Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Dominants do you court your potential submissives?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Dominants do you court your potential submissives? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/9/2007 8:38:43 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		I like to start fun threads, to attempt to stir up fun conversations.
So here goes:  As a Dominant, do you court your potential submissive?
How do you go about getting to know her in the early stages of a relationship?
Do you take her out on non lifestyle vanilla type dates?
Do you prefer to "jump" into playing and relationships quickly, and let things sort themselves out?
At what point do you lay out your expectations and what you are looking for in a partner?

I personally do not want to become involved with anyone that can't take the TIME to
get to know me as a person and a friend, first.
I prefer to go slowly, and even as a Dominant I expect to be "courted" to a certain extent.
I don't mind talking about similar interests in WIITWD, because I do what someone with
similar interests, but I am not looking for a "play" partner.
I am not into casual sex nor casual BDSM relationships at this stage of my life, but I don't knock
those that enjoy casual encounters.
I look forward to hearing from those of us on both sides of the D/s dynamic.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 6/9/2007 8:40:11 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/9/2007 9:00:42 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		We did not really "date", but we have done many vanilla type things. He did court me. In some ways he continues to court me. The happiest relationships I have seen are the ones in which people continue to always court EACH OTHER. Just my take on it

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/9/2007 9:08:09 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

We did not really "date", but we have done many vanilla type things. He did court me. In some ways he continues to court me. The happiest relationships I have seen are the ones in which people continue to always court EACH OTHER. Just my take on it


 aww thanks julia, I so agree.
I think many around here tend to forget that this means a lot to most women.
Most women want to be courted in some fashion, whether they are Dominant or submissive.
I would imagine that many submissive women need to be courted to be able to submit.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 6/9/2007 9:11:10 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/9/2007 9:47:27 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Nope.  I make'em come to me.  Keeps them in their place, you know.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

As a Dominant, do you court your potential submissive?

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/9/2007 9:54:49 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		If you don't court them, how do you get to know them?

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/9/2007 10:21:57 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I was kinda joking.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/9/2007 10:24:52 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		lol, I bet you court very well.
Flowers, dinner, the whole 9 yards.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/9/2007 11:06:26 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		My current partner an I have known eachother for over 3 years, only in the last month or so did the idea of us 'courting' come up {we did NOT get along for most of the 3 yrs}; we live in different citys so we do what we can. We meet when we can, we talk almost daily, he is a true gentleman when we are together - opens doors, helps me out of the car, pulls out my chair for me, etc. We do vanilla dates with M/s undertones, and then when we get back, things 'change' and we get into M/s mode.

When he an I, we expected to meet as friends, and nothing else. We were both open to the idea of something happening, and it did; it was a mutual decision, one I am very glad for. Being friends and know a lot about eachother, vanilla side and M/s side has made it so much better, at least as far as I am concerned. After 3 yrs we still are learning about eachother an its a great adventure and experience.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/9/2007 11:51:02 PM   
HutchGarahl


Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		I normally try to court someone. It's a bit hard to tell just by looking at someone if that's the one ya wanna be with iffin ya don't get to know them a bit first. And even after we do, and she has my collar...I still try to court her at times. Kinda keeps things flowing and in perspective.

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/10/2007 7:45:09 AM   
octavia


Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline 		I find this topic of great interest.  In having conversations with Dom men, I find that there are (at least)  two very polar ways of going about things.  There is the mindset that a man should always be the pursuer, D/s or not.  and the mindset that  a Dom would not be Domly were he to pursue a girl he is interested in.  So... should a girl call a guy, or wait and hope he calls?  Simplistic example but I have run into this.  twice now, I've found myself trying to figure out if I was being blown off, or if it was just an attempt on the Dom's part to control the interactions and dynamic.  I will confess one of those times, I chatted longer than I needed to ( I already knew it wasn't a good fit) just to try and figure out what on earth was motivating his actions.  I think.. he wanted me to read his mind.  I was supposed to figure out what he wanted me to do, and then he would re engage in conversation.   I'm not a mind reader so no go there!

(in reply to HutchGarahl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/10/2007 7:47:22 AM   
octavia


Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I was kinda joking.


"kinda"

Must mean he sends em a pretty card that says:
"Now get your ass over here."


(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/10/2007 7:56:06 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I am a jumper by nature. I hate to beat around bushes and waste time so I tend to reel them in or cut bait pretty quickly.  Of course with my propensity to jump I also realize I may either reap a benefit or pay a consequence.  If I reap...yah for me, if I pay, then that's life and I try not to bitch...after all I made the choice to jump.

I love to be "courted" but I also want to find out if I'm compatible in the areas of BDSM fairly quickly, afterall I already have a vanilla husband who I love like crazy.  I feel I can tell pretty quickly where I am going or not going with people.  So weeks of dates and non bdsm stuff does little for me. 

Having said all this...now I'll contradict myself.  I love that Robert and I started off by talking about who we are as people.  As a matter of fact it wasn't until our impending meeting time did we ever talk about what we enjoy and don't in the sex/kink realm.  He and I were completely opposite of what has been my modus operandi in the past...and go figure...I love him and own him.  There must be something to that whole courting thing.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to octavia)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/10/2007 8:24:43 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		If by court your mean romantic gestures, flowers, candy, etc. then no, he did not court me.  We did talk, share our thoughts and opinions, learned about each other including past, present and what we wanted in the future.  Basically he was just himself and did not try to impress me with what he thought might get my attention. Either I was interested in him for himself or I was not.   

The romantic gestures and evenings did not come until after I became his.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/10/2007 8:43:23 AM   
blkmaledom


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/17/2006
Status: offline 		I think "courting" is important in establishing a mind connection and a comfort level.

_____________________________

Where there is a will..find a way.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/10/2007 8:46:31 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		No, just the whole 9 inches.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

lol, I bet you court very well.
Flowers, dinner, the whole 9 yards.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/10/2007 8:49:54 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

No, just the whole 9 inches.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

lol, I bet you court very well.
Flowers, dinner, the whole 9 yards.



And if memory serves me correctly, I have read that would be a curved 9 inches.  *g*


*edited to add a few words to the sentence... I am slightly embarassed that the first sentence could allude to first hand knowledge and not knowledge gained from reading the boards... time to go finish laundry  lol

< Message edited by kyraofMists -- 6/10/2007 9:01:24 AM >

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/10/2007 11:55:42 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		Daddy wooed me with His eclectic and vast collection of music from Ella to Quincy Jones to Marvin Gaye to world music and friendship before gradually moving into our D/s relationship. He took the time to get to know me as well as my UMs (because as He states - i'm a complete package).  funny thing is i wasn't looking for another Dom when we first met even though He was looking for me yet we both weren't looking for casual partners. the more we talked and chatted, it was becoming so clear that we were just more than friends ...soulmates.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/10/2007 2:24:05 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

No, just the whole 9 inches.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

lol, I bet you court very well.
Flowers, dinner, the whole 9 yards.



And if memory serves me correctly, I have read that would be a curved 9 inches.  *g*


*edited to add a few words to the sentence... I am slightly embarassed that the first sentence could allude to first hand knowledge and not knowledge gained from reading the boards... time to go finish laundry  lol
Can I speculate possibly cyber inches??....Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/10/2007 2:36:27 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		They hate what they do not know.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? - 6/10/2007 3:10:33 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

No, just the whole 9 inches.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

lol, I bet you court very well.
Flowers, dinner, the whole 9 yards.



And if memory serves me correctly, I have read that would be a curved 9 inches.  *g*


*edited to add a few words to the sentence... I am slightly embarassed that the first sentence could allude to first hand knowledge and not knowledge gained from reading the boards... time to go finish laundry  lol
Can I speculate possibly cyber inches??....Tempting


Oh most definitely NOT cyber inches. 

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Dominants do you court your potential submissives? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078