quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo


That isn't putting his needs before yours.

That's dealing with reality that comes up in our lives.

If you routinely and consistantly put his needs or desires before your own and then asked me what I thought about it... I would personally think you were not a dominant so much as a good top or perhaps a service dominant.

A person is free to define herself however she wishes. I would hope that finding someone with compatible definitions is a good first step to finding a partner period. Beyond that you cannot control how others define you especially if you express different criteria than they themselves use to define a term or title.

If someone doesn't want opinions that do not agree with her own, she should not post questions or scenarios on public forums.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave


You know Guiding Lite, I do my very best to ignore your posts here on CM. Rarely are they helpful or constructive in their nature to anyone. Instead, they're always critical and negative of others, rarely contributing anything useful to the conversation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subiugo

i am a male submissive and a firm believer of Female Supremacy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne


in reality, in my experience over the last 10 years or so, submisisve men don't really want "nice", "sweet", "thoughtful", "kind", "considerate" and all the other things that make up.....well frankly.....a good vanilla partner. Not really. Many a Mistress has been dumped for being "too nice".

They want dirty, nasty, bossy, demanding, arbitrary, selfish and cruel. Especially selfish and cruel.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

This post is not Mistress specific, but I like it in these chambers, so am posting here----I am from the old school, or perhaps an old school, I take being a Domina very serioulsy---I feel a great responsibility for My submissives--for their health, for the well being--for their happiness---even to the extent that it may not make Me happy---however if  it is in the best interest of the submissive, then it is what it is----I watched My dear Fiend MoGA do the very same thing----we just feel very strongly about that--I do not understand nor can I comprehend why people would insist that We need to be self centered- greedy--selfish---that is it always OUR happiness, OUR needs that must be considered-----am I alone in this thinking?

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
okay pot calling kettle black.

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite

Perhaps you think your post in this thread is an isolated incident. It is not. My response and impression is an accummulation of countless such posts you have made.

I have pasted below a post I had begun to type in another thread where you attacked Pixel and then mocked BlkTallFullFig for disgareeing with you to speak in favor of Pixel. Before I completed my post, BlkTallFullFig diffused the matter in a gracious manner, and I let it ago. However, I saved what I had typed because I sensed it would be needed again.

Here is what you said against Pixel in this thread because he said something with which you disagreed:
http://www.collarchat.com/m_793603/mpage_4/key_/tm.htm

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
Don't read any of his mile long posts demistress.  Hes rude to alot of mistresses except his few favorites adn i know everyone can guess which ones thsoe are coz they always come running to defend the "sub".  teehee.   just ignore his babbles and passive aggresive long lectures.  he just likes to hear himself think so he can tell himself and the rest that his really an okay guy.  i think he has a lot of mad feelings inside so dont give his lectures a second thought.

When BlkTallFullFig disagreed with you in that thread and said your claim against Pixel was not fair, this is what you said to her:

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
its fair and so very  true but your to busy with your cheers to notice.  look you dropped your pompom. teehee

Like BlkFallFullFig, I also see your statement as unfair and untrue, and think Pixel has a generally respectful demeanor. You seem to equate disagreement with disrespect, which is an invalid equivalence. If you think he is disrespectful, please provide an example that supports your point. In the absence of that example, your statement is an untrue assertion.

I will even demonstrate how you can support your case.

For example, I think you go off on people when they disagree with you and you respond in a manner that is not respectful. Here is why I think so.

Here is what you said to LadyEllen in the same thread above when she disagreed with you for calling Pixel rude.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
of course you have never known him to be rude coz never did he show that to you but to others he has and he's been rude, sarcastic and lectures condenscendingly and since you and him are alike and cut from the same cloth I knew it was a matter of days before you came running out of the corner to defend your boyfriend.  teehee.

And then you immediately came to post another attack at LadyEllen for disagreeing with you:

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
is someone constipated?  i cant tell.

Here is how you responded to Demistress upon mistakenly thinking she responded to your post to disagree with you in this thread:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_750736/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#758015

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
give me a break.  like you know everything about everything.  <laughs>

!beg slut beg!  Now tell me that aint godd.

Here is how you responded to caitlyn when she disagreed with you in this thread:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_725554/mpage_9/key_/tm.htm#728313

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
WHAT??  Are you kidding?  How the heck do YOU know THAT people I agree with never come across as arrogant????  What arrogance on YOUR part to tell ME how people come across to me.  Im not even going to give you an example becuz your tunnel vision could never perceive any other way but your own.

Here is how you responded to Pixel when he disagreed with you in this thread. While the tone can be misunderstood, I think there is little to be misunderstood about the personal attack by you against his photo.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_747864/mpage_3/key_/tm.htm#758176

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
who the hell said anything about damaging a sub? Who the hell said anything about not DISRESPECTing a sub? WHo said anything about subs not being real people?  What are you threatened by?  Just becuz a sub says  what can I do for you? doesnt mean it has to be anything like the way you describe above.  you think just because a sub wants to please his mistress that she will automattically disrepect him?  damage him? not respect his limits?  why are you even bringing all these negative things up that dont apply to subs and their mistresses? 

calm down.  are you as tense and strained as your avatar photograph?

And the post above enough was not enough so you immediately followed with another post. There is little to be misunderstood about the name calling.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
Puhlez, give me a break  blah blah blah DONT put words in my mouth.  Perhaps NOTHING.  Who said they don't get respect.  your making an assumption about rights or no rights.  and that's your problem.   who said anything about damaging and disrespect?  freakizoid

Here is your response to swtandsparkling in this thread:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_755077/mpage_3/key_/tm.htm#756729

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
No freaking shit.  Your stating the obvious.  Guess what buddy people need more elaborate reasons for human behavior then your Sherlock observation.  Save your crappy "fly by the nite" advice  for someone simple minded.

There are more such posts yet.

Your response to various posters--those who disagreed with you or who otherwise held a position different than yours--make me see the following posts from you as ironic.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_781853/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#782031

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
you should just be quiet and learn to respect ALL people when you first meet them, dominant or not. buddyboy.  let her, if she wants to be formal.  its just her style.  get over it.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_65272/mpage_4/key_/tm.htm#784117

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
I think it [respect] should be  a right (and a right that can change at any time) and I think initially under normal circumstances one should show common curteously (respect).  I mean why not be a right if it's for a good common cause.

And your posts are in contradiction with what you say in the current thread:

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite:
instead of whinning about someone's post and how or what they wrote they should ignore it but they cant let anything they dont like or agree with go

I hope this post clarifies why I feel as I do about how you treat people.

Cheers,

Sea

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
I think submissive men want an intelligent, engaging combination. After a short while, bitchiness wears thin, real thin, whereas dominance endures better.

Next, when it comes to reading books, seeing movies, sharing culture, and discussing / evaluating personal experiences --- you want someone you admire and respect (not a bitch, but a quality person.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
I like her b/c she's rough and doesn't pull any punches. I've dished some in her direction too.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53
i prefer stupid, so i can sit on the couch all day, watch sport, drink beer and no have to hold a conversation. [8D]

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
his shyt is dripping off the tip of yiur nose or is it pixells? <<<oooof>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite

his shyt is dripping off the tip of yiur nose or is it pixells? <<<oooof>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea



I am comfortable with how I do with respect to BDSM. My objections against you and my impressions of you come from how you conduct yourself and treat people, and they began based on how you treated people other than myself. Based on emails of support I have received, I am not the only one who thinks this way about your behavior. Have you ever considered how people in general might feel about your behavior?

,

Sea

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
It makes you feel like its boys against the girls all over again.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

Honestly I don't care what anyone thinks of my style. It is my own, it defines who I am. However, I still find it very judgemental that when someone's style doesn't fit into another's definition they are instantly given some obscure label.

It is my opinion that when you put lifestyle and lables before the human factor, you have an explosive combination in the long run. I for one embrace the human element in subs slaves...this includes their weaknesses as well as their strengths as I expect them to do with and for me.

I suppose we can agree to disagree on this subject. It seems we come from very different worlds.

Ok, now I'm very confused.

I didn't label you. I would never label you unless you asked me for an opinion and then I would say that this is what I would define it as -- I wouldn't say it was you.

I do have a right to my own opinions and being on this board I have a right to express them when someone asks for opinions or asks what others think. I believe I go out of my way to say that "I call," "I define" or "I use" things instead of claiming some universal useage for a term.

The only reason I might suggest that other words be used is if a person came to the group and asked for opinions or help because they keep having negative experiences or weren't finding compatible partners. At that point words may indeed matter a great deal when we try to communicate. I also think we need to look at type of person or personality we are attracted too when this happens.

I'm about success here, folks. If thinking about the words we use or the character traits we are attracted to helps us choose more compatible partners I think our chances of success increase dramatically.

I think you completely ignored all of my statements about reality which is really a great deal about those "human elements" you mentioned. Again it is hard to have success if you don't accept the reality of our lives.