of information.





(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: it IS easier to lie online - 5/28/2007 4:44:39 PM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with almost everything you said Spanklette, but for the pizza part. They don't do that where I live .

And thank you, Hereyesuponyou, it is nice to know the reason for so many missunderstanding online. I personally think the lying comes from the "no one's real" belief some people have. That they're not hurting anyone with their lies. Thank you again.


quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

It's easier to lie online, but it's also easier to tell the truth...it's also easier to order pizza.

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> it IS easier to lie online Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094