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Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 6:40:23 AM   
alittlebent


Posts: 44
Joined: 10/9/2006
Status: offline 		Ladies,

i am curious on Your feelings about the names people refer to you as. Do you make any distinctions between a Domina, Domme, or Mistress. Is one anymore dominant than the other?

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 7:09:48 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I am a dominant in terms of Ds identity. I also happen to be female but I am actually a bit offended by the desire to use diminutive suffixes to show I'm female -- dom is just fine thank you very much.

I am only "Mistress" to someone who has earned the right to be my slave (and I the right to be his/her owner).

To everyone else I'm TammyJo.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to alittlebent)
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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 7:15:09 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I don't mind the terms Domina or Domme, I just happened across Domme earlier so I tend to use it more. I use it only as a device to allude to female Dominants rather than male Dominants, it doesn't worry Me to use it that way. If I am dealing with a sub in person he is to call Me Ma'am ... only if I move into a much more personal relationship with him would he call Me Mistress. None is any more dominant than the other in level ... it is more about level of relationship.

Maam Jay

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 7:43:20 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		I don't make any distinction between them as words or think anyone is "more" dominant than the other.  Dom, domme, domina, mistress, master, goddess, lady...whatever...it's just a title. 

If someone identifies as a dominant, then that's all I need to know.  The title is often self appointed or personal preference or in some cases given as part of a ritual and earned (such as in a leather community).

But I do not think the title itself lends to anyone being more skilled, knowledgable, dominant, etc.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to alittlebent)
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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 7:51:03 AM   
queencaliph


Posts: 131
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline 		I don't like being called a Domina.  I don't mind being called Mistress or Domme.  I like my subs/slaves to call me "Ma'am" or "My Queen."  I like to refer to myself as a Dominant Woman.  None of these terms are any more dominant than the other.  Although for some reason the term "Dominatrix" brings up images of more dominant, evil, sadistic type Dommes in my own mind. (yes I know its a false image) 

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"awwww hell......the Queen!"

(in reply to alittlebent)
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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 8:02:56 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		The correct term is Domina, Domme is a bastardization of Dom and is not proper--Mistress is what a Domina is and should be to Her submissives, slaves--there is no difference IMHO as to levels or degrees, I am Domina, I am referred to as Mistress or Maam.

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 8:11:01 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

The correct term is Domina, Domme is a bastardization of Dom and is not proper--Mistress is what a Domina is and should be to Her submissives, slaves--there is no difference IMHO as to levels or degrees, I am Domina, I am referred to as Mistress or Maam.


Being referred to as a "Domme"...if pronounced correctly is just fine with me...when I hear the word "dommay" or "dommie"  I cringe in the way that some do with the word "subbie".  I prefer to be called Mistress over Ma'am, because I'm just not that OLD yet!!!


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Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 8:16:22 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		ohhhh yes...I completely agree.  I don't care if I am referred to as a Domme if it is pronounced like Dom.  But do not do the dommay or even worse, dommie.  It makes me think I should be running around in a school girl outfit, pigtails with a lollypop and a whip.  "The dommie's gonna getttt youuuuu" *shudder*

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to yourMissTress)
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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 8:24:35 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		OMG Tress!!! Where have you been???? I missed you!

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 8:29:27 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I've not been far...just busy with life in general.  I'm glad to have some time on my hands at the moment, though it's only a short moment.  Good to see you are back and posting!

I have missed so many people here, and the banter as well as the drama.


_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 9:28:54 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alittlebent

Ladies,

i am curious on Your feelings about the names people refer to you as. Do you make any distinctions between a Domina, Domme, or Mistress. Is one anymore dominant than the other?




There really are no distinctions between the terms dominant, domme or domina even though many people tend to apply variations due to the fact that they may prefer one term over another. The only difference is the spelling & how it sounds to the ear. 

As for Mistress/Master the general consensus among most practitioners is that only your personal sub/slave should refer to you as such. It is also common practice for an individual to adopt either of these terms once they have come to a place in their life where they currently have someone in service or they have had someone in service. Many tend to feel that using either of these terms without ever having any experience in ownership to be premature or even presumptuous.

As for someone claiming one title credits them to be more dominant than another.. that is not fact... it is purely ego.


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MstrssPassion


(in reply to alittlebent)
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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 9:46:42 AM   
MistressRage


Posts: 138
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Upstate New York
Status: offline 		The word Mistress is indicative of a female slave owner therefore I like my slaves to call me that in recognition of their position.

The term Dominatrix is just a feminization of the word Dominant. It's the same as how a male editor would be called an editor but a female editor would be referred to as an Editrix. I enjoy the decidedly feminine connotation in addition to the word simply sounding strong so I frequently use the term Dominatrix.

The same goes with FemDom-meaning simply, Female Dominant. I usually use this word less frequently than Dominatrix because it sounds softer. I think it's the "femme" sound in it that softens it up so much.

Domme is pronounced wrong very often-- and I don't like the dommie pronunciation especially--sounds too close to dummy for me. Also, it sounds very soft.

I think Domina came from another language(much like Maitresse, Herrin, Ama etc) so it means the same thing as FemDom or Dominatrix to me. I like the sound of it as it sounds fairly strong, not as soft as FemDom but not as strong as Dominatrix. I don't personally use this term much as it is often mispronounced by subs/slaves and I have never felt a real affinity for it.

To answer your question about one being more dominant than the next--pish tosh. I have seen brutal FemDoms and sensuous Dominatrixes(or Dominatrice as you may have seen it used in the plural).


But if a cactus is a cactus and two cactuses are cactii maybe Dominatrix should be Dominatrix and 2 Dominatrixes should Dominatrii LOL.

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~outRAGEous~

I don't always return to a thread. It's usually best to message your replies directly to me.

(in reply to alittlebent)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 10:00:08 AM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: queencaliph

I don't like being called a Domina.  I don't mind being called Mistress or Domme.  I like my subs/slaves to call me "Ma'am" or "My Queen."  I like to refer to myself as a Dominant Woman.  None of these terms are any more dominant than the other.  Although for some reason the term "Dominatrix" brings up images of more dominant, evil, sadistic type Dommes in my own mind. (yes I know its a false image) 


I enjoy my queen by my slaves. As a title I prefer Goddess

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(in reply to queencaliph)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 10:12:27 AM   
LadyCharly


Posts: 19
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		As I began to start my journey as a dominant, I first acknowleged myself as a Top. Top - One who wishes to play with very little responsibility. After some time, I identified as a Domme (that's pronounced Dom not dommie!) Domme - One who wishes to take on more responsibility without enslaving. After a few years on my journey, I came to realize that I was a Mistress within every fiber of my body. Mistress - One who wishes to take on full responsibility for other human beings which you enslave. But alas online has brought forth many different meanings and everyone will debate them. Only I'm one who looks up the definitions of words in Webster's Dictionary and believe nothing that is not listed there as part of definition. Perhaps, there would be less confusion if EVERYONE did the same thing!
Oh how I wished people would stop being confusing by making up their own definitions...

http://www.m-w.com  This is the link to Webster's... Be my guest in looking up the correct definitions. *wink*

(in reply to MistressRage)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 11:00:29 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

Perhaps, there would be less confusion if EVERYONE did the same thing!


Really?
Where's the fun in that?

So ok, we are all supposed to do the same thing... who determines what the proper thing is that we should do? How do we determine who the who's are that are to be the authority on what the proper thing it is that we should be doing? What if we do come up with the proper authorities & they tell us we are all ordered to be vanilla?

Think about it...

I'm an individual & as an individual I am quite alright with having a conversation with another individual or a group of individuals so that I can effectively express/explain who I am, what I think & why I think what I think so that they can better understand me, my thoughts, my opinions & my philosophies. In turn I'm quite happy to listen to others do the same.... It's called communication, that wonderful concept which allows people the ability to clear the air so that there is no confusion. Beats the hell out of the alternative suggested.......... conformity. <shudders>

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 6/22/2007 11:02:24 AM >

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MstrssPassion


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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 11:19:42 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

believe nothing that is not listed there as part of definition


The only problem I have with this is the fact that Webster does not always have definitions as used in a kink sense.  For example, watersports is not even in the dictionary.  Neither is domme. 

In a kink sense, there are every day terms that are used differetly.  For example, we discuss vanilla activities.  Webster defines vanilla as:

Main Entry: 1va·nil·la
Pronunciation: v&-'ni-l&, -'ne-
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin, from Spanish vainilla vanilla (plant and fruit), diminutive of vaina sheath, from Latin vagina sheath, vagina
1 a : VANILLA BEAN b : a commercially important extract of the vanilla bean that is used especially as a flavoring
2 : any of a genus (Vanilla) of tropical American climbing epiphytic orchids

Nowhere in that definition would it tell anyone what we mean when discussing vanillas.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 11:22:33 AM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
quote:

2 : any of a genus (Vanilla) of tropical American climbing epiphytic orchids


This is the definition I always mean when I refer to someone as vanilla.


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<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 11:25:21 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		 yes, dear ;)

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 11:32:52 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		All i know is that Babe isnt acceptable and ended up in me doing one very long essay

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 12:38:05 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		dont
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

All i know is that Babe isnt acceptable and ended up in me doing one very long essay


You got off lucky, in My home, you would have been whipped.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 20
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