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RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 2:50:27 AM

MasterMagnus321

Posts: 86
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

LuckyAlbatross- your analogy of surrendering to the rain is brilliant. Acceptance of reality, the soul and core of our experience, is very Zen-like... as well as a deep understanding of the fact that everything changes, eternally... we are in a state of flux, very dynamic, not at ALL static... that thought took me only minutes to understand, and I don't know how many reincarnations to master.

_____________________________

Nothing lasts, and yet nothing passes, either.
And nothing passes just because nothing lasts.
-Philip Roth

~MASTERMAGNUS

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 41

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 4:48:40 AM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Octavia:

I do hear a difference for sure in how these are worded. The first example is said in such a way as to state that the person submitting is actively doing so. Making a choice to.

I do not disagree with this statement.

quote:

The second one is passive. It suggests that something outside of her is going to "make" it happen.

Perhaps for me it does.

I wish to be with someone whom, I trust enough, that a desire to “let go” is created; that desire, as others put it; “the inevitable”, is what I will surrender to; therefore, enabling me to submit completely to him, because of who he is; not what he is.

The first implies to me that the decision to submit would be based on a need to be “under control”.

While the first example is likely to “start the engines”, without that trust; I will never be able to get off the ground; and I so wish to fly.

quote:

Relieves her of taking any personal responsibility for the action of submission.

Hopefully, my explanation above clarifies my prospective better.

quote:

The second one also keeps the two roles, Dom and sub as equals whereas the first clearly raises the Master above his sub.

I believe Dom and sub should be equal, in the aspect of “importance to the relationship”.

The first statement implies to me; while I believe I belong at my Masters feet, if I belonged to this person; I would be kept under his feet; to me, a very big difference.

I also, have the rest of his messages and profile to go by, so I understand, my perception of the given message; differs somewhat because of that.

LuckyAlbatross, and Darcyandthedark,

Both of your explanations were very useful in helping me understand where the term fits in the type of relationship I am looking for. Thank you.

Juliaoceania:

I’m not sure why, but your post gave me a mental image of someone riding down a river in a canoe. They see a sign stating 150ft waterfall up ahead. They remain still instead of trying to paddle for shore, because that is what the person who is with them wants, and as I watch them get closer to the waterfall, I wonder; when they start to go over, are they going to grab the sides of the canoe, thinking “Oh crap, this could really hurt!” or will they throw their hands up in the air and scream “Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!”

*shrugs* It just comes to me; what can I say?

Thank you, all.

k

< Message edited by charmdpetKeira -- 6/14/2007 4:51:49 AM >

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to octavia)

Post #: 42

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 6:10:40 AM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

TennesseeRain:

Surrendering does not imply defeat to me. I surrender willingly to my Master...and in doing so, give up my power. Maybe it is the wording "yields to His power" that is implying defeat to you. It sounds as though his power is forcing the surrender.

I think you are right. It is not the word “surrender” alone, that gives me that “This ain’t a good thing” feeling, it is the sentence in its entirety, and the fact that, I read the rest of his e-mail. *impish grin*

quote:

To me, a D/s relationship is more than the submissve opening up and connecting with the Dominant. I think there does have to be a power exchange, but that power exchange is not forced, it is given (surrendered).

I believe; opening up and connecting, is what enhances the power exchange, enables it to happen; which in turn, creates a stronger energy exchange. Otherwise, I would think of it as being regulated, or restricted, by the party who is not open.

quote:

NoirUMC

Surrender to get what you want?

How applicable is something like that?

I am confused as to which statement in the OP these refer to; the one from the e-mail, or what I said?

quote:

Since I'm not interested in surrendering, I'm not qualified to answer.

If I’m not mistaken, this statement qualifies as an answer. ;) *smiles*

I have found the responses to this thread to be very helpful in gaining a better understanding of the word “surrender”, in a D/s context.

I have learned that in many cases, my mental diagram of what I want in a D/s relationship, is very similar to other’s, with the exception of my having used different terminology. Other’s diagrams look similar, except for the fact that the labels have been placed in different locations, but still lead back to the same main source, perhaps for different reasons though; and still others, have completely different diagrams.

I found it all very interesting and insightful.

Thank you, all.

Sincerely,

k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to TennesseeRain)

Post #: 43

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 6:40:05 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

Juliaoceania:

I’m not sure why, but your post gave me a mental image of someone riding down a river in a canoe. They see a sign stating 150ft waterfall up ahead. They remain still instead of trying to paddle for shore, because that is what the person who is with them wants, and as I watch them get closer to the waterfall, I wonder; when they start to go over, are they going to grab the sides of the canoe, thinking “Oh crap, this could really hurt!” or will they throw their hands up in the air and scream “Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!”

*shrugs* It just comes to me; what can I say?

I find this very odd thing to say to me, are you implying that the way I feel like surrendering in my relationship is like blindly following someone over a waterfall with blind trust? I have been seeing my Daddy for over a year, and been communicating with him well over that, do you think that these feelings just come up overnight? I can assure you that they do not.

I find your posts to people that do not agree with your worldview highly condescending, good luck with that.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Post #: 44

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 7:00:14 AM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

“The submissive yields to His power and surrenders herself, body and mind, completely to His control.”

This is a statement, from an e-mail I received. While I understand what the author is saying, something about the word “surrender” does not feel right to me, in a D/s context.

To me, it implies defeat; that I have/would be giving up something/self.

It would seem more accurate to say, a good D/s relationship would cause the submissive to open up, and connect with their Dom; or is it just me?

Thoughts?

Sincerely,

k

About a month ago, I decided to change professions, moving from the restaurant business to a job as a butcher at a local corporate grocery store.

The corporation had particular standards they wanted regarding physical appearance...and these standards included me shaving my very much beloved beard.

This is something that is important to me and the fact that I wanted to keep it has influenced my decisions regarding choice in certain jobs in the past. I've passed up many part time bartender and waiter jobs so I wont be forced to shave my beard.

Now, however, I was in quite the conundrum. I could either accept the reality of the situation, surrender to what the corporation wanted, and take this job that I so badly wanted or I couldn't.

There wasn't any if, ands, or buts about it. I couldn't have my cake and eat it too.

Now...I am beardless and am apprenticing as a butcher.

Did I lose a part of myself in the process? Did I sacrifice part of my self and my identity because I gave up something that was quite fond of in regards to my self image?

Not really...I would say my sense of self changed and evolved based on what I surrendered to the circumstances of reality.

Surrender to me, in the sense of slavery, is much in the same context.

Its not a one time instant decision where a slave becomes an instant doormat for me...even if some want to romanticize it that way.

Rather its a constant chain of choices where the slave is confronted with a decision or order they don't like or don't want to do or don't feal like doing and does it anyways because I am the one who has the authority.

You cant be a slave and expect to always do what you want and would like and would prefer. You can't have your cake and eat it too

Everytime they move past their own fealings and what they want in adherence to my authority, they aren't losing a part of their identity or self, but rather evolving in their identity as a slave and progressing in their submission toward me.

Now, on the flip side, surrender applies to me as well. Anytime someone sets a goal, they have to sacrifice things to reach that goal. They have to surrender to the circumstances.

If I want someone to be able to cook food the way I like it and food that I enjoy, I am going to have to take quite a lot of time out of my life to teach them how to cook. I might also have to endear some food that I might not particularly like until they get better. I will either have to accept these circumstances and realities or continue to cook for myself all the time.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 6/14/2007 7:10:02 AM >

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(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Post #: 45

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 7:09:06 AM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I find this very odd thing to say to me, are you implying that the way I feel like surrendering in my relationship is like blindly following someone over a waterfall with blind trust?

No, I am saying I am not sure I understand what you were implying by your post.

I have taken into account that one in such a position, might “throw up their hands and scream weeeeee!!!”, because they actually enjoy the ride, that they are able to do so because, they completely trust the one they are with to keep them safe, while going over that waterfall.

quote:

I have been seeing my Daddy for over a year, and been communicating with him well over that, do you think that these feelings just come up overnight? I can assure you that they do not.

Not in my experience.

quote:

I find your posts to people that do not agree with your worldview highly condescending, good luck with that.

Perhaps you would not mind pointing out what I have said, that has made you feel this way?

Sincerely,

k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 46

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 7:11:21 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

“The submissive yields to His power and surrenders herself, body and mind, completely to His control.”

This is a statement, from an e-mail I received. While I understand what the author is saying, something about the word “surrender” does not feel right to me, in a D/s context.

To me, it implies defeat; that I have/would be giving up something/self.

It would seem more accurate to say, a good D/s relationship would cause the submissive to open up, and connect with their Dom; or is it just me?

Thoughts?

Sincerely,

k

As you might imagine, if you have ever read any of my postings, I am on the side where surrender is not necessarily a negative thing. It depends on the context of the situation. LA used a very nice application of surrender in describing what one does when they find themselves in a rainstorm.

I find it interesting that the word submission means, at the very least...and as you yourself noted...to yield your will to that of another which is a form of surrender ( I could be wrong but it seems to me like the last time I checked a thesaurus, surrender is often used as a substitute for yield. Not a completely identical term but close) and yet, many who claim the title fight the idea that submission means giving over or "worse", surrendering something, to another. Some seem to want to..."liberate" D/s from its "antiquated" notions of one "taking" control and one "giving" it up.

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Post #: 47

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 7:20:00 AM

octavia

Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

quote:

I find this very odd thing to say to me, are you implying that the way I feel like surrendering in my relationship is like blindly following someone over a waterfall with blind trust?

No, I am saying I am not sure I understand what you were implying by your post.

I have taken into account that one in such a position, might “throw up their hands and scream weeeeee!!!”, because they actually enjoy the ride, that they are able to do so because, they completely trust the one they are with to keep them safe, while going over that waterfall.

quote:

I have been seeing my Daddy for over a year, and been communicating with him well over that, do you think that these feelings just come up overnight? I can assure you that they do not.

Not in my experience.
quote:

I find your posts to people that do not agree with your worldview highly condescending, good luck with that.

Perhaps you would not mind pointing out what I have said, that has made you feel this way?

Sincerely,

k

I dunno, but I get why Julia would get that. Kinda sounded to me like you were talking down to her too.
Oh wait a minute, maybe that was me you were talking down too...

I very much agree that trust needs to be in place to facilitate surrender. Some people trust differently than others. The original statement simply refers to the time of surrender nothing more. A person can make whatever assumptions they want about the context and history. The point is.. I desire to get to EXACTLY that place. To be able to have that level of surrender. You clearly don't. You wanted to change it to something different. *shrugs*
to each their own.

What Julia described sounds perfectly lovely and wonderful to me. Damn those happy collared subs!

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Post #: 48

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 7:23:28 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
to yield your will to that of another which is a form of surrender ( I could be wrong but it seems to me like the last time I checked a thesaurus, surrender is often used as a substitute for yield.

Yes I've never tended to like the term yield because to me it carries a connotation that one's will was headed in a certain direction, and then got stopped/redirected somewhere else, and not fully willingly.

I know it's not necessarily like that and many use it as one of the multitude of flowery romantic terms in the scene and mean it positively, but I guess for me I know relationships require everyone working together and being fulfilled together, that "yielding" doesn't seem like the best word to describe the whole dynamic.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 49

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 7:24:30 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMagnus321
LuckyAlbatross- your analogy of surrendering to the rain is brilliant. Acceptance of reality, the soul and core of our experience, is very Zen-like... as well as a deep understanding of the fact that everything changes, eternally... we are in a state of flux, very dynamic, not at ALL static... that thought took me only minutes to understand, and I don't know how many reincarnations to master.

HA No kidding, still not there yet.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MasterMagnus321)

Post #: 50

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 7:27:51 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
to yield your will to that of another which is a form of surrender ( I could be wrong but it seems to me like the last time I checked a thesaurus, surrender is often used as a substitute for yield.

Yes I've never tended to like the term yield because to me it carries a connotation that one's will was headed in a certain direction, and then got stopped/redirected somewhere else, and not fully willingly.

I know it's not necessarily like that and many use it as one of the multitude of flowery romantic terms in the scene and mean it positively, but I guess for me I know relationships require everyone working together and being fulfilled together, that "yielding" doesn't seem like the best word to describe the whole dynamic.

When I think of the fact that "to yield" means a conscious decision to give over...accept what is...then it is a good start.

The dynamic grows from there but there has to be that beginning.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 51

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 7:30:52 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Yeah I get that, but it's not the buzz/resonance that I get from the term.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 52

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 8:06:28 AM

frustratinggirl

Posts: 29
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

As someone who leans towards Zen/Tao views of life, surrendering is definitely a positive thing.

As a friend very eloquently put it, surrender doesn't mean that when it rains, you accept and get wet and don't do anything. It means you surrender to what you are/where you are/what life brings you and go from there. You still go into the house, get the umbrella and take care of business, but you accept/surrender to what IS, and that is where you find bliss.

What a great way of expressing it! That analogy will now be permanently ingrained into my own conceptual framework.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 53

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 8:08:49 AM

Duty2Please

Posts: 74
Joined: 4/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

“The submissive yields to His power and surrenders herself, body and mind, completely to His control.”

This is a statement, from an e-mail I received. While I understand what the author is saying, something about the word “surrender” does not feel right to me, in a D/s context.

To me, it implies defeat; that I have/would be giving up something/self.

It would seem more accurate to say, a good D/s relationship would cause the submissive to open up, and connect with their Dom; or is it just me?

Thoughts?

Sincerely,

k

"Thoughts?"

Thoughts? Thoughts! No, no, no -- this is all backwards.

This thread is analyzing the word "surrender" is just waaaaaay too cold. "Surrender" is one of the hottest words we got in this thing it is we do, baby, and digging in with your scalpel to figure out its anatomy is NOT ENOUGH. Nothing wrong with analyzing and taking apart anything, but just remember that you are so not done when the exploratory surgery is over and you wheel it out of that antiseptic operating room. NO! Don't you dare leave that word alone just yet. You've got to nurse it back and recover its vitality if you really want to understand it. Because you have to watch the way it moves when it's healthy.

For it is a very moving word.

You don't understand "surrender" just by thinking about it. In this thing it is we do, you start to understand this one by feeling it.

"Surrender" is that hot essence my domme takes from me when we're together, alone and I'm naked on the floor at her feet. Don't give me no crap about me not being a full-time slave or a 24/7 anything or an I've-got-limits or this-is-what-the-contract-says. Quit thinkin' baby and feel that surrender!

"Surrender" wraps itself around the way I wrap myself around her will and if she doesn't grab hold of it and squeeze it for her very own to use and mark and play with what is Hers even if its only to walk away and leave me dying here naked on the floor, wondering, hoping, screaming inside patiently for her to come back but here on the floor because whatever whatever whatever I have I have just given over I need her desperately to take it

"Surrender" doesn't work as well when it's just read. It should be heard and it should be spoken, and in no every-day, normal voice. Nnuh-UH! It needs to be whispered softly in your dominants ear as you lie sweaty in bed after sex or barked out to your love slave as she balks at doing something new or squealed as the submissive loses control and the dam bursts on that orgasm.

Works best when naked.

"Surrender" goes deeper than poetry. Surrender is one of those words that goes from your heart to your lips or from the heart to the lips of the one you own and into your ear and directly to your heart. And the genitals of both parties. There ain't no brain in that itinerary, baby.

You can analyze it all you want on a message board, but you can't know what it means until you strap it on and let it start fondling you and then, when the feeling is over or it subsides, start remembering it and start answering the question you're asking yourself: what the hell was that?

Listen, all of you: Analyze it all you want, just don't wear out my word because a lot of us need it when we travel in sub space. [edited to add: And we, sub or dominant, need it locked up in that quiet, secure place inside us when we're out there doing our duty, away from the other person -- we may lock it up differently with our contracts and we may not be a slave, but we know it's a wild animal and no tame pet] You can attempt to work it out in your heads and on this thread but when you're all done with it, you just leave it on that pedestal where it belongs.

"Something about the word 'surrender' doesn't feel right to me in a D/s context."

Baby, feeling surrender IS the context.

< Message edited by Duty2Please -- 6/14/2007 8:51:25 AM >

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Post #: 54

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 8:10:33 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Yes I've never tended to like the term yield because to me it carries a connotation that one's will was headed in a certain direction, and then got stopped/redirected somewhere else, and not fully willingly.

I know it's not necessarily like that and many use it as one of the multitude of flowery romantic terms in the scene and mean it positively, but I guess for me I know relationships require everyone working together and being fulfilled together, that "yielding" doesn't seem like the best word to describe the whole dynamic.

I tend to dislike the word 'yield' - it implies to me that a person is giving into something that wasn't the goal or achievement aimed for and doesn't feel natural or fluid but more 'designed'.

Peace

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 55

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 8:13:33 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Duty2Please

Thoughts? Thoughts! No, no, no -- this is all backwards.

This thread is analyzing the word "surrender" is just waaaaaay too cold. "Surrender" is one of the hottest words we got in this thing it is we do, baby, and digging in with your scalpel to figure out its anatomy is NOT ENOUGH. Nothing wrong with analyzing and taking apart anything, but just remember that you are so not done when the exploratory surgery is over and you wheel it out of that antiseptic operating room. NO! Don't you dare leave that word alone just yet. You've got to nurse it back and recover its vitality if you really want to understand it. Because you have to watch the way it moves when it's healthy.

For it is a very moving word.

You don't understand "surrender" just by thinking about it. In this thing it is we do, you start to understand this one by feeling it.

"Surrender" is that hot essence my domme takes from me when we're together, alone and I'm naked on the floor at her feet. Don't give me no crap about me not being a full-time slave or a 24/7 anything or an I've-got-limits or this-is-what-the-contract-says. Quit thinkin' baby and feel that surrender!

"Surrender" wraps itself around the way I wrap myself around her will and if she doesn't grab hold of it and squeeze it for her very own to use and mark and play with what is Hers even if its only to walk away and leave me dying here naked on the floor, wondering, hoping, screaming inside patiently for her to come back but here on the floor because whatever whatever whatever I have I have just given over I need her desperately to take it

"Surrender" doesn't work as well when it's just read. It should be heard and it should be spoken, and in no every-day, normal voice. Nnuh-UH! It needs to be whispered softly in your dominants ear as you lie sweaty in bed after sex or barked out to your love slave as she balks at doing something new or squealed as the submissive loses control and the dam bursts on that orgasm.

Works best when naked.

"Surrender" goes deeper than poetry. Surrender is one of those words that goes from your heart to your lips or from the heart to the lips of the one you own and into your ear and directly to your heart. And the genitals of both parties. There ain't no brain in that itinerary, baby.

You can analyze it all you want on a message board, but you can't know what it means until you strap it on and let it start fondling you and then, when the feeling is over or it subsides, start remembering it and start answering the question you're asking yourself: what the hell was that?

Listen, all of you: Analyze it all you want, just don't wear out my word because a lot of us need it when we travel in sub space. You can attempt to work it out in your heads and on this thread but when you're all done with it, you just leave it on that pedestal where it belongs.

"Something about the word 'surrender' doesn't feel right to me in a D/s context."

Baby, feeling surrender IS the context.

All I can say to that is - DAMN!

Peace and Rapture

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Duty2Please)

Post #: 56

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 8:24:20 AM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

The Definition of Surrender via dictionary.com:

1.
to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police.

2.
to give (oneself) up, as to the police.

3.
to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.: He surrendered himself to a life of hardship.

4.
to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.).

5.
to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another. –verb (used without object)

6.
to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield. –noun

7.
the act or an instance of surrendering.

8.
Insurance. the voluntary abandonment of a life-insurance policy by the owner for any of its nonforfeiture values.

9.
the deed by which a legal surrendering is made.

For me personally surrender is a word that i have used in the past and present. When i accepted and was given my collar i surrendered not only myself, but my limits, my fears, and my control of what happened from that point on.

To me the word surrender isn't a word that is used by wannabe subs or slaves because, in many circumstances of our lifestyle surrendering one thing or another does happen and at least in my case I've done it whole heartedly. We surrender to correction, punnishment, discipline, the pressing of what was once a limit or maybe still in ways is, we surrender ourselves to maybe forms of play that we dont particularly like but know our tops really enjoy, etc but it's not because we feel we need to it's because we truely want to be pleasing to our Dominants.

I'm not going to get into the whole your wrong and i'm right because everyones got an opinion and everyone is entitled to that opinion.

< Message edited by meticulousgirl -- 6/14/2007 8:25:43 AM >

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 57

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 8:27:38 AM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira.
I agree, a balance based on a pivot point, not on equality; yes?

Nothingis ever 50/50. At times we take more than we give, its natural, its balance, in the end it's about being healthy and happy, not the actual 'score.'

quote:

I was very much the same way; it just wasn’t being presented in a way that made sense to me.

Maybe the person who sent you the original quote, will read the boards and see that is caused you some confusion and made you take a step back. Its all about learning. Glad you see things in a different perspective, presentation really is everything.

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http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Post #: 58

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/14/2007 8:37:53 AM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

As you might imagine, if you have ever read any of my postings, I am on the side where surrender is not necessarily a negative thing. It depends on the context of the situation. LA used a very nice application of surrender in describing what one does when they find themselves in a rainstorm.

I agree. And due to LA’s example, I do not find the inevitable to be a Dominate standing in front of me, and me not being able to refrain from submitting; the inevitable would be that, a Dominate who has gained my trust to a point where I feel safe, is going to create a desire in me to submit to him; and that is what I believe I would be surrendering to; the desire that trust creates.

Sincerely,

k

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Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 59

RE: surrendering or ? - 6/15/2007 9:01:15 AM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

Duty2Please:

I do understand what you are saying in your post, and I appreciate the time and effort you put into it; thank you.

In my first D/s relationship I surrendered to my Dom, and his ability to dominate me. I went on gut instinct that he wouldn’t kill me, but he did very little to “earn” my trust.

I did what ever he told me, under the premise that I was owned by him. I don’t know if you read my “need help with wording” thread, but that was the result of my sitting around for approximately 6 months, due that premises; until …. Well, perhaps you will read the thread. It’s under “general discussion”.

Next time, I hope to do it the way I described to “CreativeDominant”.
Please give me your honest opinion; does it still appear that I am confused?

Sincerely,

k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to Duty2Please)

Post #: 60

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