LaTigresse
Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
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using fast reply.......
I believe that several men misunderstood the intent of my post.
My post was NOT about any perceived abuse to my son. He and his ex created a certain standard of living. Both were consenting adults though neither always behaved as such. I adore my son but I also conceed that he is not the easiest person to live with and shares in the demise of the relationship regardless of how she handled the situation.
Financially, though it has been a struggle for him it is certainly not a challenge he cannot meet. He is his mother's son after all. NO, I do not think he is being abused. As dark so elloquently stated, in this type of situation it is not about mother's rights or father's rights but about CHILDREN'S RIGHTS, what is best for the CHILDREN. Most seperating couples are too busy trying to destroy the other person and tend to forget that. Hense the need for the court system, and though it is flawed it does try to do what is best for the children. My son has joint custody and has the children more than 50% of the time. And yes, he still pays child support. SO WHAT! It is only money after all and more can be gotten by a little work. That child support helps assure that those two children get what they need when they are at their mother's house.
This is by far a better arrangement than any man I knew 20 years ago was able to receive. I know men that only saw their children every other weekend and if they were lucky two weeks during the summer. My son gets to see his children almost daily, and certainly no two days go by that he does not get to see them. They have a bedroom at his house, clothing, toys, everything they could possibly need. They feel equally at home there.
My son's ex is not a bad person nor is she a bad mother. She has made some bad choices but then haven't we all. The priority and focus should not be on her or my son but on the two lives they created and that will bond the two of them together for life. So she got a nice car. Regardless of the make and model it is only a car, therefor disposable at some point. Unless she finds a sugar daddy she will not have another like it when it dies. So she got a house, but can she maintain the payments? Probably not. Which is sad because it is a home to two little guys.
My son is not a victim because he will not allow himself to be. He is stronger and wiser than that. He understands that it is not about him or the emotional garbage between he and his ex. As someone stated and got attacked for, life is not always fair. There is alot of truth in that. Our society gets far too caught up in providing everyone a fair chance. Well, sometimes that is just not realistic. A very wise woman I know once told me "We are not defined by the cards we are dealt but rather how we play them". So you get dealt a shit hand, it is how you play them, how you cope, that defines the person you are. Are you gonna sit on your ass, bitch and whine about how bad you have it and how unfair it is that the person sitting next to you got all aces? So what that the person that has the aces is running around lording it over those less fortunate. In doing that they are defining their own character, and it ain't attractive. Take what you have and make the best of it, learn the lessons from it, prove your own worth.
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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!
Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!
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