RE: surrendering or ?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: surrendering or ?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: surrendering or ?

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: surrendering or ? - 6/16/2007 11:01:16 PM

Duty2Please

Posts: 74
Joined: 4/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

In my first D/s relationship I surrendered to my Dom, and his ability to dominate me. I went on gut instinct that he wouldn’t kill me, but he did very little to “earn” my trust. I did what ever he told me, under the premise that I was owned by him.

You surrender what your brain tells you is prudent to surrender -- up to a point, and then sometimes you take a hop, skip or parachute jump once you have enough knowledge of the dominant to make the risk not too risky.

quote:

I don’t know if you read my “need help with wording” thread, but that was the result of my sitting around for approximately 6 months, due that premises; until …. Well, perhaps you will read the thread. It’s under “general discussion”.

Not where I can find it. Perhaps you'll post a link.

quote:

Next time, I hope to do it the way I described to “CreativeDominant”.
Please give me your honest opinion; does it still appear that I am confused?

Confused maybe in the way you posed the initial question, but not confused when you say: "a Dominate [dammit, it's "Dominant"] who has gained my trust to a point where I feel safe, is going to create a desire in me to submit to him; and that is what I believe I would be surrendering to; the desire that trust creates." You got it, babe. You do your thinking before you do your surrendering. Don't parachute out of that plane till you've checked the straps. When you jump, enjoy the view.

You must know all this, but I'm going to say it because it's always hard for me to shut up: You don't have to surrender everything. It doesn't have to be 24/7 or all areas of life. You can have limits and contracts and contract periods. None of that prevents you from that feeling of surrender, and it's part of what will make you feel safe as you get to know your dominant and very coldly decide whether and how much you can trust him. But since surrender is a feeling, you can fence in little safe areas where you can trust your domme enough to surrender to him, even as you're checking him out and waiting to decide what larger areas you can fence in, or whether you want to do away with the fences altogether. I haven't said a thing you don't already know, right?

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Profile

Post #: 61

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/16/2007 11:24:54 PM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I believe that submision is given, not taken, therefore the submisive must surrender to the Dominant....

Just my opinion.

:))

Johnny Reble

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Profile

Post #: 62

RE: surrenering or ? - 6/16/2007 11:29:00 PM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

LadyHeart:

I believe, it's all good; and I'm for, live and let live. :)

Sincerely,

k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to LadyHeart)

Profile

Post #: 63

RE: surrendering or ? - 6/16/2007 11:55:06 PM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

You surrender what your brain tells you is prudent to surrender -- up to a point, and then sometimes you take a hop, skip or parachute jump once you have enough knowledge of the dominant to make the risk not too risky.

Yes.

quote:

Not where I can find it. Perhaps you'll post a link.

My bad, it was “Ask a Master”
http://www.collarchat.com/m_989315/mpage_1/key_need%2Chelp%2Cwording/tm.htm

quote:

Confused maybe in the way you posed the initial question,

Yes, I was confused about what question I needed to ask, to find the answer I was looking for. :)

quote:

but not confused when you say: "a Dominate [dammit, it's "Dominant"]

*smiles* If I remind myself enough times; I will remember to check for it automatically. ;) ty

quote:

who has gained my trust to a point where I feel safe, is going to create a desire in me to submit to him; and that is what I believe I would be surrendering to; the desire that trust creates." You got it, babe.

Thank you, that means a lot to me.

quote:

You do your thinking before you do your surrendering. Don't parachute out of that plane till you've checked the straps. When you jump, enjoy the view.

Mmmmm, I do want to fly.

You must know all this, but I'm going to say it because it's always hard for me to shut up: You don't have to surrender everything. It doesn't have to be 24/7 or all areas of life. You can have limits and contracts and contract periods. None of that prevents you from that feeling of surrender, and it's part of what will make you feel safe as you get to know your dominant and very coldly decide whether and how much you can trust him. But since surrender is a feeling, you can fence in little safe areas where you can trust your domme enough to surrender to him, even as you're checking him out and waiting to decide what larger areas you can fence in, or whether you want to do away with the fences altogether. I haven't said a thing you don't already know, right?

*smiles* Right!

Thank you for answering my question.

Sincerely,

k

< Message edited by charmdpetKeira -- 6/17/2007 12:01:38 AM >

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to Duty2Please)

Profile

Post #: 64