Mercnbeth
Posts: 11766
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quote:
I feel that if I understood this better I would be better able to put myself in the mind of my pet and better deal out these... Dan, This is a fools mission. Your time would be better spent getting to know yourself. Knowing others, knowing the process of impact play, knowing where the line is for a person between use and abuse is a moving target. When I posted this, there were 446,507 registered users with profiles on CM. Considering the multiple personality profiles that represents at least 19 separate individuals. If all of them were submissive and you spent an day with each of them talking, scening, and playing while discussing the process, assuming your wealth of knowledge would give you insight on the 20th person would be wrong. Acceptance of being wrong is a critical quality trait for a Dom. When a person has a problem with being wrong to the point they can't/don't say it on a matter of fact, you can be sure they lack the confidence and self assurance to dominate another individual. Same is true of those who pre-qualify the value of their opinion or experience by bullet pointing their resume or the latest article they've read on the subject. When it comes to people each is different and any assumption about a person you bring into a relationship based upon past experience has a good a chance of being wrong as it does being right. A relationship by its very nature has impossible to overcome obstacles of perspective especially in heterosexual partnerships. There is no way a female can know what it feels like to be kicked in the balls. There is no way a man can know what it's like to experience childbirth. Within the gender the experience and reaction to them is different. Most of our shared experiences are of the same nature. Some people laugh at "Hee Haw" others at "Seinfeld", others can do both. Trying to explain the humor of Seinfeld to someone who doesn't "get it" serves no purpose. A better use of time would be to find a common ground for the mutual humor entertainment. Complimentary "common ground" is essential to a relationship. Being prepared and gaining knowledge of yourself in the process is a better path to your goal or "understanding". quote:
I would be better able to put myself in the mind of my pet This is not possible. No way can you know how the sensation is being processed. There is no process, inclusive of getting in touch with your submissive side, that will accomplish this goal. Putting the same clover clamps on your nipples as you do hers may look the same, I guarantee you it does not feel the same. The sensation is not processed the same. Using the same example, some submissives can't take a wooden clothes pin on their nipples. Some yawn with anything short of a battery jumper cable. With others it varies during the month. Coming at a new submissive with jumper cables because you had a deep understanding with your last sub and she/he loved them, isn't a good idea; no matter how deeply you believe you've similarly gotten into your new submissive's mind. quote:
how does it make you feel good to be spanked/caned/whatever? What do you want to do with this information? What does it do to you to spank an individual? Based upon your statement; "...any kind of physical violence, even if it is desired by the recipient, is a punishment"; maybe you should should keep it only in the realm of punishment. There are plenty of people who share your position. To be with them there is no need to understand, you only need to be the complimentary part of there desire and set up your dynamic around that concept. Seeking "understanding" is akin to seeking "dogma". It is fine to use it as reference and frustrating as hell to use it as gospel or the one true way. Be confident in what you know, and even more confident and up front about what you don't know. Then go about living and meeting people. You'll find out the more you know the less you "understand". You'll also find out that you'll never know everything or enough. That's actually, IMO, proper mindset. It won't leave you frustrated and paranoid and you'll have much more fun. Which, after all, should be the real "understanding" of why anyone does or wants to do, anything. "It's FUN, it feels GOOD, I LIKE it!' When someone gives that response in answer to why they enjoy receiving CBT or a severe caning, why analyze it or ask them to explain it any further. If it compliments your desires as a Dom and your answer is the same regarding why you do it to your submissive or slave you are considering - you are well on your way to a great relationship. Good luck!
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