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RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/15/2007 10:54:55 PM

PoeticPrincess

Posts: 49
Joined: 10/21/2006
Status: offline

mistoferin I think you are well out of order here. You honestly think you have a handle on this situation and that you have the insight but in fact you have used this forum to flame yet another person with your vicious personal insults. Your profile says you are a Dinosaur and I agree with you, less a safe harbour than a guerilla base. Your posts add nothing to help - they are designed to humiliate and carp. Are you a happy woman?

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 21

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/15/2007 11:07:32 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

You are certainly entitled to your opinion. Am I happy? Yes, I am! Thank you for your concern.

(Is this in retaliation for saying I don't have any respect for those who cheat?)

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to PoeticPrincess)

Post #: 22

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/15/2007 11:14:28 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PoeticPrincess

mistoferin I think you are well out of order here. You honestly think you have a handle on this situation and that you have the insight but in fact you have used this forum to flame yet another person with your vicious personal insults. Your profile says you are a Dinosaur and I agree with you, less a safe harbour than a guerilla base. Your posts add nothing to help - they are designed to humiliate and carp. Are you a happy woman?

Maybe you should check out this thread before you start making accusations about mistoferins intentions.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1061877/mpage_15/key_troll%252Croast/tm.htm#1072430

Why should we help slaverosebeauty?

_____________________________

(in reply to PoeticPrincess)

Post #: 23

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/15/2007 11:25:24 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

To all of you who have chimed in support.....Do you really think it is appropriate behavior to have your partner recieve a massage from someone that they have flirted with especially if this massage is not given in your presence?

If the woman I am with, thinks that this type of activity is ok....Then it is time for a little pow wow.....It was extremely poor judgement. In fact the guy was probably not a "friend" but just trying to get himself a piece of ass...He was doing what guys do. There are plenty of guys that will befriend a woman and wait till she is vulnerable and pounce....Similiar to the lazy lion that kills the lonely sickly wildebeast....It's what guys do...Not all, but many.

Maybe I'm dumb...But if my sub gets a massage from a guy and it turns into more than "just a massage" or let's say she cheats on me....I'm not pissed at the guy (unless he is a friend) ...He's unfortunately doing what many guys...Ummm do!.....I am pissed at the sub....Am I wrong?

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Post #: 24

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/15/2007 11:31:50 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Thanks domiguy. slaverosebeauty has put herself in a position that has negated every possible shred of credibility or perceived honesty or maturity. But of course, *I'm* the bad guy for noticing. I'm out of line for questioning and asking her to back up her words.Yeah, that makes sense.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 25

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/15/2007 11:49:07 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Yay mistoferin!
*climbs back under her rock to watch*

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 26

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 4:21:36 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

You aren't the baddie for pointing out the obvious. I too, wondered why she just didn't say "Hey bud, you have gone too far with this massage so I'm leaving".

SRB maybe you need to take a look as to why your friend felt he could do this? Is it possible that by your flirting you encouraged him?
It sounds like you need to differentiate between flirting & keeping your boundaries solidly set. Honestly I would imagine many guys would react to a flirty woman who lays down for a massage from them, especially when it is not a professional relationship.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 27

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 6:35:20 AM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

Using quick reply:

I'm with domiguy on this one. This is what many guys do.

I have no issues if you want to be a flirt or a slut, but at least own your responsibility for the part you play in it.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 28

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 7:13:42 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Uh oh, I'm beginning to see a trend. People mentioning personal responsibility. Looks like I'm gonna have to make more room in the bad guy corner.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to BeingChewsie)

Post #: 29

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 7:20:15 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

I am a flirt. I enjoy flirting, its kinda part of my job at work and its part of my personality, not to mention its part of what I do moonlighting {modeling.. you flirt with people in emails}, all very harmless.

MJ knows I flirt. He accepts it and He understands it, because at the end of the day or when I am NOT around others I am ALL about Him, and even when I am emailing others, I am STILL thinking about Him. If my flirting bothered Him, I know He would tell me. I don't cross that 'line' or disrespect MJ in what I do, I keep things very basic and very tame when I flirt with everyone, excluding MJ of course.

My problem, earlier this week a buddy of mine gave me a massage, with MJ's permission, He laid down a few 'ground rules' {no inapporprate touching, no 'fondeling,' keep my 'sensative places' safe - places on my back that make me drop to my knees, etc; normal stuff} and the guy who gave me the massage ended up crossing a few lines, I called MJ and told Him about it and He told me He was/is NOT mad at me, and the He doesn't want me alone with this person until further notice. Easy. Done.

My buddy is NOT in lifestyle, but, MJ and I ARE. I explained our 'relationship dynamic' {Mj and I don't keep secrets, we talk, He makes the 'final' decision, I defer to Him whenever possible or neccessary, how I basically 'belong' to MJ, we have a VERY trusting relationship, etc} as best as I could to my friend BEFORE I saw him, as well as MJ's rules; he said he understood and respected that; like I said, he didn't.

Enter the NEW problem, my buddy keeps hitting on me. I don't mean harmless flirting, I mean remarks that really bother me, to the point that I told him I would NOT talk to him until AFTER MJ an I talk, since he insists on crossing the line. My buddy's latest IM, "be honest i turn u on and u want me and it scares u". That was the most tame in the last few hours. I just kept ignorning him. The ones before that were along the lines of cyber-sex activities {yuck}, I just kept closing the screen and went invisible to him, and no response.

How have others dealt with this sorta stuff in the past as far as 'friends' crossing those lines? To the Top-Types, did you blame your bottom-type for those inapproprate advances and remarks that were made? What was the course of action taken? How did it work out?

MJ has NOT said any of what happened was my fault, after Monday night we have not talked about it; I won't bring it up, but, since the newest 'stuff' I will talk to Him tonight. I don't want to lose a friend, but, it looks like I may have too. My relationship with MJ is more important than a friendship with someone who crosses those lines.

rose, I'd say that your "buddy" really isn't one. You don't disrespect your friends, certainly not intentionally, and repeatedly.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)

Post #: 30

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 7:22:15 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

You might just want to tell him, should you ever speak to him, that you are incapable of desiring anyone who is incapable of spelling the word "you".

LOL

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Llyren)

Post #: 31

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 7:43:01 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

To all of you who have chimed in support.....Do you really think it is appropriate behavior to have your partner recieve a massage from someone that they have flirted with especially if this massage is not given in your presence?

I would not let another man touch my back unless my Daddy took me to his chiropractor (which he has considered doing because I have pain sometimes).... I do not allow other men to touch me, or even really flirt heavily with me. I do not flirt with other men. I do not feel comfortable doing that. Other people have different ways of being though.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 32

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 7:45:53 AM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

I'm all for people owning their choices. I'm all for people giving up responsibility for their choices too. I'm not an advocate though for people giving up their choices or refusing to exercise them and then bitching about the outcome. Which seems to be essentially what happened in this case.

I don't think you are a bad guy, sometimes people can't see the forest of their life through the trees(excuses) obscuring the view.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Uh oh, I'm beginning to see a trend. People mentioning personal responsibility. Looks like I'm gonna have to make more room in the bad guy corner.

< Message edited by BeingChewsie -- 6/16/2007 7:47:16 AM >

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 33

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 7:47:58 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I am a definite believer in personal responsibility..

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BeingChewsie)

Post #: 34

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 7:59:27 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I am a definite believer in personal responsibility..

If this continues we're going to need to rent a bigger space.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 35

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 8:02:06 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

To all of you who have chimed in support.....Do you really think it is appropriate behavior to have your partner recieve a massage from someone that they have flirted with especially if this massage is not given in your presence?

DG, I would say it's up to each person as to the appropriateness of that. As long as the partner knows all the pertinent info, is what I'd look at first.

If the woman I am with, thinks that this type of activity is ok....Then it is time for a little pow wow.....It was extremely poor judgement. In fact the guy was probably not a "friend" but just trying to get himself a piece of ass...He was doing what guys do. There are plenty of guys that will befriend a woman and wait till she is vulnerable and pounce....Similiar to the lazy lion that kills the lonely sickly wildebeast....It's what guys do...Not all, but many.

Very true.

Maybe I'm dumb...But if my sub gets a massage from a guy and it turns into more than "just a massage" or let's say she cheats on me....I'm not pissed at the guy (unless he is a friend) ...He's unfortunately doing what many guys...Ummm do!.....I am pissed at the sub....Am I wrong?

I would say half wrong . I would be pissed to the moon at both.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 36

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 8:02:45 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Yeah, but then who do you blame when you fuck up?

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 37

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 8:03:54 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Uh oh, I'm beginning to see a trend. People mentioning personal responsibility. Looks like I'm gonna have to make more room in the bad guy corner.

You won't be there alone, good lady. I wasn't aware of all this "outing" bullshit, so a tip of the hat to you, julia, DG, and others for speaking up. It ain't kosher.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 38

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 8:12:24 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Well Level, it seems that a lot of people have no problem with it, but they have not been on the receiving end of it ... yet. That is the problem with people that out others and think that they are doing something noble even, they are loose cannons and the next person they may righteously believe needs outing is their neighbor, me, or even you....and it isn't kosher.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 39

RE: Crossing a line..... - 6/16/2007 8:16:45 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68
Yeah, but then who do you blame when you fuck up?

I don't know about you Aileen, but I usually blame it on my dog. Or is it the neighbors dog??? I don't know, I get confused by the voices....Satan can be such a good ventriloquist!!!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 40

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