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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/14/2007 5:38:45 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I have totally turned away from people who had too many issues/baggage for me to handle.

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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/14/2007 5:42:11 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile

For Slaves
have you've or somebody you know been turned away by a Master for having baggage from a past abusive relationship and life, or accepted?

For Masters
have you turned away or know another Master that has turned a prospective slave away for having baggage or simply accepted it?

I am a submissive, but I have broken it off with men who had more issues than I could handle.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/14/2007 6:09:56 PM

tulipgoose

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It truly depends on whether or not they are willing to work on the issues and carry well the baggage which they may have. I have plenty of my own truthfully.... However, I have been with people who have made excuse after excuse not to make things better. People who regularly broke promises. We have all made mistakes and many of us have made huge ones, or have huge parts to us which may not have been desirable. If someone is willing, able, and ready to work on these things...... well why not give them a chance? I mean, obviously many here see things differently...... and there are some things which cannot work for certain people..... For example: Distance, the existence of UMs, TMJ, back problems, previous bouts of abuse as this topic is discussing, etc etc etc..... If base desires and needs are not met for a specific person it won't work....... but each of those people will have someone out there seeking what they seek and able to work around such things....

< Message edited by tulipgoose -- 6/14/2007 6:11:05 PM >

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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/14/2007 6:31:22 PM

hereyesruponyou

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My experience says give me someone with minimal training and good sense and intuition over someone with degrees and no real life experience. But also save me from those who "know better than me" just because they say so. Such a fine line there...

I am at a point in my life where i seek people who are stable in their lives. It's a choice i make for me. Of course what i consider unacceptable baggage may be alot more than others would. I have been turned down for having a um and being a single parent (therefore not available enough), and i regularly turn down people who are married or have a significant other they don't share this lifestyle with. Honestly i don't want the drama that can come of those situations. Abuse would not be a reason for me to walk away though, it would just make me go much slower

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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/15/2007 11:10:08 AM

heartofakajira

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PassionateTulip

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartofakajira
what experience can an 18 year old CHILD have?

Quite possibly more than someone of many 3 or even 4 times their own age. I know 5 year olds with more experience and knowledge than some who are in their 40's or 50's......... Hell, my mother who is 60 lives in her own lil world with very little experience ~ If she hasn't seen it, to her it doesn't and will never exist or be possible~ I had to explain to her what "friends with benefits" are a year ago.... She said "No, no one would ever do that! It's just silly!"....... The most important thing to remember is that all the experience in the world does not prepare one for what is to come. Age is merely a measurement of time. It is what we do with that time which gives age any meaning. Some younger folks choose to make something of themselves and it is not our fault that you or whoever else MAY have chosen to mess around in early adulthood..... Some do, some don't..... we all have our paths and they lead us to where we need to be, when we need to be there. Haven't we had enough age/expereince debates here?

Tulip and dark--

book smarts is different than street smarts, and vice versa...but, to each their own i suppose.

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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/15/2007 12:07:39 PM

tulipgoose

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Ack, sorry, I keep going between my names, and keep forgeting to change back when I reply!

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartofakajira
Tulip and dark--

book smarts is different than street smarts, and vice versa...but, to each their own i suppose.

Of course they are different. However, every induvidual person has their own pace and learning curve. Some people are literally raised in a household where they see this lifestyle lived out day after day. While it is not my place to say whether that is right or wrong, moral or not, etc, it IS fact. Some people are born with more common sense than others, more intuitively, with a grasp on things around them.

Some people at exteremly young ages (again, without bringing right or wrong into it) are exposed to worldly happenings that many never experience in the whole time of their lives. It is not our place to say who has more experience than another. Many sit around and do nothing while others do so many things in short periods of time before anyone realizes they are even capable.

For example: I was offered a contract for some of my writing when I was barely a teenager, on very "mature" (NOT sexual) subjects, on the world and lifestyles. I have been published many times, and have done many things which have given people new perspectives on their ways of living.

I am not trying to change who people are, I am merely striving to show people that NO one, no matter what their age, knows everything, nor does age have anything to do with what a person is able to know. Granted the majority of people take time, but who is to say what majority equals? Majority could technically be 51% where as minority would then be 49%. Or it could be as wide a difference as 99% to 1%. Ability and action are not the same thing, and often people never live up to their ability.

One young person can affect the world more powerfully than many aged combined. Think of Anne Frank, as a cliche but important example. Now she seemed to be book smart, in her writing skills, and then street smart in her worldly experiences. Why should a society idolize her, and then belittle what is possible of others? What good does it do to put down someone of a young age? Why not just live and let live like we all learned in Kindergarten? Have we outgrown such values and kindness?

< Message edited by tulipgoose -- 6/15/2007 12:08:39 PM >

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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/15/2007 12:53:57 PM

velvetears

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i agree that maturity doesn't necessarily have much to do with age. i have known young and old very mature people. The majority of people who are mature have been older and the majority of people who are not as mature have been younger. This has been my observation and experience in life - and i have been around a LOT of young people.

Experience is a different story. The more years you live, the more opportunities you have to experience things in life, the more of lifes tradgies and twists and turns you will be exposed to, the more time you will have had to read books, meet people, interact with others, persue things of interest, etc, etc.... It takes time to process what we do in life, what we experience in life and in this process we mature and grow as people. What is so bad about acknowledging that? That's not a put down to younger folk and for any young person to take exception to that just shows how much m ore they need to learn about life. Just my humble opinion.

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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/15/2007 7:08:53 PM

tulipgoose

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While I agree that years do tend to present more opportunity for experience, as each second of life does, I still maintain that some younger folks have experienced more than some older. One of my best friends grew up moving from country to country, thusly experiencing so many vastly different cultures. Her mother was an alcoholic so she knew how to mix more drinks than many bartenders in the whole world by age 12, she had something of a photographic memory, her father and brother ended up looking out for her later on, but still exposing her to more than many people I know in their 60's ever have. She truly taught me more than many teachers I ever had growing up. It all depends on the person, what they are open to, what they desire or care about, and what they are able to do, and what they retain.

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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/15/2007 7:12:47 PM

imthatacheyouhav

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quote:

The most important thing to remember is that all the experience in the world does not prepare one for what is to come.

i couldn't disagree more...experience does indeed prepare us for more...and "whats to come"....thats why its experience....

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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/15/2007 8:29:37 PM

angelic

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Qualifier! i have not read all 5 pages so if this is a repeat...

Because the word 'slave' is subjective.

Some on here, i believe, are being abused, but they do not see it... they see it as 'honoring' or something noble. Then come on and defend the abuse as if it is ok.

Honestly, it bothers the crap outta me that more people on here literally either close their eyes to it... or write it off as 'it's their kink' and we should not interfere... well in my humble opinion.......bulllshit! It is one thing to accept another's 'kink'... it is a completely different thing to accept and excuse abuse under the veil of BDSM or M/s.
~end of rant~

~edited because i can't count~

< Message edited by angelic -- 6/15/2007 8:30:05 PM >

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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/16/2007 9:36:13 AM

tulipgoose

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quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

i couldn't disagree more...experience does indeed prepare us for more...and "whats to come"....thats why its experience....

While experience can give us some tools for some things to come, it does not prepare us for the ultimate of whatever may potentially come. For example, while many here feel it is okay to have one person train and mentor a slave, for another person, when that person ends up in the hands of another chances are the training they received, unless agreed upon by all parties, will be of little use to the new relationship. Everything is so vast... We can try to apply knowledge of one thing (point a) to another (point b), but it's not always the best idea, because point b is not in fact point a, and often the situation can be innapropriately shot down or walked away from over a misunderstanding.

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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/16/2007 2:51:29 PM

liljoy

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yep been turned away because of my baggage and now i'm accepted and loved baggage and all

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile

For Slaves
have you've or somebody you know been turned away by a Master for having baggage from a past abusive relationship and life, or accepted?

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/17/2007 9:07:09 AM

velvetears

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

Qualifier! i have not read all 5 pages so if this is a repeat...

Because the word 'slave' is subjective.

Some on here, i believe, are being abused, but they do not see it... they see it as 'honoring' or something noble. Then come on and defend the abuse as if it is ok.

Honestly, it bothers the crap outta me that more people on here literally either close their eyes to it... or write it off as 'it's their kink' and we should not interfere... well in my humble opinion.......bulllshit! It is one thing to accept another's 'kink'... it is a completely different thing to accept and excuse abuse under the veil of BDSM or M/s.
~end of rant~

~edited because i can't count~

Thank you angelic, your not alone in your sentiments.

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RE: A new path for slaves from abusive M/s - 6/17/2007 1:55:31 PM

WhiplashSmile

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Here's a link that somebody shared with me, it may be a useful resource for somebody or not http://www.wingsoffiresurvivors.com/

I've enjoyed reading a number of the posts on this thread so far.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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