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RE: Question about age - 6/19/2007 10:55:08 AM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Oh, and aidan, glad to see you pick up quickly.  Nice to know you have some areas of interests for conversation.  So, where were you when Challenger exploded? 

Gods...I was probably a protein chain in a sandwich at that time, actually. *giggles*

And Tammy Jo's right, try being friends with people first. You'll run into a lot of the same problems of age being a stigma, yes, but if you just play it cool and casual people will accept you.

Like I said, it's about growing connections and becoming a part of the community.


_____________________________

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"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Question about age - 6/19/2007 11:06:19 AM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline 		This is for aiden as well as the Man in the Box.

aiden - wow, what a breath of fresh air, many gentlemen here could take a page from your book and benifit greatly, and I mean gentlemen "my age"!  Both your profile and what you have written here show a wonderful and refreshing command of English and the written word as well as a genuine maturity.  If  Man in the Box would sort of hook up you via emails and chats, I know he could benifit from some guidance from you.  Thank you for bringing a delightful perspective to this conversation and for presenting a profile with so much information, humor and promise!

Age - in reality I have experienced so much in life that some one who is 19 or 25 or even 30 just can't have experienced - simply not enough time has gone by in their lives.  However, I do believe real friendships can be forged despite of or maybe even because of the age differences.  I do not go to bars or clubs to drink, so thats not a problem.  At least two groups around here, other than TNG, allow 18 year olds in.  We have lots of good friends who come to our home for smaller gtherings and they are all very accepting, so that would not be a problem - if anything some would be downright jealous!

I have a lot of fun introducing someone to new experiences, and not just bdsm stuff.  Taking someone to their first opera, or symphony concert, or cruise can be so much fun.  I am going to use aiden again as an example here : he lists in his loves catagory - movies (I rent a minimum of 6 movies a week from Netflix and would love someone to go to a real movie with - Argent hates going to a movie),  travel - again I love to travel whether it may be a car trip a few 100 miles away or a flight across the country,  I cannot do martial arts, but I like watching the exhibitions.  Science Fiction - perhaps he has not yet read Niven and I can intorduce him to a "new" old sci-fi genius.  I am by profession, a writer as he aspires to be, I think we might have a few things in common.  Different perspectives - his giving me a fresh outlook and me giving him the benifit of my experience.  He lists museums,  musical theatre ( I am a theatre director and owned a production company) and I could go on.  The things we do not have in common - well even Argent and I have a few divergent interests and that keeps our lives interesting and when we can share those differences we all learn something.  The bdsm interests/likes/curiousities go along the same lines.  No one, no matter their age, will have everything in common. An open mindedness and willing ness to share and learn is all that is required - in both directions.

For me the drawback would be me developing a deep emotional attachment, knowing that with that age difference the relationship, realistically, has maybe 2 or 3 years - perhaps as long as 5 before he will want to leave and find a lady younger to have a marriage and family with.  But it would be a trade off for being his "teacher"  - giving him his introduction into the adult world both in Ds/bdsm and vanilla.

I have met men in their 40's and 50's not nearly as mature as I am willing to bet aiden is.

just my 2 cents (and I am old enough to remember when 2 cents was worth something!!! now THAT's scarey!)

MsOpal




< Message edited by Argentopal -- 6/19/2007 11:13:26 AM >

_____________________________

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... and i did.


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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Question about age - 6/19/2007 11:13:35 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I tend to agree with your high praise of aidan.  If there were more like him, the sub males in his age group might not get such a bad rap.  And, he's got a sense of humor to boot!

(in reply to Argentopal)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Question about age - 6/19/2007 12:35:11 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I tend to agree with your high praise of aidan. If there were more like him, the sub males in his age group might not get such a bad rap. And, he's got a sense of humor to boot!


I'll add my "aidan rocks" to the chorus.

And I'll add that if he lived in our community we'd be inviting him over to our gaming group if not something more.

_____________________________

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Question about age - 6/19/2007 1:35:37 PM   
ManInTheBox


Posts: 113
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you everyone for your words of support and advice. And yes, I purposely avoided the term older women because I figured some people wouldn't like that :p I will keep looking though :)

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Question about age - 6/19/2007 2:11:35 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Shoot.  Too late for the edit button.
 
I forgot to mention.  Welcome to the boards.

(in reply to ManInTheBox)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Question about age - 6/19/2007 2:23:00 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I do not train/play with anyone younger then my kids. I just can't do it.

40 to 55 years old works very well for me.



Diane

< Message edited by DianeB269 -- 6/19/2007 2:29:22 PM >

(in reply to ManInTheBox)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Question about age - 6/19/2007 8:20:08 PM   
zavalfuin


Posts: 15
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		I am older than -j. He's also from a different culture than I, different background, different education, etc. etc. age is just one aspect that we could have focused on as an advantage OR a disadvantage as we started our relation. I think it depends on the person. Me--I love difference, I love dichotomy.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Question about age - 1/21/2008 12:58:09 PM   
Seekingwittysub


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/21/2008
Status: offline 		The main problem is that you are more the age of many of the Dommes/Femdommes sons. Psychologically, they are not going to wish to play with someone their sons age. If you meet  a woman who has no older sons, you may do far better. If you meet a successful woman, what on earth would she want with a young guy who is not sophisticated in the ways of the world? People in their 40s/50s/60s, talk about where they have traveled, fine dining spots, etc.etc.....you are on two different planets. Many Femdommes/Dommes wish to have social interaction with their submissive....at your age, unless you have a trust fund, you are not able to compete with older submissive men, who are on the same flight as some of the sucessful female Dommes.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Question about age - 1/21/2008 1:37:03 PM   
LaMistressa


Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		My submissive is 20 years younger than me, and he is younger than what I had as my age preferences on my profile here. The way he got me to take note of him was by attending a class I was teaching for a local community organization. I would agree with Tammy Jo that getting involved in your local community is a way for people to get to know you better, vs. just noticing your age. 

(in reply to ManInTheBox)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Question about age - 1/21/2008 1:39:22 PM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan
.

Another aspect is just that people always look down on folks our age, and in this generation probably not without good reason. Most of us are stupid, whiney, obnoxious, immature, borderline narcisstic and emotionally void. Sure, the only difference between us and most older folks is that they're better at hiding these things, but a fair amount do eventually grow out of it, and they remember just as well what it's like to be young.




LMAO but the truly sad thing is it's true and sometimes at 22 watching teh people on this campus makes me feel old lol.

though i understand where the op is coming from. while i've done pretty good by networking in r/t and not necessarily thinking to enter into a dynamic with someone, the 'age' issue does get pretty old since youth does not necessarily equate immaturity or even naivity or lack of experience (granted that experience has to be limited by age), and while i realize that's not what a lot of people are meaning to imply on boards or in emails there does seem to be a lot well if you were only ten years older exchanges (like i''m supposed to be able to do anything about that? and if this the mentality that's gonna be tossed around how are any of us going to get experience?). maybe someone needs to start a younger members forum? except that i can already hear people complaining lol.


< Message edited by fluffyswitch -- 1/21/2008 1:44:17 PM >

(in reply to aidan)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Question about age - 1/21/2008 5:26:46 PM   
DominaJayde


Posts: 110
Joined: 12/28/2007
From: Tasmania, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ManInTheBox

I'm not trying to be rude or anything but it seems as though many people are bothered by having a young subbie. I'm 18 and it seems as though everyone just disregards me. I am aware that some woman have kids my age and that is understandable. Is there anyone here that wouldn't mind a young subbie though?


I hope that your search is proving a little more fruitful since you first posted this question, personally I don't particularly care about age, it's all about whether you can engage my mind, if we can have a decent conversation about almost anything, age is not a factor.

DJ


(in reply to ManInTheBox)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Question about age - 1/22/2008 10:12:01 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

For me the age is more about common interests.  I don't have much in common with an 18 year old.  Coupled with that is the fact I can't even go have a drink with an 18 year old.  Aside from that, though, if the person is mature and willing I don't have a problem with the age factor per se.  I have just found, based on trying them, that I get along better and have more lasting relationships with those closer to around my own age.

Good luck, though.  I am sure you will find someone eventually.

Agreed.  I struggle enough with guys who are 10 years my junior, let alone almost 20!  And if one more boy emails me his myspace or facebook page as his "reference", I'll scream.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Question about age - 1/23/2008 7:45:21 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		This is just my thoughts on it and why I personally don't consider someone in their teens for the lifestyle:
 
First.. you just hit puberty about 6 years ago.  You are entering the world where both vanilla and kink live side by side (the kink side may be hidden ..but it is there).  When people  find this, they usually go whole hog or obsessed at best. Teens are especially susceptible.  I'd refuse a teen on the basis that they need to learn the basics of the majority of people they are going to run into.  They need to learn to read people and know enough life lessons to interact with people outside the kink world.  Chances are is that the vanilla world is where you will earn your living and raise your family. And if one doesn't know themselves well enough, they can get emotionally fucked up.  Youthful curiosity and sex drive can be a dangerous thing.  I prefer to just stay away from it. 
 
Of course, all this "sage" advice will fall on deaf ears.  One can say do we REALLY ever know ourselves?  Maybe not, but you have to know the obvious about yourself that others see, that you might not, to keep you from being a victim.  You have to take your lumps.  No one just hands you maturity because you turned a "legal" age.  Take your time growing up :) 

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 1/23/2008 7:59:33 AM >

_____________________________

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I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Question about age - 1/23/2008 9:55:55 AM   
ItalianSMistress


Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline 		I know personally, I am much more likely to reply to someone that is 55 than 25.  I am almost 32, but I find that most of the slaves, esp the males, under 25, tend to thing, KINKY SEX.  And dont get Me wrong, I have chatted with a few and even took on a couple that were younger, but that does not happen too often.  In fact, the two best long term slaves I have ever had, were both over 12 years older than Me.  The only thing that can attract Me to any slave is personality, the way they approach Me, and hopefully their mind.  So, if a younger slave can do that, I will at least answer the message, but the ones that can, are few and far between.  I know that is not what you want to hear, but its honest!

_____________________________

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"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you."


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(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Question about age - 1/23/2008 11:38:09 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		To the op. Change your profile to say that you seek an older woman because you think that they are better lovers. Tell them that you will shower them with lots of gifts. Better yet just offer them your credit card. Tell them that you wish to call them your old lady. That really turns them on. A better ideal is to stop in a rest home and see if one of them will let you give them a sponge bath.  

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Question about age - 1/23/2008 11:46:57 AM   
EvilKitty


Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline 		I've only collared 3 subs; 1 was with me 11 years, 1 still with me after 12, & a 20yr. old who I let go after 1 1/2 yrs. The 20yr. old was a delightful boy, but had not matured enough to be collared. I should have guessed, because he's still being supported by his parents. If I ever took someone of this age group again, he would have to evince more maturity. Otherwise, casual play would be fine; collaring would have to wait till he "grew up" a bit.
Lady Cat

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Question about age - 1/23/2008 12:50:05 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		 
I give up.

_____________________________





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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Question about age - 1/23/2008 1:11:11 PM   
DommeKimberly


Posts: 73
Status: offline 		I think it might be that people don't think you have had enough time to really find your place or maybe that you aren't serious enough.  We all remember being 18 and how flighty some were.  I think you will find yours soon enough. Just be patience.

I myself won't get involved with anyone 15 years my senior.  I just think that if you are old enough to be my parent then it is not ok.  Just my opinion not a fact.

< Message edited by DommeKimberly -- 1/23/2008 1:14:50 PM >

(in reply to ManInTheBox)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Question about age - 1/23/2008 3:19:59 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		I think an older Domme and younger sub can have a very interesting D/s dynamic: more maternal than sexual.

I like to mentor, guide and dominate/top young men (and women).  But I don't jump their bones.  For various reasons already covered.

Most of us have had non-sexual D/s partners (friends) as well as sexual.  What difference does age make it its a non-sexual relationship?   I have had very old slaves and very young ones.  They were not life partner material, but they served well.

I disagree that the kinky sex drive of young men under 25 is higher than in a pre-menopausal women over 35.   Both Domme and sub can solve their raging hormones by have "age-appropriate" sex partners quite separate from the D/s relationship

Just an opinion - it has worked for me. 

I don't think age is a giant barrier at all in real life.  But it probably is, if you only seek Mistresses online because women have lots of choice and - sight unseen - a sub around your own age seems a choice more likely to work long term.

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 1/23/2008 3:27:44 PM >

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(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 40
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