RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (Full Version)

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kyraofMists -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/28/2007 5:23:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WeyrlingMaster

Oh, and I'm not whining - I am, however, asking a question.  And I am finding it quite instructional as to how many  people seem to think that posing a thought for discussion is whining.  Or do they REALLY think there are no fakes etc. on this site?


Stick around and read the message boards for a couple of weeks and you will see that the word fake usually just means not a match for me.  You will also see that we get at least one new thread a week (if not more) that people don't respond to emails the way others want them to. 

It is the internet and there are many different types of people on here.  Allowing them to have any serious impact on your behaviors and choices would be foolish.  Enjoy the positives and don't sweat the rest.

Knight's kyra



OsideGirl -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/28/2007 6:01:10 PM)

You've contradicted yourself here.
quote:

ORIGINAL: WeyrlingMaster
And I would point out that I am ONLY looking for those who say that they are interested in Dom/Dom(me) couples and are bisexual. 


quote:

ORIGINAL: WeyrlingMaster
And any sub/slave would NOT be expected to do anything with My partner unless they wanted and agreed to.
According to your profile you do expect them to do things with your partner.

Here's the rub....even if you're saying to the new submissive that she doesn't have to do anything with the Domme, the Domme is still involved in the realtionship and on top of that has her own exclusive relationship.

The fact that you never state what role the submissive would be in your life, other than "serve Me primarily but also my Partner at times." You heartily state that you love your partner and won't leave her for anybody. That's nice, but it leaves the new submissive feeling second class and as something easily thrown away. Would you volunteer to go into a relationship that will be effected by the whims of someone not in it? If you expect someone to invest in a relationship with you, you need to invest something as well. You never once address what you offer and where this person fits in. Personally, I would have passed on you as well, based on your profile.

Just because someone isn't interested in you and deletes or doesn't respond, doesn't make them lairs or fakes. It just makes them someone who is not interested in you.



dawntreader -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/28/2007 6:11:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: szobras

Is it just Me, or has anyone else found that being honest/telling the truth gets you nowhere fast?
I do know honesty and telling the truth has gotten me where I am, and eventually where I want to be.


i agree...at times i have arrived at a very hard place because of this but it was obviously where i was meant to be~



shyinini -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/28/2007 6:24:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: szobras

Is it just Me, or has anyone else found that being honest/telling the truth gets you nowhere fast?
I do know honesty and telling the truth has gotten me where I am, and eventually where I want to be.


i agree...at times i have arrived at a very hard place because of this but it was obviously where i was meant to be~


Dawn, I was reading your posts over on the Gor site, trying to explain YOUR truth about your "identity".......might I say MHO?
why is it so hard for people to just accept we are multi~faceted people~ not liars and dishonesty and fakes?
Loki and the Mistress have plans for you ... you accept them.  I respect that.
But why the hell do others need to antagonize like you are not who you say you are...... I dont get it. 
 
You go girl...you just be who you are and let the others drool with W/E that they aint you !  [:)] 

Sirs adored pet



hereyesruponyou -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/28/2007 6:29:04 PM)

I had a lot more mail when i was just seeking a sub/slave before my partner was involved. But once i realized that no matter whether he plays with us or not, he will be a part of the equation, i made sure to put that into the profile. The curbing of useless mail was seen as a benefit for me. Less people i have to weed out. And having a primary relationship already means i am in no hurry to settle for less than what i really want.  Do you think perhaps you are more impatient because your partner has an estabilished secondary relationship?COuld this be a side effect of jealousy of the time taken away from you? Not accusing or judging...it reminds me of my relationship with my daughter. As she has grown and started her own life not needing me as much (ie got her license and started exploring her independence) i found i wanted more to fill my free time i suddenly had.

My suggestion is be patient and remember the ones who just delete you are saving you having to turn them down after you talk. Best of luck on your search



Faramir -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/28/2007 7:02:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WeyrlingMaster

Oh, and I'm not whining - I am, however, asking a question.  And I am finding it quite instructional as to how many  people seem to think that posing a thought for discussion is whining.  Or do they REALLY think there are no fakes etc. on this site?


Actually, you are whining.  And bitching and crying because other autonomous humans aren't doing what you want.  You are the 342d Male Dom posting and crying about how submissive woman are deleting your emails unread.  To salve your wounded pride, you are construction their rejection of you, their utter lack of interest in you, as "dishonoesty."

Get over it and stop being a crybaby, as it is making you look like...a crybaby.  Face it--these girls are just not interested in you.  Whether it's because they find you unnatractive, or don't want poly, or just didn't like your nic, tough nutz, pal.  No one here owes you a fucking thing.

Grow up, stop crying, and act like an adult.



livenlearn -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/28/2007 7:37:36 PM)

quote:

Is it just Me, or has anyone else found that being honest/telling the truth gets you nowhere fast?

It must be you, because I have found that honesty beats dishonesty hands down every time.
quote:

  But I am noticing a high number of people who delete mail unread having not even looked at My full profile.


Perhaps they do not need to look at your full profile to know that they are not interested.
quote:

  Having been in the lifestyle for more years than I care to think about I am becoming painfully aware that there seem to be many more fakes and players than there used to be.

How odd. For my short time learning, I have found that most are sincere and upfront to the point of being brutal. Maybe I just have not been around long enough to run into the kind that you obviously have? Or perhaps, I just accept people as they are, without making snap judgements about those whom I have never met face to face.
 
Personally, if you are so disenchanted with all the 'fakes and players' that are here, maybe it's time to step off the pedastal that you seem to occupy? Just because you may be interested in someone does not mean that they must return that interest.



spankmepink11 -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/28/2007 7:41:59 PM)

To avoid getting unwanted emails, i simply stated i wasn't looking, absolving myself from the responsibility of answering.  I left the pictures up without a thought, until i started receiving emails stating if i wasn't looking, then i shouldn't have pictures up. I took the pictures down and now I'm enjoying a blissful existence,  exchanging emails on occasion with fellow posters  whom i enjoy reading and offer a side comment and they generally comment back .  This makes my world is a very happy place because i don't  have to complain about rude emails, inappropriate emails, people who don't read my profile...etc. etc.

If i have a particular interest in someone  here,  i still have the option of opening an honest  dialog, but  I'm pretty tuned out to the profile side.   It just doesn't appeal to me.


edited for spell check...because i'm anal like that...



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/28/2007 7:59:42 PM)

Aw you guys already got great answers.

But mine, as usual, is that the real question the OP should be asking himself is "How are all these other great guys getting to meet great women and getting involved in great relationships, when we're all fishing in the same pond?  What am I doing wrong?"



juliaoceania -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/28/2007 8:41:25 PM)

quote:

Is it just Me, or has anyone else found that being honest/telling the truth gets you nowhere fast?


I guess it may get you no where, and that depends on where you wanted to go in the first place... the truth usually gets me where I want to be, but then again I am a journey gal, not a destination one.

quote:

I am getting so fed up of people who state things on their profiles that they dont mean, such as 'will welcome any approach for chat from anybody over age xx' or 'looking for ltr with Dom/Domme or both. Really very open minded as to how and who I may serve' or variations on the theme.

As I don't do one-liners when approaching a sub/slave, preferring to go for the more informative approach, I am now starting to wonder why I bother or indeed why if My profile is too blunt and honest for people. 



I suppose if you are going about your search in a way that does not honor how you enjoy spending your time it would seem cumbersome to you. Again, if you are not enjoying the journey the destination always seems farther than it is. We tend to get what we look for too, and if you are looking to find negative things, they will definitely appear. If a person focuses on whatever positive there is, that is usually what is in their daily existence.




Evanesce -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/28/2007 8:52:45 PM)

I look at it this way.  You're looking for a specific type of person, to fit into a specific type of relationship.  Relationships are difficult enough without all the nuances of BDSM thrown in, but add in the fetishes and specilized needs, wants, desires and lifestyles, and it can get pretty close to trying to find that needle in a haystack. 
 
In all the years I've had an ad on alt and/or collarme (nearly 10), I can count on one hand the number of contacts I've had from individuals whose needs and interests were compatible with my own.  One of those was the Kaptin.  In the last couple years of being on CM, just one person contacted me seriously, and it didn't even come close to working out.  But the ad is still there, and I'm still looking for that ideal houseboy or girl to join our household/family.  Do I look at the others as liars and fakes?  Heck no!  They're just looking for something I'm not offering.



Wildfleurs -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/28/2007 9:10:55 PM)

To aptly quote Artie Lange from the Howard Stern show

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah



LafayetteLady -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/28/2007 9:24:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

You've contradicted yourself here.
quote:

ORIGINAL: WeyrlingMaster
And I would point out that I am ONLY looking for those who say that they are interested in Dom/Dom(me) couples and are bisexual. 


quote:

ORIGINAL: WeyrlingMaster
And any sub/slave would NOT be expected to do anything with My partner unless they wanted and agreed to.
According to your profile you do expect them to do things with your partner.

Here's the rub....even if you're saying to the new submissive that she doesn't have to do anything with the Domme, the Domme is still involved in the realtionship and on top of that has her own exclusive relationship.

The fact that you never state what role the submissive would be in your life, other than "serve Me primarily but also my Partner at times." You heartily state that you love your partner and won't leave her for anybody. That's nice, but it leaves the new submissive feeling second class and as something easily thrown away. Would you volunteer to go into a relationship that will be effected by the whims of someone not in it? If you expect someone to invest in a relationship with you, you need to invest something as well. You never once address what you offer and where this person fits in. Personally, I would have passed on you as well, based on your profile.

Just because someone isn't interested in you and deletes or doesn't respond, doesn't make them lairs or fakes. It just makes them someone who is not interested in you.


Oside, have you forgotten that if someone is a "master/dominant" then everyone must respond to them out of respect of their position?  That OUR interest is of no relevance? 

The "I am Master, hear me roar" mentality of the OP has been nearly the most amusing thing I have read all day.  Obviously his concept IS that as a sub/slave, you are second class and easily thrown away.  I honestly can't understand why every unattached sub is not try to get to him immediately.  (for those who missed it, YES, I am being sarcastic).



WeyrlingMaster -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/29/2007 1:22:33 AM)

LaffayeteLady - Thank you sooooo much for your wonderfully incisive comments about my psychology.  If you can find any evidence to back up your claim that I expect a response simply because I am a Dom, please do.  And a question for you, Faramir and the others claiming that I am simply whining, blubbering or whatever. 

When did it become such a crime to ask a question or state an opinion?

And Faramir - love the ivory tower - and the wonderful use of the english language, takes a real man to swear and where on earth does construction come into it?

It seems that english comprehension is somewhat lacking as well, for reading all of my posts here plainly point out that I AM looking for a specific type of person witin a specific set of search parameters.  Given that I would - as would most people I would imagine - at least expect the message to be read or my FULL profile to be looked at.  If you wish to see that as whining, whinging or being a crybaby, fine, go ahead.  At least that gives me a supurb heads up on who not to contact anyway.

For the record:

I DO NOT EXPECT ANYONE TO FALL AT MY FEET BECAUSE I SAY I AM A DOM NOR EVEN EXPECT A REPLY TO A MESSAGE.  THIS THREAD WAS STARTED SIMPLY BECAUSE I WANTED TO ASK A QUESTION AND GIVE AN OPINION.  AND I SEEM TO HAVE UPSET SOOOOO MANY PEOPLE FOR HAVING THE TEMERITY TO ASK THIS THAT IT MAKES ME WONDER WHY I BOTHERED.

For those who have decided to launch a personal attack on me via messages - and I wont name them - how sad and pathetic you are.

I have met many people through the chat rooms on here and made many friends here and in person throughout the years.  All of them know that I call a spade a spade.

To those of you (2 people specifically guess who they are) who want to call me names without responding to my original question, I simply say this.  GET STUFFED.  I have always and will continue to voice My opinion about whatever I want to.  If you don't like it, tough.  I really couldn't care less about what you say, it has been tried by better people than you and they failed too.

If you don't like what I write, toddle off and find someone who will only write what you find acceptable to you.  But as this is a place where opinions are allowed, I will continue to voice mine.

And thanks to those who have messaged Me with nice things to say.

Damn typo's!



bignipples2share -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/29/2007 1:47:01 AM)

I'm sure the case of unanswered and deleted email could be from several factors.
People have found someone they're presently considering and aren't answering new messages.
They're giving the email side a break and don't want to be bothered at the moment.
They accidently deleted it.
Some people get more email than they can possibly handle.
They've already talked with you on the chat side and just don't think you're a match, or don't like you. 

I'm sure there could be even more reasons. At any rate, it happens, move on to the next one.

Complaining about it is just that, complaining. The fact that you think lying is going to work out better, well, that doesn't even make sense.



LafayetteLady -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/29/2007 1:58:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WeyrlingMaster

LaffayeteLady - Thank you sooooo much for your wonderfully incisive comments about my psychology.  If you can find any evidence to back up your claim that I expect a response simply because I am a Dom, please do.  And a question for you, Faramir and the others claiming that I am simply whining, blubbering or whatever. 


If you actually had a command of the english language, you would have been able to understand that my comment was a general one for all the fools who believe that go blubbering about not finding someone.  You expect a response simply because you sent an email. You expect people to look at your profile simply because you have expressed an interest via that email.  What proof of that?  Go back and read your own posts.  It is the source of your complaint. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: WeyrlingMaster
When did it become such a crime to ask a question or state an opinion?


Apparently it is OK for YOU to ask a question or state and opinion, but when others respond in a way that you don't like, it would certainly appear that in YOUR opinion, we are not entitled to our opinion. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: WeyrlingMaster

And Faramir - love the ivory tower - and the wonderful use of the english language, takes a real man to swear and where on earth does construction come into it?


Ivory tower?  Surely you must be joking.  Just because more than half the people who respond to your post tell you essentially that you are a whining, petulant, brat doesn't mean that they are sitting in an ivory tower.  The only word Faramir used that might be considered "swearing" was "bitching".  You posted on the board to bitch about your unsuccesful search and insult those who chose not to bother responding to you as fakes and liars. 

While I am sure that Faramir will likely have his own response, have you ever heard of a synonyms and metaphors?  I realize that having someone tell you to look in the mirror and realize that you have constructed your own failure is a difficult pill to swallow, but there have been a high number of posts in this thread suggesting to you that your search is failing because you are not offering something that appeals to many.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WeyrlingMaster
It seems that english comprehension is somewhat lacking as well, for reading all of my posts here plainly point out that I AM looking for a specific type of person witin a specific set of search parameters.  Given that I would - as would most people I would imagine - at least expect the message to be read or my FULL profile to be looked at.  If you wish to see that as whining, whinging or being a crybaby, fine, go ahead.  At least that gives me a supurb heads up on who not to contact anyway.


Ah yes, when all else fails, silly Brits claim that us Yanks can't comprehend the King's English.  I'm sure that there aren't too many of us who were hoping you would contact us anyway. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: WeyrlingMaster

I have met many people through the chat rooms on here and made many friends here and in person throughout the years.  All of them know that I call a spade a spade.


But you sure can't stand finding out that you are the spade, can you?

quote:

ORIGINAL: WeyrlingMaster
To those of you (2 people specifically guess who they are) who want to call me names without responding to my original question, I simply say this.  GET STUFFED.  I have always and will continue to voice My opinion about whatever I want to.  If you don't like it, tough.  I really couldn't care less about what you say, it has been tried by better people than you and they failed too.

If you don't like what I write, toddle off and find someone who will only write what you find acceptable to you.  But as this is a place where opinions are allowed, I will continue to voice mine.


There were responses to your question, you just continually choose to ignore them.  THE PEOPLE YOU ARE WRITING TO ARE NOT INTERESTED. 

It happens to everyone.  Your "parameters" are very specific.  You are looking for someone to be basically an "afterthought" in your life.  Your partner is your first and foremost priority (which is a wonderful thing).  But there aren't a lot of people out there saying, "hey let me go and find someone who will put me second in all things because he will never care about me the way he cares about someone else."  How can you NOT see how unappealing that is?



jaunty1 -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/29/2007 4:39:19 AM)

My girl does not answer email; it is deleted unread. She's not a fake or a player.
 
Some people have very strict guidelines concerning email that they receive here; guidelines that they follow to the letter. They are no less real than you are.
 
Live well
 
Alex



WeyrlingMaster -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/29/2007 4:52:29 AM)

In the USA the word f**king may not be swearing - it is in most other places though.  And laffayettelady - as you have your own opinion so have I.  if you dont like it, go somewhere else.  And you still cant comprehend English anyway.  And yes, if I want to bitch I will.  As a US citizen you should be aware of the right to free speech.

And as I doubt very much that faramir has bothered to look at my profile and considering other factors you know nothing about he can kiss my ass.



IrishMist -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/29/2007 4:58:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WeyrlingMaster

In the USA the word f**king may not be swearing - it is in most other places though.  And laffayettelady - as you have your own opinion so have I.  if you dont like it, go somewhere else.  And you still cant comprehend English anyway.  And yes, if I want to bitch I will.  As a US citizen you should be aware of the right to free speech.

And as I doubt very much that faramir has bothered to look at my profile and considering other factors you know nothing about he can kiss my ass.

/snickers

someone is getting a might testy...I guess it's to be expected though. After all, you are a manly, true to life, real Master

[8|]

who demands that others follow your own set of standards

[8|]

You really should take time out and pay attention to what is being said here. You are whining about people ONLINE; crying because some poor wittle fake of a slave/submissive does not want to bother with reading your mail. Oh my, what is the world coming to?

Grow up and get a fucking life



cjenny -> RE: lies, falsehoods and honesty (5/29/2007 4:58:27 AM)

I live in the US & have always considered the 'F' word to be swearing......
unless of course I'm begging for it! [:)]



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