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Humiliation Examined - 6/14/2007 9:27:23 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		I would love to hear thoughts on what humiliation play means to people; how you define it, how it makes you feel and what you like or dislike about the different forms of humiliation play.

Cheers,

Sea
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/14/2007 10:08:49 PM   
vaj85uk


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/25/2005
Status: offline 		i am a femme sub and when Mistress humiliates me it gives me a freedom to 'act' what She wants and yet be safe knowing i am being cared for.

She will often humiliate me in public or make me demonstrate my submission to Her publically and i am erotically and emotionally turned on by that.

Anything from making me kiss a butch dyke (something i am not into!!) to spanking as close to being seen as possible, or made to cherish her in public

Knowing She will give me a good hiding when we get back makes me know she wants me to succeed for her

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/14/2007 11:49:16 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vaj85uk


So then for you humiliation is a way to demonstrate your submission as well as experience the flight of going outside your comfort zones. And it seems one aspect that enables this flight is the security and care she provides in the relationship.

Do you engage in humiliation in private and, if so, how do you contrast how you feel when it is in private versus when it is in public?

Thanks for your response!

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to vaj85uk)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/15/2007 12:15:20 AM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I find humiliation play somewhat contradictory. It's a bit like "forced bi." If something is genuinely on someone's limits list, then I would never force it, and if it's not, then it's not really forced. It's the same with humiliation. If someone gets off on so called humiliation, then it's not true humiliation, because otherwise they wouldn't be back for more. I'd prefer to call them humiliation games, as that's closer to the emotional reality of them. I'm trying not to get into semantics here (someone is bound to come up with a dictionary definition, lol) but I would be loathe to do anything that genuinely degraded another person.

I have participated in a scene where a submissive asked to be abused and made fun of but I did it more at the request of his Master, who was a friend, than for his benefit, as I'm not really a fan of topping from the bottom, and a lot of humiliation play seems to me to come into this category. I had an email just this morning asking me to replay a scene from someone's childhood when he was caught dressing in his sister's clothes and thoroughly chastised for it, but for me, this is something you go to a proDomme for, who will happily play out that scene to your script.

What I'm saying is that for me it all feels a bit false, I'm not really into it, but whatever floats your boat...

:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/15/2007 12:53:29 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Humiliation is the loss of ego and self-image.   
It is an effective tool of correction in private and also works wonderfully for control in public.
I like to use a combination of physical + mental humiliation to achieve the full emotional impact.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/15/2007 5:34:08 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHeart
I find humiliation play somewhat contradictory. It's a bit like "forced bi."


I see what you are saying. I have often seen the question that if one likes it, is it really humiliation? I believe it is.

I think one type of humiliation is fairly common in BDSM--so much so that many acts are not even seen as humiliation. This type consists of acts that are humiliating when you look at them from a vanilla perspective (kneeling in front of someone) but do not create any feelings of humiliation when done. I consider these acts to be a form of humiliation that is in the spirit of D/s alone--they are gestures or rituals that represent the D/s dynamic and do not cause any emotional perturbance.

Then there is a type of humiliation that does cause emotional perturbance. Indeed some people play where it does cause emotional pain. I see this to be in the spirit of SM and think of it as a parallel to physical pain. One may enjoy physical pain for the physiological response it creates as well the D/s symbolism it can have but pain remains pain to be endured. The same can be said for SM humiliation for some people.

Thanks for your post.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/15/2007 5:44:07 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval
It is an effective tool of correction in private and also works wonderfully for control in public.
I like to use a combination of physical + mental humiliation to achieve the full emotional impact.


If you don't mind elaborating, would you give an example of private humiliation that is done for correction?

I attended a seminar by Midori where she discussed physical and mental humiliation. A point she raised is that only mental humiliation of some types (I am going to do this to you, and then I am going to make you do this) requires a suspension of disbelief of sorts. Combining physical humiliation (even if with some other activity) with mental humiliation creates a more powerful effect.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/15/2007 11:47:52 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		On the subject of forced anything, my view is as follows. You can force submissives to do things they find humiliating or degrading, yet put as a soft limit. This is saying, i will be humilitaed if you did x, and would rather You didnt, however the choice is yours to make. Hopefully in this scenario, the dominant would stop if they saw it really was too much for you to take.

Forced, while doing roleplay is diffent again. The Dominant knows that the submissive wants to do x, and for roleplays sake, forces the issue. i would imagine many couples find this hot.

Forced to break hard limits, especially involving humiliation is, in my opinion, damaging at least.

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/15/2007 12:29:54 PM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		I love this topic because humiliation is very complex. A lot of people talk about it but few truly understand all the levels or why people find this so sexually exciting. Humiliation is truly the ultimate when it comes to mind fucking.



I know that I've discussed this here before. Each person has *something* that really drives them into sub space where they experience sexual submission. Someone could be naturally submissive but there is a place they go to sexually where they truly relinquish control. Its like a hot button that gives them that erotic rush and send them to a place where almost anything can happen. Its like it takes a level of emasculation or as stated, loss of ego or self. In fact its almost a spiritual state of mind because the person who desires these intense levels of humiliation are strong in every other area of their life. That is unless they have emotional problems and that is a whole other topic.



For me humiliation offers me, as a Domina, several things; it is an emotional process for me to experience that type of adoration. Its needs to be real so if someone tells me they are into humiliation then has a specific fantasy, its like anything else, I'm not interested & not because its not one of my interest but because the most important thing for me is the submission & dynamic between us. So if I am constructive with humiliation (and I have a lot of experience with this) it can take our relationship to soaring highs. It is by far the most passionate within the D/s realm.



I am not really into SM, pain, etc. I mean I like to dabble and some things I find kinda cool. I'm more into the female domination as a spiritual and emotional relationship where one is projective and the other receptive. I am totally and completely into a man/woman worshiping and adoring me really, serving completely and it is through that level of devotion I want/need to explore every facet of their being. 

_____________________________



(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/15/2007 4:30:35 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53


Thanks for your post. Your post inspired a thought with respect to limits. I think you can speak of internally driven limits and externally driven limits.

I see a limit with respect to doing something in public driven more by external considerations. I see a limit for cuckoldry driven more by internal considerations.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 6/15/2007 4:38:52 PM >

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/15/2007 4:37:34 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta
Its like it takes a level of emasculation or as stated, loss of ego or self. In fact its almost a spiritual state of mind because the person who desires these intense levels of humiliation are strong in every other area of their life.


I have heard this concept before--that humiliation can be a path to spirituality--but know little about it. The woman from whom I heard it humbles me with respect to how much I know about BDSM. She made references to eastern and Buddhist philosophies, and about bliss in stripping the ego. She spoke of completely desconstructing the ego and rising from the ashes.

quote:

So if I am constructive with humiliation (and I have a lot of experience with this) it can take our relationship to soaring highs.


If you don't mind elaborating, I am curious to know what you mean by constructive with humiliation?

Thank you for your comments.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to DiannaVesta)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/16/2007 10:41:00 AM   
IwiltakeU


Posts: 16
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		EVERY THING IS RELATIVE  I chose smart professenal ladies for a reason. WE HAVE ARE TRY TO SPEAK SO NOONE TAKES OFFENSE.   I LIKE IN THE RIGHT SETTINGS TO GO AGAINST THE NORM.  I USE WORDS LIKE CUNT SLUT BITCH AND FIND CERTAIN TYPES OF WOMAN LIKE THE CHANGE.   IF YOU ARE OPEN AND HONEST WITH THE SUB OR SLAVE THEN HAVE SOME FUN.   FIND THE RIGHT FIT AND GO F--- WILD.  IF THAT UPSETS HER THEN SHE/HE   MAY BE FOR YOU.   HUMILIATION CAN BE VERY SENSUAL IF YOU ARE SAME PAGE. 
MISTRESS NANCY

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/16/2007 1:03:46 PM   
pinksissyPA


Posts: 90
Joined: 6/2/2006
Status: offline 		my First Owner fem trained me as Her sissy/pleasure/slut/slave and often called cunt & bitch.

At first i hated it but grew to love it as it pleased Her and excited me.

Respectfully,

pink

(in reply to IwiltakeU)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/16/2007 3:01:19 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IwiltakeU

EVERY THING IS RELATIVE  I chose smart professenal ladies for a reason. WE HAVE ARE TRY TO SPEAK SO NOONE TAKES OFFENSE.   I LIKE IN THE RIGHT SETTINGS TO GO AGAINST THE NORM.  I USE WORDS LIKE CUNT SLUT BITCH AND FIND CERTAIN TYPES OF WOMAN LIKE THE CHANGE.   IF YOU ARE OPEN AND HONEST WITH THE SUB OR SLAVE THEN HAVE SOME FUN.   FIND THE RIGHT FIT AND GO F--- WILD.  IF THAT UPSETS HER THEN SHE/HE   MAY BE FOR YOU.   HUMILIATION CAN BE VERY SENSUAL IF YOU ARE SAME PAGE. 
MISTRESS NANCY


You may want to look into treatment for that Turret's syndrome.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to IwiltakeU)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/16/2007 5:21:47 PM   
GuidingLite


Posts: 233
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		Mines enjoys humiliation but would definitely come out throwing down some hands at any personal attacks. shes a sick ass masochist and despises humiliation and degredation play if she thinks its an attack. she can tell the differences

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/17/2007 4:16:24 AM   
MistressRouge


Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline 		Well there are many facets regarding humiliation, not only in verbal context, as many have mentioned here. Objectification, feminisation, verbal and physical humiliation-face slapping, spitting, watersports etc. Coaxing a sub out of his/her comfort zone de-humanising (gimp mode) puppy play, pony play.  Many humiliation practice's verge into degradation/subjugation when the trust is instilled.



_____________________________

My Members Site.
http://mistressrougeuk.c4slive.com/


http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13392

(in reply to GuidingLite)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/17/2007 6:35:05 AM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta
Its like it takes a level of emasculation or as stated, loss of ego or self. In fact its almost a spiritual state of mind because the person who desires these intense levels of humiliation are strong in every other area of their life.


I have heard this concept before--that humiliation can be a path to spirituality--but know little about it. The woman from whom I heard it humbles me with respect to how much I know about BDSM. She made references to eastern and Buddhist philosophies, and about bliss in stripping the ego. She spoke of completely desconstructing the ego and rising from the ashes.

quote:

So if I am constructive with humiliation (and I have a lot of experience with this) it can take our relationship to soaring highs.


If you don't mind elaborating, I am curious to know what you mean by constructive with humiliation?

Thank you for your comments.

Cheers,

Sea


Constructive consider all and makes calulated choices. Destructive is a level of insanity and all about selfishness and ego. One bring postive life enhancing karma while the other doesn't. can you guess which one? lol

I can talk about this more tomorrow when I'm not on my lap top traveling. Jyst ask.

_____________________________



(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/17/2007 8:51:22 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksissyPA
At first i hated it but grew to love it as it pleased Her and excited me.


Thanks for your response.

If you don't mind me asking, are you able to put your finger on what specifically you hated about it, and what helped you look at it differently to change how you felt about it?

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to pinksissyPA)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/17/2007 8:53:35 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite


Yes, humiliation can easily go from ecstacy to disaster. Knowing the underlying reason for a sensitive area can help avoid other activities that could create a  similar response. Thank you for your post to contribute to this thread.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 6/17/2007 9:01:36 PM >

(in reply to GuidingLite)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Humiliation Examined - 6/17/2007 8:58:41 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressRouge
Well there are many facets regarding humiliation, not only in verbal context, as many have mentioned here. Objectification, feminisation, verbal and physical humiliation-face slapping, spitting, watersports etc. Coaxing a sub out of his/her comfort zone de-humanising (gimp mode) puppy play, pony play.  Many humiliation practice's verge into degradation/subjugation when the trust is instilled.


Yes, there are different points that come to mind upon reading your post.

There are core areas of humiliation that can allow people to use their own creativity: objectification and dehumanization, violating the face or mouth, etc. And for some activities (degradation), the humiliation does not create emotional discomfort but is a willing gesture of dominance and submission (and subjugation).

Thank you for your post.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to MistressRouge)
Profile   Post #: 20
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