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RE: Anal Worship - 6/11/2007 5:37:12 PM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

oh lordy would I be grossed out for YEARS if I would get a wet tongue up my ass omfg

Where is the FukinTroll when you need him?

quote:

but each to their own anyway i just couldn't ever kiss somebody that loved keeping their tongues up a persons butt..

Well, considering the number of bacteria people get exp.... never mind that line of thought.

~goes looking for ye olde lobotomie spoone~

quote:

me not understanding this

Coming from the maledom side of things, I think it could work as a kind of ritual, but not as a fetish. Some people like rituals. But the fetish side of it would be pretty dead in no time flat. Indulging in it whenever I want to receive it? Sure, that can go on forever. Doing it every time one gets up? That loses the fetish part of it in about a week, I'd guess. The two aren't neccessarily mutually exclusive, though.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 21

RE: Anal Worship - 6/11/2007 11:48:12 PM

nonu

Posts: 139
Joined: 8/31/2005
From: Cochin, India
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LarTric

I honestly didn't think this would be met with such opposition.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LarTric

As a submissive male, one of my strongest fantasies revolves around anal worship, using it as a reward, queening, etc.

Is being submissive really about one's own fantasies, or fulfilling those of the Dominant partner?

I guess you answered your own question with the very first sentence!

_____________________________

We're all different....until we realise that we're all the same, and vice versa...

(in reply to LarTric)

Post #: 22

RE: Anal Worship - 6/12/2007 12:54:28 PM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nonu

quote:

ORIGINAL: LarTric

I honestly didn't think this would be met with such opposition.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LarTric

As a submissive male, one of my strongest fantasies revolves around anal worship, using it as a reward, queening, etc.

Is being submissive really about one's own fantasies, or fulfilling those of the Dominant partner?

I guess you answered your own question with the very first sentence!

nonu,
Isn't about about both? Think of it as the yin and the yang. If the submissive isn't happy or getting his needs met, why would he want to continue to serve the needs of the Dominant?

Altruism is great, but we're presumably talking about the needs of one woman, not the greater needs of a society. Thus, why would it be reasonable to expect a person to be wired totally toward the service of only pleasing said woman if the woman didn't also do things that were pleasing to the submissive. The answer for most as I've observed is that it's about compatibility of kinks. It only seems logical to me, that one who is into Anal Worship, should not be serving a Domme who dislikes such service!

- pixel

< Message edited by pixelslave -- 6/12/2007 12:57:20 PM >

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to nonu)

Post #: 23

RE: Anal Worship - 6/12/2007 1:07:47 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Good point Pixel but what about give and take. What happens whn two people are very compatible in most areas but not all ?
My view is when this occurs it should be the submissive who makes the sacrifice for the desires of his Mistress

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 24

RE: Anal Worship - 6/12/2007 1:25:11 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Good point Pixel but what about give and take. What happens whn two people are very compatible in most areas but not all ?
My view is when this occurs it should be the submissive who makes the sacrifice for the desires of his Mistress

I would like to think that most submissives have, at their core, a desire to please their lady (in a relationship) and enjoy putting that desire above their own needs. Otherwise, it's not really power exchange, it's a bottom and a top who both enjoy give and take, which is fine.

What is remarkable in a man is when he can take pleasure in an act he would otherwise find unthinkable, just because it stimulates his lady. He feeds off her enjoyment. He doesn't categorize that serving into convenient boxes that contain his fetishes.

I think I would have a very hard time with a man who had some "must have" demands as far as his kinks go. I have a solid appetite, a wide variety of kinks, but at the core of it, it has to be on my terms and not his. The minute he goes into sulking over not being queened enough, not being ass-fucked enough or why am I not using enough CBT....my desire goes out the window. I'd rather ship him off to a pro.

Compatible kinks? Sure, of course! I like lots of kinks so it's not hard to find compatibility there. But if he has a minimum requirement as far as how much, how often, and which items, I lose interest. The entire sensuality, for me, is wrapped up in my desire to be seductive, predatory and demanding. I get no joy (and no wet panties) from carrying out a series of acts just to pacify a submissive.

Part of my problem in my wiring, I am sure, is because I spent the first decade or so of my kink life dominating vanilla guys who had no agenda at all - they just went along for the ride. Certainly they had their vanilla wish list - like getting laid, probably - but once we were clear on if and when that was happening, it was smooth sailing and on my terms.

Akasha

_____________________________

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 25

RE: Anal Worship - 6/12/2007 3:43:44 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

What is remarkable in a man is when he can take pleasure in an act he would otherwise find unthinkable, just because it stimulates his lady. He feeds off her enjoyment. He doesn't categorize that serving into convenient boxes that contain his fetishes.

Akasha

i can really identify with this as being pleasing really pleases me. i am wondering if this is just how i am wired, or does it stem from childhood and always wanting to please parents/teacher ect. Maybe its a little of both or even due to insecurities ?

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 26

RE: Anal Worship - 6/12/2007 10:01:10 PM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53
Good point Pixel but what about give and take. What happens whn two people are very compatible in most areas but not all ?
My view is when this occurs it should be the submissive who makes the sacrifice for the desires of his Mistress

My view is that one has to decide how important those areas of non-kink compatibility are to them and decide from there. I also know that it feels horrible to be "placated" and that's someplace I'd never want to go again.

In general, I've always felt that for a few items of little importance, it was never worth giving up an overall good relationship for things that were not critical to my happiness. But I've not been faced with making the decision of kink compatibility when it comes to something that I feel is really important to me.

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 27

RE: Anal Worship - 6/12/2007 10:18:08 PM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Good point Pixel but what about give and take. What happens whn two people are very compatible in most areas but not all ?
My view is when this occurs it should be the submissive who makes the sacrifice for the desires of his Mistress

I would like to think that most submissives have, at their core, a desire to please their lady (in a relationship) and enjoy putting that desire above their own needs. Otherwise, it's not really power exchange, it's a bottom and a top who both enjoy give and take, which is fine.

What is remarkable in a man is when he can take pleasure in an act he would otherwise find unthinkable, just because it stimulates his lady. He feeds off her enjoyment. He doesn't categorize that serving into convenient boxes that contain his fetishes.

I think this is very true for me. Mistress has a thing for clothespins, which are rather difficult for me to endure (imagine having 25 to 30 on your scrotum, and you'd have some idea of what I mean). Yet I take great pleasure in seeing the huge impish grin that appears on her face when she chooses to indulge herself in this kind of play. I've never "safe worded" during this play with her, yet I did beg for her to remove them from my foreskin after about 10 minutes of having been in total agony.

OTOH, I once asked for them to be applied to my nipples while I was deep within sub space. All because I wanted to expand my limits and give her pleasure at the same time, as she was greatly pleasuring me as well! After the initial rush of pain and deep breathing, I must say that I fully got into having them applied and was immersed being turned on by the sensation with they applied.

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 28

RE: Anal Worship - 6/13/2007 12:15:35 AM

mantis65

Posts: 456
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

This is something I enjoy but if the Domme isn’t in to it she isn’t in to it.
I think the need to submit is deeper than a simple desire to please. It is driven by a selfish core desire in the sub. It’s like the sex drive itself it not a calculated action. It’s a need like hunger or at least is for me. Yes there is a desire to please but there is also a selfish drive to submit behind it.
On the other hand knowing what presses her buttons turns me on also.
I do enjoy making her happy but I know I have needs of my own.

< Message edited by mantis65 -- 6/13/2007 12:19:56 AM >

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 29

RE: Anal Worship - 6/13/2007 4:43:51 AM

queencaliph

Posts: 131
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline

I think you should talk to girlfriend and see if this is what she wants. Maybe it is. For myself this could never work no matter how much I love anal worship. For starters I am really not a morning person. (Don't even talk to me until I have had my coffee.) For seconds, I detest begging. Its like fingernails on a chalkboard. If had to hear it first thing in the morning I would likely start throwing things. But I am sure there are some dominant women who are both morning people and like begging. Maybe your girlfriend is one of those. Either way, good luck and I hope you and she reach an agreement that benefits you both.

(in reply to LarTric)

Post #: 30

RE: Anal Worship - 6/13/2007 5:46:26 AM

nonu

Posts: 139
Joined: 8/31/2005
From: Cochin, India
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

nonu,
Isn't about about both? Think of it as the yin and the yang. If the submissive isn't happy or getting his needs met, why would he want to continue to serve the needs of the Dominant?

I do agree that 'the relationship' is about both being together and making each other feel complete. But when it comes to fantasies, i feel that it should be the Dominant partner who decides on the 'What', 'How', 'When' and 'Where'.

One way that i feel he can put forward his fantasy, is by enacting it to the best of his capacity, when given a chance. He could make her 'experience' his passion for anal worship, in such a way that she really enjoys it to the extent that she wants more of it. That's where fantasy and submission make sense together.

Otherwise, it would sound like putting his needs ahead of Hers. Take the following sentence for example:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LarTric

I am thinking of suggesting to my girlfriend a "new house rule" where I would be expected to beg her each morning for the privilege of orally worshiping her anus soon after we woke up and would have to continue doing so until ordered to stop.

Compare the above suggesting of a self-made "rule", to the following possible statement:

"Mistress, it was a pleasure to worship your lovely ass, and i would love to do it every morning after you wake up".

_____________________________

We're all different....until we realise that we're all the same, and vice versa...

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 31

RE: Anal Worship - 6/13/2007 5:51:29 AM

nonu

Posts: 139
Joined: 8/31/2005
From: Cochin, India
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I would like to think that most submissives have, at their core, a desire to please their lady (in a relationship) and enjoy putting that desire above their own needs.

What is remarkable in a man is when he can take pleasure in an act he would otherwise find unthinkable, just because it stimulates his lady. He feeds off her enjoyment. He doesn't categorize that serving into convenient boxes that contain his fetishes.

I think I would have a very hard time with a man who had some "must have" demands as far as his kinks go. I have a solid appetite, a wide variety of kinks, but at the core of it, it has to be on my terms and not his.

Akasha

That makes perfect sense, Ms. Akasha.

And it also explains very clearly why there is so much of opposition to this idea.

_____________________________

We're all different....until we realise that we're all the same, and vice versa...

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 32

RE: Anal Worship - 6/13/2007 8:01:53 PM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nonu
when it comes to fantasies, i feel that it should be the Dominant partner who decides on the 'What', 'How', 'When' and 'Where'.

I agree nonu! To me, that's the cornerstone of the dynamic! Without that exchange of power & control, it would lose all the appeal it has to me as a submissive.

quote:

Compare the above suggesting of a self-made "rule", to the following possible statement:

"Mistress, it was a pleasure to worship your lovely ass, and i would love to do it every morning after you wake up".

I agree that the latter is better stated than that which you quoted from the OP. However, it seems that communication is really at the core of the issue. Styles, along with the dynamics of relationships will vary. As long as the desire is communicated in a way that is acceptable to the OP's partner, what does it really matter to us?

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to nonu)

Post #: 33

RE: Anal Worship - 6/13/2007 11:00:23 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LarTric
I am thinking of suggesting to my girlfriend a "new house rule" where I would be expected to beg her each morning for the privilege of orally worshiping her anus soon after we woke up and would have to continue doing so until ordered to stop.

Is this something that would appeal to a Dominant female or would it be more of a nuisance?

Yes. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to LarTric)

Post #: 34

RE: Anal Worship - 6/14/2007 11:38:20 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

I like begging. I like begging on my terms. I initiate it, usually with some teasing before hand. For me, begging loses something if it is for an act I know the slave does not want. He may be good at begging but in my mind I know he isn't craving the act itself. But, if I know the slave has a huge desire for something I can tease him and hear him beg for it and it's really hot. I may or may not indulge him.

But for me, there is a certain amount of selfishness in the act of sincere begging simply because I do know he wants it. If a slave starts off begging for something I have no intention of giving him or wanting to tease him with, it is simply irritating. So, to be awakened with begging for anything every morning of my life would irritate the hell out of me in a big way.

Coupled with that is your thought that there should be a rule that this is to be done every morning. I don't know about your dynamic but a slave does not make the rules. I do. Now, I am a pretty intelligent and creative person. If my slave shows an interest in something or communicates his desires, I may very well use that and incorporate it into a ritual. But it is if I choose to do so. I think communicating your desires and showing your willingness to so something along the lines of anal worship is a much better approach. Then, let your Mistress decide where she wants to go with that. Maybe she wants to tease you with it and deny you. Maybe she wants it and will incorporate it into a morning ritual. Maybe she will just demand it of you when she wants it. But let her decide.

If it were me, I would tell your Mistress your desires and even share with her your fantasy. But then, perhaps express your desire to come up with some morning ritual for her that you are to do even if it does not encompass your fantasy. Ask her how she wants to be awakened. Ask her what she would like you to prepare in the morning. You can work out something that will be pleasing to her. Then, with her knowledge of your fantasy, she can decide if she wants to incorporate it occasionally, all the time or not at all into the routine.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 35

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