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Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 10:43:17 AM

fillepink

Posts: 124
Status: offline

i have a fairly self-explanatory profile; and yet i find myself speaking to people who are obviously not reading it or who just plain disregard it. i have no feelings one way or the other about people who are searching for a play partner here; i think it's a choice that should be honored just as any other choice is...but my choice is to search for a Dom of my own..for a long term relationship (or at least a Dom who desires one and is free to pursue such a desire).

i wish fewer married men, vanilla men playing at being Doms, male submissives, and so forth, wrote to me ; and i am also tired of being asked if i am bisexual; once is enough; when i say "no" i should not be hounded as if i could be persuaded to say "yes".

i know everyone who searches feels frustrated and discouraged at times; and i just wanted to say my piece. i mean no disrespect to A/anyone; i just wanted to say; bascically, why don't people take the time to read profiles?

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< Message edited by fillepink -- 6/11/2005 10:49:42 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 11:02:41 AM

ProScatman

Posts: 167
Joined: 5/28/2004
From: Ohio
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fillepink

i have a fairly self-explanatory profile; and yet i find myself speaking to people who are obviously not reading it or who just plain disregard it. i have no feelings one way or the other about people who are searching for a play partner here; i think it's a choice that should be honored just as any other choice is...but my choice is to search for a Dom of my own..for a long term relationship (or at least a Dom who desires one and is free to pursue such a desire).

i wish fewer married men, vanilla men playing at being Doms, male submissives, and so forth, wrote to me ; and i am also tired of being asked if i am bisexual; once is enough; when i say "no" i should not be hounded as if i could be persuaded to say "yes".

i know everyone who searches feels frustrated and discouraged at times; and i just wanted to say my piece. i mean no disrespect to A/anyone; i just wanted to say; bascically, why don't people take the time to read profiles?

I don't understand either? From time to time I see posts like this, and wonder am I different? I always read a person's profile before I contact them, unless it's for a complimentary message or other. I even get tired and put off when I can't find someone compatable, but when that happens I just lay back and hope someone see's my profile. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that any relationship has to be a two way thing. To read someone's profile, and know there isn't a chance, and then try to make it happen seems immature at best! I wish you luck in the future!

_____________________________

The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.

Have a good day, Mike

(in reply to fillepink)

Post #: 2

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 11:07:00 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I never understand what responses people expect from posts like this. "There, there, you've had some bad luck, but keep your chin up, not everyone is an asshole"? "I'm SO sorry you've encountered so many players"? "Hard cheese, Jeeves"?

You're posting on an anonymous internet personals site. I think it should be obvious under those conditions that you're going to get some unwanted mail.

(in reply to fillepink)

Post #: 3

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 11:16:53 AM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fillepink
i wish fewer married men, vanilla men playing at being Doms, male submissives, and so forth, wrote to me ; and i am also tired of being asked if i am bisexual; once is enough; when i say "no" i should not be hounded as if i could be persuaded to say "yes".

Yep, there are a lot of HNGs (Horny Net Geeks) out there. Its very easy to send an email offer, and the price is right too. So sifting through the countless, clueless offers is something that women (mainly) have to put up with.

I do not doubt that it is frustrating.

(in reply to fillepink)

Post #: 4

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 11:22:43 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

This does happen alot and I do see that you have been on site for several months now. No matter how hard W/we try, W/we are still going to receive unwanted mail. The extent of the unwanted mail is what I think most of U/us become frustrated with. It is possible to meet someone online, but it takes a long time, and you do have to weed through all the ones who think that just because you have an ad means you are available for some no-strings kink, either real time or cyber. And yes, they wll get insistant. I can imagine it is extra tough for a submissive lady, because I deal with same thing as a FemDom, and those boys are supposed to be submissive! *W*
I don't know if you are involved in any local groups. I did just try to google up something for Cleveland and I was surprised not to find anything. Are there any local Power Exchange groups in your area? Anybody else know?
Chances are you are going to find your Master in real time. Much good luck, and welcome to the boards.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 6/11/2005 11:24:28 AM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to fillepink)

Post #: 5

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 11:25:04 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

personally i find it very interesting to read others profiiles. i especially like the journals that are like a log of "whats going on" So people Keep up the journal practice!

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 6

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 11:29:18 AM

gretchen

Posts: 121
Joined: 3/8/2005
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

HNGs...I'm so used to them by now. They are like chewing toys for my mind.

(in reply to onceburned)

Post #: 7

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 11:31:28 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

Just dont chew too hard, i'd hate to see you break a tooth!

(in reply to gretchen)

Post #: 8

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 11:35:51 AM

ginger21

Posts: 173
Joined: 4/28/2005
From: Austin, Texas
Status: offline

You aren't alone, hun. I get the samethings as you... I get mail from Doms, Femdommes, saying "Yo, yo dom ain't a real man, call me and i'll make your cunt face submit" and male slaves telling me that they would love serve me...even though my profile says I'm a happily collared non-switching slave. I wonder if people even take the time to read the first 2 sentences of my profile or look at the pictures and see the big shiny collar in them! *eye roll*

I sigh with you as well.

_____________________________

My Xanga!
What?
"I looked up,
and I was in your arms, and I knew that I was captured..."

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 9

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 12:06:27 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Having expectations of other people, SPECIALLY ONLINE, to act logical, smart, wise, courteous and all manner of other responsible adult behaviors will only lead to disappointments.

Just accept it and use your delete key.

(in reply to ginger21)

Post #: 10

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 12:15:31 PM

MsSilvie

Posts: 248
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline

Eh, why do people do anything they do, or don't? It costs users of the system nothing but a little bit of time to throw out some bait and see what comes in for a nibble....

Just block the most outrageous of the bunch. Give the rest of them whatever time and energy you think they deserve. You'll eventually find someone who is a good match.

_____________________________

Strange thoughts beget strange deeds.

- Percy Bysshe Shelley

(in reply to fillepink)

Post #: 11

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 12:20:03 PM

gretchen

Posts: 121
Joined: 3/8/2005
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

Just dont chew too hard, i'd hate to see you break a tooth!

...but..but...They're so much fun!

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 12

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 12:55:33 PM

fillepink

Posts: 124
Status: offline

thanks to E/everyone who posted a reply...Y/you're very kind..and MsSilvie made my laugh out loud! o yes..after many months i found the "block user" key; and life did improve..for some odd reason i am the darling of the sadists, who write the most beautiful letters; i wish the site allowed me to keep all my email and to forward email; some of the letters are worth publishing. the sadists promise They will never do anything to hurt me if i do not wish it..i am no fool; They will not give up s/m just for me.

i have another question, which i also journaled but which will not be available until my profile is reviewed.

i am seeking a long term relationship...i hope to wear only one collar in all my life. so i care about whether the man i am in contact with is someone i could respect to that degree. the men, on the other hand, want to cyber and have phone sex. i am confused. i am told real Doms have good manners at all times, and this seems rude; to ask a woman You have just met to cyber. on the other hand, i am also told that D/s is not like vanilla, and here, it is important to find out whether O/our kinks match first. it's hard for me, because i'm a novice..and would do what my Dom asked..so i have really no "kinks" to offer apart from liking role playing, light bondage, wax play, oral sex and SEX, laughing.

so how do i ever turn the conversation to what i care about -- His character? integrity, confidence, compassion, kindness, faithful, not bigoted, votes, self-control, financally responsible (whether pauper or prince), loving, and so forth?

in addition, i feel strongly that a real life meeting -- actually a series of them -- is the only way to really know a Man. i have been lied to so many times, and i have been so alert; it's just impossible to know online and by phone what is true. i'm not saying IM and phone are useless; of course they come first; and most people have restrictions based on cost that prevent travel; but i feel the relationship does not start until the Man is here, in real life.

one of the kind people who wrote said she found no munches, etc in cleveland; actually there are some; although i have probably lost the information. a married couple offered to take me right before i started dating a Dom; so i did not go; and now their profile is in suspense. i cannot go alone; i just cannot. i have a friend in the next county i am hoping will agree to take me eventually but i have been asking for months. and the other problem is -- i want to leave cleveland -- so i do not want to find my Dom here. but i'd love to make friends in the lifestyle, in real life.

i am amazed so many people wrote so quickly; i guess this is a "hot button" issue for many people. i am not only sighing because of the inappropriate people who have written me; but also because i think in all the time i have been here, i have probably spoken to only a few real Doms and i wonder what i am doing wrong; how should i change my profile; i genuinely do want a collar; i am not here to hurt A/anyone by playing a game; i wish i knew the magic words to entice real Doms to contact me. Many Blessings on all who added to the thread.

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by fillepink -- 6/12/2005 5:12:05 AM >

(in reply to gretchen)

Post #: 13

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 1:01:16 PM

GreyStorm

Posts: 423
Joined: 1/26/2005
From: Cheeseheadland
Status: offline

I've said it before, I'll say it again....ya'll get email? *walks out of thread muttering to himself, you must be doing something wrong, try showering more....and the mutters continue....*

_____________________________

Ahhh temptation, I have named thee and thy name is woman.

(in reply to fillepink)

Post #: 14

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 1:01:27 PM

asissyforher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
Status: offline

first thing is..your profile is not put up yet..

second..set your limits so that your mails do not get unwanted mails..from males...

have a good day

a sissy

_____________________________

"still looking for a real life domme..no more plastic wannabes for me"

(in reply to fillepink)

Post #: 15

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 1:10:42 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Just get to know them like you would in vanilla. Spending time, ask questions, experience things together, specially offline. Character and integrity are shown through time shared.

(in reply to asissyforher)

Post #: 16

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 1:44:10 PM

fillepink

Posts: 124
Status: offline

how are Y/you people changing the image next to Y/your nick on the left? ty for telling me...fillepink

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(in reply to asissyforher)

Post #: 17

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 1:58:01 PM

fillepink

Posts: 124
Status: offline

can A/anyone tell me how to change the symbol that appears by Y/your nick on the left? thank Y/you..fillepink.

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(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 18

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 2:04:19 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I prolly shount do this but a rant is in the making.........I see people on here nearly 24 hours a day obsessed with it. But the pofile clearly states that you are looking for the One, must ber between 17 and 25 must have 30 years experience if you dont know what a LSMFT is you prolly aint my type and dont waste my time.............well your fucking time is not that precious to me, only mine...............now that holds true the world over for recorded history, I aint alone in this. I understand people want something overwhelmingly until it becomes a force. However this immediate internet shit............ronald regan thinking......whats in it for me right now? Listen, I disagree with the wiggler pictures and the on your knees bitch shit, but subs are too fragile in the main here as well as lesbians. Get ahold of yourself people, by ignoring shit on your profile and being pleasant, maybe you can make a few friends.......does everything gotta be about fucking? Jesus, thats all you women think about...... I understand that in a venue such as this it can be overwhelming, but at first glance you can tell losers from winners at least 75% of the time. We all make mistakes. But lighten up out here for christs sake, this is not the end of the world.......

thats enough

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to fillepink)

Post #: 19

RE: Big Sigh - 6/11/2005 2:36:47 PM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

quote:

can A/anyone tell me how to change the symbol that appears by Y/your nick on the left?

It will change automatically as you post more messages. On your 26th post, you will get a second triskelion and you will no longer be 'vanilla' but will be retitled "curious".

The titles and the symbols... we have no control over them.

< Message edited by onceburned -- 6/11/2005 2:37:18 PM >

(in reply to fillepink)

Post #: 20

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