Archer
Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
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OK again as one who does use the petition process,
The process forces both parties to slow down and think.
If it did nothing else it would be worth it for that purpose alone eliminating some of the frenzy.
The petition IS PART of the communication and getting to know each other part, it does not eliminate the rest of it it compliments and expands it. Answers to such petition questions as - Of the vast population of leather folk, why are you petitioning to be My slave?
- What do you seek in a Master/slave relationship?
- Describe your family growing up and now. How many siblings are there? What are their names and where do they live? Are your parents still alive? Where do they live and how are they cared for?
- Outside of work and sexual interests, what leisure activities do you enjoy (movies, sports, games, etc.)?
- Do you enjoy any domestic activities in particular (cooking, gardening, laundry, etc.)?
- Do you have any particular creative talents?
- What do you bring to My family?
- List the serious relationships you have been in and explain why they ended. Include what your part in each breakup was.
These are 8 of the questions in my petition format
1. Tells me if they are seeing me accurately or if they might just be infatuated with the image they see of me.
2. Tells me if they see a M/s reationship in a similar fashion to the way I see it, as well as if they are realistic in their expectations.
3. Tells me something about how they relate with people in a family dynamic (important since they would be joining a family not just a relationship with me. It also tells me if I might be obligating myself to caring for their parents at some point or if their care later in life has been taken care of for the most part.
4. How many times have we all sat here and talked about how we never see the outside of BDSM Interests addressed.
5. Good lord if I have to set the overall organization of the house tasks it might be usefull to know if the other person loves or hates laundry duties. If they love it then likely they will get it here because nobody else here does, LOL.
Actually it is in seriousness something I take nto account when figuring out who does what. enjoyment of the activity usually means the job is done better and without friction.
6. Creative talents by god I enjoy arts of various types and if they have a creative artistic need/ calling/whatever then I might need to know if it is a creative tallent I can support in many different ways (space, money, time, travel, etc...)
7. What else that I didn't address in the other questions might prove usefull for me to know? (also tells me how they view their own self worth, can be kinda important to know if they can articulate their value.)
8. Tells me if they are honest when looking at their own part in problems that come up in a relationship. It also helps keep me from accidently tripping emotional triggers that other people before me found or created.
There are something like 70 questions I put into the petition process They range from one or two word answers to Essays.
Anytime a petitioner asks "Why do you need to know this in #46 I am more than happy to explain why I want the information, what purpose it serves in my side of the evaluation of if we are a good fit.
BTW there are no questions in my petition that I won't answer myself when the petition is gone over.
Yes that's right I read the answers and discuss the answers with them and relate some of my own side of the questions as we go through it.
Assigning the petition to going over it to accepting or not accepting or not accepting could easily take several weeks to a couple months, during which time I am always checking their progress and making sure they know I will clarify any question and help them figure out what they need to put into it.
Petitions as simply a different format of communicating all the things folks are always saying fols need to talk about before they make a commitment. One look through the boards will tell you how poor a job is so often done in talking about them all.
Because we all see the same problems being encountered 10,15 20 times by different people.
The petition process is simply a way to organize and make sure that all the issues that a person has found to be important have been addressed.
That is some of what I get out of a petition. How poorly or well someone else uses the same tool will vary, and just knowing that the tool exists is not going to ensure the person knows how to use it. Hell I don't even consider myself to be all that skilled at using the petition process. But it has cetainly proven usefull to me.
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