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RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 12:08:42 PM   
BeautySleeping


Posts: 14
Joined: 5/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticMan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman

Honey, there is no concensus. People can't even agree on the exact definition of slave, submissive, master, dominant, top or bottom. Collars are their own whole can of worms. It means whatever you and your partner/mentor/teacher/whatever agree that it means, and no matter what, SOMEONE will tell you that you got it wrong.


amen to that



I'll second that amen.

(in reply to SadisticMan)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 12:10:43 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Nah...I'm pretty sure none of you want to be around my clicks...they are generally followed by a pretty loud bang.

*snicker* Ain't that the truth.  My toes got banged up yesterday while moving my work pants off of a bench, which tipped a bag full of metal attachments which were in a bag which was still open from the night before and caused them to spill out.

Amazing I don't get asked more often if I'm being abused. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 12:11:06 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		Switches.  Feh.  You just can't make up your mind what you are.  You're probably bi too.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 12:13:12 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Which brings me to another reason we can't be in a clique together LA. I believe OSHA has some kind of rule about two people of such klutzability sharing common space.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 12:21:30 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

We're not a clique, are we?  Cuz people might think we are.  I don't want to be in a clique.  You guys suck!

Meh - I never run with a clique I didn't like....
 
Peace


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 12:28:00 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		If you could just some how combine Stef and LA......You would get a woman who knows way too much but everything she says would be really, really mean.....Perfect!....Getting hard just thinking of the perfect woman I have created.

Anywhoooo this is another reason that really creeps me out about the whole "protector thingy."  And yes,  women get highly aroused when their Dom uses certain words especially ..."thingy."

Anywhoooo it suggests you might have an inappropriate relationship with someone....It suggests that there might be a lack of privacy in "our" relationship.....Would your "protector" question you about what went on when we met?...Would you tell him?....Would he ask if the Domidong was extraordinarily veiny?....I have found the majority of protectors have often used the submissive under their guidance as just a ploy to try and catch a glimpse of the Domidong.....Most of these "men" are flamingly gay...Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I know plenty of women with children, unfortunately most of them are mine, but they still manage to keep their shit enough together to find away to tend to their own needs and responsibilities as well as being a great gaurdian,mother and protector to their kids without having some man have to lead them around by the nose to make sure that they are not fucking up.

People have rules SSC and all of this other B.S. ....Don't play on the first meeting.....What if things click?  I believe in spontaneity....There are no rules except that of my JUDGEMENT....Which I believe is excellent when it comes down to assessing someone's character.....Have I made mistakes?...Yep!...And I have learned from them.

Like one of the above betches suggested....(I don't think it was the one with dog ears, but the other bossy one who runs her mouth out here all too often)....If you are such a bad judge of character how do you know that you have not picked a shitty protector?  What if we meet and I say, "You're kinda cool but that dude your hanging around(your protector) is really a douche bag?"  Are we done?....Does your protector ever talk to me about how you need to be treated?  If so, the outcome might not be to pretty.

To sum things up....It's fine to have friends that care about you...But do these people have boundaries when it comes to your life that they respect?  Or is all privacy lost because you are so lost and so dumb?



_____________________________



(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 12:32:57 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		To a slaveslife....Way to put the hammer down on all of these judgemental betches.  Why hasn't she responded back?

I want to be in Stef's clique.....and judging form her profile pic...My lack of personal hygiene would probably not be of a major concern.

_____________________________



(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 3:12:47 PM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:


I guess if people just admitted right off that they don't have the skills that a responsible adult should have and shouldn't really be getting into "this" yet, I'd be a lot more open and accomodating. 


This is exactly how I feel about it.  It's big girl/big boy pants thing.



Yup, that pretty much sums it up.


If someone has the ability to effectively pick a protector, then how come they just can't pick a dom?  If you suck at picking a dom then wouldn't it be logical that you'd pick a sucky protector?



You'd think so. I always took a collar of protection to be a complete onlineism and utter bullshit. I also thought it was a good way for guys to get milk without having to buy the cow.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 3:38:37 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		I think I can understand some of it.
Hypothetical first person:
I'm just beginning to enter this world of weird sex n stuff but I'm not ready for a real relationship yet, I simply don't know enough about it.
So I ask or accept an offer of protection from someone who has been around this longer than I have. Someone who hopefully can show me the difference between dominant/dominate(lol) and domineering because it is so new to me.
Especially if this is an online venture, chat rooms and forums can be harsh & unkind places. If I tend to take people at face value there are times I may need someone to step in and tell me to slow down.
Vanilla rules of dating don't exactly fit anymore & I need a collar of protection until I've gained my footing. It isn't that I'm stupid or incapable, rather it is that this is so new & shiny I'm a bit dazzled by it all.

How's that?

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to BeingChewsie)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 5:03:25 PM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

I think I can understand some of it.
Hypothetical first person:
I'm just beginning to enter this world of weird sex n stuff but I'm not ready for a real relationship yet, I simply don't know enough about it.
So I ask or accept an offer of protection from someone who has been around this longer than I have. Someone who hopefully can show me the difference between dominant/dominate(lol) and domineering because it is so new to me.
Especially if this is an online venture, chat rooms and forums can be harsh & unkind places. If I tend to take people at face value there are times I may need someone to step in and tell me to slow down.
Vanilla rules of dating don't exactly fit anymore & I need a collar of protection until I've gained my footing. It isn't that I'm stupid or incapable, rather it is that this is so new & shiny I'm a bit dazzled by it all.

How's that?



I buy it in theory, the practice is a bit different. What generally happens is Master Bater's collar of protection is really all about him getting as much ass off her as he can without having to commit, then come the cries of abuse, being used etc...there is absolutely no substitute for brains.

I found slaves to help me understand things. You don't need a collar of protection until you gain your footing, you need to apply the rules of everyday safe living until you get your footing.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 5:12:53 PM   
aSlavesLife


Posts: 347
Joined: 12/1/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

To a slaveslife....Way to put the hammer down on all of these judgemental betches.  Why hasn't she responded back?



Probably hasn't responded because she expands the definition of troll and predator to include anyone that calls her out on her bullshit. To quote her, I just " call 'em like I see 'em. "

I like your new avatar, BTW.


_____________________________

It takes a village to raise an idiot.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 7:43:16 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny
Vanilla rules of dating don't exactly fit anymore

Yes, they do.  They REALLY REALLY do.

quote:

 rather it is that this is so new & shiny I'm a bit dazzled by it all.

How's that?

Glad you can admit it, but why not wait for the shine and dazzle to die down rather than admitting you aren't having good judgement, and still walking down that road of making a big judgement and commitment to someone?

Again, the rules are NOT different, so if that's your reasoning, then you don't really have a reason for it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 7:46:01 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie
I buy it in theory, the practice is a bit different. What generally happens is Master Bater's collar of protection is really all about him getting as much ass off her as he can without having to commit, then come the cries of abuse, being used etc...there is absolutely no substitute for brains.

I found slaves to help me understand things. You don't need a collar of protection until you gain your footing, you need to apply the rules of everyday safe living until you get your footing.


I'm taking this moment for what it's worth to say that I really have had a lot of respect for Chewsie in this thread and so many others.  She really structures her relationship and admits things about herself which so many would say is a doormat or unhealthy.  But she seems so self-aware, secure and calm with herself and her choices.  She seems to know how to handle things in life and ignore the crap.  And I can utterly respect that. 

To me, a slave is a slave whether on the floors all day long or in corporate meetings all day long, but Chewsie is an excellent example of someone who dares to enjoy the floor without being defensive or arrogant about it.

So, thanks, from me.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to BeingChewsie)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: collar of protection - 5/31/2007 8:04:38 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

f the sub was not collared, they had to be introduced to people by the "Party Alpha Submissive" before they could speak


One reason why I don't do well with protocol




Yeah...not so much with me, either.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: collar of protection - 6/1/2007 4:11:02 AM   
nearnyccouple


Posts: 70
Joined: 3/22/2007
Status: offline 		i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if one finds themself incapable of "protecting themselves" in a chat room, where all you have to do is leave, "x" the box or put someone on ignore, how do they cope with everyday life?  ive never bought into the theory that as a slave i need protection.  i am still an adult, i manage to cope in the business world and everywhere else.  sorry, but i just dont get it.

cassie

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: collar of protection - 6/1/2007 6:44:53 AM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		I completely agree and I will leave it at that.

There are things that has happened to me in the past that I see as abusive, that doesn't mean that another would feel the same way.

When people come on here asking if what they are dealing with is abuse that usually does mean that somewhere deep inside of themselves they feel betrayed by their partner due to the fact that He or She may have gone to far...

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: collar of protection - 6/1/2007 6:50:23 AM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		Well I think I've made it clear that I am no longer replying to pot shots so I'm ignoring it.
 
I never said that you were anything less due to what your profile says, even if it were just a hobby you have as much right as I do to be here and discuss the topics openly.  The only problem that I have is people enjoy starting arguements in these threads which causes the topic to go off track, and seldom have I ever seen it come back.

"Abusive people are all over, not just in BDSM - and the OP took on a protector, the question I would suggest she could be asking herself is why?  Why do I need a protector?  Why am I unable to make my own decisions?  Why can I not look after myself and in what capacity?  Why am I absolving myself of my personal responsibility?  Why am I entering BDSM which basis is consensual activities, when I need someone to consent for me?"
 
"A collar of protection doesn't mean anything - other than what is discussed between the people involved. "
 
In both above quoted context You are 100% right in my opinion.
 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: collar of protection - 6/1/2007 7:08:52 AM   
Bella1965


Posts: 285
Joined: 12/12/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		G'morning all:


I haven't read the entire thread, but rather skimmed through it when it appears on the scroll. I have to call bullshit on this statement, even as a hypothetical first person possibility.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny
If I tend to take people at face value there are times I may need someone to step in and tell me to slow down.

If you're not able to make decisions for yourself, you're certainly not ready for the scene. Self responsibility is one of the most important factors necessary in BDSM. If you can't exercise it, get out and don't come back. You have to safeguard yourself and be accountable for your own actions or reactions.

The whole "new and shiny" and "vanilla rules don't exactly fit" line is a crock. Use some sense, wield some judgment, grab your life by the seat of the pants and pull up!

I swear, do people lose all control of their ability to reason when they enter this lifestyle?


Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...





Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: collar of protection - 6/1/2007 7:09:45 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I'm taking this moment for what it's worth to say that I really have had a lot of respect for Chewsie in this thread and so many others.  She really structures her relationship and admits things about herself which so many would say is a doormat or unhealthy.  But she seems so self-aware, secure and calm with herself and her choices.  She seems to know how to handle things in life and ignore the crap.  And I can utterly respect that. 

To me, a slave is a slave whether on the floors all day long or in corporate meetings all day long, but Chewsie is an excellent example of someone who dares to enjoy the floor without being defensive or arrogant about it.

So, thanks, from me.


Thank you very much LA.

I live a very peaceful and drama free life.



_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: collar of protection - 6/1/2007 7:53:27 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Self responsibility is one of the most important factors necessary in BDSM


I'm going to take this one step further and say that self responsibility is one of the most important factors necessary in being a successful adult, in life, in general.  Self responsibility is a person, conducting their life in a positive manner and owning it, the good and the bad.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to BeingChewsie)
Profile   Post #: 160
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