Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Am I just kidding myself?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Am I just kidding myself? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Am I just kidding myself? - 6/19/2007 7:23:25 PM   
Neeka


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/10/2007
Status: offline 		Hi, I am in an online relationship with my Master. He is my first Master and is possibly the most wonderful man I have ever met(?).
He seems to know what I need before I know it. He takes my emotions good and bad...and turns them into something beautiful.
We have always been honest with each other. Well, as much as realistically online can be, and I finally admitted to myself a few short weeks ago that I have fallen head over heels in love with him.
He is married in the real, and I realise that our relationship most likely will never cross into the real and Im learning to accept that as difficult as it is.
My problem is I am very very jealous of his other on line pet. I know her very well, and as a person I about love her to death and when we all play together, while I tend to hang back a little bit, my Maser makes it a very enjoyable expeiriance for me. But this jealousy I have is just getting worse. If I think they are together...or know they will be...I feel literally sick to my stomach.
Have any of you been through this?
Is it possible to overcome jealousy in a D/s relationship?
Am I just kidding myself and my beloved Master?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/19/2007 7:43:01 PM   
annare


Posts: 37
Joined: 5/5/2007
Status: offline 		Neeka,

Before addressing your other concerns my first question is... do you eventually want a real life 24/7 relationship?

(in reply to Neeka)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/19/2007 7:43:49 PM   
RedheadGirlNY


Posts: 59
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline 		You've fallen "in love" with a married man who you'll likely never meet.  He "plays" with others and you're "jealous."
 
I won't go down the married-and-cheating road.  You know what you're doing, you're an adult.  Whether his wife is aware or not, he's married.  So, "playing" together online, it's the best you're going to get?  Have you considered that you maybe are cheating yourself? 
 
Unless, of course, you're also married or this is a crock of horse-hooey.
 
It seems to me that most of the time, OPs ~~know~~ the answer before they ask the question.  Certainly, given the information that has been presented, I have to assume that is true here, since the OP seems to know the difference between "the real" and "pixels." 
 
So, are you looking for pity or validation? 
 
Inquiring mind, unbendable ethics, wicked wit, no apologies. 
 
Red

_____________________________

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

(in reply to Neeka)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/19/2007 8:16:16 PM   
Neeka


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/10/2007
Status: offline 		Red,

Ive read your reply over about 5 times now.....

Pity or validation....I dont know...both?

Or maybe to just be able to say the words outloud to a group of people who would at least understand some aspects of our relationship.

no...Im not married...yes i do want something 24/7 but being a single mother of a small child in a small isolated town...not alot of options.

and your right...we usually know the answers before we ask the questions or we better be damn prepared to get an answer.

I thank you for your candor....I was hoping that my 'awakening' as a submissive would have been more positive than this...I find I am only more confused in who I am....and I shall stop now before I convince you all that I am a babbling fool.
as an aside...what is an OP?

thankyou

(in reply to RedheadGirlNY)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/19/2007 8:24:03 PM   
RedheadGirlNY


Posts: 59
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline 		Neeka,
 
"OP" is "original poster" - the person posing the question.
 
Believe it or not, I'm actually the Queen of Silver Linings.  You've awakened, which means you're not dead.  As the solo parent of a child, I understand the challenges and frustrations.  Having survived "newbie frenzy" (that awakening and WOOHOO!!! thang), I can promise you that with time and patience, you can choose to learn from the experience and move on.
 
The time and patience part sometimes sucks large.  But it's worth it. 
 
Red (speaking only for myself, of course)

_____________________________

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

(in reply to Neeka)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/19/2007 8:26:02 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		Why do you want to put yourself through this ?

quote:

Neeka:
My problem is I am very very jealous of his other on line pet.


You're jealous of his online pet?  But you are not jealous that every night he goes to bed with another woman, his wife?
You're jealous of another online persona that he will never meet in RL either ?

If the only problem you see in this is another online pet, I would say you should count yourself  lucky, cuz I see lots of problems.  

                                 mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to RedheadGirlNY)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/19/2007 9:32:22 PM   
annare


Posts: 37
Joined: 5/5/2007
Status: offline 		Neeka,

As i see it, the question you need to ask yourself is how badly you want a real life 24/7 relationship. Having a child can complicate matters but not make them impossible. Having a real relationship with this Man is an impossibility. If you are only looking for a continued online affair then you will either have to find a way to be okay with the current situation or move on to another Dominant looking for an online only realtionship... believe me when i say there are pleanty of Them out there.

However, if you are looking to move to the real... Noone can tell you what to do. Experience has taught me that women are going to do as they please regardless of good advice from others. But, i would be remiss if i didn't say how important it is to cut your losses now before you fall more deeply for this Man. i know from personal experience the amount of pain that can be suffered from the shit end of a one-sided relationship. Remember that He has a wife He goes to bed with at night and as far as you know, countless other slave girls just like you out in the cyber world hanging on His every Dominant pixel. Just remember that online is just that, if you cannot detach your emotions, remember that in all liklihood, it's best to just move on to another relationship.

Ultimately, as a unowned submissive/slave, remember that you have a responsibility to take care of yourself until you find One that will take care of you. Doing emotional damage to yourself for an emotionally unavailable Man... just isn't worth it.

good luck,
annare

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/19/2007 9:37:52 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		MBN- remember he doesn't LOVE his wife who he stays with, but he feels REAL emotion for his pet.

While I can sympathize with your plight Neeka- it truly is a case of you completely putting yourself in this position and not really having any room to stand on or complain about.  Deal with it or choose to get out.

And next time don't get so in lust- and make sure it's what really will work for you before making a commitment.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to annare)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/20/2007 12:46:24 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		" in the real" ...powerful words..."in the real"....honest words....."in the real"......unflinching words......."in the real".....your words.



so are you kidding yourself?

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/20/2007 3:22:23 AM   
Sinimint


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/25/2007
Status: offline 		He's married - end of story.  I feel for his wife, he sounds like a man going online to get his rocks off with lil slave girls, and she probably has no idea.  I have been there, and now I'm divorced.  Although I'm happy now (oh yes definately), all those years ago when I found out about his "pets" online, it cut me to the core, it broke my heart and nearly killed me.  And it wasn't just online, it was an affair in real life to with a young lil subbie with stars in her eyes.

Being honest here - dont do this to yourself.  I was that other woman, the married woman with a baby - it hurts, really hurts.  Can you do that to another woman?

Sorry if I've upset you, but imagine how his wife would feel.....

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/20/2007 6:04:35 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		He's not a wonderful man.  He is an icky liar.  Does anyone else have visions of him playing on the computer....until his wife walks into the room.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Sinimint)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/20/2007 6:53:23 AM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Yes  (you are just kidding yourself)

:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/20/2007 7:28:11 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		 I think if you ever want a r/l relationship you have to cut your losses with this guy.  It will be hard because you say you love him.  You have to find a Master who wants only you because you are jealous of another girl he has online just like you.  I think you should take a good look at this relationship and figure out what you really get from it.  From you post it does not seem like that much. 

Matt's littleone

(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/20/2007 7:35:49 AM   
drawntothedark


Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

He's not a wonderful man.  He is an icky liar.  Does anyone else have visions of him playing on the computer....until his wife walks into the room.


I do I do :)

How can a relationship be built on lies? He is cheating on his wife but yet you can't deal with his on line pet?

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/20/2007 7:53:09 AM   
Viciousbabe


Posts: 61
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		In short, yes you are.

It sounds like perhaps there are things missing in your life and so you attribute emotions to someone with whom you may or may not have them. People who are good manipulators and people readers will easily be able to tell how you are feeling/what you want etc etc.

Even in online relationships, one can believe they have feelings or emotions for another. With his being married, it is unlikely that you will get the chance to interact with him in real life and unortunately, until you spend lots of time with a person in real life, you don't know how you are going to feel towards them.

Like many other people who responded, I am a lil concerned that you are not jealous of his wife, rather than the other online girl. And truly, how do you think you'd feel in her situation??

(in reply to Neeka)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/20/2007 8:04:48 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		Yep...you are...(kidding yourself that is)

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to Neeka)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/20/2007 8:34:29 AM   
dragone


Posts: 215
Joined: 5/29/2007
Status: offline 		This IS online ? Then, it is shit, nothing; you can write anything, be anyone, do anything, with no accountability, no danger of real encounters or responsibilty whatsoever. Online is a swamp of liars, cheats, exploiters of every shape, size, fashion.

Are you so hungry for a relationship that you've given yourself to this ...fantasy? You are really just as screwed in the head as this so-called master of your imagination. You've fallen in love with your own imaginative creation, of what you idealize as your perfect true love relationship. The same thing as falling in love with an on screen hollywood star. It is all in your brain?

Why are you posting this? It's a bullshit, go nowhere, do nothing situation. There are plenty of real life goings-on to take up your time, and energies, but you must get wet on this fabrication of yours, and enjoy it emensely.

Get a life...a real life. Speaking of which, I must get on with mine.

Ask your master (ahem) to beat you with a whip, dipped in oil, studded with barbs, all over your body, your tits, nipples, pussy, stomach, ass, thighs, with all his power, letting the barbs bite into your flesh, dragging and pulling the skin apart, over and over again, let the lash crash against your flesh.  You can replie, ohhh, ahhh, I beg you stop, I can't take more, ohhh, ahhhh.

Yeah right.


(in reply to Neeka)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/20/2007 8:39:41 AM   
dragone


Posts: 215
Joined: 5/29/2007
Status: offline 		I like your sign off quote.....don't let one cloud obliterate the entire sky.....that alone should be a thread all to it self. and, let me add....."the clouded mind sees nothing."

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/20/2007 11:01:22 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Neeka

no...Im not married...yes i do want something 24/7 but being a single mother of a small child in a small isolated town...not alot of options.



This is untrue but even more so if you tie your heart and mind up in some man you will never meet nevermind belong to in the flesh.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to Neeka)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Am I just kidding myself? - 6/20/2007 11:05:31 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

He's not a wonderful man.  He is an icky liar.  Does anyone else have visions of him playing on the computer....until his wife walks into the room.


Absolutely..shrinking the screen, sneaking peeks at the screen, like a little boy hiding his dad's playboys. That's not Mastery. It's Masterbation.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Am I just kidding myself? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094