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RE: To love or be loved... - 6/2/2007 7:02:10 PM

MasterD4u2

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well... we all know what it is like to love someone. It makes you feel good when you have someone to love. Having someone love you however, makes you feel wanted and allows you to express your love easier. i prefer to think it is a different blend of both for different people. I personally am a little selfish, as i prefer to feel loved than to show love...

Stella baby... i think your post was excellent, as well as drop dead sexy!! you chose the perfect words to express what you meant to convey... OMG, i actually got A goosebump when i re-read it. I guess that would be considered a state of Zen if you can achieve that at some point. For finding, aknowledging, accepting love, all three at the same time seems like an impossibility most of the time.

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RE: To love or be loved... - 6/2/2007 7:03:25 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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i know have both with and from my Doms ...and the same is reciprocated back to them

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RE: To love or be loved... - 6/2/2007 7:07:32 PM

lilsubl

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if i can only have one of them, it definitely feels better to me to love...i have only felt this 3 times so far in this life & i still love all 3 of them...this has remained constant no matter what they tell me they feel for me........

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RE: To love or be loved... - 6/2/2007 7:28:54 PM

beargonewild

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In my mind, both beacuse I believe one cannot have one without the other in the true sense. My opinion is a person can't be loved unless they are able to give love. Like the saying "what goes around, comes around."

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RE: To love or be loved... - 6/2/2007 7:53:14 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I love to love, but I hate the pain when it's unrequited.
So I will choose the more selfish, and much less occurring option of being loved.

I hate doing ditto replies, but nonetheless DITTO!..Tempting

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Post #: 25

RE: To love or be loved... - 6/2/2007 8:29:17 PM

slaverosebeauty

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quote:

ORIGINAL:
The profound thought of the day...

Does it feel better to love...
or to be loved?

Both. I think of love as a two-way street, it can have one direction or particpant, but, it works much better in the long run when things are mutual.

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RE: To love or be loved... - 6/2/2007 8:36:28 PM

Indemnis

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I prefer to love, should I have to choose one.

If someone loves me and it is unrequitted, then I cannot help that.. and it is hurting someone. If I love someone and it is unrequitted... then the only person having the potential to get hurt would be myself, and I would prefer that. I guess I'm a love martyr!

However, I must agree with the general mood of the thread... it should go hand-in-hand all the way.. :)

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RE: To love or be loved... - 6/2/2007 8:40:52 PM

domiguy

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To love or be loved? It's getting late and I have to get up really early....Right now I would accept a pizza and a hand job and life would be rosy.

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RE: To love or be loved... - 6/2/2007 8:43:00 PM

octavia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littledove00

it needs to be mutual. unrequited, it's just painful.

Yes! exactly. I have only had the joy of being cherished by the man whom i thought was the whole world once. it was "right". Since then I have both loved and been loved. Both are just pain without the other.

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Post #: 29

RE: To love or be loved... - 6/2/2007 9:16:41 PM

kc692

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

To love or be loved? It's getting late and I have to get up really early....Right now I would accept a pizza and a hand job and life would be rosy.

I'll just take the pizza, the hand jon would do nothing for me, smiles.

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RE: To love or be loved... - 6/2/2007 9:30:38 PM

mythi

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From: Naples, FL
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Sort of along the lines of reasoning Indemnis used, I'd rather love than be loved. But additionally I find it VERY uncomfortable to be loved by someone with whom I cant reciprocate, and sometimes a little creepy too!

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Post #: 31

RE: To love or be loved... - 6/2/2007 11:56:08 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia

I think it's alot harder to be loved than it is to love.

I think people in general have a tendency to use love as a measuring stick for every relationship they have and others have. I have had quite a few friends look at me with sadness in their eyes as they say, "tricia, you deserve to be with someone who loves you."

They will never understand how much more important it is - to me - to be with someone who will let me love them.

So, for me, it feels better to love.

Just to add: Love doesn't have to be about fireworks or declared from the rooftops...it can be unspoken and quaint and still be just as meaningful and real.

Sorry - i rambled :)

I love what you said here, tricia, so very well reflective of my own sentiment. My Master's acceptance of my love was a great gift to me, and a need of mine. That he eventually came to love me in return was icing on the already very sweet cake. The ability to express the love I feel within me is wonderfully fulfilling.

'Tis better to give than to receive...

(in reply to tricia)

Post #: 32

RE: To love or be loved... - 6/3/2007 12:05:26 AM

ennaozzie

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if i had to only choose one i would like to choose to feel i can love someone, I would hate to think i could not FEEL love for someone.

Good question i had to realy think

beanie

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RE: To love or be loved... - 6/3/2007 1:02:27 AM

LadyPaige

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It's impossible to come up with an origninal thought if you don't hop in the thread right away, but I vote for it having to be both ways. I don't want to feel the pain of not having my love returned, and I'd hate to have someone that I obviously know well enough to love me feel that pain as well.

(in reply to ennaozzie)

Post #: 34

RE: To love or be loved... - 6/3/2007 1:04:21 AM

Lordandmaster

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I'll second that. All through this thread I was wondering why it has to be one or the other.

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Post #: 35

RE: To love or be loved... - 6/3/2007 1:26:04 AM

CuriousLord

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Joined: 4/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterBRD

The profound thought of the day...

Does it feel better to love...
or to be loved?

Whatever makes you feel best.

Some people are happy loving another, despite it being unreturned.
Some people are happy being loved and adored, never returning it.
Some people (I'd suppose most) are happy loving and being loved together. They probably assign different values to each.

People feel differently. There's no profound answer here outside one's realization of personal self. Good to consider, I suppose. Though I'd encourage no one as to be so naive to search either single answer as to be applied as an inniate truth to others.

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Post #: 36

RE: To love or be loved... - 6/3/2007 3:48:00 AM

darkinshadows

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From: UK
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I was going to say both. Then I thought back over the past year and thought, nope. Loving someone is great, but not is it is unrequited. You could love someone until the cows come home and it would be empty and fruitless if it wasnt accepted.

It is better to be loved by someone and to be allowed to love someone.

Peace and Rapture

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RE: To love or be loved... - 6/3/2007 4:04:02 AM

gothicdiva

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I agree with what Stella said. Most of us want to love AND to be loved. I am fortunate enough that I have that in my life. Perhaps just not on a romantic level at the moment! But, if I had the option to only choose one...I would choose to love and give of myself selflessly...although, there is no greater feeling than being loved in return! I would want the other person to experience that feeling of how deeply and unconditionally THEY were loved and that I would be there for them no matter what. Feeling unloved is the worst feeling in the world.

Thanks for a "thought-provoking" question...I know I certainly had to ponder a little!

Be well,
M. Diva

< Message edited by gothicdiva -- 6/3/2007 4:09:42 AM >

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Post #: 38

RE: To love or be loved... - 6/3/2007 4:24:56 AM

ahabitbadforu

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Joined: 9/25/2006
Status: offline

To love is more important to me. Definitely. Although I do appreciate being admired sometimes... Coming home from work, my wife walking up to me, her eyes shimmering, she has that long dress shaped after her curves, hugs and kisses, complimenting her and the scent of her cooking. Wow. Well, I'm the type of man that dislikes raunchiness and values modest feminine clothing; it would be hard for me to love a woman that dresses in jeans, or has a very revealing cleavage - save that for the bedroom!

Anyways...err..I digress..

I don't demand much from the one I love, other than that I require her submission and the mentioned admiration. If she's cocky, well, every woman can be "broken in" so to speak. With a submissive wife I would give my life for her, if need be. Sacrificial love is the highest kind.

Men are given the nature of leadership, women are given the nature of follower and helper. Whatever your claims, happiness within marriage equals male headship and female submission. Everything else is just roleplaying, a mother-son sort of kinky thing. I say every submissive man is conditioned by society or lacked an adequate father-figure (maybe had a dominant mother). Also, it's chickening out of your duties.

oops. controversial...

To me, platonic non-sexual gestures of love is true love, but without lustful sensory pleasures added to it, you will tend to seek compensation elsewhere. Submit to each other's needs and the relationship will last. But the man should always set the ultimate boundaries, for better or for worse. And as a couple, if he degrades his woman he degrades himself. The New Testament says some good stuff on the topic (King James preferably...).

(sorry. maybe most of this was out of context...)

< Message edited by ahabitbadforu -- 6/3/2007 4:30:22 AM >

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Post #: 39

RE: To love or be loved... - 6/3/2007 4:33:19 AM

velvetears

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Joined: 6/19/2006
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i have been in both situations and one is painful, the other is frustrating. In a romantic parternship when i love someone and it's not returned - it produces a feeling i am alone, also not safe.... and it seems fruitless to be there. It's like living with a breathing functioning corpse. Being on the flip side is just as difficult and the only merciful thing to do in that case is break it off with the person. i am not a user or abuser of other's emotions and it would hurt me to see or feel their pain as well.

Romantic partnerships aside - i have loved family members who have nothing but disdain for me and their emotions and feelings do not effect me. It'd different then a relationship love, where i would need to feel something back from that person or their would be a void.

In both scenarios, for my own wellbeing i remove myself, but the love has never stopped, i just realized it will never be returned and i don't keep myself in toxic situations.

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Post #: 40

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