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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 5:05:17 PM   
uwinceismile


Posts: 365
Joined: 5/29/2007
Status: offline 		dont know if this helps.
ive been around this life for a lil over 20 some od years...the woman that i am contemplating taking as my slave has been at this a lil more then 17 yrs.... we have been talking on the phone for a lil more then 3 months... we only live a lil over an hour or so apart. and have planned to meet several times. but we both have lil ones ,,and well, plans dont always work out :)...but we are happy to take our time. our over all goal is to make sure of what each of us wants, and to be sure we can fulfil each others needs. i am in no great rush, niether is she.tomorrow (barring any unforseen circumstance) we will be meeting. and we will see each other over the holidays as well... we may, or may not make a final descision for many more months???? but all the time , we are learning of each other.
becoming, or taking on another as property is a major consideration. nothing to rush into. its akin to a marriage in my eyes, so i refuse to rush in.
i wish you the best of luck in your descision making process.
the timetable you seek is in your heart......follow it wisely :)

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 5:07:31 PM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksub40

he changed my profile, he said that if i trusted him and want him i would allow him to change my profile to let others know i am not looking while i am in training


and you havent met him? DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to blacksub40)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 5:12:59 PM   
MyMasterStephen


Posts: 219
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksub40

how long should a sub/slave wait before she agree to be owned by a master/dom? i am really feeling this guy that want to own me. we have never met, we talk on the phone all the time. we have been talking on the phone for about 3 weeks is that long enough. i am very new to this i dont have any exp.



Do not even consider giving yourself into ownership yet.

Talk for longer.

Meet up for a vanilla chat, drink, meal, whatever.

Meet up for more vanilla chats, drinks, meals whatever until you have established a good rapport, you feel that you are friends, and you have established some level of trust.

Meet up for some mild BDSM "play".

Meet up a few more times for some mild BDSM "play", and gradually increase the level of play and trust until you have established some level of BDSM compatibility.

Then formalise your relationship as Dominant and submissive.

Then, if you meet up regularly and often, play together and just spend quality vanilla time together, you may be ready to go so far as ownership after maybe six more months.



Oops.  Too late: she's already owned.

(in reply to blacksub40)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 5:19:29 PM   
skaterboy


Posts: 58
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		24 hours and then take two aspirins and call me in the morning.....

(in reply to MyMasterStephen)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 5:31:52 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		It's different for everyone, but speaking for myself...I met Master online.  Instantly felt a pull toward him, and immediately responded submissively to him.  We spoke (phone and online) for about 3 weeks before I asked him to train me as his slave.  We did not meet in person for a month or so after that, at which point, we both knew I was his, without question.  I was not ready to meet him prior to that, as I knew such meeting required my offering myself to him physically as well as mentally and emotionally.  That was a little over two months from when we first met online.  It was several months after that until I received his collar, and almost a year after that until he put his brand on me.

I would not have been able to up and move in with someone I had never met before, after three weeks of conversation.  But it happens, and people are successful at it.  I had a friend who moved from Australia to Florida, sight unseen, after 5 months of online/phone conversations.  They've been happily married for about 6 years now.  So it can happen, but please do be careful. 

I agree with the notion that often times the idea of being owned is much different than the reality.   The idea of living with someone is often very appealing, but I don't think I could do that without meeting someone and knowing his hygeine, eating habits, expectations of a live-in slave, living arrangements, etc.  Keep your eyes open on this.


(in reply to blacksub40)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 5:35:18 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe its just me but I find it obserde(Sp) that you want to be owned by a man you have never even met... if you havent met face to face in my opinion it isnt long enough.


Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 5:41:47 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		fast reply

i peeped your profile and read your responses in this thread. first of all, why did you give him access to your CM account?  very unwise since you haven't met this "dark lord and master" of yours.

second, just because you're new to this lifestyle doesn't mean you shouldn't have any common sense either. do you really trust this person? to me it still sounds your very unsure of yourself and him as well as your "relationship" with him. from my own personal experience, i have trust issues when meeting new people (on or offline) and it took me about 4 months after meeting Daddy to really put my trust in Him. He understood my reasoning for taking my time however i wanted to be He was the right person for me.

also i noticed you're collared or under consideration - what do you really know about this person? his likes, tastes, dislikes, interests, etc within and out the lifestyle? what's he like in person? anyone can say they're a loving and caring but it's another to actually show it to you face to face. you can't feel love or share it over the telephone. plus it seems he wants you to move where he lives - how do you know will be able to find a job there? have you discussed about working or not?  there's a lot for you to think about ...if you're really seriously about moving ahead with this.

in pov, this relationship is doomed from the start because a shaky foundation. you two barely know each other well enough to rush into a D/s relationship without first becoming acquainted as friends. slow down ...give it some time ...meet in person in a public place and see if you're compatiable first. more importantly think of your safety first and be careful. sorry if i sound blunt in my response to you however remember there are sick sadists out there who lurk under sheep's clothing.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to skaterboy)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 5:44:54 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksub40

he changed my profile, he said that if i trusted him and want him i would allow him to change my profile to let others know i am not looking while i am in training


i'm in training right now and my Dom is in no hurry to collar me, well that's also because he isn't going to collar me; but that's a different thread . i would never allow him to change my profile, i'll change it if i want to not because he wants to. And yes we both would talk about what to say in my profile first before changing anything.

(in reply to blacksub40)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 5:45:54 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

OK, then tell him that.  You need to meet with him several times before you can consider a move.  Personally, it would be next to impossible for me to consider anything like that.  I have a rather good job and UM commitments that I won't break.  If it's right, it will weather the test of time (OMG!  I did NOT just say that).



Better watch it bandit25, your post may be pulled

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 5:47:12 PM   
blacksub40


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		please be blunt i am trying to learn

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 5:49:40 PM   
skaterboy


Posts: 58
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		Bottom line is this...trust your heart and hope when he whispers in your ear he will speak to your soul.
Go for it!

Sir KC

(in reply to blacksub40)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 5:52:59 PM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksub40

he changed my profile, he said that if i trusted him and want him i would allow him to change my profile to let others know i am not looking while i am in training


i'm in training right now and my Dom is in no hurry to collar me, well that's also because he isn't going to collar me; but that's a different thread . i would never allow him to change my profile, i'll change it if i want to not because he wants to. And yes we both would talk about what to say in my profile first before changing anything.


That is the greatest thing about this life style... There are not any ONE set of rules... What works for some, does not work for others... 

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 6:01:47 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		since, you're new and learning, i suggest you tell him that you need time to learn more about him and his personality ...so that way you're sure of yourself and the relationship with him. there's nothing wrong in listening your instincts about people.  you have the control of this relationship until you're ready to transfer that control to the one you choose as your dom. don't let him fool you into thinking you don't - the title of "Sir", "Master" is earned by the submissive who gives it not self imposed on himself.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to blacksub40)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 6:03:47 PM   
uwinceismile


Posts: 365
Joined: 5/29/2007
Status: offline 		very very true kitten :)
but i would hope, that newer faces , would be willing to listen to some folks who have been around a bit. not because they know any more.... but because they can see some of the pitfalls, maybe have climbed outof those same pits a time or two. i think its important that the op understands the possible dangers involved. we are not a boyscout troop...too many sick minds try to play in our fields :(
i would hope she would be willing to listen to all that is said,,and make a prudent descision ........
i dont want to scare her...ah hell,,yes i do...id rather have her a lil scred,and informed :)
final thought????  the fact that you are asking us here,,tells us, and you, that you arent ready to move :)

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 6:37:55 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksub40

the other thing is that i am in Louisiana, hes in Detroit. when we meet for the first time he want me to move there and be owned by him. he plan for me to come there the end of the year

And you don't see an issue with leaving your family, friends and support system to go move in with a guy that you've never met before? Regardless of how many times you talk on email or the phone.....you really don't know someone that way. For all you know, his previous live-in is buried in the backyard.

There's absolutely no need to rush things. You'll know when it feels right.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to blacksub40)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 6:40:36 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksub40

the other thing is that i am in Louisiana, hes in Detroit. when we meet for the first time he want me to move there and be owned by him. he plan for me to come there the end of the year



Does this wave any red flags for you?

Any?

At all?

Your profile says you're 40. Act like it.

Good luck.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to blacksub40)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 6:43:43 PM   
skaterboy


Posts: 58
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		wait no longer....BE OWNED
Jeez, was that hard?

winks, Sir KC

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 6:58:50 PM   
SirHedonicsslave


Posts: 55
Joined: 1/6/2006
Status: offline 		My number one question would be.....Why is he in such a hurry?  Why not take your time and get to know each other, meet face to face a few times, figure out if you can even stand to be in the same room with each other.  Realize, you're going to putting your life in the hands of a stranger.  Why did he need access to your profile?  Are you unable to change it yourself?  I"m not understanding the need to change it, if he thinks he knows you well enough to collar you, he should at least trust you to do the right thing.  What do you really know about him, other than what he has told you?  Done any research on who he is, his background, criminal history.  Talked to any former submissives or slaves of his, and i do mean directly to them....cause anyone can fake a letter.   Any references from groups in the area he belongs to?  
He may well be the "one" for you....but i would be very very cautious.  Never having met someone face to face and expecting them to drop their life and move??  Like someone else said...it may work, but it's a HUGE chance with your life.

heartfelt~SirHedonics slave

(in reply to skaterboy)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 7:04:21 PM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline 		I can't imagine myself contemplating moving in with someone, let alone relocating to be with them after 3 months of online communication.  I know that people have had successful relationships under circumstances such as yours, but they are the exception.   I would ask....whats your rush?   

(in reply to skaterboy)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 7:04:38 PM   
skaterboy


Posts: 58
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		I think you should wait long enough to decide that it is right for you. That could be a year, a month, or a blink of the eye...it's alll up to you my dear...Trust your instincts and follow your heart.

Sir KC

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 40
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