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Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/24/2007 9:52:35 PM   
LadyPaige


Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I was reading some posts and it made me wonder.  For those of you who, like me, have not come out of the BDSM closet to our families, what precautions have you taken?

1.  I do post my pic - if my kids see it, then perhaps it's time to talk about it.
2.  I told my daughter-in-law that if something happens to me, that I want HER to be the one to go through my closet.
3.  I use an alias so that if someone mentions my name, they won't give me a thought.

Paige
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/24/2007 9:59:55 PM   
HutchGarahl


Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		My children know of my lifestyle...to me they are the only ones who need to know. My sister has an idea, but she's not sure. And she only has an idea cause she's came in and seen a few conversations on the computer between myself and a slave and he reffered to me as Mistress. She simply said Mistress?? and left it at that. My parents and brother have no idea. Do I hide myself? No...but I don't blurt to the world either.

(in reply to LadyPaige)
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RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/24/2007 10:23:17 PM   
LadyPaige


Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		While my kids were growing up I was a very vanilla mother.  I was a den mother and I volunteered to help in their class rooms and at the local church.  I managed to raise them to be much more uptight than I EVER was.  I don't think they're ready to find out that mom/grandma is freaky.  Maybe someday when they've loosened up a bit, but not now.  I'm certain they wouldn't stop talking to me, but they'd have a hard time looking me in the eye.

(in reply to HutchGarahl)
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RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/24/2007 10:35:49 PM   
HutchGarahl


Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		Same here. Kept it out of sight of the little ones. Did the scout thing, PTA meetings and all that jazz. My personal life was only played on the weekends. I was fortunate enough that mom lived 5 blocks away and took the kids on the weekends. They only found out about my life 2 years ago. But at that age, I figured they was old enough to know. My oldest and her fiance has only started exploring their new life together in the past year.

(in reply to LadyPaige)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 1:21:08 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		I don't use my real name, I don't post my picture.  And I keep a padlock on the toy chest.

(in reply to HutchGarahl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 3:22:11 AM   
desiresluv


Posts: 41
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline 		My family does not know...although...I think they have some idea that I am a bit of a kink...lol.  I do not flaunt my submissiveness...only to the One I am serving.  I would prefer to be able to tell the world...but..I don't think they are ready for Us!! ~smiles~

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 5:05:32 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Hub knows - Sister knows- Best Friends know.

I do not post a pic because I simply do not want too.
I like the boards -  I email friends,  that's about it so I don't think what I look like is anyone's business
Now if I do happen to start corrasponding with some one new and they'd like a picture I send one.

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to desiresluv)
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RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 5:15:31 AM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		My older brother is the only family member that knows.  The rest of my friends and family don't know.  They know that I'm always into trying out "new" things in life, and it probably wouldn't surprise them to learn about my kink.  Except they would probably be surprised I'm not a dominant.  I don't need to hide anything other than the reason I gave for my relocation.  Anyone I meet around here Mistress already knows, so I need only keep things from Her UM's. 

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RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 5:16:11 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I just simply do not feel the need to share my inner self with everyone. Being a single mom of teens. I get little private anything really. So this is something I get to keep my own little secret. Though oldest one does know of this site, she's had read some of the forums over my shoulder.... and laughed her ass off.  She still isn't sure what side of the fence I'm actually on.  If on either side at all. So it's all good.

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Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 5:57:54 AM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		My son is only 3 years old, so at this point keeping it from him is a non issue. Our issue is that we live with my wife's parents so play is very limited at home, and when we go to the socials "we are going to a friend's house" we give them the name of the town we are going to be in, but thats about all.

the real bummer is that her parents and my parents argue over who gets to keep our little boy. poor us

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 6:39:15 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		My UMs are adults and know. My best friend knows. I don't see any reason for anyone else to know. My mother would probably have a heart attack if she knew. My dad would be disgusted and start calling me a slut again, and he wouldn't mean it in a positive way at all. Better for the rest of my family to remain in the dark.

(in reply to LadyPaige)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 6:50:45 AM   
freyjasdottir


Posts: 253
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: PA
Status: offline 		my roommates know, my co-workers at one job know, well those over the age of 21 that I work with all the time but that is because two of them are related to me and all of my cousins are a bit on the freaky side and two others know my Lord from school.  Oh and my best guy friend knows too but he's on the site too so not sure if that counts.  My UM's are way too young to have any idea and as my oldest understands the basics of sex is way grossed out with the idea that mom has alone time with the guy who comes over sometimes its not something I'm too worried about her discovering anytime soon.

(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 6:53:26 AM   
loveVSneed


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/25/2007
Status: offline 		My mom knows- had to tell her something when I went to another country wth a guy I had met a month prior, and I', not to sure shes happy knowing- my brother and his ex know, but his ex is obviously a closet Domme and sadistic even without being one :P the brother just found it funny.
As for the rest, I am atheist and they are all catholic, so not going to give them anything else to look weird at me for. Not to mention my father has a shotgun and a brother with a ugly dog he says he will set on any black guy who dates me...so he will never be allowed to know what I really like...It would turn out bad im sure


(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 8:15:33 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPaige
I was reading some posts and it made me wonder.  For those of you who, like me, have not come out of the BDSM closet to our families, what precautions have you taken?


My mother, my sister and a decent number of my friends know {including those I model with}, yet, the majority of the people in my life co-workers and the rest of my family are oblivious, I work my ass off to keep it that way.
 
On myspace I have 'vanilla' page wher I have pics of my son, my real {gasp} name, its marked as 'private,' the pics on there are ones that I have taken and are NOT my modeling or lifestyle pics. I will have another page up on myspace by the end of the week with NO connection to that one that will be for hte modeling I am doing.   I keep my mouth shut at most family events when peopel make comments about my bruises {I am kinda a klutz, so thats what everyone atributes my bruises on  my legs too}. Its not that hard, I just remember who's company I am in and what they know and are able to handle.
 
I have different email accounts for work/family/friends who don't know. I still email people like MJ from my private account, I'm just carefull that when I give that account to them that they remember, I MAY and probably will open any email there at work, so if its not work or vanilla safe, they need to mark it in the subject line "NVS" [not vanilla safe] or "NWPS" [not work place safe], then I won't open those until the evening.
 
I keep my toys and books in a suitecase, locked, and only I have the keys that I carry with me almost all the time.
 
I use passwords on my comp and I am very carefull as to how I label things on my comp so when a family member has to use my comp for whatever reason, they don't find or see anything incriminating.
 
Simple little things, its not a big deal.    

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to LadyPaige)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 8:42:10 AM   
chrisy


Posts: 34
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline 		i'm glad this topic is here. it is one of the major issues i am having with the life. i want to be open about it. i kept it very quiet for about two years. i'm a very private person anyway.

but recently i just have the urge to be open about it because i feel that keeping it a secret is akin to admitting it is something not right or immoral. i told a few of my friends and they are getting used to it. they are open minded and ask a lot of questions but some things they are disgusted by. i get made fun of quite a bit now for it! they will adjust and i feel i do not need to get into details with them, just basics.

my mom is very open minded as well and i know she knows "something" is up. she knew was going to a new "club" and one time she actually saw a welt on my side. she just said, "i hope you are not getting hurt." that is her main concern and i can't blame her. i cannot really rationalize to her or anyone really that being whipped is ok. that is one major task i am trying to figure out how to overcome.

second is at work. does anyone find they can wear collars or any fetish wear at work? i want to as i do feel it's part of me. i am trying to find some items that i can wear that are discreet yet part of the life. i don't have any close friends in the life and i doubt i will.

i really just want to be able to be "out there" without all the questions. any advice or tips?
 
 

< Message edited by chrisy -- 6/25/2007 9:06:06 AM >

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Vegan Erotica





(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 8:43:54 AM   
RaynaSub


Posts: 185
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

I don't use my real name, I don't post my picture.  And I keep a padlock on the toy chest.


Simple, short and to the point.
I value my privacy, especially online.

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 8:46:52 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		true, that's the same way i feel.  Both of my sons 'know' of this site, but that is about it and since i do not discuss nor do i wave it around like a red badge of courage, they do not ask too many questions.  If they did i would answer them as honestly as i could without screwing them up! LOL

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 8:50:39 AM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		most people now see a collar as a fashon accessory. Way back (ok less than 2 years ago) in my vanilla life, I would never have questioned a collar. I would be a little more cautious about most fetish wear though.

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to chrisy)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 8:57:18 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I have never hidden my life choices from anyone; not family ( including youngins ), not friends, not casual acquaintances. If they asked about it, they were told the truth in startling color

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/25/2007 9:02:17 AM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		isn't that our job as mothers? give them something to take to a therapist when they're old enough? damn. my girls will be so annoyed at me now.

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 20
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