quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Self responsibility is one of the most important factors necessary in BDSM

I'm going to take this one step further and say that self responsibility is one of the most important factors necessary in being a successful adult, in life, in general.  Self responsibility is a person, conducting their life in a positive manner and owning it, the good and the bad.

"I buy it in theory, the practice is a bit different. What generally happens is Master Bater's collar of protection is really all about him getting as much ass off her as he can without having to commit, then come the cries of abuse, being used etc...there is absolutely no substitute for brains. I found slaves to help me understand things. You don't need a collar of protection until you gain your footing, you need to apply the rules of everyday safe living until you get your footing. "



I have to completely agree with you on your statement here and I respect you for coming out and saying it so perfectly.  I guess my question is why dont subs and slaves seek mentoring from other subs and slaves as I did back when I first started out?  Why do subs and slaves feel as though they need to jump right in and get "used" and "abused" so to speak?   It's almost a disaster waiting to happen from my experience in speaking with others who have tried being mentored from a Master rather than a sub or slave.  Maybe my idioligy is out there, maybe I'm missing something but my intent was never to be rude but instead my intent was to be helpful (no bashing please) and give my honest opinion through what worked for me personally hoping the OP and even others would look at it from the other side of things and realize there is more than one route to take if you want to seek advice, learn or even grow in ones submission or slavery.

To those i offended i'm sorry but honestly that was never the intent (being on my monthly probably didn't help but i'm not one to make excuses)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bella1965

G'morning all:


I haven't read the entire thread, but rather skimmed through it when it appears on the scroll. I have to call bullshit on this statement, even as a hypothetical first person possibility.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny
If I tend to take people at face value there are times I may need someone to step in and tell me to slow down.

If you're not able to make decisions for yourself, you're certainly not ready for the scene. Self responsibility is one of the most important factors necessary in BDSM. If you can't exercise it, get out and don't come back. You have to safeguard yourself and be accountable for your own actions or reactions.

The whole "new and shiny" and "vanilla rules don't exactly fit" line is a crock. Use some sense, wield some judgment, grab your life by the seat of the pants and pull up!

I swear, do people lose all control of their ability to reason when they enter this lifestyle?


Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...





Bella

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny
My post was a suggestion for others to see how or why someone would want a collar of protection.
FYI, I do not have one but I can understand some of the needs/wants behind it.