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cheating? - 6/14/2007 2:06:35 PM   
sugarkiss


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/25/2006
Status: offline 		My Master thinks I cheated on him with my ex yesterday, but I so did not. I don't know why he is acting like this, he never has before. Now he says we will still talk, but he doesn't own me anymore. I need him. Any advice on what to do?
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RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 2:21:45 PM   
SirMGD


Posts: 38
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline 		tough one, and sorry.
not really anything much you can do till you figure out why he doesn't trust you. Ex's are always a problem because any new master or lover will likely feel they are more of a weakness for you, and theyre usually right. That's why once you end it with someone, remaining friends with them is dubious if not dangerous. It is however, often emotionally tempting. as something or someone to fall back on. The thing to remember when trust issues like this surface;
Trust must always be earned, never demanded.

(in reply to sugarkiss)
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RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 2:22:02 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well wait until tomorrow, ask him exactly why he believes you cheated.  Listen to him.  And then you calmly explain what actually happened.  Then he can accept it or not.

If he accepts it, you can begin from square one on him building sincere trust in you and the relationship and more mature relationship skills.

If he doesn't, then you must move on.

I find it a bad enough sign that he'd go off so quickly and react so rashly and that alone would make me hesitate to continue with him, but I understand you are in the situation and feel devoted to him.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sugarkiss)
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RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 2:23:10 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirMGD
That's why once you end it with someone, remaining friends with them is dubious if not dangerous.

Only if the people involved are
a) not trustworthy
b) choose future partners who are immature dorks and can't understand becoming friends with ex's or seriously trusting your partner

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SirMGD)
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RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 2:26:25 PM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sugarkiss

My Master thinks I cheated on him with my ex yesterday, but I so did not. I don't know why he is acting like this, he never has before. Now he says we will still talk, but he doesn't own me anymore. I need him. Any advice on what to do?


not saying this is the answer, but maybe he was looking for a way out and instead of telling you; he blamed you in order to give himself an easy way out....

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to sugarkiss)
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RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 2:40:05 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sugarkiss

My Master thinks I cheated on him with my ex yesterday, but I so did not. I don't know why he is acting like this, he never has before. Now he says we will still talk, but he doesn't own me anymore. I need him. Any advice on what to do?


Tell the truth. Tell only the truth. Don't overstate anything to make you look better. If he doesn't believe you, then it is his loss.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to sugarkiss)
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RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 3:35:17 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		The good news is that if he got upset about it, he must care about you.

The bad news is that he doesn't seem to understand why you were with your ex yesterday.  Maybe it was harmless; maybe it wasn't.  You're the only person who knows the answer to that.  So ask yourself the same question, and then tell your master the answer when you're satisfied that you're being honest with yourself.

(in reply to sugarkiss)
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RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 4:03:13 PM   
countrygirl69


Posts: 36
Joined: 12/1/2006
Status: offline 		i agree with kitten it may have been perfect timing  just not for you .i am sorry for you

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
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RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 4:04:42 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		What LordandMaster said is right on the ball, if your master got upset then he does care about you. What bothers me is that he doesn't believe you or seem to trust you. Their might be bigger issues under the surface that need to be addressed.

Let your master cool off for a day or so, then talk to him.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
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RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 5:30:34 PM   
YourShyPet


Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sugarkiss

My Master thinks I cheated on him with my ex yesterday, but I so did not. I don't know why he is acting like this, he never has before. Now he says we will still talk, but he doesn't own me anymore. I need him. Any advice on what to do?


This just screams insecurity to me.


kittin

(in reply to sugarkiss)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 6:40:37 PM   
frustratinggirl


Posts: 29
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline 		It may just be the alpha male instinct to try and beat the living crap of the guy whos near  his territory . 

I agree , id let him cool off for a bit, we all have insecurities, talk it through, it was alittel unfair for him to accuse you of not being trustworthy, see if it settles, but id keep an eye out to see if it was a trait that kept showing up.

(in reply to YourShyPet)
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RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 7:45:31 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		Regaredless if you did or did not in a M/s relationship TRUST is everything

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to sugarkiss)
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RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 7:48:12 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		I have more questions than answers.
Why would he think you cheated?  Were you alone together with your ex for a long
period of time?  Did you have a specific reason for being with your ex, without your Master
being there?  Did you have permission to go see your ex from your Master?

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to sugarkiss)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 8:24:38 PM   
sugarkiss


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/25/2006
Status: offline 		The reason I was with my ex, is his car had been in the shop and I took him to get it after it was fixed. My Master said he drove by where I said we were (which IS where I was) and he didn't see my car. I told my Master I would be with him (me and my ex have a child together).
He has never acted like this before.
Now what?

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 8:32:55 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		I think if he continues acting this way and you can't reason with him, you
will soon be looking for another Master.
Good luck.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to sugarkiss)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 9:10:04 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i disagree.  He not only got upset, he released her... does not show much 'caring' in my mind.  Showing that he cared would have been to listen to her and trust her... not go off halfcocked.  Who knows maybe he's cheating and rather than face her with that he accused her.  Stranger things have happened.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to Lordandmaster)
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RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 9:11:10 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well there's obviously serious trust issues here.  We knew that already, but the fact that he was so suspicious he felt the need to check up on you just screams it point blank.

Specially considering he's the father of your child, you would definitely think your master wuold encourage you to have a positive and healthy friendship together.

I don't know what has caused this lack of trust- if you've done things to create it, or whether he's irrational, or some mix of both- but you both have to decide if your possible future together is worth going through all the steps it will take to grow sincere trust between you both.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 9:31:50 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Ah shit.  Since no one knows anything about you or your relationship with your Dom....Or your relationship with your ex...It is all just guess work.....It gets tricky...There is nothing wrong, in fact it is to be admired that you keep and maintain a good relationship with your ex....But then again that all depends on what transpired between your ex and you?  What kind of relationship did you have?  In many cases it is fine to keep a unified front in dealing with a child but that is all the relationship is....There is no friendship and in many cases this would be the correct and healthy course that should be taken....Perhaps there is no reason that you should be helping your ex or having any contact with him at all outside of dealing with your child.....No advice here....Just ramblings.

_____________________________



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 9:48:24 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		its been my experiance that people will beleave what they want to beleave even in the face of  eresputable(sp) evadence. If your Master wants to beleave you cheated on him for what ever reason one of which may be he just wants an easy guilt free way out of the relationship (though of course this isnt the only reason) then in my opinion that is what he is going to beleave no matter what it is you say to him. It also seems he doesnt wish to trust you, shown by the fact he accused you of cheating as well as the fact that he was cheking up on you.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 9:59:53 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I do not know if he was looking for a way out, or if his reaction shows he cares...  I think that it is usually a bad idea to second guess other people about their motivations for what they do...

I will say that if I was with someone and they did this to me I would be having second and third thoughts about trying to make it "work". He does not trust you, he had accused you wrongfully of doing something that you are not guilty of, and if anyone did this to me that would be the end of it for me probably. I am not one to put up with people accusing me of lying, cheating, or being in any way unethical. I have never been accused of such things to be honest. It would be a dagger in my heart to have that happen.

I would only say please think about whether or not you want to be with someone that would falsely accuse you of things like these. I know someone very dear to my heart that lived with being accused of things she never did, and he ended up beating her, and when she left he stalked her. People who create things in their mind and are paranoid do not make good mates. I would not tolerate a suspicious person in my life.

If you end up working it out, he should be the one to make it right, he is the one that transgressed, and honey... you can't "fix" his fuck up.... and this is his fuck up (at least if what you say is true.. since you have nothing to gain here I will assume it is)

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sugarkiss)
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