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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 3:49:51 PM   
Noah


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quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

To the OP...LOL..nice, and i think if 24 hours did pass without said thread being posted it would disrupt the time space continuim or something...and no ...we will never know....


Hey now! Disrupting the time space continuum ... there's a kink for you. Though methinks some may deem that unacceptable edge-play. But then again who cares what people who say "deem" and "methinks" think?

Not that we don't have every right to our word-kinks, a'course.



< Message edited by Noah -- 6/2/2007 3:50:37 PM >

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)
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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 3:53:05 PM   
imthatacheyouhav


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quote:

Not that we don't have every right to our word-kinks, a'course.

Hmmm...."word kinks"... its seems i have kinks in every aspect of my life then....Ahh...my mission is complete....


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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 3:55:23 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		The reason that my kink is so very much better than yours is simple and not in need of any discussion:

My kink makes me jizm for me.  Your kink does not make me jizm for me.

End of convo.

Ron


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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 4:03:16 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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quote:

Do you suppose the world would come to a fiery end if this forum went 24 hours without a thread about how My kink is better than Your kink?

Not so much a fiery end, more like vanilla tsunami - if there was no threads like that, then that would mean all kinks were equal and that would mean that nothing was taboo which apparently makes everyone the same... and I am not sure which is posted more often a)My Kink is better than Your Kink or b) Why BDSM contains no 'vanilla' at all, don't compare me to that because BDSM is so much better with more communication and everyone is so much more accepting.
quote:

 
Do you think we'll ever get a chance to find out?
Would you really want to?
 
I haven't anything else to add to that which LA has already said - but wanted to support her comments and give kudos.
 
Peace
  ...andeditbecausemydamntypostodaysheesh...

< Message edited by darkinshadows -- 6/2/2007 4:05:01 PM >

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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 4:04:37 PM   
Sinergy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


quote:

ORIGINAL: jessykapowwwer



Can we all share a moment of quiet appreciation for the diligent efforts of the person who invented the Block feature?



The problem with telling the person you blocked them is that they will create a new nickname under which to pontificate their bilious twaddle.

Since it is better to be hated than ignored, I prefer to just scroll past and ignore what they say.  There is always a sense of third-grade peurile "ha ha, made you block" attitude lurking in the back of my consciousness when somebody posts that they have blocked me.  Not that this is what I am necessarily working towards, but since they took the time to announce they blocked me, I am entitled to the 0.00003 millisecond attitude about it.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy



_____________________________

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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 4:06:33 PM   
MadRabbit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Well, Noah, I understand what you're saying, but we're never going to get away from this, because there is no one who truly believes that anything is OK.  We're not just talking about whether mozzarella tastes better than provolone.  The things we do affect other people's lives; it stands to reason that people have strong opinions about them.


I would agree that things that affect my life deserve strong opinions by me.

I wont agree that the subject of what people do in their own personal relationships have really any effect on the people outside of those relationships and thus are deserving of strong opinions that border on indignation and an attitde that they need to stop.

Hence, I can take a justifiable strong opinion against anyone raping children because its possible that my child will be the one raped.

But I couldnt use that justification to take the opinion that all people who consentually participate in age play because of fantasies regarding sex with children should be stopped because I dont have to participate in the age play if I dont want to.






< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 6/2/2007 4:11:55 PM >

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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 4:07:18 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Has anyone looked at her profile to see whos ass she is portraying now?


Ron


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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 4:12:56 PM   
Noah


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Well, Noah, I understand what you're saying, but we're never going to get away from this, because there is no one who truly believes that anything is OK.  We're not just talking about whether mozzarella tastes better than provolone.  The things we do affect other people's lives; it stands to reason that people have strong opinions about them.


Fair enough.

The claims made elsewhere that a submissive's preference for a high degree of control affect every citizen's life through a necessarily resulting increase in income-tax burden, though, give me pause.

And not the furry-play kind.


LA and I and others have attested to our beliefs that not just anything is okay. The crux of the particular biscuit I'm pointing to has to do with differentiating one's judgement of a practice from one's judgement of the practitioner (they can end up in concert or not; how nice when it is not a knee-jerk conjunction.) As well it has to do with--given the fact that one may find everyone else's kink to be less right or twue than one's own, the option exists to nevertheless post about something else once in a fucking while.

As your own posts have attested.


I actually believe, Lam, that you and I and a great number of others here could readily get past the incessant, poorly thought out attacks on one another which seem to be the basis of so many of what I'm calling My Kink Is Better Than Yours posts, and which seem to boil down to the gratuitous waving about of unexamined private parts.. er ... prejudices, in many cases, and careless generalizations based on single bad experiences in many other cases.

And don't go dissing my kink for Germanically-overblown sentence length, either.

In fact I enjoy conversations and correspondence with a bunch of really impressive people here, many of them just don't post because of the depressing tendency of discussions here to flirt so often with the Lamest Common Denominator: the fact that we do tend to carry prejudices around.

Like the back elephant I'm suggesting we try to rise above it, is all.

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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 4:13:01 PM   
dawntreader


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Status: offline 		At 7' and 600 lbs, she is more woman than i care to tangle with...i have her on block!LOL

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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 4:24:56 PM   
Noah


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy



The problem with telling the person you blocked them is that they will create a new nickname under which to pontificate their bilious twaddle.

Since it is better to be hated than ignored, I prefer to just scroll past and ignore what they say.  There is always a sense of third-grade peurile "ha ha, made you block" attitude lurking in the back of my consciousness when somebody posts that they have blocked me.  Not that this is what I am necessarily working towards, but since they took the time to announce they blocked me, I am entitled to the 0.00003 millisecond attitude about it.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy




Hey. There are no problems, right? Just opportunities?

That is to say that I would so totally respond to this if you weren't on my pissy little block list, dude.

Sinergy, the people I block can take as many nanoseconds of pleasure as they want from the knowledge. I'm a lot of bad things but I hope one of them isn't stingy.



PS

"Since it is better to be hated than ignored... "

Hey. You said that you were reading Nietschze, not some post-structuralist pop-psych revision of Machiavelli.

(in reply to Sinergy)
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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 4:25:46 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Most of the time if i read a thread that i have mixed feelings about  or it "disturbs me" in some way, or i have nothing i can really say because i don't really understand the dynamic they are talking about, or it doesn't interest me or i have no experiences in it, i usually read it (to try to gain knowledge and understanding) but i generally don't post.  Everyone has opinions and judgements - it's human nature and something very hard to escape. Some do a better job of it then others.  i don't think i use my kink vs your kink yardstick to see who is better, worse, sicker, more grounded etc, etc, i really don't care how others who are not involvd in my life on a personal level percieve me,  but personally  i do see some kinks as questionable in my mind, which ties in with my values, ethics, morals and i often wonder about them.  i won't specify as i don't want to divert the thread with remarks i shouldn't make anyway. i tend to keep thoughts i think will make people irate to myself.  Unless i am specifically po'ed at someone, then i can get testy and snarky.  i agree with you by and large but if there's no bar at all, won't you just have a mass of chaos everyone is saying is cool to indulge in?

Just a thought - if i thought your kink was better - wouldn't i be doing your kink instad of my own - so it's a sort of natural reaction to personal preferences?  The only reason there are arguments are when others voice that your kink is worse then mine - insecure people feel the need to defend, validate through arguing, etc what they do when others do it differently - you see it  everywhere, schools, offices, politics, homes, churches, etc 

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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 4:35:00 PM   
Sinergy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

That is to say that I would so totally respond to this if you weren't on my pissy little block list, dude.



Here I was thinking this was a response to it.

Nice use of the word "dude."  When I first got into the lifestyle I considered a nick/handle incorporating that, and it was pointed out to me that it has certain meanings in the gay male leather lifestyle.  While I could conceivably go to it, since I am no longer a newbie and unconcerned with how I am viewed by most, I tend to enjoy Sinergy.

quote:



"Since it is better to be hated than ignored... "

Hey. You said that you were reading Nietschze, not some post-structuralist pop-psych revision of Machiavelli.



Machiavelli was last week.

I had a job requiring me to use a forklift to move steel boxes around about every 2 hours.

Brings a whole new meaning to the concept of mind-numbingly dull.

Or would be if I wasnt reading things like Neitszche, Woit, Diamond, Machiavelli, etc., during the 1 hour and 59 minutes I dont actually have to do anything.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 4:39:17 PM   
Sinergy


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On the topic of the thread, I suspect that part of the reason people need to trash the kink of other people, and vaunt their own as being The Ultimate In Kinkness might have something to do with their own personal need for validation. 

Human beings tend to be a pack animal, and in a situation where a person might have mixed feelings about their behavior, being surrounded by a group of other people doing the same behavior may be comforting to them.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 5:35:47 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
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From: Jersey
Status: offline 		 

I do see this trend (the animosity etc) on the boards regardless of the topic at hand, whether it's about a kink or any other type of disagreement.

I agree with the consensus here that it's natural human wiring to have strong feelings about particular acts, especially given the bdsm orientation of this site and I think those feelings are valid unto each person.

As far as the expression and delivery of those feelings goes,  I think there are several key factors that play into the "knee jerk" reactions and snarkiness.  I think some of it can be attributed to the fact that it takes place on the computer where people can safely hide behind the anonymous nature of it all.   In realtime life, we are not able to do that; instead we are "forced' to get our point across in a way that is more acceptable.  It is more uncomfortable to be nasty to someone face to face, so we choose our expressions, words, and tone more carefully.  Also I think in general people tend to take a careless attitude because of the nature of the forum....  "well you put it out there, expect to get comments"...."well if you ask for an opinion, you better be ready to hear it"...I mean how many times have we seen this lame reasoning used as some kind of carte blanche to just tear into someone without a care? 

As far as the kink thing in particular...well...Obviously feelings will be heated with certain kinks and I have always seen a very strong undercurrent (or is it undertow?) of "competition" amongst bdsmers that I do not see anywhere else; competition to be better, smarter, truer, more experienced, more safe, more sane etc than the kinkster next door.  It is my observation that this general attitude flows into alot of the kink topics and the judging of those topics.  Im not saying that is always the case, but I do think it adds to the attitude you are talking about. 

<Not a very complete piece here, but a little food for thought, perhaps.>

< Message edited by marieToo -- 6/2/2007 5:37:27 PM >

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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 6:04:02 PM   
Noah


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Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

Here I was thinking this was a response to it.


Don't believe everything you read on these internets.

quote:

Nice use of the word "dude."  When I first got into the lifestyle I considered a nick/handle incorporating that, and it was pointed out to me that it has certain meanings in the gay male leather lifestyle.
 
Okay. I'll bite.

What is the meaning of "nick/handle" in the gay male leather lifestyle?

I meant that figuratively, of course.


quote:

While I could conceivably go to it, since I am no longer a newbie and unconcerned with how I am viewed by most, I tend to enjoy Sinergy.

I have knowingly enjoyed synergy ever since finding _Nine Chains to the Moon_ in the undergraduate library. I suspect that in my blythe innocence I actually enjoyed it even before that.

How many of us have a bookshelf the contents of which look innocent and randomly selected to all but our kinky friends?


quote:

Machiavelli was last week.

I had a job requiring me to use a forklift to move steel boxes around about every 2 hours.

Brings a whole new meaning to the concept of mind-numbingly dull.

Or would be if I wasnt reading things like Neitszche, Woit, Diamond, Machiavelli, etc., during the 1 hour and 59 minutes I dont actually have to do anything.


At the end of the day isn't it all about that one redemptive moment of excitement?



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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 7:17:17 PM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		I haven't read all the posts for this thread, but will do so when I give my opinion.

I think on a whole, people like to think they're special, and in turn, think their kink is special. How often do you hear, "I am a true Dom of the Domliness, and my true way is the only way"? I hear it more often than I would like.

To answer your questions:

No I don't think the forums would come to a fiery end if there was no My Kink is Better Than your Kink. But I think it would be a cold day in hell when it does happen.

I certainly hope we'd have the chance to find out. But I hardly doubt it'll happen.

Good topic Noah, thank you


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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 8:31:19 PM   
Sinergy


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Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

At the end of the day isn't it all about that one redemptive moment of excitement?



Not for me.  I tend to think that at the end of the day what it is all about for me is the knowledge that I
left this place a little better than I found it.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

p.s.  My ex said that Dude in the gay leather lifestyle was either the top or the bottom in a gay male leather relationship.  I didnt say anything, but she had issues about it.

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 9:07:58 PM   
catize


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Status: offline 		I have a headache from pondering the idea that we should be intolerant of intolerance.

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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 9:25:58 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		My kink is always floating around somewhere in the back of my mind, often times popping up in the oddest places and moments.  It's personal to me and only me.  It changes based on my moods and energy.  Therefore it has to be better...for me.  And it really gets me off.
People defend what is personal.

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RE: Why my kink is so very much better than yours - 6/2/2007 10:34:15 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Recently on another thread I got my judgmental nose bent out of joint over voyuerism/exhibitionist kink in which people that had not consented to being part of a scene could easily be subjected to it. The person who started the thread acknowledged that the kink is reliant upon the possibility of being discovered in order to titilate, and yet claimed that this kink is no worse than any other kink... there are some kinks that I have a problem with, and 99.9 percent of the time that is due to the issue of consent.

I usually have the attitude that your kink is not my kink, but your kink is ok, but I just do not have that attitude if others are unwittingly drug into someone else's kink.

I have noted that there are many that have a very negative attitude about mentors, trainers, online relationships, people that do not practice Ds, but instead only do BDSM without power exchange, safewords.. the full spectrum. I think that some people need to feel superior because their egos are so fragile that without being "better than" then they will be "less than"... just my thoughts on the subject

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(in reply to Noah)
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