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What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 3:55:33 PM

addicted2it

Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline

What is with this practice of calling your submissive or slave "boy?" It really seems silly to me.

I am hardly a boy anymore, so I cannot even comprehend the term within my frame of reference.

The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines the word "boy" as:

"BOY at various times has meant: 'a male servant', 'a servant or labourer from an indigenous people in Africa or Asia', 'a

male person of lowly status', 'a man of any age', and 'a male child'."

Were I African-American, the term "boy" would surely be an insult!

_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

Post #: 1

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 4:57:17 PM

sjacket

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/4/2004
Status: offline

I suppose it's all in the context of how it is used.... I am 49 years old, but I will always be her 'boy". And I will always be happy and proud to be called such.

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Have you hugged your Sadist today?

(in reply to addicted2it)

Post #: 2

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 5:02:35 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

i agree with sjacket, i have no problems with being called whatever Mistress choses.

(in reply to sjacket)

Post #: 3

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 5:03:54 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Many Domme's call their submissive/slave males "boy" to remind them of their place and usually it is an affectionate term. Male Dom's usually call their subs/slaves "girl" for the same reason. My sub enjoys when I call him my boy. For those who do not enjoy the term they need to have a talk with their Domme about it.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to sjacket)

Post #: 4

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 5:09:49 PM

KaramelGoddess

Posts: 404
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline

For Me it's a term of affection. It doesn't mean grillo is inferior to Me or "less than" Me in any way. He is very much a man and he's also My best friend and closest confidant. He loves it when I call him boy...especially when I say "My boy". He relishes My ownership and My Dominance of him. We both like the term so I see nothing wrong with using it. I also call him My bug and My lamb and My baby...all terms of affection and not meant to be belittling at all.

Then of course here in Bermuda we call some people "aceboy" and "acegirl" or sometimes "my boy" or "my girl" and it means nothing other than that we are friends. I have friends like this from several different races too, by the way....and they don't mind it at all.

If you and your Lady (if you have one) decide you should be called something else then that is entirely up to you.
~Kara

_____________________________

"Never eat more than you can lift." ~ Miss Piggy

(in reply to addicted2it)

Post #: 5

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 5:09:53 PM

BBBTBW

Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

What is with this practice of calling your submissive or slave "boy?" It really seems silly to me.

I am hardly a boy anymore, so I cannot even comprehend the term within my frame of reference.

The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines the word "boy" as:

"BOY at various times has meant: 'a male servant', 'a servant or labourer from an indigenous people in Africa or Asia', 'a

male person of lowly status', 'a man of any age', and 'a male child'."

Were I African-American, the term "boy" would surely be an insult!

According to the definition you placed, you fit the criteria for being a "boy "a man of any age" Are you saying that if your Loving Dominant affectionately referred to you as her "boy" you would take exception? I can't see how that matters in the grand scheme of things. If she treats you with respect and you know she adores you....why would you care how she refers to you to her friends/acquaintences/peers?

Since you are not African-American, thats a moot point

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to addicted2it)

Post #: 6

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 5:41:37 PM

MsDami

Posts: 7
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

I can only echo with all the others have said so far. I always called "Mine" boy. he loved it and was always proud when I referred to him as "My boy" to others. he beamed in fact because he knew that being owned by me was an honor and he worked hard for it. he also knew that it meant that I was honored by his being by my side, which is why he was "My boy". *s*

BTW, I've also called him "pet". But we both knew he wasn't really an animal. *s*

(in reply to addicted2it)

Post #: 7

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 5:43:42 PM

skaterboy

Posts: 58
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline

C'mere Boy and do it prompto.....or, be a MAN and tell me to "fuck off"
Don't you understand that your fate, your being, your needs, are all in your own hand?
So, answer, or refuse to answer to who you want to be.

Geez, Sir KC

(in reply to BBBTBW)

Post #: 8

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 5:45:30 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

"BOY at various times has meant: 'a male servant', 'a servant or labourer from an indigenous people in Africa or Asia', 'a

male person of lowly status', 'a man of any age', and 'a male child'."

Were I African-American, the term "boy" would surely be an insult!

And if i had a set of wings, man, you know i could fly.

i prefer "pet", but since "a male servant" is a pretty good description, i can't say i'd really have a problem with "boy"

(in reply to addicted2it)

Post #: 9

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 5:48:57 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I call my boys my boys because thats exactly what they are. Angel and Kitten are both far younger than me.
My questions is, if you were to refer to a female, Domme or sub, as girl in conversation.... would anyone think you were being offensive? No, its accepted. Boy can be condescending, it can be affectionate, it can denote age, rank or simply gender.
Put it in context before you get insulted. If I were to call Angel or Kitten boy, they love it. If I were to be speaking to a fellow Dom and refer to him as boy (usually in response to being called girl) it can be insulting bcasue its meant to be. AS a submissive, if you are going to take offense at something as innocent and widespread as boy, theres going to be difficulties. Do you dislike little one, too? Its also quite popular to refer to a slave or sub, regardless of age or size. For me, its a term of endearment.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to skaterboy)

Post #: 10

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 5:59:05 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I concur. While My boys have also all been younger than Me, I've never really looked it as a term of age, rather a term of affection. I do usually use it in the context of "My boy" which has hardly an insult. I've always seen the term as the equivilant to "girl" used in reference to a female submissive.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 11

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 6:26:10 PM

ready4srvce4all

Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline

Mistress doesn't like calling me boy, though I don't find nor take any offense on the rare occasion She did. It's like everything else, what works for one couple doesn't for another, and what bothers one person doesn't bother another.

(edited for grammar)

< Message edited by ready4srvce4all -- 7/1/2007 6:49:11 PM >

_____________________________

(in reply to addicted2it)

Post #: 12

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 6:37:21 PM

grillo

Posts: 5
Joined: 11/16/2006
From: Hamilton Ontario Canada
Status: offline

   Mistress Karamel has always called me boy, even before i belonged to Her, and i have never once considered it demeaning. Quite the contrary in fact. i love when my Lady refers to me as such. Indeed Mistress has always used the term with complete affection and i am proud to be Her loving and obedient boy, there is something about the term that strikes a cord deep within my submissive soul.   Mistress has always used "boy" with the utmost of respect and i have never once been made to feel inferior by it.
   i completely agree that the context in which any form of address is used is the most important thing. If there is a problem with the way in which your Dominant addresses you then you do have the right, respectfully, to discuss this issue with them. BDSM is about mutual respect so, if anything truly offends you it should definitely be brought to your Dominant's attention. It seems to me that any Dominant worthy of the name will consider your feelings when they are deciding what they will call their beloved submissive. They have far more choice words to use should they truly have cause to insult someone (as in to prove a point, for example:)
   Truth is, i'm delighted to be called whatever Mistress wishes me to be called. Two of my favourite words in the world are when Mistress smiles at me, filled with joy and says simply. "Good boy:)"

                                         GoddessKaramel's devoted "boy" grillo:D

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 13

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 7:04:25 PM

ImpGrrl

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

What is with this practice of calling your submissive or slave "boy?" It really seems silly to me.

You've answered your own question:

quote:

The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines the word "boy" as:

"BOY at various times has meant: 'a male servant', =snip= 'a male person of lowly status', 'a man of any age', =snip=

In any walk of life the "a man of any age" fits.

In d/s, "a male servant" fits for many relationships. "A male person of lowly status" can also fit some d/s dyanmics, though probably not the majority.

(in reply to addicted2it)

Post #: 14

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 7:24:12 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

i would offer my trust that whatsoever my Dominant should choose to address
me by, would endear me to Them, and thus Them to me.

Many times while in the exchange and discussion with a Dominant, i feel as
though i have come to them as a boy, hungry for Their wisdom and guidance,
nutured of Their knowledge, the eyes of innocence focused upon Them,
childlike in my enthusiasm to please Them.

Besides, Tarzan and Jane were the given for authority, though a pet, i just
couldn't identify with cheetah, therefore "boy" was a loving and comfortable
fit. It often brings a soothing and warm feeling to my heart when i hear such.

chia* (the petboy)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to addicted2it)

Post #: 15

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 8:49:13 PM

MissOchistic

Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline

For some men, it's a degrading term.

And degredation can be absolutely cock stiffening.

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"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 16

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 8:55:21 PM

Cloudz

Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

Boy, puppy, pet, all terms of affection. I suppose if it was a big deal or offensive to him, then it would be used only for pure meaness :)

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

(in reply to addicted2it)

Post #: 17

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 9:04:40 PM

LadyDominaX

Posts: 173
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

What is with this practice of calling your submissive or slave "boy?" It really seems silly to me.

I am hardly a boy anymore, so I cannot even comprehend the term within my frame of reference.

The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines the word "boy" as:

"BOY at various times has meant: 'a male servant', 'a servant or labourer from an indigenous people in Africa or Asia', 'a

male person of lowly status', 'a man of any age', and 'a male child'."

Were I African-American, the term "boy" would surely be an insult!

I've had an African American submissive beg me to call him my "little n****r slave boy," so you might want to leave the hypothetical situations out of your questions.
If you find it silly, that's your choice. Some people find flea markets disgusting. To each their own.

(in reply to addicted2it)

Post #: 18

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 9:17:39 PM

addicted2it

Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

quote:

What is with this practice of calling your submissive or slave "boy?" It really seems silly to me.

quote:

You've answered your own question.

Why have I answered my own question? If "boy" is a term of affection, I have not heard it as such. I would like to hear the inflection before I pass judgement on what I think doesn't really fit, especially when a submissive is certainly not a boy, but a man.

If a domme wants a boy, then they are redily available. And if a domme wants a seasoned and experience submissive, I do not see where the boy connotation fits.

Of course, this is just my opinion, but I do have the right to express that opinion.

[Edited because I can!]

< Message edited by addicted2it -- 7/1/2007 9:21:07 PM >

_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to ImpGrrl)

Post #: 19

RE: What is with this "boy" thing? - 7/1/2007 9:23:59 PM

addicted2it

Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyDominaX

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

What is with this practice of calling your submissive or slave "boy?" It really seems silly to me.

I am hardly a boy anymore, so I cannot even comprehend the term within my frame of reference.

The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines the word "boy" as:

"BOY at various times has meant: 'a male servant', 'a servant or labourer from an indigenous people in Africa or Asia', 'a

male person of lowly status', 'a man of any age', and 'a male child'."

Were I African-American, the term "boy" would surely be an insult!

I've had an African American submissive beg me to call him my "little n****r slave boy," so you might want to leave the hypothetical situations out of your questions.
If you find it silly, that's your choice. Some people find flea markets disgusting. To each their own.

Well, if someone wants to be demeaned in that way, go for it!

So, unless I hear the term used in an affectionate manner, it is still appears to be SILLY to me.

_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to LadyDominaX)

Post #: 20

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