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RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 9:56:35 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Thank you for the thoughtful and entertaining answers to my questions.

Is there a limit to the number of questions you will answer from one person?

Which is better Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme?

There is no need to thank me, I perform a service. One day your Don will call upon you to perform a service for me and when that day comes you will do it.

I am a no limit answer guy. There is nothing I cannot answer.

As far as the donut question goes, Krispy Kreme is expensive but good, but I am addicted to Dunkin Donuts jelly filled donuts, so... Dunkin wins by a hair.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to slavegirljoy)

Post #: 41

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 9:59:24 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

What is the Meaning of Liff?

Ahhhh... the age old question. The meaning of liff is simple: Doo-doo upon others as you would have them doo-doo onto you.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Mikal)

Post #: 42

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:01:08 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPoetress

Oh Magic Eightball Wielder, will I be the one who screams "B-I-N-G-O" this weekend, while at the casino?

Sadly no, but you will be heard mumbling something about "that fucking Gauge bastard" under your breath.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to MsPoetress)

Post #: 43

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:05:44 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: soultoshare

well, just for good measure.........

How is kitty doing?

Dancing belly-button lint. Nice touch.

Alley is wonderful. She escaped from my apartment last Thursday. She was hunting squirrels and she got over zealous and pushed her way out a window screen. I got her back, but not without a good, exhausting chase around the neighborhood. I wasn't angry with her (well, sort of) but I was more distressed that I live around busy streets. Like I needed another source for gray hair.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to soultoshare)

Post #: 44

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:08:25 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

I've "Asked Gauge" before..... the Man's a genius!
Bow's to the King..........

You, my dear, are a goddess among mere mortals. What you say is true, but I would never be so presumptuous as to say it myself.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 45

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:15:40 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: soultoshare

In the interest of fair play.....

What are the winning lottery numbers for saturday in AZ? (Yes, I'll share if you're right!)

04, 10, 13, 27, 35

Disclaimer: Gauge and his subsidiary enterprises are not responsible for any financial loss due to his prognostications. Ask your doctor if Gauge is right for you.

Side effects include, nausea, vomiting, liver dysfunction, social dysfunction, not being "twue", inability to understand other "Ask me" threads and sexual excitement.

Do not expose Gauge to direct sunlight. Gauge is not to be taken while driving or operating heavy machinery. Do not drink alcohol and take Gauge. In case of fire break glass.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to soultoshare)

Post #: 46

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:17:00 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

If i put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room, which one will win?

The electric company.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 47

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:21:40 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

are my washer and dryer really taking longer this morning just because im trying to get ready to leave for a week in sunny fla before noon today?

Washer and driers are equipped with an urgency sensor. You might have never heard of an urgency sensor before but you have encountered them before. Traffic lights, mini-mart registers and Xerox copiers all have them. They all assess the urgency of what it is you need to do and then they switch into "I'm broken" mode. Plan ahead... Noah didn't build the ark when it was raining.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

Post #: 48

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:22:54 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Don't you think this advice is a little reckless? You don't even know what brand they are.

Concerned Parent

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 49

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:24:17 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MyMasterStephen

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy

Can i ask 2 questions? (In addition to this question, that is.)

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

Of course you can ask two questions.... I think the REAL question should be stated, "May I ask two questions?"

I will sit here with baited breath.

I think the REAL response should be stated, "I will sit here with bated breath."

Great... a critic and a heckler. I was eating minnows last night... does THAT explain the spelling?

Get yer own thread love-muffin.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to MyMasterStephen)

Post #: 50

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:26:42 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublimelysensual

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

Hey Gauge... what's the best way to make a woman come to your thread? I mean, you don't even allow bananas...

If I write it, they will come.

If they do not come, I will drag their sorry asses here by their hair and twist their nipples until they post something.

Oh... onay onya ethay nanabay.

Promises.. promises..

oh crap..did i just ruin my chances for hair pulling and nipple twisting?!?!

-a

Not at all, we are still accepting applications.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to sublimelysensual)

Post #: 51

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:29:37 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

If I cease eating today...When will I stop producing poop?

Whenever you stop responding to message board threads.

You are domiguy, poop is your forte.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 52

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:32:19 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

what makes your "Ask me" thread better (or worst) than the others?

Because it is me answering the questions. I do not claim superiority over my fellow "Ask me" sages, I just do the very best I can to make them look like they are as bright as a two watt bulb.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 53

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:34:25 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Don't you think this advice is a little reckless? You don't even know what brand they are.

Concerned Parent

Sure I do. They are Circle-K branded.

Sincerely,

Hoss

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 54

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:38:56 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

If I cease eating today...When will I stop producing poop?

Whenever you stop responding to message board threads.

You are domiguy, poop is your forte.

Well written.....Something I might have said myself....Of course with perhaps a tad bit more grace and style....And maybe with a "cunt" or two thrown in for spice.

_____________________________

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 55

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:40:14 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Oh wise one -

Is black really my colour?

Peace

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 56

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:41:50 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

If I cease eating today...When will I stop producing poop?

Whenever you stop responding to message board threads.

You are domiguy, poop is your forte.

Well written.....Something I might have said myself....Of course with perhaps a tad bit more grace and style....And maybe with a "cunt" or two thrown in for spice.

I am not going to call a guy a cunt. Bastard, dickhead or fuckwit would be my choices.

Better dickhead?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 57

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:45:07 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Oh wise one -
Is black really my colour?

Peace
the.dark.

My dear Dark, you would grace any colour you choose. But black is MY colour so BACK OFF!

***this post was modified to include the old English spelling of color***

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 58

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:48:27 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Oh wise one -
Is black really my colour?

Peace
the.dark.

My dear Dark, you would grace any colour you choose. But black is MY colour so BACK OFF!

***this post was modified to include the old English spelling of color***

But...but....but....won't you share? Surely there is enough black to go around?

Peace

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 59

RE: Ask Gauge! Screw the other threads! - 6/14/2007 10:50:37 AM

litleone8620

Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline

Besides peer pressure, what made you REALLY start this thread?

_____________________________

He who laughs last didn't get the joke

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 60

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