RE: Closet BDSM Precautions

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RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/26/2007 3:01:17 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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My younger brother knows. My parents wouldnt understand even if they did know... Mom is so clueless that when one of my subs kept my riding crop after a session, she offered to buy me a new one incase I needed it again. She thinks it acually had some equestrian use.

The majority of my close friends know about my interests, and the relationships I have thereof. I use an online name, but its the same one I use about everywhere. For their privacy, I do not use Kitten nor Angel's real names in any BDSM themed conversations. Only a few extremely close friends know the truth about my boys, their real names and some have met them.

Honesty, this is who I am. Were my family to find out, theyd have the choice to accept it for who I am, or distance themsevles fro me. It was the same choice they had when I got married to a man they didnt like. I am doing as I please, you get to choose if you want to be part of it, or move away from it. But thats just me.

DV

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VampiresLair

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RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/26/2007 3:17:19 PM

instynctive

Posts: 2726
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I photoshopped the hell out of my picture.. if if any of you knew what I looked like, you'd have a hard time seeing it in the picture (which would explain all the kudos I've gotten on it.. LOL)

My Mom knows... she also knows I'm bisexual and that b and I like to have our share of adult fun.. heh heh She thinks it's a "hoot"! (her word).

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RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/26/2007 9:23:08 PM

wwwkevinww

Posts: 276
Joined: 7/15/2004
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I told my family, my brother, dad, and mom. My mom freaked out.....she found some girl who was being abused and went out of her way to make the "dom" pay for abusing her....

I think she was trying to show by example what could happen if things got out of hand....and try to overtly modify my behavior.

I have met a woman who was not even her own guardian, and that was sort of a turn off.......I don't find dominating women with no actual confidence fun....what is worse is this female refered to herself in third person alot.....like it was a safer way to express herself....

I sort of gotten a wierd fantasy/fetish with taking a woman with alot of confidence and taking legal guardianship over her.....I don't really know all the legal ramifications, but I think its the closest thing you can get to being legally recognized as taking 24/7 control of someone.....

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RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 6/27/2007 1:17:30 PM

LadyPaige

Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
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My mother worries enough just because I'm single and dating again. If she found out, I think she'd worry so much she wouldn't be able to keep it to herself. She'd confide in an Aunt, who would confide in her daughter, who would spread it around to the cousins. I think some of my cousins would pretend not to know, and others would love to find out because it would be fodder for gossip for years to come.

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RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 7/17/2007 9:47:56 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
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Many of my friends know. One of my brothers and his wife know. He is waiting very impatiently for my latest "story" (pervert that he is!). My sister knows, but wishes she didn't LOL.. I like to shock her by blurting different things out. Her jaw drops open and she can't get her hands to her ears fast enough "NO NO NO! You're my little sister! I can't hear you! la la la la la la la..."

I would really have no problem telling my Dad, but I'm always afraid he will counter with stories from his wild days, then I'll be one covering my ears and singing!

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RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 7/17/2007 9:56:20 PM

dawntreader

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i just "came out" so to speak to my sister...and she wishes she didn't know. i wish i hadn't told her~

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RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 7/17/2007 10:11:39 PM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
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I'll jump in, my family dosen't know. But at the same time we just don't talk about those kind of things all they want is for me to be happy. A group of my close friends know, not all of the details just some. I don't think they want to know everything. I have a few friends that I don't think I'll ever tell just seems like this would freak them out, I also think they might get freaked out about the idea people have sex with the lights on.

So am I in the closet? In someway I am, but I just don't see a need for everyone to know.

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RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 7/17/2007 10:30:11 PM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPaige
3. I use an alias so that if someone mentions my name, they won't give me a thought.

Paige

I'm not convinced that's such a good tactic. My real name is an open secret in our community, but there are others who use aliases. Which is more embarrassing - being addressed by your real name by someone from the scene that you meet in the street, or being called by your scene name and having to explain why someone has addressed you by the wrong name? I can bet which would get you more flustered.... It's happened to me. I met someone I knew from the scene and called him by his scene name, only to watch him squirm with embarrassment as it was just an alias and I didn t know it.

:))
LH

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RE: Closet BDSM Precautions - 7/17/2007 10:42:17 PM

MaamJay

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Joined: 9/2/2005
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For Me, it was a matter of choosing very carefully who I wanted to know and ONLY if I thought they were open-minded enough to handle it. I wanted them to know because they were sufficiently close to U/us that I didn't want to have to lie and make excuses or pretend around them ... but also I didn't want to thrust them into the position of knowing something they really didn't want to know. So I tended to start by explaining that there was something I wanted to share, something I wanted to trust them with ... but also that it was something a bit out of the ordinary and it was their choice if they wanted to hear it. I also said how much I valued the friendship and didn't want to risk that. Those I approached that way said yes, they wanted to hear it and they appreciated the trust ... and the choice I offered. All of them coped well with it, and it gave U/us the freedom to be O/ourselves with them which was great! One couple asked a lot of very intelligent questions at the time but then anything else was "too much info" so W/we respected that.

In the end, 3 vanilla couples and My lesbian sister were the ones W/we told. Mum and elder brother (he's in UK) don't know, though he's given Me enough stick about the menage a trois I had going back in Perth! Wouldn't be any value in telling either of them and there could be a lot of harm.

I would recommend thinking about why you want to tell someone, what they will get out of knowing, what could be lost by them knowing ... and giving them a choice as to whether they want to hear about it or not. Put that above what you will get out of them knowing!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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